Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Star-Crossed Gropers


The timeless tale of tragic love. Lovers meet under unusual circumstances only to be torn apart by a motormouth prancersizer. Their time running out like sands through the hourglass brings them all the more close together. Legs intertwined, ringworm spreading, kisses stolen poolside, that familiar burn when you pee... ah, romance! And as with all great romantic stories, our hero must either die like Jack did in Titanic or be sent home in shame with only a rash to remind him of all he has lost. Let's recap, shall we?

We'll begin our day with the POV Ceremony. POV winner, Eyebrows (Kaitlin), has decided to use the POV on herself which, unfortunately, means her bohunk boyfriend Asshat (Jeremy) is now on the block. This was HOH Helen's diabolical plan this whole time - to backdoor Asshat. After the ceremony we find the two lovers in a warm embrace. Eyebrows has plastered blood red kisses on his face - See that Jessie? He's hers, not yours! - as the two coo and sigh. Asshat tells her that this is the end of his Big Brother season... THIS season. Eyebrows gazes up at Asshat and says, "You'll try out again next season!" Asshat shakes his head, "If they want me, they'll call me and ask me." 

Here's the thing, Asshat is a douche canoe. We all know this, BUT I am not ready for him to leave yet. He is a large arrogant personality who can be trusted to bicker with someone at least once a day and I would hate to lose that so early in the game. If I had it my way, I'd like Spencer to go this week. Yes, that means Aryan can stick around to. You know how I love myself some drama. I can't have all the shit stirring people going home before Jury!


Downstairs in the Storage Room we find Elvira (Elissa) and Amanda having a quick meeting. Amanda says it is annoying how Helen keeps offering protection to people. She made a deal with Eyebrows and now that she's removed herself from the block, the others aren't allowed to go after her next week. Elvira nods and agrees, "We can't keep promising everyone protection." Amanda tells Elvira that Helen is making Elvira do her bidding. Elvira insists that Helen isn't. She has no intention of continuing to be the middle man as the game goes on. 


Up in the HOH we find VaGina (GinaMarie) and Candice. Take a wild guess what they're talking about. Yup, Nick! Again! Candice is trying to explain to VaGina how The Moving Company fell apart. VaGina listens and shakes her head to herself. Lately, she's been getting the impression from Aryan that she either never liked Nick or has something to tell her about Nick. Uh yeah. Aryan really wants to tell you how you're being completely psychotic about a guy who never liked you. VaGina then starts quoting Roxette... it must have been love, but it's over now


Out in the backyard, Asshat and Amanda are talking about the whole racism fight the other night. Asshat firmly believes that it was all blown out of proportion. Amanda says that she was really snippy that day and was getting sick and tired of people picking on Jessie. She says that she wasn't even the first person to bring up the racism stuff (she's referring to the DR). Asshat shrugs his shoulders, "Who knows how people are being portrayed?" Amanda replies, "I know." Asshat laughs at her assuredness. Amanda says they ask her about the racism stuff all the time in the DR. Big Brother then comes on the loud speaker, "Amanda, you are not allowed to talk about your Diary Room sessions." Andy then interrupts and says that Amanda is really bad about talking about production. She asks, "Am I?" Andy says yes and that he is too. He says he's waiting for the day when they both get penalty nominations. 


A little later on we find Asshat in the pool. Candice is lying nearby with Amanda and Aryan reclining on the opposite end. The discussion turns to the votes for Bouffant (David). Asshat insists that he voted for Bouffant to stay (he did), but Candice doesn't believe him. Asshat again says he voted for Bouffant and Candice will be embarrassed when she finally sees the tapes. He'll be waiting for her phone call where she apologizes to him. He then accuses Candice of calling out Amanda and McCrae (I have no idea where this came from). Candice leaps up off the side of the pool and straight into the water. She screams at Asshat, "Don't you lie on me! Don't you lie on me!" She then swims over to Aryan and says that it was Nick she was calling out, not Amanda.


