Saturday, August 25, 2012

Golden Balls


Created as a punishment, created out of clay, Pandora was molded by the hands of gods. Prometheus, a dandy trickster of sorts, stole the secret of fire for humankind and needed to be punished. His punishment? A beautiful evil named Pandora sent to walk amongst men and seize their every waking thought. Spinning on a potters wheel, Pandora rose up and began to take shape. Her limbs perfect, her skin flawless. But the gods didn't stop there. They gave her gifts - gifts of seduction, gifts of deceit. Fully formed and complete, Pandora beguiled those around her with her silky robes and her garland dripping hair. And all the while she lugged around a jar. An ornate jar with a cork stuck in its top. The jar, much like herself, tempted and teased, taunted and tantalized. What was inside, she wondered day in and day out. Was it wine? Was it an elixir? Was it a way to keep Dan Gheesling from going home? The only way to answer these questions was for Pandora to pop the cork. And pop it she did. Let's recap, shall we?

So, the hairy knuckled finger of Allison Grodner is at it again. Shunning all that is organic (game play, strategy, food), Grodner and her flunkies favor the processed cheese coated manufactured crap we get year in and year out. It's Pandora's Box time, bitches! The feeds were down for a good portion of the day and since I like the nightlife and like to boogie, I saw very little yesterday but will try my best to summarize what we know so far.


The morning begins with Frank and Joe in the Arcade Room. Joe wants to know from Frank exactly what it is that bugs him so much about Dan. Oh, let me answer this Joe! Pick me, pick me! Joe ignores my cries while Frank tells him that it is pretty much everything since day one with Dan. He made promises he didn't intend on keeping, he won't answer any questions, and the scum bagging... my god, the scum bagging! I still have no idea what that is by the way. Is it like tea bagging?

Anyhow, Frank goes on to tell Joe that the live studio audience cheered for him during that POV because they all know who shady Dan is. Call me crazy, but I think the crowd groaned when Frank won. Weren't they cheering for Shane? Joe nods and replies, "You got a lotta support out there man." Joe then tells Frank that the reason he couldn't vote for Boogie on Thursday night was because he had a debt to pay to Shane for saving him. Today that debt is all paid up and Joe is a free agent again.


Naturally, Joe runs straight to Britney and tattles everything that Frank told him. Britney stares into her giant mug of French Vanilla Creamer and tells Joe that there is nothing they can do to save Dan. Joe agrees and tells her that Frank also thinks he has Ian's vote. He makes it very clear to Britney that Frank never wavered once from wanting to get Dan out. Frank wants him out this week come hell or high water. He's not even considering another name. Joe also tells Britney that Frank isn't going to put him up on the block this week. All he wants from Joe is Joe's vote. Joe says the only chance they have to save Dan is to win POV.


The feeds go down for a while and there is lot of speculation as to whether or not it is Pandora's Box. Apparently, Frank has been locked out of his room for a while. It is a false alarm though and when the feeds return the HG's find a new smaller table. Joe declares, "Meals are gonna be tight!" Yes, tight and full of typhoid thanks to your pee fingers. Plus, we find out that the Have-Not's (Dan) got mozzarella and matzo.

The feeds go down again and this time it is the real deal. Pandora's Box.

When the feeds return, we find Ian pacing again frantically hither and thither. He's mumbling to himself, "Every man for himself, right?" Britney and Frank try to console him and it is here that we discover how Ian actually won something called the Golden Ball Of Veto. The Golden Ball Of Veto is literally a gold ball that lets Ian take one person off the block. The only drawback is that he can't play in the POV tomorrow.


So while Ian is pacing and calling himself a "scumbag" (Oh shut up.) over the fact that he actually won something, Dan lolls about in another room smiling to himself. Boy, is he happy he never ratted out Ian! He was going to tell Frank everything that little pipsqueak was up to but never got around to it. And now, here we are, with Ian holding the power to save Dan. Isn't that funny how that happens? Dan's only worry is if Frank nominates Ian because then Ian will surely use the power to save himself.


