Friday, July 3, 2009
I click on Braden's video thinking to myself, "No chance he talks about his foray into the soft core porn world. He'll talk about his love for surfing and that'll be that." Shit. I didn't even get that far. Boy said "Hi" and I ran here.
Have any of you ever heard of the term "Butter Face". It's typically used by frat boys who call each other "brah" and wear Co-Ed Naked Lacrosse shirts. Let me use it in a sentence, " She's a butter face." Translated for those not in the know, this means, "Everything about her is hot, but her face." Gentlemenly, right?
Well, men, back at you I say... back at you! I call foul when I see Braden's video. Boy is a butter face. No other way to say it.
I literally clicked on his video and said to myself, "What the hell happened to his face? I thought he was good looking!". He's not my type or anything (I like 'em dark, tattooed, and in black leather pants), but he was kind of cute in his photos in a surfer kind of way. He was a bit of a sexy little bitch on that most beautiful men webpage. How did he get so bleh? How do you do that Braden? How do you look cute one day and gnarly the next? I'm reminded of that Seinfeld episode where Jerry dated the girl who only looked good in certain light. He had to take her to a strategically placed booth in Monk's where the light would hit her face just right. Otherwise, she was a freak show.
The website isn't letting me post the video directly here, but click on it yourself and tell me if I'm crazy or not. The videos are on the right hand side of the page. Braden's is first. http://cbs2.com/bigbrother
I'll watch the videos and make some comments I'm sure, but tonight... tonight I'll dream of the magical Jeckyl & Hyde that is Braden Bracha.
Ross is back with the women this time around. It takes him about 3 1/2 minutes to get the interviews so fast forward if you don't want to see him give out some lame prize. I like Ross and all, but I really hope the rest of the Inside Dish episodes aren't this vapid. The MTV "cut cut cut" editing is annoying.
Every year I divulge my first impressions and every year they're wrong. Remember how I actually liked Dan last year? Yikes! Just for shits and giggles, let's do it again.
First impressions (I should have done this with the men):
Chima - I don't know her, but I know I don't like her. Who the hell does she think she is? Diana Ross? This isn't Studio 54 honey. The blue eyeshadow is played. It never made a successful comeback. Why can I see her clapping in people's faces a la Jameeka?
Jordan - She's cute and it always makes me laugh when girls with boobs jobs let others fondle them, but that voice, that baby talk thang she's doing... Why why why does someone everyone season have a voice that melts my face? My headache from Keesha's laugh only went away last week.
Michele - Seems sweet. Her game play will be interesting to watch. She'll always been thinking. Just hopes she doesn't overthink everything like Natalie (BB9) did.
Natalie - I like her. She's spunky.
Laura - Horsey... oooops did I say that? Alright so her mouth is crazy weird and she's whitened her teeth maybe one time too many (see the Friends episode where Ross' teeth glowed in the dark), but she may just surprise us all. I like that she's taking it seriously and has a bitchy edge to her.
Lydia - She's tattoolicious. Ross didn't ask her a damn thing about the game though! What the fuck kind of sit-down interview was that?
What are your first impressions?
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Speaking of how rockin' the new blog is, you'll notice some lovely ads for your shopping pleasure appearing over the next few days. How official am I, right? Well, click on them you silly kids! If you haven't subscribed for your feeds yet, get them via MY ads and contribute to my wine cellar fund. Totally kidding. I don't have a wine cellar, but hey, that's not a bad idea!
AND hopefully I have another BIG announcement in the very near future. It's super exciting. Alright enough chitchat, let's get this show on the road! Here's Ross Matthews interviewing all the men of Big Brother 11. Enjoy!
UPDATE: Big announcement is here! The lovely folks over at the bigbrothernetwork.com have agreed to add me to their link list! This is huge guys. They have a GREAT site on all things Big Brother and I encourage all my readers to give them support this season. You'll find them on my Blogroll list as BIG BROTHER 11. Give them a click and check out their site!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Courtesy of welovebigbrother.com, I bring you an in depth interview with Allison Grodner (BB Executive Producer). She pretty much reiterates everything we've already heard today with some new juicy nuggety details. For example, an HOH canNOT nominate someone within his or her own clique. Interesting. Also, she never said "jungle theme" when referring to the third room. Hmmm, I wonder who made that up. Looks like America will once again have a big say through online voting. You know I'll be totally pimping my choices for all votes here at the new and improved Bitchy Big Brother Blog.
Enjoy! Thank you to welovebigbrother.com!