Candice finally steps out of the pool and lies back down in her spot. Asshat can't let the outburst go though. He is the one of those last word people... he always has to have it. Splashing in the water, Asshat begins to chuckle to himself. It's incredibly condescending and you just kind of want to hold his under the water until he's a bloated corpse. Asshat continues to laugh and says he can't believe how upset Candice got. Candice then the one thing she doesn't like is when people call her a liar. Asshat snaps, "You're just mad cuz you got called out." Candice shoots up again, "CALLED OUT ON WHAT?!" Asshat continues to laugh at her. Candice tells him she is a loyal person and that no one was loyal to Asshat which is why he's going home. Asshat replies, "I'm going home because I'm a champ and you'll be going home next because you can't control your emotions." The scene ends with Asshat singing 'Cry Me A River'.


The camera switches to Aryan and Jessie, but we've missed the beginning of the conversation. All I'm able to catch is that they're talking about Eyebrows. Jessie is 100% sure if Eyebrows win the next HOH, she's going up on the block. 

The lazy afternoon continues which brings on the rumblings of a Nail Party. *sigh* Helen wants to have a Nail Party up in the HOH with all the girls. Nothing sounds like a more miserable idea than a party thrown by Helen. It wouldn't be a party, it would be a team building exercise with a Power Point presentation. Amanda, too, wants no part of the party. She's on slop and really doesn't want to watch a bunch of girls much on goodies. Personally, I skipped the party and got all caught up on The Killing. But this morning catching up on BBAD, I see that Asshat crashed the party.

Apparently, Asshat invited himself to the party and people were annoyed. By people, I mean Jessie. She hates breathing the same air Asshat does and she just wants to be left alone by him and his skanky girlfriend. Andy was also at the party because, well, he's Andy! He's everywhere. The discussion turned to first kisses and Jessie said that her first kiss was in a boy's bathroom. Andy shouted, "Ho!" and Eyebrows started laughing really loud. Well, this infuriates Jessie. She storms out of the nail party and outside where Amanda and McCrae are lying on the hammock withering away from hunger. 


Jessie puts her hands on her hips and tells them she is so sick of Eyebrows being mean to her. I don't know if Eyebrows' laugh was full of shrapnel or what, but Jessie is super pissed off about it. She jumps from person to person telling them that Eyebrows laughed SO hard. Mind you, she's not mad at Andy for calling her a ho, she's mad at Eyebrows for bumping uglies with Asshat. Word eventually gets back to Eyebrows who thinks this is all so ridiculous. Andy suggests that Eyebrows apologize to Jessie. Instead Eyebrows bitches and moans to Asshat about how ridiculous Jessie is. Asshat tells Eyebrows that Jessie will always have a problem. Then he smiled to self and somewhere a puppy got run over by a truck.

So that's that! Do you think there is any way to save Asshat? Could the house flip at the last minute? Comment it out bitches and have a great day!
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15 comments:

  1. Has he even tried to save himself? We were happy for Helen because she seemed level headed, but The men need to rally next week. They are dropping like flies. No depending on someone else to make the moves. It's time to do it like Brendan and that rope challenge in his rage to avenge Rachel. And it really should be Aaryn this week. Yes, Jeremy is a douche-nozzle, but he's arrogant and will keep it interesting. Let him survive this vote and there would be no living with him. He needs to campaign. Aaryn would have tire skids across her back she'd have been thrown under the bus so many times by now. How hard would it be to get them to see that it needs to be her that goes?

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    1. Much agreed! I can't stand watching Helen anymore and the whole McPizza showmance disgusts me, so that doesn't leave me with many options at this point.

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    2. BTW, I just saw your poll and it made me LOL because the other night I asked my husband if we could just go ahead and vote Amanda's boobs for MVP.

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  2. After Dan found a way to stay in the house, it's clear that anything is possible and people are willing to fall for anything. I do not like this kid and I'm so glad he's going out like a quitter. He says his head is high, but why should it be? He got set up and never tried to make a power move to get out of this jam. As if people aren't willing to get rid of Aaryn, Kaitlin, or Spencer? This guy sucks.

