Friday, September 9, 2011

Glittery Puke

It may be raining dragons and ogres outside, but it's raining glitter in my heart. Light delicate beauteous teeny tiny sparkles of shimmering light. Out of the corner of my eye I can see the woodland creatures have come out to play. A squirrel high fives a chipmunk and in response my melodious giggles carry on the breeze. Hark, is that a rainbow I see? No, it's FIVE HUNDRED rainbows I see! Crimson and tangerine hump each other in the sky while a lemony yellow rubs it's skins against a kelly green giving birth to an onslaught of blues and violets. Colors, colors, everywhere colors! Wearing nothing but a smile and a feather boa, I roll around in the blanket of glitter I've prepared for this very moment. It took months of haggling on the phone with party planners, thousands and thousands of dollars in rental trucks, and an exchange of sexual favors with random moving men that I'm much too ladylike to talk about, but I did it. I finally did it! My backyard is a shimmering sea of sparkles and I'm diving in. I've waited the entire summer for this moment and now it's time to celebrate. You're all invited. Leave your cats at the door and fill your jugs with gin from any one of my bathtubs scattered around the house. The juniper berries were quite plump this year. Jordan has left the building and I'm throwing a party. Let's recap, shall we?

By a vote of 1 million to zero (the other 999,999 votes belong to me), Jordan you are evicted from the Big Brother House. *fanfare, parades, marching bands* Now, do us all a favor, and never ever return to television at any point in my lifetime. And while you're at it, kindly convince your fake boyfriend to do the same. I still think you owe CBS $500,000, but I'm willing to let that slide if you promise me that I'll never have to listen that voice of yours again. That alone is worth half a million dollars.... "Wull, umm uhh it's so fusstrating. Jayeff!" Oh shut up.

All season long I've only wanted one thing: Jeff and Jordan out of the game. People have asked me who I'm rooting for and my answer has always been, "Not Jordan." I guess I'd like Porsche to win. I don't know. *shrugs shoulders* Rachel is vile and the thought of her getting rewarded for anything makes me ill and Adam... Well, I think we can all agree that the only thing Adam deserves is a one way ticket to the inside of an active volcano. The season as a whole has been a joke and I think it'll continue to be a joke if things stay the way they are. It's been 13 seasons of the same old same old. The game needs a gigantic revamping. We all know the ins and outs. We all know what to expect. Casting is paramount, but so is ingenuity. Big Brother is stuck in a rut and I think the only thing that can save it is a complete makeover. Get Ty Pennington on the horn and let's tear this shit down and rebuild. Enough with the complacency already. Update, upgrade, 2.0, what have you.

Alright, so this brings us to Part 1 of the final HOH competition. We left off with our final three spinning on a giant mixer in a vat of what looks like movie theatre popcorn butter and getting sprayed in the face like a Japanese bukaki film. It took a few minutes for the feeds to kick on and when they did I got something I didn't expect. I got sick! Head swimming, eyes rolling, insides burbling sick. Never in my life have I experienced motion sickness, but last night was brutal. It was near impossible to watch the spinning (my god, the spinning!), but I did manage to catch some photos of the torture.

Adam struggled from the start because the idiot placed his hands over his head rather than behind his back. He's also made of bacon and nicotine so I don't think anyone realistically expected him to win. He fidgeted and grimaced the entire time while the girls stood stoic with their eyes closed. After about 20 or so minutes, the lump finally fell just as we all expected him to.

Now we're down to Porsche and Rachel. Holding on didn't seem to be a problem for either of the girls and for the next 20 minutes they stood with nary a flinch. All of a sudden, Porsche started to twitch. I don't think it was her arms. I think it was the spinning, the godforesaken spinning... round and round, over and over, never ever stopping. *pukes into a cup* Out of nowhere Porsche says, "I have to get down." Wha... wha... what?!? Look, I realize you're probably sick as a dog and the anxiety is doing all sorts of crazy things to your brain, but you hold on, bitch! Hold on and puke on yourself if you have to. This is do or die!

My words fall on deaf ears as Porsche just - ploop - plops into the butter. That's it. That's all she wrote. Rachel has won part 1.