All of this makes Dothraki Danielle very angry. Very very angry. Just look at that face. Look at those eyebrows slicing the sky. They're like little hairy machetes of malice. Our kind-hearted Florence Nightingale wants to turn Ian into a football and punt him across the yard. *beams* We are so on the same wavelength Danielle. My eyebrows don't have that same razor's edge that yours do, but Ian unnerves me to the core.

Frank joins Dan & Danielle and here is where we learn that Frank was actually locked up in the HOH throughout Pandora's Box. He had envelopes with different dollar amounts on them and he took the one worth $3000. Out in the backyard, there was something with balls and quarters. I think quarters were hurled at the HG's (Danielle keeps saying how much they hurt) and then they were used to play that grabby arcade game thing. From the sound of it, Dan got very ugly during the game and is embarrassed by how he acted.

I'll be honest, I kind of checked out for the rest of the day, but here is what we know: Frank wants Dan out of the game. Ian has a Golden Ball Of Veto. Frank now needs to make his nominations. One would think Frank would nominate Ian in order to get Ian to remove himself and make his GBOV null and void. I mean, right? RIGHT?! He should nominate Ian and someone else like Shane. Then, when Ian pulls himself off, he puts up Dan. Plus, with that other POV hanging out there in the wind, Shane would surely kill to get it if he was on the block (which would be a good thing because the last thing Frank wants is Dan winning POV). But noooooo. No. You want to know who Frank nominates? Frank nominates Dan and Danielle. FRANK NOMINATES DAN AND DANIELLE!

Help me out here because I'm struggling to comprehend all of this. Ian says he won't use his GBOV because he feels bad going against Frank again because of what he did to him and Boogie last week, but still. Still! There are no guarantees in this life and I can't believe Frank would be so careless. His intuitions haven't been half bad thus far in the game so maybe he knows something I don't. *shrugs shoulders* I have no idea.

Alright, I've got to end this here today. Sorry this was so short, but you can hear me tonight on another episode of the Big Brother Gossip Show where I'm sure we'll flesh this all out a little more. So, what do you guys think? Did Frank make a mistake with his nominations? Will Ian stick to his word? If I tape razor blades to my eyebrows, will I look like Danielle? Comment it out bitches and have a great day!

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22 comments:

  1. Frank knows something we do not. Call me naive but I never believed the conspiracy theories regarding production helping their favorites, however, last night at the end of BB After Dark Ian whispered to Brit "the DR does not want me to use the veto and they want us to work with Frank".

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    1. Knew it. KNEW IT!! Thank-you!

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  2. Frank is dumb as a box of rocks.Without Boogie holding his hand he doesn't know what to do.Poor dumb jock.

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  3. Woodward and Bernstein kept the identity of their Deep Throat secret for three decades until Mark Felt outed himself near the end of his life. The quack pack's deep throat will be lucky to make it three more days, and that is only because The Big Stank is so incredibly stupid. One thing for sure, Dan won't be sitting next to Ian in a final two without the jury knowing the story, and he'll be sure Frank has plenty of time to stew about it.

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  4. I still wanna know what "Tossed salad " means in the way Danielle meant it.

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  5. To some the glass is half full. To others it is half empty. To Danielle, the glass is just like everybody and everything else, the enemy. Even if it is brimming with Champagne she glares at it and screams "You think I'm stupid don't you? You think I don't know that you've been lying about me behind my back, even though I've never lied about you except for maybe that little fib I told Brittany abut you being Joe's urine sample so he could get his chef's license. I hate glasses, ever since that one at the French embassy in Beijing called me fat. I wish I had learned French instead of Mandarin, Swahili and Hindustani 'cause I would have gotten those frogs in a war with China. Truffles wouldn't have saved them. I'M NOT FAT! And that freakin' Janelle LOVES glasses, that's why I got her evicted. She brags about cabinets full of them, and they all think my ass is bigger than hers. Oh Shane, hold me. Hold me in your arms. Make these nominations go away. It doesn't matter about all of these vetoes that can save us. Half full glasses are still glasses. We have to get rid of Joe, why can't Frank see that. It's Joes's cooking that makes my thighs look like the belly of a hippo, but they are not. turkeyburgers react with the camera lenses to distort things. I learned that when I lived in Houston, back when I was training to become an astronaut. Did I ever tell you they wanted me to be the first full time nurse on the International Space Station?...."