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  3. It looks like Jeremy is going home, but we know in BB anything can change within a day's time of "you said" "they said". Jeremy could easily pull it together and get votes, but he is not smart and he is not a "champ" - his mama told him wrong on that one - just like Aaryn's mama was wrong about her cuteness will cleanse anything that comes out of her mouth. BB must cast people who have no self-awareness. I have one off the wall question - why doesn't Judd's lips move when he talks? He looks a ventriloquist without a puppet.

    Jay Es

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  4. Aaryn is a mosaic if derogatory terms..Why would they vote to keep her there?

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    1. Because everyone can beat her at Final 2.

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  5. I'm with you, I'd like to see Asshat stay. Would make a lot of sense to keep him, he's a HUGE target.

    Just not sure if they could get enough people to cross Helen this week. They need 6 votes, and Asshat only seems interested in campaigning for Spencer to go, not Aryan.

    All he's got are Kaitlin and GM. I think there's an outside chance Amanda/McCrae would flip, but only if they were sure the numbers were there obv.

    He's never getting a vote from Candice, Elissa, or Jessie (which prob means no Judd either). Don't think Howard would vote out Spencer either, and Andy seems pretty unlikely too.

    If Asshat would campaign against Aryan (I know that doesn't help his numbers much, but do anything to stay another week!), maybe he could get Howard and Howard could convince Candice. Not sure if Elissa hates Aryan more than Asshat.

    Problem there is I don't think he could get Amanda/McCrae then. They're actually closer to Aryan than most of the house.

    Not looking good.

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  6. I wish Jessie would get a clue and flip the script on Eyebrows and Jeremy by coming on to them and trying to get closer to them when t hey do that to irritate her. They would run for the hills and we would all have a good laugh! She could push all their buttons and gain some power and stop being a whiny crybaby.

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  7. I can't stand Jesse. "Girls hate me because I'm beautiful", well she's low man on the BB totem poll as far as that goes. Dogging poor Nick (who pinged the gaydar virtually nonstop), was especially painful to watch. I think the problem with this BB cast is that so many of them are not charismatic or likable. That Jeremy lives on a boat b/c the trailer burned down. He's disgusting. I feel dirty even wanting him out before the production shill Aaryn, but I do.

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  8. Jessie is horribly annoying, but I don't think she's deserved the shit she's gotten from Jeremy and Kaitlin. All the whining she's doing is just making it worse. I was busy a lot of the day yesterday, logged in to watch the feed last night and was bored. to. death. I decided to go watch old episodes of Breaking Bad instead. It doesn't help that all four cameras were on the McPizza disgustingness. I don't know what it is, but seeing the two of them together makes me throw up in my mouth. Thanks for the recap; good to know I didn't miss anything last night.

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  9. Can we get subtitles when Judd speaks!!

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    1. I love Judd, but he's a King of the Hill character.

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  10. You should make Spencer's nickname Grimace

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  11. Hey, don't you think that Amanda was strong holding Elissa to much to put Howard up? The diary room sessions show that Elissa was on to Amanda's constantly trying to get Howard up. Maybe Elissa isn't as stupid as you think? Or maybe she doesn't like Amanda trying to get her to do what SHE wants. Notice as well she is starting that shit with Judd tonight after he won HOH. Still loving Amanda? She's getting my MVP nomination vote for it. I liked her for a while, but she wants everyone to do her bidding by saying that they "HAVE TO." Maybe she should win HOH and put up Howard herself. Oh she's doing it for the good of everyone..what about the good of her own alliance. Besides, Howard is strong but I don't think he's any more intelligent than anyone in the house.
    Listening to you on that podcast. I'm liking you better, but your opinions are pretty dumb sometimes. And that guy is a fucking perv and has an annoying ass voice. You're the only one I like from the show really.

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