Sunday, June 26, 2016

Big Brother Gossip Episode 2!



We are officially in the house and we've got a LOT to discuss. Hear about all of the first week drama on Big Brother Gossip Show Episode 2 - 'We Run This Shit!' You can listen to Scott, Mike, and Myself discuss everything from the Network Broadcast, that 4th Of July Jozea drama, the budding and now defunct showmances, and that epic first fight from Saturday afternoon. We've got clips and plenty of witty banter for you to enjoy. We also did our first Big Brother Gossip Mailbag! Qualified Patrons were able to submit questions for us to answer and I had so much fun doing it! Keep the questions coming. You can ask us anything you want. Last night Scott and I picked our favorite Real Housewife and all three of us tackled the topic of whether or not we'd ever quit Big Brother. I learned a lot about my cohosts last night.

You can check out the show on iTunes or Stitcher. If you want to hear the Bonus Show Podcast that Scott and I did last week where we dove into new territory and broke down Southern Charm and the Real Housewives Of Orange County, make sure you're a Patron. We lowered the price drastically because we want as many people as possible to hear the Bonus Shows. Enjoy and thanks for listening!

Do you still need your Live Feeds? The house is heating up and drama is the order of the day. Don't miss out. Plus, you get one week free! You literally have nothing to lose.

Friday, June 24, 2016

This is me. In all my beauty.


Much like the United Kingdom wanting and gaining their independence from the European Union, the United States of America once sought their independence from the United Kingdom. "We don't want you anymore," the Thirteen Colonies declared. "We can do this all on our own so you take your stinky monarchs and leave us be!" The sentiment is a familiar one. It is one I have been feeling myself for the last 7 days. I don't want you Returning Houseguests! I don't need you dictating this game to me. You've had your chance. Now bugger off and leave me alone. Let's recap, shall we?


First things first, Sleeping Beauty here went to bed around 11pm and woke up around 6am so I have very little to go on. This recap will be bare bones, but once I catch up and get the gist of what's going on in the house, Saturday's Big Brother Gossip Show will be WAY more detail oriented. Also... I cannot blog everyday. I will not blog everyday. Blogging is what I suspect caused my herniated disk in my lower back so, you know, do the math. When did I cut down on the blogging significantly? When my back got all screwed up! It is literally painful for me to sit and write. Sitting for long periods of time messes up my back for the entire day and since I'm a really slow writer and a super active fitness nut, it's pretty awful for me. I've kept that to myself for the past few years, but you guys need to know what the deal is and that's the deal. Thank goddess for the Podcast because I can keep everyone updated on the house hijinks and I don't have to be wincing in pain hunching over a laptop while I do it. I will try to blog as much as I can, but I don't want to hear the bitching if it's not on the regular. 


Big Brother 18 opens with a hiss. A snarl if you will. Da'vonne sits in the Living Room holding court with Jozea and Zakiyah. She has a constant side eye. A permanent scowl. I don't know what happened to this chick between last season and this one, but she's pretty miserable. She's a jerk on the CBS show and there is nothing pleasant at all watching her act like she has some big score to settle. Day, a little wake up call, you went home SECOND last season. You didn't even come close to winning. So calm down with the bad attitude and stop acting like you're Inigo Montoya. Nobody killed your father. Slow your roll. 

As we were saying, Day, who has turned into a total jerk, is complaining about how live feeders harassed her for leaving her child last season to go into the Big Brother house. Apparently, they would send her tweets calling her a horrible mother. You guys, don't do that! Who the hell do you think you are? It is not for you to judge whether or not someone is a good mother. We can dissect Day for everything she does in the house, but harassing her online makes you a horrible person. The scene in the Living Room ends with Day announcing, “I’m so glad I got that out before these damn feeds turned on!” Uh yeah, so the HG's literally have no idea that they've been live for about 30 minutes. They know the feeds will turn on at any moment, but they don't know when. They are under the assumption that an announcement will be made. 


