Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Butt Cheek Grab!
I know I'm on vacation, but I'm making an exception for tongues dancing in the night. The way I hate bubblegum skip to my loo romances is of a direct inverse proportion to how much I love naughty illicit diddling dalliances. Be it Jessie, Lydia, Natalie, or Matt, when it's in secret... I'm all for it! And when it's in secret in the broad fluorescent light, even better.
I'll be honest, I have no idea what preceded this. I'm hearing there was a date or something. Whatever.
So Frank and Ashley are in the HOH room talking about this and that. Ashley coos and begins to play with Frank's hair. Frank asks, "Are yew playin' wit mah herr?" Ashley giggles yes. Frank tells her that she has to help him fix that wretched mop on his head for Thursday's show. Ashley says, "Danielle was so pissed off she didn't get interviewed by Julie Chen." Frank says, "She was pissed off by what the Zingbot said." Then we get fish.
The feeds click back on and we get this! Say what now? Where the hell did that come from?
They do a little more smooching before Frank grabs her ass and shouts, "Butt cheek grab!"
Then he falls back into a mess of chortles. Ashley giggles and mutters, "So bad." I was hoping she was talking about Frank's nasty ass tongue in her mouth, but she meant that making out on TV is "so bad." Then she says, "They do it on The Bachelor." Frank replies, "Yeah, on the rag! And with multiple people!" Oh Frank, you charmer you. Frank then says, "Well, this was a nice lil date!" Ashley giggles, "I had fun!" Yes, Ashley, you did have fun. Now be sure to snort whatever it is you snorted last night again tonight, because I'm not giving up on my dream of a BB baby. Any spawn from Rachel, Brendon, Jeff, or Jordan won't count because it was be called Damien and it will live in the corn. You Ashley, and only you, can give me the bastard BB child out of wedlock that I've wanted since the beginning of time. Don't let me down.
So, kind of a nutty night, right? What do you think of this little swapping spit session? Is Frank using Ashley? Does Ashley even care? Will they build a love tent today? How will CBS explain this after their phony fake Ian/Ashley footage? Will Ian stim himself into a dizzified mess? Comment it out bitches and have a great day!