Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Butt Cheek Grab!

I know I'm on vacation, but I'm making an exception for tongues dancing in the night. The way I hate bubblegum skip to my loo romances is of a direct inverse proportion to how much I love naughty illicit diddling dalliances. Be it Jessie, Lydia, Natalie, or Matt, when it's in secret... I'm all for it! And when it's in secret in the broad fluorescent light, even better.

I'll be honest, I have no idea what preceded this. I'm hearing there was a date or something. Whatever.

So Frank and Ashley are in the HOH room talking about this and that. Ashley coos and begins to play with Frank's hair. Frank asks, "Are yew playin' wit mah herr?" Ashley giggles yes. Frank tells her that she has to help him fix that wretched mop on his head for Thursday's show. Ashley says, "Danielle was so pissed off she didn't get interviewed by Julie Chen." Frank says, "She was pissed off by what the Zingbot said." Then we get fish.

The feeds click back on and we get this! Say what now? Where the hell did that come from?

They do a little more smooching before Frank grabs her ass and shouts, "Butt cheek grab!"

Then he falls back into a mess of chortles. Ashley giggles and mutters, "So bad." I was hoping she was talking about Frank's nasty ass tongue in her mouth, but she meant that making out on TV is "so bad." Then she says, "They do it on The Bachelor." Frank replies, "Yeah, on the rag! And with multiple people!" Oh Frank, you charmer you. Frank then says, "Well, this was a nice lil date!" Ashley giggles, "I had fun!" Yes, Ashley, you did have fun. Now be sure to snort whatever it is you snorted last night again tonight, because I'm not giving up on my dream of a BB baby. Any spawn from Rachel, Brendon, Jeff, or Jordan won't count because it was be called Damien and it will live in the corn. You Ashley, and only you, can give me the bastard BB child out of wedlock that I've wanted since the beginning of time. Don't let me down.

So, kind of a nutty night, right? What do you think of this little swapping spit session? Is Frank using Ashley? Does Ashley even care? Will they build a love tent today? How will CBS explain this after their phony fake Ian/Ashley footage? Will Ian stim himself into a dizzified mess? Comment it out bitches and have a great day!

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  1. Yuuuuuuuuccccckkkkkk!!!!! My eyes!!! The horror!!!

  2. But Frank stinks! Ew. I bet his breath smells like old spinach and powershakes. Yuck.

    Of course Frank is using Ashley - it's in Boogie's Chilltown: The Sequel handbook. Ashley's probably high as a kite so she doesn't care.

    To each his own I guess. They're totally gonna end up doin' it under a love tent. I give them 5 days max before some heavy petting and panting starts happenin'.

  3. Classic example of using the wrong head to make decisions, let the mophead do the thinking Frank not the bald one!
    Cheers, sausage

  4. I can't believe you didn't blog about Danielle telling the house she likes to have her bunghole licked! hahaha!

    I could only admit anonymously that until now I thought Frank was a cutie pie and I would totally date him but now that he's made out that that blitzed out idiot, Ashley, I find him completely repulsive. I hate when that happens.

  5. The horror...

    The horror...

    Does anyone else feel just a little bad for Ian? Not because he had a snowball's chance in hell with Ashley, but rather because now he's going to have a legitimate reason to mope around and make that face he always does?

  6. I think I just threw up a little...

  7. Ya gotta give it to the guy. He is certainly confident. Just sitting there talking and he simply says..''ya wanna go make out on the couch for awhile''


    I'm surprised Danielle's head didn't start spinning around in the backyard.

    I will be very curious if CBS shows us this. This is the first genuine ''show-mancy'' thing to happen.

  8. I'm kind of ok with the frank ashley thing. I have no idea why....and I'm sure me being ok with it won't last.

  9. While this disgusted and made me wish I could un-see things with a click of a button; I couldn't NOT look.

    I agree. This was chilltown's move from a hundred years ago, and Boogie probably told Frank to do it. Ashley must be dumb as hell. I would not want Frank's mouth anywhere near my person ever. "Give me five feet, you stank ass BITCH!" would be the only thing I ever had to say to him in the house. That would be our only conversation. He looks like he smells. LOOKS. I have never smelled his smells, but he looks so damn nasty. His mouth makes me want to spray myself with disinfectant, and use hand sanitizer as mouth wash.

    I hope you get that little Big Brother Bastard though LaLa. I'll pray for it Bitch.

  10. I stand by what i said your the facebook, Colette and the twitter. I think ashley is secretly this genius performance artist who's playing everyone, like a modern day reality show Nina Hagen.

    does this mean CBS will manipulate the game to keep Ian and Ashley in it for fake relationship fake drama fakeness?


  11. Does anyone remember early in the season in the BY Ash sitting w/Dan & the discussion they had? She was very articulate & had some recommendations about a computer program she used, or something technical that impressed Dan. She spoke very clearly & not at all ditzy. (Leads me to believe she really is quite smart.) And, she went to Penn State-which Ian was impressed about as it's hard to qualify for admission.
    P.S. Frank's favorite saying is "On the reg." which means, on the regular. I think these make out sessions will move to the love tent & be 'on the reg'

  12. I thought it was kind of - ewwww

    But seriously, I have no idea where this came from. Frank and Ashley don't even seem to talk much at all and suddenly they have a date?

    I honestly think Ashley was just bored so after a couple beers and a half bottle of wine she was like "Ok, whatever. I applied to be on a dating show before I ended up here anyway".

    Feel a little bad for Ian. He really likes her but she just doesn't take him seriously as mating material.

  13. Seriously folks, Ashley finds herself in an alliance with two half-dudes, one of whom is about to go out the door and the other will never win anything. What is a gal to do? Use what she knows she's got to try and buy herself a few extra weeks in hopes the "big targets" will start going after each other. She left the set of a porn film to come here, you think she does not know sex sells?? So pick the biggest dude in the house, all the easier if he is the type of dude who would do a tree if it walked into his HOH room, and give him a reason to want to keep you in the house. Easy peasy little ass squeezy no biggie. Only problem is this will not ever carry one to the final 2, final 3 maybe, but unless you beat the dude in a comp or two you've not sold yourself for anything more than jury, which you probably had made anyway.

  14. Wish I knew not to eat lunch before reading that. :D