In the Kitchen, the mood is merry with some of the HG's making peanut butter cookies while Bridgette is inexplicably dressed in a nude bikini with pieces of cardboard stuck to her “parts.” Watching her scrub a counter in this costume is a little bit like that Seinfeld episode where the naked girl tried to open the pickle jar. Everyone is chatting and getting along. It's a little disturbing. In one of the Bedrooms we see Stinky Frank and he too is in some weird loin cloth/cardboard get up. We'll later see Skeletons (Michelle) and Cody (Paulie) in the same outfits so I guess this is what the Mystery-land or -ville or  -hamlet or whatever from the Rocket Competition turned out to be. Unfortunately for us, we now have to watch a bunch of pasty freaks walking around with no clothes on. Lovely.

As it turns out, the Have-Nots are finally able to eat tonight which explains all the cooking and happiness going on in the Kitchen. Paul is positively starving and Jozea can't wait to get his hands on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Remember, he's a vegan.

Then things get interesting. In the bedroom where Stinky Frank is lying in bed we see Cody and Zakiyah sitting in the corner stroking each other’s arms! Could it be? Is this our first showmance? These are so not the people I imagined. I thought perhaps Victor, or Natalie, or Corey, but no! It's Cody and Zakiyah. As a Zakiyah fan, I'm not too thrilled about this development because of the whole, "Cody is a total pussy and really boring" thing. Let's definitely keep our eyes on this and pray that Zak - that's easier to type than Zakiyah -makes a clean getaway. 


With his hand stroking and teasing Zakiyah's hand, Cody wonders if they are allowed to talk about what happened in the week they've been in the house. Day smacks her lips and clicks her tongue all proud of herself, "I got all my stories out before the feeds turned on because I ain't gonna talk about some stuff no more." Well aren't you a charming daffodil. Please, let us all bask in the glow of your radiant sunshine.


A little later we find Skeletons lying in bed with James. Zak, Day and Tiffany are in the room as well. Skeletons says that she thinks the feeds are already on. Day is pissed, “Why didn’t they tell us?!” James isn’t so sure they're on. He says the cameras usually go crazy if the feeds are on. Skeletons, then, out of nowhere, says that Jozea is lucky his 4th Of July comment wasn’t aired. Apparently some people were talking about the 4th of July and James said, “A lot of Americans died for our freedom.” Jozea then said, “No one asked them to!" *giggles and snorts* Oh Jozea. You blessing in tiny pants. That's the spirit! You just do you buddy. Let it all hang out. Offend EVERYONE. You will get no judgment from me, pumpkin. In the midst of all this, we can still here Day bitching and moaning about how she hopes the feeds aren't on yet. 


Let's get away from the misery of Day and move on to something more joyful. You guys are going to like this. It turns out that Zak and Tiffany do amazing Bronte impressions! Zak is especially good and it definitely needs to be seen. From what I can gather Bronte, Natalie, and Bridgette have a girl's alliance. Doesn't that sound just awful? Those three together. Thinking. And talking. It's horrifying! While most of the house knows they are a trio, it is up for debate as to which one is  the leader: Bronte or Natalie. I have a feeling they both think they are each the leader. 

This brings us to the big news of the night. There is a meeting planned for 2am amongst most of the new HG's. It sounds like it is all Jozea's doing. However, one sad pony isn't happy about it at all. Nicole sits in the Safari Room crying - CRYING - because she wasn't invited to the meeting. She says about Jozea, "What did I ever do to him?" Umm seriously? Bitch, you put him on the block! You put him up for eviction! What did you ever do to him? You did the worst thing someone can do to another Big Brother Houseguest! Is she for real? Anyhow, all of this is for naught because Jozea got tired and went to bed instead of having his meeting.


But let's backtrack a bit and stay on Jozea. Once again the discussion turns to what he said about the 4th of July. Why this is even a thing is beyond me, but this is Big Brother so of course it's a huge drama. Day's response to it is that any career Jozea hoped to have after his Big Brother life is gone now. Bitch please. That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. He's a make-up artist. He'll be just fine. To summarize what's going on, Jozea's problem with the 4th of July - which is actually totally inaccurate - is because the Americans stole their land from the Indians. I know. I know. There are so many things wrong with that statement. First off, the 4th of July celebrates the Thirteen Colonies rejecting British rule, gaining their independence, and forming the United States. We gained our Independence from Britain, not the "Indians." This brings us to my second point. Indians are from India. Native Americans are the ones we stole from in a totally different way that has nothing to do with the 4th of July.