After everyone showers and gets their equilibrium back, there's a lot of reminiscing about past competitions and who won what. The second Adam leaves the room, Rachel turns to Porsche and tells her she needs to win part 2. Rachel is concerned that if Adam wins parts 2 & 3, he'll evict her from her game. I hate to say it, but I think that might be ok. In a Porsche/Adam final 2, Porsche has to win, right? Those chuckleheads in the Jury House couldn't possibly vote for Adam to win, could they? I could see Jeff & Jordan voting for Adam (because they're idiots and have no respect for the game), but would anyone else vote for him?

Rachel is convinced that in a Rachel/Adam final 2, Adam would win. I'm not so sure I agree with her. I think no matter who Rachel is up against in the final 2, she will win Big Brother 13. It won't be by a landslide, but she'll win. Porsche's best shot to win is for Adam to win parts 2 & 3 and take her to the final 2. Maybe I'm putting too much faith in the Jury, but I'd like to think that they would recognize how useless Adam has been all summer long. Then again, Porsche completely sucks when put on the spot in a question scenario. I can almost see her talking her way right out of votes in the question portion. Christ, who the hell knows? It makes my blood boil to think of a vet winning and, at the same time, I'm scared shitless Adam will pull a miracle out of his ass.

Looking back on this season, I think we can blame where we are now all on Kalia. Had Kalia not completely fucked up her first HOH, Brendon may not have come back, Rachel might have gone home sooner, and Daniele might still be in the game. Personally, I'm glad Kalia went out before the final three. That HOH that evicted Lawon was probably the biggest travesty of the summer. There were plenty of other mistakes along the way... most of which can be attributed to Adam's flipping. How the house let him get away with it for so long completely floors me. They let their personal bullshit get in the way of the game and a dud of a player snuck through to the end. What's even more stunning is that this dud actually thinks he's a solid contender. Adam thinks he can use the fact that he won some comps in the end to convince the Jury to vote for him to win. According to Adam, if he wins parts 2 & 3, he's got this thing locked up.

So, what do you guys think? Who do you want to win BB13? Do you think Rachel will win if she makes it to the final 2? Who do you think would actually vote for Adam? Can Porsche beat Adam in a final 2?

If you've enjoyed what I've done here this season, I ask that you please click on my PayPal button in the right hand column and show a girl some love. I know it hasn't been the best of seasons, but hopefully I've managed to entertain you and make you laugh just a wee bit. For the next 13 weeks or so, you can find me over at the Bitchy Survivor Blog. And, don't forget, the BB13 fun isn't over just yet... we still have Vegas. Sweet, sweet Vegas. I've got more insiders than ever lined up and ready to dish all the dirt. Some of the gossip may end up here and some may end up over on the Bitchy Network. Any fights, sex romps, scandals, or bitchassness that goes down in Vegas will end up in my little hands and wrapped up in a pretty pink bow for all of you to enjoy. Get ready.

Watch Big Brother 13 on SuperPass!


  1. Welcome back, Ms. Lala!

    Once again, you're amazing recap skills have nailed the BB events accurately with your usual insights & biting humor!

    Personally hoping that Porsche pulls a final two win against Adam out of her big, curvaceous ass.

    If Rachel makes it to the final two with either one them, she most definitely will get the majority votes to win, and that would be a shame,... but, Adam winning this whole thing would kinda suck big time too.

    In the end, like you, I'm just really glad that Jordan & Jeff "got got" & won't get no five-hundred thousand dollars outta this, & hopefully will never be back on TV again as you wished.

  2. Vegas will be a dud with this cast. How often can you luck out with a deranged PhD. let loose on the world. I think your going to have to be satisfied with Jordan dissapearing from view. :).

    Whoever wins the Final HoH, will win. If Rachel takes herself, she beats either Adam or Porsche, so I hope she takes Porsche.

    If Porsche wins, she can beat Adam or Rachel, so I hope she takes Rachel.

    If Adam wins, he can beat Porsche, but not Rachel. I should hope he takes Rachel for the let down factor, but I want Porsche to get some money for the service she did for us, by getting both Jeff and Jordan out of the game. Had she not beat Jeff head to head, Jeffy boy would still be beating on Jordan in the house.

    Great blogs this year, as usual.

  3. Great Blog!

    Agree Agree about Kalias move in first hoh& Her game move that week really fcked up so many guests games in my eyes

    If Rachel wins she can thanks Kalia&Shelly & I think most of all Jeff If Jeff&Jordan would have just let Rachel be Rachel Im convinced she would have went in fast forward but J&J just kept talking her down from the ledge&pep talking her To me that was J&J baddest game move besides the clown show lol*losing comps in end

    Frustrating year & first year I barely could find people to have a rational convo about show as well.You know its ok to like&love or even hate a guest but still say negative or postive things about them


  4. Unfortunately, I think if Rachel gets to the end, she wins, because there are so many vets on the jury. That being said, I'd rather see her win than Adam. Adam should have left the house a LONG time ago- he fucked up a lot of votes this season. I'd like to see an Adam/Porsche final two, because Porsche would win for sure.

