Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Welcome To The Club Enzo!


Occasionally, I like to pick people for the pledge class of the Worst People On The Planet Club. I feel it's my moral duty to sweep these miscreants away so they can no longer do anymore harm to this beautiful place I like to call Earth. It's a very Michael Jackson This Is It thing I do where I like to dance and sing about pretty rain forests as well as scream and grab my crotch over the bulldozers ruining them. Now, I'm not perfect (although I'm damn close), but I know the difference between right and wrong, good and evil, delightful and crazy, and sweet and sour. Some current members of the Worst People On The Planet Club are Ass Licker, Rachel Reilly, Teresa Giudice, Alison Grodner, Joran Van Der Sloot, Michael Vick, Spencer Pratt, Tila Tequila, and whomever is currently beating me at Words With Friends (yes, I hate you all). It's important to call out these people for their wrongdoings and make examples of them. If I had things my way I'd chain these vile creatures to a fence and then unleash a bunch of rabid dogs and raccoons and let the bloodbath begin, but, as that's probably not legal and a total bitch to clean up, I'll just stick to naming names in this here little blog.


I spent yesterday down in my laboratory mixing all sorts of fascinating chemicals together and I think I've come up with the newest member of the Worst People On The Planet Club. He's an open mouth eater, a highfalutin talker, a butcher of the English language, and an utterer of homophobic slurs. Enzo Palumbo, welcome to the club! You'll find your membership card, some rusty nails, and a high powered staple gun in your orientation packet. Please put the card in your wallet, jam the rusty nails up your nose, and then at your earliest convenience begin to staple yourself in your most sensitive of areas. In a few days Sepsis should set in and then you'll no longer be a problem to the universe.


If you're unsure as to why you've been given this honor, allow me to outline it for you.



#1 You eat like a fucking pig. You're a 30-something year old father and when you eat anything from slop to beef jerky, precious woodland creatures seek shelter in nearby forests in order to escape the excruciatingly painful noises your mouth produces. You have an uncanny ability to smack a tiny piece of food into a slishy sloshy dance of putrid vileness. You should know that feedsters find your eating habits to be so objectionable that they automatically mute or change the channel whenever you're within 10 yards of the kitchen. I don't know if Dr. Drew has a facility for people like you, but please, I beg of you, go somewhere and seek help for your disgusting habit. My sympathy goes out to your poor wife who has to deal with this on a daily basis. Do all the restaurants in New Jersey have a photo of you in the window and a sign underneath it that reads, "DO NOT SERVE THIS MAN"? You're like a monkey in a zoo - the public shouldn't be allowed to feed you.



#2 You will never be famous. You chose to go on a summer reality show where you're every move (repulsive and offensive) is monitored and analyzed. Not one person has been able to parlay this experience into a career of monumental fame and fortune. If you're lucky, you'll get to do porn and maybe write a blog giving your opinion on future seasons. You'll have a few months where you can attend a charity gig or two, put some of your shit on eBay, and then maybe fly to Seattle to do a dimly lit basement interview with Chelsia. Other than that, you'll be a distant memory to the general CBS viewing public. Sure, the nutty overzealous fans who live for this shit will tweet you constantly and beg you to follow them, but James Cameron isn't going to be calling you anytime soon and Scorsese does not want your input on his new HBO series. No one will buy your silly catch phrase t-shirts (just ask Captain Kosher how his sales are going) and your bar tour will only happen if the 3 or 4 desperate BB hangers-on fans fund it by driving you everywhere themselves.


Big Brother is simply a wonderful and unique experience that you were lucky to be a part of. Only the very likable and charismatic (Jeff, Kevin, Lydia, Janelle, Will, and probably Kristen and Ragan) are able to supplement their incomes with BB side projects that are worthwhile (Sorry, but porn doesn't count Ass Licker). If you can give awareness to some charities, great! Just remember that "Enzo Palumbo" is not a charity. There are far more important causes and/or talented people more deserving of dollars than you. Raise your daughter, be a good father, and learn how to chew with your mouth closed - that's my advice for a successful future.