Day has a huge problem with this basically because it came from Jozea and she can't stand him. Paul has a problem with it because he says it's like stomping on the flag and he hates people who stomp on the flag. He says if Jozea was in North Korea or Russia, he'd have a bullet in his head. Skeletons has a problem with it because it's historically inaccurate. Plus, I think she's being sneaky by even bringing it up in the first place in order to start drama. James has a problem with it because "'Mericans fought for this here country." He mentioned to Jozea how there are Americans in Afghanistan right now fighting for us. To that, Jozea said something along the lines of, "So what?!" Look, if I was in the house I'd probably hate Jozea too - not for his silly ignorance - but because he is definitely acting like he's better than everyone. But as a viewer... I love him! He promised he'd make this a crazy season and so far he's got a good start. The problem is that he might not make it past this first week, but he's WAY too arrogant to recognize that that is even a possibility. He won't be in there long, but I do hope he sticks around for a couple weeks at least. The big question now, of course, is whether or not CBS will air it on the network show. We'll have to wait and see. 

Sticking with Jozea some more, at one point we find Jozea and Corey sitting on the Living Room sofa. Jozea is joking around about being fucked by a giant or something. I honestly have no idea what he was saying, but here's the best part. Corey is sitting across from Jozea gazing at him with loving eyes. He acts along with whatever pantomime Jozea is playing at. Corey then says, to no one in particular, "He's talking dirty!" And then he bursts into a fit of giggles. Why is this important? Well, a couple minutes later, to Corey's complete horror, the HG's have the distinct feeling that the Live Feeds have been on for some time. The color immediately drains from Corey's face. His heart begins to pound and he starts to feel faint. Why, you ask? Corey says, "Mom, Dad, I'm not gay I swear!" Corey is petrified that now we all think he's gay because he was sitting and joking with Jozea. Corey, that's not why we think you're gay. We think you're gay - not that there's anything wrong with that - because you got all lovey dovey on the network show talking about Cody. All the other guys were focused on the girls and you had hearts in your eyes for Cody. Plus, there's that rumor going around that you like to use a homophobic slur which is always my first hint that someone is a closet homosexual and hates themselves for it - like the Orlando shooter guy!

Now that the HG's know the Live Feeds are on, they are all acting ridiculous. Everyone is giving shout out's, they're jumping about like monkeys, and Jozea is giving a speech about how we all need to watch him because he's the best. He literally starts staring a camera down and begins to do model poses. He looks away. Looks back! Looks down. Looks up! He's making sure the camera is on him and then... pose! He's crouching like a tiger and leaping like a dragon. And then we have Victor in the Kitchen. He says to one of the cameras, "This is me. In all my beauty."
And there you have it. I definitely have some catching up to do because I think there are some more alliances I haven't yet been made aware of. It's all good though because I'll be watching the Live Feeds today on my Roku (If you still need one, click on the Amazon links on the right hand side of this page. It is the best, most luxurious way to watch the Live Feeds.). I actually just bought myself a 2nd Roku for my bedroom. 

And if you still haven't gotten the Live Feeds, this is your personal engraved invitation. Go sign up! You get a week free!

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Big Brother Gossip Show Premiere Episode!


Last night saw the premiere of the record breaking 3 hour long Big Brother Gossip Show! Scott, Mike, and Myself had a great time discussing the new Big Brother 18 house, possible twists, and those unsuspecting new Houseguests. We analyzed them all one by one with clips, speculations, and predictions. It was a rip roaring good time that you should definitely hear before the premiere of Big Brother 18 this week.

You can download or stream the episode on iTunes, Stitcher, or Patreon. Speaking of Patreon, we'll be offering BONUS episodes this year exclusively to qualified Patrons. We'll be discussing everything from our favorite Bravo shows, other reality shows, and any early week Big Brother happenings that might not make our usual Saturday episodes. Sign up now HERE so you don't miss these exclusive rewards!


