Friday, August 23, 2013

Oh My God, You Guyzzz


Oh my goshhh you guyzzzz, this is soooo exciting hnmm mnmm. I'm like freaking ouuuut. Look at this photograph, hnmm mnmm, I think that guy right there is my husbannnd. He's either my husbannnd or the tour guide we had that one time we visited Canadaaaa, hnmm mnmm. And, oh my god, you guyzzz, Perfect Little Treasure drew me some picturezzz! Do you see the anger in his brush strokezz, unh? That means he's wetting his bed again. Oh myyy goddd, I got a yoga mat. But, this isn't Mandukaaaa. I wanted a Mandukaaa. Greek Yogurt yummm hnmm mnmm. Let's recap, shall we?

Where to begin? How does one pick up the pieces of a clusterfuck and put them together in a way that is both pleasing to the eye and not vomit inducing? Hell if I know! Let's dive right in and see if we can make sense of all of this.


When the Live Feeds click on, we discover that Spencer and McCrae have already dropped out of the competition. Jessie and Amanda are tied with 3 balls and Elvira (Elissa) is in the lead with 4 balls. Quickly and without haste, the balls being to fly again. Amanda and Elvira both catch a ball while Andy stumbles and falls.


Jessie falls next and was instructed to immediately leave the house as soon as she fell. On her way out the door she hollers, "Fuck you Amanda! I fucking hate you!" Jessie's a gem, isn't she? As Jessie waddles out the door we hear Aryan say, "I'm sorry Jessie. You are out of the game." This is mildly interesting to BB connoisseurs because it's the first time (that I can recall) we get to hear an HOH narrating an Endurance Competition. But wait! Jessie hasn't left the premises yet. No, she's still throwing a fit. She's throwing a fit and she's throwing balls at the Jurors heads. The feeds cut to fish for, what I suspect, are the men in white coats coming to drag Jessie away.


When the feeds come back we can hear Hell-en (Helen) feverishly telling Candice and J-U-DD that Elvira was the only one who voted to save her. Homegirl Hell-en is working overtime to make sure her precious Elvira lasts longer in the game. It's very Single White Female... only, it's Single Asian Female... but she's not single so I guess it's Married Asian Female which, if you ask me, doesn't sound like all that great of a movie. Does that make me a racist?


Hell-en must have had a premonition of her future in the Jury House because she falls with Candice falling right behind her. Welcome back to the Big Brother House, J-U-DD. Ahummina hummina.

As the only Juror left, J-U-DD is not only back in the house, but he can still compete for HOH. He tells the HG's that he wants to start the game anew and holds no grudges against anyone. The score is now J-U-DD with 3 balls, Amanda with 4 balls, Elvira with 6 balls and VaGina (GinaMarie) with 3 balls. On a personal note, I'm happy J-U-DD is back. The other options were too much of a nightmare so it's good to have that mumbling country boy back in our lives. Plus, it means we'll get some more J-U-DD impersonation on the Big Brother Gossip Show tomorrow night!

All of the HG's are extremely interested to hear what the Jury House is like. J-U-DD's reply is, "I've had to hear Oprah stories for the past two weeks. That's the only thing I'm bitter about." VaGina yells from her end of the arena, "Did you tap that (Candice or Jessie) or what?" J-U-DD replies, "Nah, we had different rooms." McCrae then asks what the movies in the house are like. J-U-DD tells them that the movies were similar to what they had in sequester. McCrae then asks what the Jurors were able to see of the evictions. J-U-DD says that the eviction DVD's were short and vague.

(intruders are in upper right hand box)

Then, out of nowhere, a heckler in a red wig and a giant foam finger comes racing into the backyard to distract the HG's. He hollers this and that as a security guard chases him. The fallen HG's on the bench yell to the HG's still competing to ignore the distraction and stay focused on the game. A lovely lady on Twitter was speculating that the unruly fan was Howie. I have no idea because I never got a glimpse of his face.


As much as we may like J-U-DD and his wacky mumble-speak, I am still annoyed that he is back. It is incredibly unfair to let an evicted HG reenter the house. And it would have been more unfair had he won HOH so it's a good thing he fell just as Elvira was catching her seventh ball. I'm not an Elvira fan (AT ALL), but I have to say that she was very smart in the way she played the game. See how her eyes are locked on the ball shooter thingie? This is immensely helpful when it comes to catching balls. Amanda, on the other hand, was more focused on not falling off her perch.