#3 You are a homophobic asshole. When you're sitting around making idle chitchat and you wonder where Ragan might be, saying he's off somewhere sticking a bottle up his ass simply because he's gay might not be the most intelligent of remarks. In fact it's insulting, childish, and offensive. The shit you say isn't funny and I've noticed that in the house those off color remarks are almost always met with silence. Even Lane and Hayden (not the brightest bulbs in the tanning bed) know that your comments are questionable. Ragan is ten times the man you'll ever be Enzo. He's funnier, smarter, and has more charisma in his pinky toe than you do in your entire body. I don't know if your comments stem from pure hatred or are simply lame attempts at being funny. Either way, they're unappreciated and you've managed to piss off a whole slew of BB fans. Well done.



#4 You suck, yo. For almost 90 days now, I've watched you let other people take risks and do the dirty work for you. You've spent countless hours talking and wishing and hoping that you'll win something yet you never exerted the effort to make it happen. You threw comps, avoided confrontation, and idly sat by while others figured out strategy and made power moves. When it finally came time for you to actually apply yourself and try to win something, feedsters were forced to listen to you make profound statements like "We need to win this yo" and "I can feel it. This HOH is ours yo." You're the only person I know to have a negative effect on the Law of Attraction. It's like in Dead Poets Society when Robin Williams tells that one kid he's the only person to get a negative score on the Pritchard Scale. It's as if the more you talked, the more the universe turned it's head and said, "No, thank you."



#5 You got lucky and I'm damn mad about it. It kills me that you managed to get as far as you did. Worse still, CBS is giving you a decent edit and America's Favorite still isn't out of the question. These facts coupled with my own bitterness over having to stomach you for the past 10 weeks has made me very very angry. If you walk away with any of the prize money, I'm locking myself in my basement and shoving bamboo shoots under my nails. It'll be like that time when Keesha won the $25,000. I still haven't recovered from the self-inflicted appendicitis. I thought bleach and Pepto-Bismol would do the trick. All it did was give me cramps and make my pee a pretty neon pink color. When undeserving people like you and Bristol Palin get rewarded with fat checks, I become a danger to myself and society and no one, not even my precious white doggie is safe. I dyed her black as a symbol of my mourning for BB12 and she's staining my sheets now. My legs are covered in black streaks and I look like a swamp person. Thanks Enzo, thanks.


Well, I heard somewhere that the Feeds are going to be down for a while due to tomorrow's eviction. That means no blog tomorrow and a big naughty party at my place. If you guys can bring me some new sheets and some exfoliating mitts, I'd be very appreciative. The theme of this party is going to be Sons Of Anarchy in honor of the premiere tonight so bring your leather and your tattoo guns. I plan of marking each and every one of you with a "LALA WAS HERE" tat by the end of the night.


So, how much will you hate your lives if Enzo wins anything whatsoever? After Britney leaves, who do you want to win the entire season? If I drink Raid mixed with Febreze on finale night, will my senses be dulled enough to stomach the presentation of the check? Comment it out bitches and have a great day!


If you've enjoyed what I've done here this season (the blood, sweat, and tears), please click on my PayPal button and show your girl some love. Thanks bitches!

63 comments:

  1. Will you marry me?
    THAT'S MAH GIRL!!
    RIGHT ON SISTA-FRIEND.. RIGHT ON. XOXOX Peah

    ReplyDelete
  2. no truer words were ever spoken

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  3. Once Britney is gone, Russian roulette should determine the outcome.

    This blog is the only reason why I have any awareness of what is happening on BB12 at this point. With Ragan gone, I just don't care anymore. I love Britney, but I do not have the wherewithal or masochistic tendencies to subject myself to nightly three-hour horrors of After Dark..what with those three uninteresting buffoons playing pool & Enzo sounding like Hannibal Lecter when he eats (at least the hands-down-the-pantness has been quelled with Matt's departure....?). It is quite sad. I no longer check the Big Brother application on my phone for updates or even glance at a single message board post. I have been thankful that I resisted the urge (read: paid my electric bill instead) to purchase the live feeds. What a ridiculous waste that would have been.