Saturday, June 18, 2016

Tiffany: Literally Literal


Last one! This here is 32 year old High School Teacher Tiffany Rousso. If that last name rings a bell, I have two words for you: Medication Time! Yup, this is Vanessa's sister. Glancing over Tiffany's CBS.com profile I notice that she is incredibly succinct. She's quick to the point. Three words to describe herself: passionate, smart, and sincere. Hobbies: playing basketball, wakeboarding, paddle boarding, painting, singing, and playing guitar. Life's motto: "Live with urgency!" Boom. Done. She is not like her sister at all. Had Vanessa filled out the same questionnaire, it would have to be downloaded in the form of an e-book, published in 16 parts, and littered with footnotes. Perhaps Tiffany won't have to see Nurse Ratched every morning like her sister did. Perhaps Tiffany doesn't have two entirely different personalities (pre-med and post-med). Perhaps Tiffany won't drive us all batshit crazy. Perhaps.



Right out of the gate we notice that Tiffany is calm. She does sound a bit like her sister and her mouth and neck have distinct Rousso traits, but she seems lovely. Jerf, on the other hand, is a giant tool. He asks Tiffany what her favorite Big Brother seasons are and she replies, "10,12, and 13." Jerf is all, "But I'm fishing for something!" Tiffany replies, "Well, it's hard to pinpoint one favorite season. They are so many different characters that stand out." Jerf thinks she's trying to compliment him for some reason so he thanks her by slapping her with his index card. Finally, he switches tactics, "Who do you KNOW in Big Brother?" What happens next is interesting. Tiffany immediately becomes visibly uncomfortable. Jerf reassures her that no other Houseguests will see this interview.


After a pause, Tiffany is either playing dumb or is genuinely confused. She asks Jerf, "You want to know who I know? Like who I've met?" What game is she playing here? WE CAN SEE YOUR LAST NAME. Finally, she says that she's met a lot of people from last season because her sister is Vanessa Rousso. Jesus Christ, that was weird. I still can't figure out if she's slow and moronic or trying to be covert.


Now that she has admitted that she is related to Vanessa, we need to know how she plans on dealing with that information. She says she's not going to come out and say it, but if someone confronts her about it, she won't lie. Jerf, however, thinks that the Houseguests might be able to suss Tiffany out because she and Vanessa have similar man-yer-isms. Manyerisms. *sigh*

When it comes to playing the game, Tiffany hopes to be far less emotional than her whack job sister. While Vanessa was indeed emotional, Tiffany thinks that she played one of the best games ever in Big Brother history. We all have our issues with Vanessa's game play and her personality, but I won't disagree with that statement. Vanessa was indeed a master manipulator. We may not have liked her crying, hissy fits, lies, and psycho babble, but the bitch got shit done when she needed to and she was an integral part as to why last season was so fucking fantastic. No one wants a nice normal sane person in the house. What fun is there in that?!

Tiffany acknowledges that she is incredibly competitive so throwing competitions could be difficult for her - even if it is in her best interest to do so. She hopes to lay low for the first few weeks (Boo!) and not win too much - especially the first HOH.


This next part may seem innocuous, but I think it explains a lot about Miss Tiffany. Jerf asks her what her greatest life accomplishments are. Tiffany says that last year she started a new SAT Prep business. Jerf says, "I took that!" Obviously, he's talking about SAT Prep in general. I mean, we all took the Princeton Review. That's what he's talking about. But Tiffany thinks he's referring to her specific class - the class that she teaches - the business she just started. Only when Jerf explains to her that he took an SAT Prep class when he was in high school does she realize what he's talking about. Why do I point this out? Well, remember earlier when Jerf was asking her who she knows in Big Brother and Tiffany was like, "You want to know who I've met?" I think she has a hard time understanding jokes, sarcasm, innuendo, etc. She's incredibly literal. I don't think she's on the "spectrum," but she does that thing that autistic kids do - where they take everything at face value. In Tiffany's case, I think she either doesn't have much of a sense of humor or isn't very bright. Since she's a teacher and now has an educational business, let's hope for everyone's sake that it's not the latter.

Just as I was ready to wrap up this post, Jerf asks Tiffany if she wins the $500,000, will she dangle it over her sister. Tiffany asks him, "What do you mean dangle?"

Friday, June 17, 2016

Glenn: A Bronx Tale


This is 50 year old Glenn Garcia from the Bronx, New York. I'm sorry, but what the hell is this guy doing in the house? I have no problem with casting older Houseguests as long as THERE ARE MORE THAN ONE. Sticking him in a house with a bunch of 20-somethings isn't exactly fair. There needs to be at least a 40-something female to give him someone to relate to. I feel like he's going in with a million strikes against him. Well, there's nothing I can do about it. This is Glenn and he's a former Police Detective turned Dog Groomer. Glenn's hobbies include deep sea fishing, traveling, and playing with his daughter. His motto in life is, "Life every day like it's your last because, one day, it will be."