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  6. Is it just me or are Denial's eyebrows a little chunky.

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  7. According to the rules, Ian couldn't be nommed or play in the veto, which is why Frank didn't make his power null and void. But the little pisser sure is full of himself!

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  8. Thanks Jastreb, honey would be my choice of dressing

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  9. I hope that Dan outs Ian to Frank. I want Ian to go down...

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  10. First of all, would Frank believe Dan even if he did out Ian? Frank's complete & utter hatred for Dan would not allow that.
    Second, in the frenzy of the comp, when the audience groaned at Frank finding that 2nd clover, it was so noisy & the audience also cheered for Shane finding the 2nd clover, then dropping it, some of the HGs mistakenly thought Frank had been cheered on. Houseguests told Frank he was cheered on,& of course he believed it. I wouldn't be at all surprised if the DR lied & told him he was loved & cheered by the crowd to pump him up some more!

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  11. I want Dan to lose to Frank. For this to happen, Dan must go. after that, Britney can be allowed to leave the hosue and the rest of them can die in a fire.

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  12. I may be a lone wolf out here, but I've been rooting for Dan since the beginning. Anyone seeing the live feeds or reading about them like I do now should know that Dan has a plan in place, and the idiot Frank is buying into it like the idiot he is. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy about it, because for the past few days, I have been trying to figure out which dumbbell to root for once he leaves, but now I see the slim light of hope down the road and I'm happy about it, but also amazed at how retarded Frank really is. I guess it's something to do with the fact that he doesn't have Boogie to think for him anymore. By the way, for those who haven't seen the feeds and don't read about them, all I will say is Dan's plan does not include ratting out Ian. I'm a little unhappy about his plan, but if it works, I'm great because I'd love to see him be the only person to win the only two seasons he's played. Britney is funny and likeable, but not enough for me to root for her. I can't really say why I don't want her to win, I guess I'd be ok with it. Danielle is whiny and I've heard her compared to Jordan. Jordan? Really? Jordan may be stupid and from the south, but she's 1000% times more likeable than Danielle. I was happy when Jordan won. I'd not be happy with Danielle winning. Joe needs to learn kitchen cleanliness, and he has to - HAS TO - go back to his whispering lessons. Jenn...who is she again? She's another Kathy/Adam/insert any invisible player with no chance of winning in their season here. Ian in my mind is too chicken and can't handle the serious decisions in this game. Shane knows nothing about the game and can win some comps but I just can't cheer for a bag of rocks. Who am I missing? Frank himself. Why do I hate Frank? He apparently stinks, and he's a bully. He acted like it's ok for everyone else to be nominated or evicted, but not if it's HIS people. To say it wasn't right for Boogie and Ashley to go is moronic and shows his true colours. He'll cut off any appendage as long as it's not one he wants to use. My only consolation really is that he's stupid enough to buy into Dan's plan, and regardless, he's gone in the next two weeks. Even production can't protect him forever. I suppose as long as Frank doesn't win I'll be happy, but I'd rather see Dan take it by a mile. But that's just me!

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    1. Surprise! Dan did rat out Ian & the moves he is making right now are epic!

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  13. It is so painfully obvious that Grodner is gonna do whatever it takes to keep "Big Frank" around, and probably shove him down our throats for many seasons to come. If she can't twist the comps enough for him to win it, we are doomed to watch this moron's take on future seasons, and he will be back to play every chance possible.

    ..."Big Jeff", anyone?

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  14. May switch to Glass HouseAugust 27, 2012 at 11:48 AM

    You are probably right about Grodner, Frank probably used his phoney " charm" , told her she was hot , and she fell for it and became determined to keep her boy around, why elsewould he be saved at the reset when everything was in place and he was sure to be backdoored? That was such an obvious move to save him and completely unfair to Shane who for the first few weeks made all the right moves . Damnit Grodner! No more past HGs and let the players play their own game. . . . .Please!

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  15. I need to read something bitchy soon or I will just lose it. So much has happened since the girlfriend post..what abt the funeral? the blindside of shane? you have plenty of fodder, write damnit! Maybe you're saving it up for finale and then I'm going to get to read the journey? Hope you love Dimples more then you've loved Chen this season :)

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