    I completely agree about Kalia fucking up her first HoH and that sending a shockwave of shitty events in the house. I hope Dani wins the America's Favorite, but she probably won't.

    Also, if anyone had told me in July I would be rooting for Porsche to win this thing, I would have told you that you were out of your ever-loving mind. But well, what do we have to work with here? I'm just glad it's not Jordan. I'd hate to see Rachel win any money, but if it happens, so be it. At least it's not Jordan.

    Thanks for trying to turn this dud of a season into something entertaining, Lala.

  5. All Porsche did this summer was bake cookies, eat and nap. Kinda reminds me of J last summer except J never baked her cookies. At least Rachel cried, screamed and made sweet love to Brendon giving the other cast members something to talk about btwn naps. A&P- Worst Final HOH competitors in BB history! Poor things were dizzy! It's for $500,000 idiots! Rachel FTW-if you saw A&P drop in the FINAL HOH and were as disgusted as I was - you'll agree!!!

  6. Yeah,... This turn of events mess is all Kalia's fault.

  7. On point, Colette ! The screecher has left the building... yippee!

    I'm rooting for a newbie to take home the $500,000. Newbies were playing against the vets and CBS production tricks!

  8. I hope Porsche wins. So glad Jordan is gone! Can't believe it, I'm actually pretty floored. If Adam wins I can see him taking Rachel, just because he wants all the Vets to like him in the end. He's like Kalia in that way; he wants to stay friends with his fake celebrity crushes, even though after the show they won't give two shits about him. You're 500% right about the speech at the end though. Porsche doesn't seem like the best public speaker, and if Adam gets in a few chuckles from the Jurors, he could very well win it. But Porsche has to win just so there's a chance she'll boot Rachel. It has to be still in her plan, which was the idea before she opened Pandora's Box. Ah yes, Pandora's Box. Adam is a dud, Kalia is a dud. But most of all, the whole season has been a dud. Production did everything possible to have a JJ F2, but thankfully it didn't work out. I wouldn't mind so much if Rachel wins, but like you said Lala, I don't want a vet winning, and to think Brendon happy and gleeful sickens me to no end. Because you know he'll think he deserves that money just as much as she does and take the majority of it to pay for school, clothes, and more webcams. Blech. Here's to the coming end to a horrid season, may they revamp this shit ASAP.

  9. I wish you had "*shrugs shoulders*" as one of the options in the "Who would you like to win" poll. That pretty much sums up my thoughts. This season sucked. Your blog is awesome. You are awesome. Thanks for the chuckles. It was helpful to have some comedy relief from such a "fustrating" show. I want to fustrate Jordan's face.

    <3 <3 <3

  10. ugh. Porsche gets a lot of shit about her lack of comp wins this year--eats, sleeps, bakes--but it's like no one remembers that for the first four weeks, SHE COULD NOT COMPETE!! After that, she came in second in almost every comp she was in, and then pulled wins when she needed to, even having to go up against every single HG in the comp to get the win wit the snake eye comp!

    She has easily proven that she deserves to win this thing by being a serious competitor, or have people forgotten those seconds and wins?? It's like I'm reading BBDish or something... Ugh, I am having to defend Porsche at this point!

    And Rachel.... Why must I have to feel like she deserves to win this thing too? WHY?? Because she does. And forget all that "I've had to fight to be here, on the block 25 times but I am still here," bullshit. She is only there now because CBS intervened to save Jordan, and she was collateral, uh, damage. Because idiot Jeff totally took "finding ginormous clown shoes" and made it into a mockery when they gave him the shoes right on top, and right on top he chucked one over the side, totally blind to it, and then he ran back while it SHINED like a headlight outside of the bin there, he kept looking for it inside, where it was obvious nothing was in there! As finding the shoes was the point of the game, Porsche's win is well-deserved! God, Jeff's an idiot! And a homophobe, and a bully, and a liar, and a coward, and a whiny-ass little baby, yelling at people instead of crying!

