Natalie instigates a convo with Michele where she discusses the possibilty of Michele going on the block. Eventually Jeff and Jordan walk in and I become more certain that it's all for show. It went something like this:
Natalie, “Just beause you go up doesn’t mean you’re going home.”
Natalie straight up tells Michele she doesn’t trust her.
Natalie says, "I know 100% you would put up me and Kevin and if you say otherwise you’re lying." She then brings up how Michele went back on her word to Chima.
She mentions how Michele told everyone in the HOH, “If anyone believes what I say you’re stupid.”
Keep in mind she's doing this all in front of Jeff and Jordan. She's lulling them into a peaceful state of perceived safety with her evil Ragamuffin hypnotic powers.
Natalie continues, “You put me and Chima up when you swore on your husband that you wouldn’t do that. You broke your word so how can I believe anything?”
Natalie, “Kevin is my friend and I’m looking out for him”
Michele, “If I go home this week I go home. I lost”
Natalie, "My opinion, in front of the whole house, is you go on the block”
Natalie, “You said if I win I’m putting Kevin and Natalie up right?”
Natalie turns to Kevin, “Well then, beat her to the punch!”
Natalie, “It’s not a secret. Everyone knows what I want, but I’m not HOH”
Kevin, “I do want to hear your thoughts Michele before nominations. I don’t know where your head is at. “
Michele, “I fully expected to be on the block. That’s why I didn’t eat or sleep last night”
Kevin says, “I know that you and Jeff have a tight bond, but I want you to know that I treat you two as two different people.” He says that with POV Natalie could definitely still be going home (If he were to nom Jeff and Michele and Jordan won POV, Nat could go home) and his mind is on that right now. He says, “If I put you and Jeff on the block and the veto is a brain thing I would fuck myself because Michele would win.” Jeff walks in and sits down.
Jeff replies, “That just shows what type of person she is.”
Kevin asked Michele who she’d put up and she said she’d put up Kevin and Jeff. She's such an idiot. She should know better than to tell someone to their face that she'll put them up. She needs to learn the art of telling someone what they want to hear.
Jordan puts down the brick of cream cheese she's gnawing on and says how Michele said they should fight for veto together.
Kevin, says, “I do think that she is a very real threat in this game.”
Kevin says Michele was a genius as a child and put into special classes when she was a kid. He makes note about how she got her PhD at the age of 26. I was one of those genius kids too, but look at me now. I take pictures and make up leprechaun stories. Skipping two grades as a kid will fuck a kid up. Do you have any idea what it was like being the last chick in her class to get her license? It was great! I was never the designated driver and I spent many a night drunkenly fumbling in the backseat of other people's cars with boys from the prep school. Good times.
Jeff chimes in saying, "Yeah that’s a reason to send her home. I don’t trust her at all. I don’t tell her anything ever since the Russell thing.”
Kevin says that he firmly believes that Michele was onboard with Russ to get J/J out. He also thinks Michele thinks J/J are dumb and she can beat them in the end.
Jordan, “I know if she wins next week, she wants you out. She thinks me and Natalie are dumb.”
Kevin says he still wants to talk to her because he can’t figure her out.
Kevin says he’ll have to go off what she says and she says some pretty salacious stuff. Jordan sits and wonders what "salacious" means.
Kevin disagrees with Natalie and says, “The more and more I think about it Jeff has to go.” Uh oh... a chubby menopausal woman just landed on my front door step. She jumped out of a plane I think. Can someone come over and please remove her? She's starting to smell.
All day long BB was building something outside. Natalie thinks it can’t be dates or a memory wall since they’re building something. I HATE it when the HG's try to guess what's going on and make up crazy explanations as to why they feel the way they do. Jordan is the queen of this. You'll see later how she comes to the most random conclusion about competitions.
Natalie tells Kevin that Michele is going after them no matter what. She says if Jeff wins he’ll go after them too. Kevin is getting too confused and he shouts, “Fuck! Now you just made me flop to Michele.”
Natalie says, “Jeff is coming after us too, but Michele is dumb enough to vocalize it.” Jesus Ragamuffin. Who the hell do you want out? Jeff or Michele. Make up your mind cuz you can't have both.
Natalie is insistant that HOH next week means nothing and that it’s all POV. This is probably just her way of excusing herself if she loses again.
The Terribly Terrific Twosome discuss all the scenarios for who would go up depending on who wins HOH. Nat comes to the conclusion that HOH next week is indeed important. She has to win it to ensure they are both safe. Well, good luck with that Ragamuffin. Personally, I'd love to see her win and finally shut up all the people who mock her for losing all the time. Sure she's lost, but she's still here isn't she? Russell won a lot and Jeff won a lot... look where they are now.