    A month ago, I was trying to figure out, "Ohno, what will I do after September?! I spend HOURS with these people every day! I will miss them!" ... Now, I just think that I'll miss these posts. Thank you for this. I'd rather pay to read this snarkybitchy goodness than have the stupid live feeds.

    SAVE THE WOODLAND CREATURES!

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  4. Now THAT's what I'm talkin' about! A real fitting tribute to da man! Thank you for putting it out there loud & clear. What a douchebag wannbe. Delusional.

    Sending you a whole case of Barkeeper's Friend cleanser for your legs & sheets. You deserve to shine!

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  5. Just getting into BB this season... your blog is hillarious but who the hell was ass licker???

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  6. wow... what a fuckin stupid person people like you really derserve to just disappear I honestly couldnt care less about the whole big brotehr thing because it is a SHOW and a GAME the fact you are this upset makes it obvious you are the opposite of this almost perfect person you claim to be, so in conclusion, just stop making blog and never ever talk to anyone again

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  7. HaHaHaHaHa. This is why I love this blog. This one was great. I just donated. Lala, you light up my life (humming softly under breath while scratching cats).

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  8. Hey, it looks like Enzo's posting on your site (see the 2:02 pm comment). It's got the use of swear words, the bad grammar, ignorance and even the delusions of importance of BB that is consistent with Enzo. I guess while CBS blocked feeds, production used the opportunity to stop all pretense of fairness and allowed the bra-gade to use the internet.

    I'd also like to add Enzo's misogynistic slurs to your list. Since live feeds are blocked by the bastards at BB, I'll spend some time searching for these slurs and come back and post in the comments.

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  9. Must be Enzo's wifey up there. ^^

    Are you going to take her advice and "stop making blog"? I hope not. I think those of us with common sense and a sense of humor enjoy it.

    I drank Raid mixed with Febreze once. I blacked out for a bit and afterward I had a terrible headache, but I smelled fantastic.

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  10. @ previous Anon post: Lol. It is a show and a game, you are right. Lala, writes the best blog, hands down, about said show. What got your panties in a bunch? Are you Enzo's Mom?

    Keep up the good work, Lala. Great blog. I'm kind of enjoying the fact that Enzo thinks he is going to be famous. Can't wait for him to figure out no one wants to cast him in any movies.

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  11. to the 2:02 anonymous, um, person - have you not read any of her previous blogs? This is well written humour. Since you're into criticism, should we point out the spelling and punctuation errors in your post?

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  12. since i don't subscribe to the feeds, or showtime, i have never actually witnessed enzo eating. at this point i HAVE to see it. even two girls and a cup never swayed me to actually watch the video, but ENZO EATING IS A MUST SEE in my imagination at this point. can someone please post a video of this vile act and direct me to it? i HAVE TO HAVE IT!

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  13. wow "anonymous @ 2:02" (the new name of my band btw.) be careful whose blog you randomly choose to attack.

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  14. Sooo, Anonymous Angry person, why did you bother to read this entire blog if you are not into BB? This blog is meant to be funny, and it is funny. If you didn't like it...why did you keep reading, and comment on it? I'm just saying, it seems like it would be a waste of your time to do so.

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  15. He will be famous, infamous, for a bit... in that we, like we do ass-licker, will mock each attempt at fame. Each time he attempts to follow those that are actually desired, liked, admired, or funny we'll be there... laughing or wondering why isn't he at home with his "I left my wifey and baby-girl for this, yo" family. Then, after his nose job, chin reduction, pec implants, and full-body electrolysis- interest will wane further, and soon (yes, he will still be talking about he'll make it someday), the next season will start and he'll twitter about how the new hgs aren't making history like he did, yo. Tortured few will read it, but it will be there, it will be posted, as that will be his last claim to fame. Fade to crickets...

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  16. I have this dream, well fantasy really, that while the feeds are down, Hayden will be struck in the head, suddenly come to his senses and use the damn Veto. Britney will be taken off the block and Enzo will be put up and thrown out. sigh... if it could only come to pass.
    Instead I have a feeling I'll be right there beside you on finale night, Lala, drinking a cocktail of Raid and Febreeze (at least our breath will be fresh) and watching Enzo walk away with some cash.
    How sad is that?