    And Kalia played a great game too, until she was smeared on the tracks by the CBS JJ Star-fuck express. She won comps, she stayed under the radar enough to survive the Golden Keys WITH her partner still in the game, which was amazing, BUT, bless her heart, she was bullied by the Jeff-hole and never ever recovered fully from that HOH. But, again, she would likely be there if not for CBS's love for JJ.

    Adam, Jordan and Jeff did fuck-all to stay in this game, Jeff even being instrumental in his own alliance members leaving! Only after most of the major competitors were gone did Adam win anything AT ALL and then won that Otev thing because, again, Porsche had a brain-fart, similar to the Crystal comp. It's still a win for Adam, I get that, but really it was a loss for Porsche more than a win for Adam. And Jeff gave him that one Veto earlier, and JJ took money, as usual, instead of fighting for their own alliance, again and again.

    JJ are not sweethearts, they are one big huge douche-hole and his avid, vapid, woman, well, she's just a girl really, let's face it. I am so glad they are gone and I wish that CBS would make on more twist, and NOT LET THEM VOTE!

    That's my two cents' worth, or a dollar and a half, whichever...

  11. I would gladly see Rachel go, the worse woman I have ever seen, and he deserves her. Can you imange taking her to a big event. Send her to Vegas to make some money on her back.

  12. Big Brother gets more predictable every year. Newbies watch out for the twist and turns. There all geared to keep the vet's in the house. Yes, CBS we noticed that, but did you (CBS) notice that your losing more and more viewers. Everything about the show is a dud. The HOH and veto comp's ..... boring. The have not and slop .... boring. "Who wants to see my HOH room?" I don't ever want to hear that again or "This veto meeting is now adjourned." It's so scripted. Americas choice!? America did you notice anything you would choose? I didn't. The cast can't help there not entertaining. CBS only allows them to sit around the house. They have to watch everything they say and do. Nobody want's to see that. Come on CBS, get a clue and do not air this same crap next year. I'm glad this season is just about over.

  13. I agree with comment above about Porche she not getting enough credit I will admit i laughed& poke fun of her just like guests in house did.

    Porche won 2 huge Povs 1 on Double eviction& 1 in F4 them povs where the most important ones in this season IMO


    If Pandoras box didnt hand out a DPOV last year I would call her a idiot for opening it but since BB did that I cant see anybody not opening it.

    J&J shunned her cuz they simply didnt like her I didnt see her really give a reason otherwise but she was just silly Jeff said he doesnt talk to her & felt like it was going to bite him the ass& it did hard! lol

  14. I can't believe I'm saying this, but Rachel better win Big Brother. The others SUCK.

  15. I think the 1st problem was ED leaving.... Ed would have changed the dynamics and wouldn't have stood for BS.

    Kalia, thank God is gone... stupid stupid stupid.... & what was in your mind voting out your own alliance.

    Dani, Oh Dani, I had high hopes. You and your Dad... Idk what happened to you or if I just realized it now... but your just a spoiled rotten brat.

    Shelly, I can't deal with you or your game play and am THRILLED you went out.

    J & J, yes I love you guys... and I see the changes in you both.... whether you're a real couple is irrelevant. Are you too super close friends... quite possible because you def. know each other...

    Adam, Porsche... You did nothing... nothing... I can't take it.... I'm trying to find reasons to want you to win, but there aren't any.... to have you be in final 3 sickens me...

    Brendon, gag. enough said.

    So, that leaves me with Rachel, who I have always hated. Who whines, cries fake tears, never met a mirror she didn't love... I hope she beats the living crap out of them. I hope she gets the half a mil and dumps Brendon and blows it all on plastic surgery... Idc... She at least competes!!!!! She is the only one last night who didn't look like a freaking fool on an endurance...WTF happened to the 6 hrs comps where you pissed your pants or puked but you still hung on... PLEASE!!!! What a shitty endurance to boot... GRR to AG and CBS...

    Fix the damn show... actually interview people... Stop meddling in the flipping game... remember game... not lets help this one or that one... fair, honest ... game... Full of lying, cheating, manipulating the honest way!! ha!!

  16. Big Brother ruined BB13. Kalia et al made some critical mistakes, but we wouldn't be where we are without production f'ing it all up. I swear they've fixed games, possibly rigged America's vote, all with an eye of sustaining this totally stupid vet v. newbie twist. Without our Big Brother's stupid interventions, we'd have a decent game.

