Big budget movies, reality shows, The Amazing Race, bar tours, concert gigs, commercials, websites, interviews, magazines, grocery store openings, time travel... the sky's the limit for the chuckleheads left in the house. Just ask them. According to Lane, there's a multi-million dollar 200 city/42 country bar tour awaiting him and Hayden when they leave the house. You think Bon Jovi or the Rolling Stones are the only people who can conquer Rio and Tokyo? Wrong! The Brigade is gonna tear this world up! Seriously, you guys, buy your tickets NOW before they sell out.
Now, I'm not exactly sure what Hayden and Lane will actually do on these tour dates, but it's bound to be fascinating, right? I mean, maybe they'll get on stage and work out or play pool. Fingers crossed I can see Hayden brush his bangs to and fro. Is Tiger Beat still around? Get Lane's mug on the cover of that bad boy because I so want to decorate my locker with it. And, if someone can finagle some sort of Burger King Hayden & Lane action figures or fountain cups, I'd be eternally grateful.
I'm sitting here watching last night's BBAD and wondering to myself what hallucinogenics Big Brother has been slipping into the water. I'm thinking it's potent, CIA created, and probably only legal in Amsterdam. An underground laboratory at Langley was definitely involved and perhaps input from the CDC as well. If whatever Lane and Hayden are ingesting gets out to the viewing public, that show The Colony won't simply be speculation anymore. It'll be fact. Anarchy will break out, I'll be forced to make a windmill out of shutters, and I may or may not have to create gasoline out of pig parts. Advanced delusion, like I'm witnessing right now in the BB house, is what killed the dinosaurs I think.
So, Lane has won Part 2 of the HOH and Enzo is pretty much done. Hooray! Hayden and Lane have vowed to take one another to the Final 2 as neither think they can beat Enzo in the end. Enzo knows what the dilly-o is so he's decided to sit in a corner by himself and pout all night long. He doesn't even want "Wifey" and the baby to come to the finale anymore. He prefers to sit in solitude with his thoughts and bitch and moan about how he fucked up his "golden opportunity" to win half a million dollars. He blew his one and only chance for his family to have a better life and the future is looking remarkably bleak right about now. His wife will have to continue to work in a sweltering factory where bathroom breaks are forbidden, Baby Gia will be forced to carry a kerchief on the end of a long stick and steal canned foods from passing trains, and Enzo will have to work 19 minimum wage jobs flipping burgers. It's all very very sad. Apparently losing Big Brother is the end of the road for Enzo. I have no idea how he managed to exist and survive before BB12 came along, but whatever worked for him before won't work anymore and now his life is over. *tear* Gia will probably end up addicted to the heroin and turning tricks in the back of blacked out vans - all because her daddy lost Big Brother.
While Enzo spent his evening with his head in the oven, Lane & Hayden sat outside in their misspelled Brigade t-shirts planning their futures. Exciting stuff, let me tell ya. Why anyone anywhere would pay anything to see these two idiots is beyond me. Do yourselves a favor and save your money. Take the money you'd spend on a Brigade t-shirt and get yourself a few months of NetFlix. Invest the money you'd spend on gas driving to Steamboat and treat yourself to a Blu-Ray DVD player. Hell, go ahead and buy an 8 track or some VHS tapes. Anything would be wiser than giving these two yahoos your cash.
Aaaaand, that's pretty much all I got for today. Nothing happened and nothing will happen from here on out. My weekend is jam packed (thank god!) so there won't be any blogs until at least Monday. So, what did you guys think of Part 2 last night? Did it shock you Enzo only stayed on that swing for 25 minutes in Part 1? Out of all the people in BB12, who do you think has the best chance of getting on The Amazing Race? How long do you suppose Rachel spends rehearsing one-liners? Comment it out bitches and have a great day!