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  17. I hate Enzo. I have bitched, gagged, covered my eyes, hit the mute button, left the channel because of him. He is BB's worst nightmare of 12 seasons. He is the most disgusting human being that parades his abhorrent lack of any kind of manners in front of a camera rolling nonstop. He scratches his junks, then eats his food, .... I do not want him to win anything and I want him to leave the BB house and totally understand that he is the plague of BB history and he will never be famous except for his eating habits, his 3 line vocab, his constant F bombs. I cannot imagine how his wife is enduring this. But then again she lives with the man so she has to have known he was going to parade himself in the spotlight. Your blog is right on to every single letter and word. I loved it.

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  18. Great post! I can't stand this self serving idiot. What time he wasn't playing with himself in from of Brit, he was annoying us other ways. I thought Natalie, and a few others were bad, but this stank ass takes the prize. Great goin Enzno, you did it. You've made yourself a number one embarrassment to your family. I bet they(the embarrassed fam) bitch slap you when you walk through the door. If they don't, they are just as stupid as you are. Fricken pig.
    Ragen is more of a man than you'll ever be. He has his integrity still in tact, you don't.

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  19. I wonder what they will show on BBAD tonight?

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  20. At anonymous @ 2:02:
    It is called satire (See Webster's Dictionary for a definition) you imbecile! Is your fragile mind so antediluvian (Better keep that dictionary handy!)that you haven't caught on to that concept yet? Many CE (Again Webster's, do you need a page number?) people enjoy the entertainment. In fact, her blog has been the most entertainment given to fans this season. Now please go bugger your best farm animal and leave Colette alone until your IQ makes it into double digits.
    Most sincerely,
    TallahasseeBBfan (I was until this season anyway)

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  21. Hey CoLa baby i have just about given up on this thing, not even watching any more. Went to Catalina Island this weekend, was kind of hoping the ship would sink but i made it both ways and came back to Hairdone winning POV so my girl is leaving and i can't take it any more. Waiting for Survivor and Broadway Empire. My god one of these idiots is going to have money to spend in the world, boggles the mind what it will be spent on. Lets all drink the coolaid and get this over with. bye baby

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  22. I'm done reading this blog. You can't let me post one simple question wondering what they will show on Big Brother After Dark and you post like 3 days a week, but you want me to give you money? Please...

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  23. Anon at 7:04,

    I've posted every comment that doesn't contain blog links or spam so I'm kind of unsure as to what you're talking about. Sorry, but I'm no one's "errand girl". I've posted over 200 blogs dedicated to Big Brother. Godspeed and good riddance.

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  24. Colette, I went to work absolutely miserable this morning with holiday hangover and then took a quick break and read your gem about Enzo! I love it, laughed out loud, and was so pleased someone more articulate and inventive than I finally said all the things I have been thinking. You made my day. I was so happy I contributed! Can't wait for Survivor and TAR for more bitchy goodness.

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  25. The whole time reading this ridicoulous blog I was hoping I could comment somewhere. First things first, either a girl or a gay dude wrote this, so no matter what I say, probably wont matter, but I'm saying it anyways.

    Enzo is on the worst people on the planet list? A list in which you mentioned Micheal Jackson, but did not have him on the list. LMAO. Stupid.

    Now I also wanna say Im the biggest Enzo fan there is. Im all for Lane and Britney. But Enzo is fucking hilarious. Vulgar may be a bad thing to you but to people with a sense of humor, its awesome.

    And Regan was probably the most annyoing, scrawny, unfunny, parnoid, little fruitball ive ever seen. Fuck him, he lost the veto screamed like a bitch and deserves to be made of for the rest of his life because of it.

    Enzo didnt get lucky either, he created the BRAgade yo! And its funny you have Regan and Kristen on your "cool" list. Cause besides for Rachel, they were the worst characters this season.

    Fuck you.

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  26. This is Anonymous 7:04. Perhaps you missed my post because it was only one sentence. I certainly do not expect anyone to be my "errand girl" and I am sorry you interpeted it that way.