  17. Agree that Kalia made stupid game-changing moves, but let's not forget about Shelly. Shelly and Kalia are neck and neck in poor game play.


  18. Yes, yes, and YES! Ms LaLa, I agree with everything you've said. It's like we have the same brain. Your ESPN must be working overtime. Or YOU are the much-maligned Madame Broella.

    As for this "game," I am ECSTATIC  that the golden-haired lunk head has gone off to the Hell-hole known as jury house. Now she "got a lot of 'splaineeng to do" to Jeff-off about why she didn't bring home the bacon. Oh, if CBS would show THAT conversation. But THAT might further tarnish Kim Jeff Il's image.

    Was it just me, or did Jordunce look alternately bitchy and stupid in her exit interview? Her rude dismissal of Porsche as a bikini-wearing mega-napper wasn't "keeping it sweet and classy," as her kool-aid swilling fans proclaim. Then she failed to answer any of the Chen-Bot's other inquiries. Blood will out, I guess.

    And would you care to comment, Colette, on the hysteria sweeping the JeJo fan chat rooms that Porsche should be prosecuted for the "Benefiber Incident?" I am actually flabbergasted at the level to which their lock-step allegiance to insanity goes. And to the (why are they **always**) Anonymous poster who spewed her or his gloopy brown JeJo love all over LaLa's beautiful glittery blog, THANKS. YOU made my point. The very fact that you can't even give Porsche the credit she is due for besting Kim Jeff Il AND for competing AND winning under extreme pressure makes me wonder what the hell does that friggin' Kool-aid taste like?? Rainbows? Love? My word!!

    I was trying to count the jury votes and, while I do want Porsche to win, I think it's an uphill battle under all permutations. The Red Devil would have been a shoe-in had she followed Porsche's example a bit closer and spent more time UNCONSCIOUS. I sire would have enjoyed the season more. 

    Well, thanks for the memories. Go Porsche Go! And Roll Tide. 

  19. I can't stand some of these "fans" of the game on other sites who think that Adam and Jordan are good players b/c they made it to final 4. Talk about not understanding the concept of the game.

    These two weren't throwing comps...they literally couldn't win anything. Fact. They were non factors and non threats.

    Nominating those 2 would be like nominating the fish in the fish tank.

    Are the fish in the fishtank eligible for America's favorite? Hmmmm....

    Makes a mockery of the game.

    I want a Porsche / Rachel final 2.

    Adam dropping after 20 minutes reminded me of Enzo falling off the rope after 12 minutes in last season's final HOH. Both times I said:"WHAAAAT????".

  20. Lovin' the blogs!

    Ugh, I wish Dani was still around. Rachel/Dani on the Mixer would've been amazing.

    I'm going to get bashed for this, but the one positive about Kalia's horrible first HOH? Dani was able to stop Kalia from putting up Porsche. Kalia's HOH did help with Dani's downfall, but in turn allowed Porsche to stay and she ended up being the one to eliminate Jeff/Jordan from the game. If Porsche does walk away with 500K or 50K, she should treat Dani to something nice, cause if it weren't for Dani, Porsche would be gone.

    Finally, as for Vegas. I Have a feeling we'll be hearing about Dani popping Dom's Cherry, I can see it happening for sure :-p

  21. Wow Lala i just found your blog and Im loving it!
    Its nice to finally find a blog with fans that are NOT rooting for Jejo.
    I also agree with most stated but I have to stand up for my girls Kalia and Porsche,Considering what they had to work they really did not do that bad,Also when Kalia made her first Hoh she was bullied by Jefff and then Dani was all in her ear and pretty much took over the hoh,(and this is why there should not have been a newbie vs vet twist)and dont get me wrong i have much respect for Dani because she was the only one not afraid to stand up to Jeff but as far as K and P I think they worked well together,and after dani left we finally saw them both really step up and do some real game play and talking strategy and if not for CBS getting involved with the Pandoras Box(to keep rach and jordan)in the game,Kalia and Porsche would have easily made it to final 2.
    Overall i am sooo glad that Jordan is NOT winning again!

  22. I do very hard to bit my tongue cuz people have right to opinions but this talk of sweet sweet Jordan is on the feeds & off is beyond nuts.