Here's the exact scene... in a foreign language I don't recognize... but it's still funny dammit!
Now why am I referencing this scene on a Big Brother blog? I'm mentioning it because I've now learned there is to be a mysterious third room otherwise known as "The Jungle Room". Sounds kinky. huh?
Here is what Allison Grodner has to say about this mysterious room:
Executive producer Allison Grodner teased that one of the three bedrooms, a jungle-themed enclave, will feature a nasty surprise.
“It is a room that will test their resolve,” Grodner said during a recent tour of the newest “Big Brother” house. “I will go out on a limb and say that it is the worst room to sleep in any ‘Big Brother.’ After 11 seasons, that’s saying a lot. This is a special treat for the houseguests. Each week, one group of houseguests will end up in this room.”
Ummm ok so it's a "nasty surprise" that's the "worst room" to sleep in, but it's also a "treat". I say What the fuck Allison Grodner? Can you be anymore confusing? Will they have to sleep with bugs and snakes a la I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Outta Here? Will it be a hot dense humid room with sounds of monkeys in the background? Will young native boys dressed only in loin cloths be fashioning a canoe out of a fallen tree? I need more answers!
Anyone out there want to venture a guess as to what "the jungle room" is?
UPDATE: Here's a link to a tour of the house: http://www.cbs.com/primetime/big_brother/video/video.php?cid=1153885575&pid=nmOpt_vfhiURKV9Mp__ns3ow0HN8sR1a&category=bestbb10&play=true
There's NOTHING jungle-y about that third room! Was this taped pre-jungle theme?
Created by Michael Costanza and directed by Sam Irvin, Dante's Cove combines elements of the horror and soap opera genres in telling the story of Kevin (Gregory Michael) and Toby (Charlie David), a young couple seeking to be together and overcome the dark mystical forces that conspire to separate them. The show debuted in 2005 to a mixed critical reception. The third season ended on December 21, 2007. here! has confirmed that a fourth season will be in production in the fall of 2009."
Laura - Young brunette female reminiscent of BB8's Jen Johnson
Braden - "Eye candy" according to Alison Grodner, 25 yr old surfer dude
Casey - "The Dad", 41 yr old 5th grade teacher and DJ
Russell - "Tough Guy", 24 yr old mixed martial arts fighter
Natalie - "Tough Girl", 24 yr old Tae Kwon Do champion
Jeff - 30 yr old advertising salesman from Chicago, single
Ronnie - "The Geek", 30 yr old married gamer, photographic memory
Mystery HG - Oh dear god no. Rumors are either Sheila or Michelle. Not good!
So, my readers, old and new, will you be watching this year? Are you getting the feeds? Me? I keep the feeds year round in the case that a spontaneous season pops up suddenly. Hell it worked during that lackluster Winter Season.
Initially, I wasn't sure if I'd keep up the blog this year, but who am I kidding? I live for this damn show and my snarky witticisms are a Big Brother tradition. Why would I deny you of that? I'll probably move the blog to a blogspot address so everyone can read and comment (and here it is!). Multiply is just too limiting. This year we'll also have Twitter which will come in very handy when something dramatic goes down on the feeds. I'll tweet the drama for all to enjoy. Join now so you don't miss a thing! https://twitter.com/ColetteLala
First impression based on the photos: Lydia is my early favorite. How can she not be? She a sexy bisexual with ink in an artistic industry. Call me crazy, but Natalie and Lydia... do you see it? I do. It can happen. Fingers crossed. Ronnie and Michele could team up early and win the whole damn thing. A photographic memory doesn't strike me as exactly "fair" in the BB world.
Jordan and Laura will either hate each other or become besties. Either way I hope they get into a cat fight over one of the douchey guys. Drama. I want it. I expect it.
Braden could be trouble as in ANNOYING. If he's a pretty boy who knows he's pretty he'll be number 1 on my list. Russell could pull a Jessie (BB10) and just be an obnoxious meathead. Maybe they want him to hook up with Natalie and have intense fighter sex, but I'm already pulling for Natalie to go the gay way so I think I'll put Russell with Kevin. The more gays the better.
Would it kill Big Brother to cast a sexy Latina? Seriously, we always get our token gay and our token African American, but I want my token Latina from now on.
So what do you think guys? Chime in. Don't be shy. You no talkie, me no postie. Let's make this a banner year folks!
UPDATE: NEW RUMORS CIRCULATING THAT 13th HOUSEGUEST IS BRIAN FROM BB10!