    I generally enjoy your posts and point of view but just have not posted before and maybe didn't realize any protocol. Sorry for any misunderstanding.

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  27. What is with the sudden influx of morons today?!? Go away for fuck's sake.

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  28. UGH what could you have POSSIBLY liked about Kristen Lala??? Her psycho gazes? Capsulized and constricted hard-looking jugs? Infectious personality? Please DO tell! I have no idea how you pick the people you like and dislike?!?? The blacker the heart, the sweeter you think they are? Also, I find it interesting that most of the comments you allow are people who lick YOUR ass saying how you made their morning? I like to people bash as much as the next person, and at first I was one of those people, but the fact that you can't stand Rachel, and are fond of Kristen, Ragan AND Britney appalls me.

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  29. Anon at 7:04,

    What was your question? I've had a lot of "first-timers' today who don't get my satire or what I'm trying to do here. I just assumed you were one of them. I'll try my best to answer it.

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  30. Yeah cuz if we're not in complete agreement with each other we can't commiserate and bitch as one? Whatevs.. I'm not 7:04 btw..

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  31. Anon at 7:49,

    I post each and every comment submitted that doesn't contain spam or self promoting blog links.

    I published your comment, didn't I?

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  32. Some people's children...
    Enzo fans should be castrated and given shock therapy treatment. Better yet, forced to listen to their loud noxious chewing of their food on a repetitive loop for 80 days.

    Someone who can like Enzo and hate Ragan/Kristen/Britney is... ugh. Britney and Ragan, comedic gold. Their witty and well-placed personal digs can be taken as funny, whereas Enzo's "Fucking faggot yo" remarks is just too much.

    Kristen had strategy, tried her HARDEST to stay in the game, and was a player I had tremendous respect for. She stood up to the resident evil in the house (Rachel) and said to her face what everyone was thinking in the DR. Enzo mocked and ridiculed Rachel then acted like they were best friends. At least when Britney did it, she was funny and left distinct hints that she wanted to strangle Rachel with her hair extensions. Enzo floated his way through the game and relied on his team-mate's side alliances to get him through.

    In conclusion, Enzo fans, get bent and stop staying "yo" and stop fondling your junk when people are watching.

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  33. Your fans the assholes, so keep it up!

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  34. Look, I write silly fantastic stories based on Big Brother shenanigans. If you guys don't get that or disagree with me, that's fine. I'll thank you for visiting and go about my day. I'm not here to echo your personal sentiments or reiterate what every other blog/fan thinks. I do my own thing. I always have. This season sucks and I've made no allusions to otherwise. I make due with what I'm given.

    Thanks everyone for making today's blog my most successful of the season... and to think, I didn't even recap a thing. Silly rabbits.

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  35. I have been reading this blog on and off since early in the season, and I guess most people who read your blog and comment completely agree with you. Don't people with negative reactions have more reason and motivation to post than most of these folks who are like, ohh you're so awesome can I lick your ass? Bend over would ya?

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  36. Anon 7:04 again.

    I totally get your sense of humor, and I'm pretty sure what you are doing with your blog. I was only a first time commenter.

    This is the first year I have been reading your blog. And to be totally honest I am profoundly happy that I found it as this season has totally sucked as you have mentioned, and obviously rightly so.

    My question was just a general one that I was hoping you or your usual commenters could answer or was wondering the same. I was wondering what they might show on Big Brother After Dark tonight since there won't be any feeds for the next 24 to 48 hours.

    Seriously though, keep up the good work with the blog please.

    And as for todays blog subject, I agree Enzo sucks! Thanks.

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  37. I meant your fans OUTNUMBER the assholes, I dont know where the rest went.

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  38. I'm not saying any of this because I'm an Enzo fan, 'cause I'm not - he's an idiot. I just think that if you're gonna say why you can't stand Enzo in such in great detail, it would be helpful if you could expound upon why Kristen, Ragan, and Britney made the cool list whether it is based on game play, their behavior and/or personality. It's pretty easy to spot why Enzo is a mega douche.