Glenn is jovial with a great laugh, sweet as can be, and has a killer New Yawk accent. Since one of my favorite documentaries of all time is The Seven Five I have a major soft spot for NY City cops. There's a "thing" a NY City cop that is unique to just them. It's an attitude. It's a swagger. It's that brotherly camaraderie thing that only a few occupations lend itself to. Here's more to love about Glenn - he says he'll do whatever he has to do to win the game. If he has to flirt, he'll flirt - even though he has a fiance back at home.


Glenn says his greatest asset is his versatility. He can blend in easily with all different types of age groups. That's good, but you're only going to have to blend into one and that's "early 20's." For his downfall, Glenn cites his mouth. Apparently Glenn has the tendency to "blow up" if someone gets under his skin. Thank god! There was a teeny tiny part of me that worried he'd be a useless bore like Derrick, but no way! He was a NY City cop. They're a different breed. He's not going to lurk in the corner quietly and think he's smarter than everyone else. He'll be a mover and a shaker. He's from the Bronx - he says this a lot - and being from the Bronx, there's no second place. Second place - even getting $50,000 - is a loser.

While I worry a bit about Glenn's social game and ability to relate to the others, I'm going to keep my fingers crossed for him. I think he's going to be fun to watch and, hopefully, he'll stick around long enough to bring us hours of entertainment. Good luck Glenn because you're gonna need it.

Natalie: Single As A Pringle


Next up is 26 year old Event Coordinator Natalie Negrotti from Caracas, Venezuela. Natalie describes herself as altruistic, athletic, and beautiful. Some of her many many many hobbies include painting, cooking, baking, eating, napping, online shopping, doing hair, painting her nails, tanning, dancing, going on dates, playing with puppies, pageants, decorating, having tea, watching puppy videos, bargain shopping, etc. Bitch, we didn't ask for everything you've done over the past year. We just want to get a sense of who you are and "napping" doesn't exactly do that. Jesus Christ! I like making breakfast in the morning then brushing my teeth and working out, checking my mail, replying to emails, putting on mascara, trying to find the right shoes for this outfit... Oh my god, shut up!


I'm almost scared to see what she's like in person, but nonetheless! "I love pink! Pink and glitter are my two favorite colors!" Pipe down chachi. Christ, she's annoying. So Natalie likes Big Brother (aside from the nonglitter walls) and used to watch it with her Aunt. I still feel like she's a recruit, but I think she's watched a little more than the other recruits. Anyhow, Natalie's strategy is to create an all girl allowance. That is not a typo. The unique part of Natalie's game plan is that her all girl allowance won't turn catty or mean. Her all girl alliance will be, and I quote, "a really nice one." Can someone please ram my face into the end of an ice pick?


Natalie is not just single, my friends. She is SUPER single! She declares, "I am single as a Pringle!" I swear to god I'm not making any of this shit up. Well, she's got the mental fortitude of a Pringle, that's for sure. Here's something interesting, Jerf says that he always tries not to say "single, ready to mingle," but now he's going to say "single as a pringle." Correct me if I'm wrong, but hasn't he been with Jordan for like 7 years? And aren't they married? And expecting a baby? The words "single, ready to mingle" shouldn't have been anywhere in his vocabulary for more than 5 years. Unless...


As for downfalls, Natalie declares that she has no patience. I'm with you on that, sister. She's also girly and energetic which might bug some people. Yup. On the plus side, she says she's physically fit and should do very well in the physical comps which could intimidate others.

Look, she's really annoying and unnecessarily whiny at times, but... but, but, but, a part of me wonders if it's just interview jitters. She's poised and she's very cute and I think maybe there's a part of me that wants her to turn out to be normal and not such a spaz. I get a sense that she's pretty together and probably not so sweet. Only because she said like 10 times that she's really sweet. Mmm nah. If you were really that sweet, you wouldn't keep announcing it to people. I want to stick Natalie on the back burner because I'm getting a vibe that she could be one of the stronger females in the house. I also think, out of anyone, she might be a good showmance candidate. I guess we'll have to wait and see!