    Thinks it just so crazy that when jeff&jordan lied in game&backstabbed(which they did& think they backstabbed Brendon big time in my eyes) was praised as good gameplay which I agree but dare another guest look at J&J wrong or backstabb they are the worst person/player in the world! Is beyond ridiculous

    I liked jeff& think he played better this season but dont sugarcoat his actions He was a prick& Jordan & her hissy fits cuz they lost them 3 weeks where absurd

    Jordan & her judgements of Porche came to a little bit of surprise to me considering how she won in her season Jordan& jeff both didnt do much in there season till the end but want to pick on Porche come on now really! If they played hard in season 11 I could see their point but they have no room to judge about waking up late in the game when they did same thing their first time to play


  23. you're welcome Lala, hope the five bucks goes to more glitter or something lol :P

  24. Hi, I've enjoyed your post. However, first paragraph, I believe you meant to type *too* ladylike and not "to ladylike". You should fix this simple grammatical error or you might look like a noob.

  25. Oops. I'll fix it as soon as I'm at a computer. Thanks.

  26. Not the parrot head... anyone but the parrot head or adam... Hell, for that matter, even Chevette. How the hell did we end up with these 3 in the house at this point. WTF! I really hope things turn out better next year.

  27. Bye the way Lala, I just discovered you this season and I am crazy psycho nutz for ya! You Rock!

  28. I hate the way Adam crunches up his ugly hook nose and paces when he talked to the girls all kissing his ass. Like he's a pimp and they are his army of hoes. I'm sure this is the most female attention he's ever gotten in his life. His girl friend just looks like a female version of himself.
    Useless sack of super fan shit!

  29. I'll send you some love for whatever you want: glitter, gin, dildos, (did I spell that right?). I'm sick about the final 3 ... hell, about the whole season!
    The person who said they were shocked at people's reaction to the Benefiber was right on. I was on one of those sites and tried to explain that the worst effects might be the runs for a time or two on the stool but that's it. I was told I knew nothing. I'm an RN and I beg to differ. But there was no changing their fucked up minds.
    See all you guys on Bitchy Survivor!

  30. OK, I know I am gonna piss a lot of people off with this but here it goes.

    A few weeks ago I did not like Adam or Camaro and certainly did not want either one of them or Big Red to win but here's the thing about Adam. Jordan kept going into the DR and saying how much we need Adam and we need him to vote this way and that way. They had plenty of times to evict him but they didn't because they needed him. So now that they kept him so that they could use him for his vote all this time, they are all bitching that he doesn't deserve to be there.

    BULLSHIT! He does deserve to be there because they all kept him there. Dani kept saying he needed to make big moves. Well look where Dani is after making her big moves. Dani kept saying to Adam, "If you get to the end and the jury asks you, what big moves did you make, what can you say?" Apparently he didn't have to make any big moves cuz those stupid vets were more concerned about screwing each other and they let Adam stay.

    The same thing with Firebird. They gave her the Golden key and let her sleep and eat for the first 4 weeks. Then after that they kinda forgot about her and were more focused on screwing each other over and Accord was left to just kinda hang out and suntan all day.

    Jeff said to Civic on like day 60 (or something like that) you haven't talked game to me in 60 days and now you want to come talk to me? Well Mr. High and mighty why didn't you keep her on the block and fucking evict her ass then? Instead he was more concerned about screwing Dani over and used the POV on Chevette to take her off the block and Back doored Dani.

    So now that these guys are in the final 3 those vets have no place to bitch about the fact that Adam and Bronco are still there.

    Then stupid ass Trailblazer chooses to evict dunce ball Jordan and keep Rachel in the game just moments before they were to go out and compete in an endurance comp. Who didn't see Rachel winning that one coming? She should have evicted Rachel and then Durango could have won that 1st comp. You knew Adam and Jordan weren't gonna be able to win that endurance comp. But Rachel? That was made for her. Rachel hasn't ever lost an endurance that she was allowed to play in. That was a no brainer. I don't care what kind of friends they are or whatever. You don't keep the endurance queen in the game just moments before you are to go out and compete in an endurance comp and send home the biggest marshmallow instead.

    I hate Rachel with every fiber of my being but if she makes it to final 2 then good for her if she gets the votes. I say if you have the chance to send the biggest threat packing and you choose to keep her there then more power to her.

    So at this point I don't give a rats ass who wins. They all have their reasons for ending up there and no 1 is more deserving then the other 2. Or maybe it's no 2 are less deserving than the other 1?