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  39. Anon at 7:04,

    It's my understanding that they're going to be showing old BBAD's on Showtime tonight. I don't know how far back they plan on going and I haven't fired up the feeds yet today, but I saw some people saying they were showing old BBAD's from Week 1 on Real Player. It's strange they're going back so far. It might throw off some people who only watch Showtime and don't know about the Feeds being blocked.

    That's all the info I have. You might also want to check out onlinebigbrother.com. That's the only other site I really read for information.

    Thanks for stopping by and sorry for the misunderstanding. Kiss kiss, nuzzle nuzzle.

    Colette Lala

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  40. 7:04 one last time this evening I hope,

    Lala, I am terriibly sorry to have apparently started up so much shit tonight! It was not the slighest of intentions.

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  41. Anon at 7:04,

    We're cool.

    Tongue kiss.

    Colette Lala

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  42. Colette, your influx of 1st time commenters, some of whom appear to be suffering from a lack of intelligence and wit, is probably due to the prominent mention and link to your site on today's blog on Online Big Brother. Since the feeds are down, the blog with the link to your site has been up all day. Anon 2:02 or someone like him appears to have posted also a crazy comment about your site on OBB as "rachel's Nipple."

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  43. CoLa ~ I'm pretty impressed you post what you receive. Your blog is different from BBOnline but I read both. Yours provides fantasy, laughter, insight and reason (well usually LOL). BBOL provides up to date with some opinion. Both blogs are good but, Lala, you are always, undoubtedly, good for a laugh and who doesn't need that? I'm not trying to be an ass licker (honestly, I've never shown my tits just because, well, I'm old) but I can't tell you how I look forward to your Survivor blog! I'm now going to PayPal to prove it. Thank you for the season (as shitty as it was). :-)

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  44. crazycatlady & QK,

    You bitches crack me up. You're crazy and you'll flash your tits. Love it. Thanks bitches!

    Anon at 8:44,

    onlinebigbrother.com has been a great supporter of my blog and I know Simon has had to deal with his fair share of nitwits. It's only natural that some will find their way here. Thanks for the heads up. I'll check it out.

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  45. Lala, directly & proportionately to the depths Alison Grodner sinks & in stark contrast you achieve momentous heights in social observation & commentary.

    The only addition to that which you enumerated above is involuntary, immediate & permanent sterilization of Enzo. One mutant is enough.

    My props to Rhyseizure above who actually expanded on my limited solution nicely.

    Hale Lala, you are my bitch!

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  46. I fucking love this blog...and I love that Lala posts negative comments in with the overwhelming positive ones. Say what you want, but this chick has balls!

    And imagination! If you want a play-by-play of events in the house this is not the blog for you. If you want insightful and imaginative commentary, fair and unfair, biased, bitchy, and most of all: FUNNY...welcome...

    Pull up a chair and sit on the floor,
    admission is free, go pay at the door.
    Take off your bra, pour a tumbler of gin...
    cause you don't know the fun for which you are in.

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  47. In addition to the inventive and occasionally insane flights of fancy to which we are treated here in this blog, one of my favorite things about this site are the intelligent, witty and downright fascinating comments of the readers. I also like that fact that spelling and grammar are considered important aspects of both the blog and the comments. Today's influx of weirdness has lowered the tone, but since they clearly don't approve OR understand, they can just move on and leave us to our bitchy fun. I will add that I tried to post during the day twice (shamefully neglecting my proper employment) and neither post went through, so there may be something strange going on today.

    I see Brit has been evicted. The show is over for me. Sigh. I really liked the earlier Russian Roulette comment; way to go yellowcakewalk. Do you think BB would consider this idea?

    I picked my name as a kind of tongue-in-cheek reference to all the cat ladies who love Jeffy-Poo last year, but as I write this, I am shoving cats off the keyboard. At least the are move amenable to shoving than leprechauns and don't take as much revenge when you aren't watching.

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  48. A girl goes away for a couple of days for a long weekend and Lala's comments blow up with foolishness. WTH anons? Did someone let the dumb ones at the asylum on the internet?