Kevin goes on to say, “He [Jeff] honestly thought I was going to give him another HOH and let him control me.” LOL Jeff's ego played tricks with his mind. That episode of CHARMED was right. Pride is most difficult evil to get rid of. Kevin concludes “We lulled him into thinking we would be stupid enough to do that. That was awesome of us.” Awww come here Mr. O'Shaugnessy. Give me some sugar. He loves to stick his face in between "the girls". Motorboat away my precious.
Well, I'm in a good mood now. It turns out BB was in a good mood too. One of my favorite BB past times is when the BB crew scares the HG's. I fucking love it! The all time best scare was Josh from BB9. Who can forget when Big Brother scared the bejesus out of him in his undies. Please to enjoy:
While everyone was having fun trying to find aliens, Michele, the ultimate buzzkill, was preparing for another breakdown. Mr. O'Shaugnessy I need you! Bring me my opium and get your little ass under the desk. OK is everyone ready? I know I am. Let's begin.
I began to feel the immense pleasure that only a leprechaun could give me and then it happened. Dear god... it happened.
Gah! Where did I put my holy water? *tears through my box of potions and notions* Where did I put that damn holy water I stole from church? Her head is gonna to start spinning at any minute and the power of Christ is compelling me to take action.
Oh no... nothing good can come out of a face like that. Nothing good at all. She's plotting something. My death perhaps?
OK I'm just going to block those terrible images out of my mind and get on to what you all want to know about.... the midnight POV. Yes, last night there was a POV competition and it was the infamous morphing comp. The cameraman clued feedsters in on it early by focusing and refocusing on the memory wall. Kevin and Natalie actually studied the wall beforehand and cleverly put playing cards over parts of the HG's faces in order to study their features. Michele had studied the wall in the past and she spent her pre POV time taunting me and counting things. Jeff and Jordan, on the other hand, layed in bed scratching each other and talking about how they hope they get to keep their money. You dumb fucking twits!
Lo and behold, Michele wins POV. I don't know whether to be happy or not at this point. Jeff or Jordan will definitely be going home this week and that's party worthy, but Michele will be smug and that's hot poker worthy. So yeah, Ass Licker is a winner and she gloats and makes fun of Jeff for not studying the memory wall. Natalie and Kevin feign happiness and congratulate Michele. I have a feeling they're feeling much the same I am. They're happy to split up Jeff and Jordan, but they're pissed Michele gets to gloat. Natalie and Kevin want some gloating time too so they tell Michele that it was their plan all along to get rid of Jeff. Smart kiddies. Set yourself up to be in her good graces next week.
This may surprise everyone, but Natalie actually almost won. She beat Jordan by 6 seconds. I think it's better she didn't win. Let Michele do the dirty work of removing herself. If Natalie had won and didn't remove Jeff, then everyone would just be pissed off at her and that wouldn't serve her well in the future. So bask in your loss Ragamuffin. It's the best possible outcome for you.
Jordan, wallowing in sadness and idiocy, tells Jeff she'll tell everyone to vote her out so Jeff can stay. What a stupid cunt. What the hell is she doing in this game? She's going to risk a half a million dollars for a guy she won't even fuck. Poppycock! Jeff tells her to stop being ridiculous and try to win the damn game so she can buy her mom a house. He tells her to study and study hard and to make a deal with Natalie and get her ass into the Final 3.
Jeff knows he got got, but will he admit it? Will he go out with grace and dignity and admit that Natalie and Kevin made a good move? I'm not sure. He's pretty bitter right now and rightly so, but after a week of preaching to Russell over how it's all just a game I wonder if he'll be setting off my hypocradar this week.
In addition, is Allison Grodner thinking up new powers to give to Jeff? Is she scrambling to keep him in the game? I hope not. He got got and now he's got to go home.
My only hope for this week is that Jordan gives Jeff a sympathy fuck. That would please me immensely. It's her only way of redeeming herself to me at this point. Actually, I'd also like to see Jeff and Jordan campaign against each other. That would be fun I think. I doubt it'll happen, but a girl can dream.
So that's where we're at? Are you guys all freaking out Jeffy Pooh is going?. Are you taking your anger out on me? What the hell was up with my blogs getting only 1 comment each yesterday? You made Mr. O'Shaugnessy cry. I get thousands of hits here everyday and only a handful of you ever make comments. Well, that is coming to an end today. Anyone can leave a comment and they can leave it anonymously (it's always been this way). I want every single one of you to apologize to Mr. O'Shaugnessy and tell him something complimentary. He's punching himself in the face right now - he learned it from Michele - and it's breaking my heart. He needs love people. Please don't let him down.
Keep voting for BBTop50! We're back in the #1 spot thanks to all those hormonal baby makers I think, but that doesn't mean you should stop voting. The other evil sites get all pissed off that a foul mouthed leprechaun owner is at the top so I'm sure they're rallying their troops right now.