  31. Send the dumb waitess, Porsch back to night job where she can sleep while serving drinks - what a bitch!

  32. @ Kandeekane: You won't piss me off. Everything you said was worth consideration.
    @ Anon 2:44: Nothing you said was worth consideration.
    @ Leochild: You entertain me and I breath a sigh of relief when I read one of your posts that doesn't contain the C word. LOL
    @ Dan, Pat, Alisha, Stephanie, Sausagefingers, Barefootdrunk, Lance, and many more, you are fun and interesting.
    @ Cellulitis: I'm glad you didn't start your own blog. You are fun here.
    @ Big Rick: A little Vaseline on that circumcision keeps the dressing from sticking. :-)
    Love you Ms.Lala. You made another season of BB worth hanging in there for and your wit and humor keep us laughing and wondering "where does she get this shit????"

  33. The season sucked since Evil Dick left oh that was the first week! Rachel is an unbearable crazy bitch please don'tet her win WTF is Brandon doing with her?

  34. @QK

    And you entertain me.
    FYI,I hang out at huffpo

  35. So, Leochild, just one liberal to the other???? Or might you be blowing smoke? ;0

  36. Love your blog, Lady Lala<3 - see you for Survivor!!! To all the spelling and grammar nazis out there - YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT!!!! @QK - :)

  37. @Pat G ~ LOL, that's not uncommon for me. Isn't huffpo the Huffington Post? Okay, I'm embarrassed, what is it?

  38. I like Adam. He is a normal, regular guy. Not an actor/model like Cassi, Porsche, Dominic and Dani. Every year BB fans cry foul when these model/actors show up on our feeds. This year they gave us a real guy and he wasn't good enough. I hope all of you non-actor/models lose 100 pounds, leave your glass houses and get on BB. I will be poised to criticize your every move.

    As for Cowleeah, I don't like her and never have. Blackie Collins indeed! (Don't get mad at me - that's the name of her pointless and poorly written blog.) She was constantly chewing, singing and talking, thereby ruining the feeds. But I agree that she made the season's biggest mistake by putting up Lawon. But let us give credit where credit is due: Shelly. She convinced Cowleeah to put up Lawon.

    Shelly is the reason a lot of things went right and went wrong this season. And it was highly entertaining at the JH when she told Jeff "I'm smarter than you think I am." And he immediately zinged her with "I guess not." To use one of Dani's ten vocabulary words: Awkward! Those sure were good times.

    I hope Rachel wins the final HOH evicts Miata. Then Rachel can win and Adam will at least take home $50,000 for talking to us on the feeds almost every night.

    Thanks for the great blog!

  39. @QK - lol - I'm sorry - my post was unclear. The "YOUR MISSING THE POINT" was not meant for you - it was meant for the spelling and grammar nazis. As far as the 'huffpo' - I haven't got a clue!!

  40. This is the most anti climatic Big Brother finale ever. Even more so than All Stars when Janelle and will left and we were subjected to genital warted Mike Boogie and witch faced Erika.

    I like Porsche but I don't love her. She didnt do a lot the first six weeks, then did some stuff, then let Adam do stuff she should have been doing.

    Rachel is vile. There's nothing good about her game. Even her tenacity and competitiveness is laced with psychosis.

    Of course Adam is the worst final 3 participant in Big Brother history. If she sniffs any of the cash, this season is a colossal failure.

    I am cheering for Porsche. I liekd her right a way. But when she watches her Big Brotehr season, she'll regret some stuff regardless of her bank account.

    At least Jeff and Jordan are being dumb in the jury house. Rick and Elsa may have always had Paris (Casablanca reference for you children) but Jeff and Jordan will always have ignorance.

  41. Everyone forgets that Porsche had a golden key and couldn't play as long as ducklips could.

  42. Shelly is a slimy, two-faced, wannabe, BITCH!


  43. Shelly must be going to sleep with horse face. What a miss carrage off justice to let Rachel even be on the show.

  44. ...andd btw what the heck was Porsche wearing?? That was one zoogly dress. Noted throughout,she has NO taste in clothes.


  45. ...miss carrage off justice...
    No wait, stop, you're killing me!

  46. LaLa. Aren't you going to write a final column and recap of the bb finale?

  47. Lala, Final thoughts please.


  48. Please finish what you started Lala. Recap!

  49. @rumpole: I think she gave up on BB this season lol

  50. Who would blame her for giving up on this suck hole of a season!!

  51. yes, we are waiting, like BIGcolettelala addicts for your recap and juicy gossip re vegas finale.