    Great blog, AS ALWAYS. Thanks for entertaining us. I seriously couldn't care less who wins. I kind of don't want to watch anymore. But you know what I will do? I'll read your awesomeness of a blog. Keep it coming, girl.

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  49. Ha, just love your blog. Hope Enzo reads it, after he is a big star of course!!
    Kristen, not so much a fav of mine, but Ragan, Love him and I hope he wins the 25k!! Looks like it might be Brit tho. I want to see the look on the stupid Brigades faces when one of them doesnt win the 25k.

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  50. First I have to say I Love your blogs!!! Thanks for your whitty & amusing takes on BB. Enzo totally makes me cringe with the annoying way he eats; the 'yo' has got to go! I get tired of hearin' it yo! However I must admit I'm a fan of Enzo, simply b/c he is such a doe-doe! Atleast he admits he's a donkey.....
    Your blog is the first blog I've read & now the only....You Rock! PeAcE!

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  51. LaLa I just got done reading this and anon 704 bitched about a post? wasn't that her/his post at 5:23?????? People, there is so much better things to do in this world, like pick, flowers, run through meadows and turn computer on everyday to read Cola's blogs!!! I'm so sorry BB blogs over for season, but cant wait for amazing race and survivor! Your blogs make the show so much more interesting to watch. Team=LaLa

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  52. Hi Colette, love your blog. It might be fun if you turned your wit to an analysis of the HOH blogs while bb is blocked. Rachel's is a strange stream that proves our colleges will accept anybody. Britney's shows a strangely distorted view of reality "everybody loves Enzo; he's so funny!" that has me wanting to see her face when she sees that he called her a c*nt zillions of times! I would also like to see your opinion of Lane and his eight second game but I don't think that's a topic for funny snark.

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  53. Lala,

    I never get a tongue kiss, but anon at 7:04 does?

    And this is fair how?

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  54. Anon at 3:15,

    I've done that twice with Rachel's blog. It was an experiment in which brain matter leaked out my ears and I developed a severe drooling problem as a result. I fear I may never fully recover. Drooling isn't exactly a "turn-on" you know.

    I'll try to remember the titles of them and maybe you can look them up.

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  55. Deion,

    I've swung from your ceiling fan, the duct tape is *still* stuck on my ass, and the trampoline at the foot of your bed scarred me for life.

    In other words, we'll tongue kiss on the *next* date.

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  56. Just wanted to get in on the tongue kissing action. I'm a huge fan of Colette on and off the blog! She makes BB fun! Love ya babe! Smooches!

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  57. ugh. Reading about Lane's 8 second "game" was enough to drop him down to most hated HG this season... lower than Rachel!!

    And Enzo's perceptive "Yo, that's almost rape yo!"

    Yep yep it is.

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  58. I love your blog, i have been home sick for the past few weeks and i can say that this is the first time in a long time that i laughed this hard.
    You are talented.
    Whome ever does not get it does not have to read it.My only wish is that Enzo could see it.
    Please make it happen.Love Ya

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  59. Enzo and Danielle Staub are slated to appear at the Grand Opening of a Nail Salon - TIPS 'N' TOES - in Passaic next week. He will be parking cars and she will be doing $5 handys.

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  60. I don't understand why people get on here and hate. If you don't like what you are reading...go to another website!!! I personally love this site, and it makes taking this horrible season of Big Brother alot smoother. If you don't like it, then keep it moving.

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  61. Yo bitch cola - yo
    yo, i just donated, yo, thanks so much yo please promise yo to yo yo you know yo to continue yo please continue to blog yo through these next yo few days yo, okay yo!
    yo wish I could have done more yo, can't handle yo yo's though yo - you do much better yo, you know yo?

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  62. Yo Angie, thanks yo, I'll like mad try yo. You can yo catch me blogging TAR and Survivor too yo. Some mad crazy shit yo.

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  63. YO, Thank God people see the same thing I have. Enzo, is the most fame hungry whore-man I have ever seen. REALLY? He expects movie deals. C'mon yo! I think you really got to see most house guests personalities. But, he is the only one I am still scratching my head over. Let's just say not alot of depth. Poor wifey.

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