The competition continues and we quickly get two VERY close calls. Amanda loses her footing on her perch and falls to one side, but she grips her ball holder and manages to swing herself back into an upright position. Shortly after, the exact same thing happens to Elvira and we immediately know how important this HOH is to both women.


Despite her efforts and despite never falling off, Amanda simply didn't catch enough balls to pull out a victory. Elvira, with her eye on the ball shooter strategy, catches her tenth ball and is our new HOH. *stabs self in the eye with a hot poker*

There has been a lot of speculation and conspiracy theories circulating about Elvira's win and, believe me, I LOVE a good conspiracy theory, but Elvira won that comp fair and square. No one cheated, no one was pushed and no one was told when to jump. Any sightings of Production behind the wall are simply of the crew maintaining the apparatus.


After the HOH is over and everyone has had their showers, we find Elvira and J-U-DD in the bathroom. Elvira is wasting no time jumping on the Amanda Hate Train. She corners J-U-DD and tells him that Amanda, McCrae and Aryan wanted to backdoor him for months. You and I both know this isn't true, but lying is part of the game. I can accept this. I can accept people lying in order to stay in the house longer. It's always baffling to me when I see peoples panties in a twist over Amanda or Andy lying in their game play. EVERYONE in the house lies! Why is it OK for Hell-en and Elvira to lie, but not OK for Amanda and her crew to lie? The hypocrisy amongst the BB fan base is laughably ridiculous.

Anyhow, J-U-DD doesn't seem all too concerned with the information that Elvira is telling him. He says to her, "Sorry fer not huggin' you when I left the house." Elvira ignores him and asks if he'll vote out whomever she puts up. J-U-DD replies, "I'm startin' fresh." Elvira then asks, "You're not mad at Amanda and McCrae?" Again, J-U-DD says that he's not holding any grudges and has no alliances. He is starting the game completely fresh. Elvira then asks him why Jessie is so mad at her. J-U-DD has no idea, but he says that Jessie told him about how she was stalking Elvira that one day.


Over in the bedroom we see Amanda frantically doing some damage control since J-U-DD is back in the house. She tells Aryan to tell J-U-DD that Hell-en threatened her and she had to put J-U-DD on the block during that Double Eviction. Amanda tells Aryan that she has to tell J-U-DD that Hell-en said he was MVP (The truth is that Amanda said it). Amanda reiterates that they need to blame everything on Hell-en. Aryan nods and doesn't say much, but Amanda is worried because she can't remember exactly what she said to J-U-DD in her goodbye message to him.

In all parts of the house, everyone is super curious about what Jury is like. They ask J-U-DD all sorts of questions and with each answer the feeds go down. The feeds even cut to fish when J-U-DD begins to tell everyone how he thinks that Candice really likes Howard for real. At one point when the feeds come back up we hear J-U-DD saying that he wish he knew what he was and wasn't allowed to say (Production must have given him a warning.). Nonetheless, the remaining HG's fill J-U-DD in on how Jessie went batshit crazy the week she got evicted.


Off in another room, we find McCrae and Spencer quietly whispering to each other. McCrae doesn't think having J-U-DD back in the game changes anything. McCrae insists that J-U-DD is still a marked man. McCrae admits that he feels like he and Amanda are "super at risk" this week. Spencer assures McCrae that he'll still back him up and be loyal this week.


In the bathroom we find Amanda and Elvira whispering. The blow dryers are blowing loudly so it's extremely hard to hear exactly what they're saying. What I'm able to pick up is Amanda reminding Elvira how they've protected her throughout the game. Elvira doesn't seem to care much. Amanda mentions something about J-U-DD going on the block and Elvira firmly says that she's not putting up J-U-DD, but she might put up McCrae. Elvira then says how Aryan is the one who sent Hell-en home, but she doesn't have the balls to accept responsibility. Instead, she blames everyone else. Again, it's extremely difficult to hear them, but Elvira seems firm in her decision and not interested in hearing what other people think.


Elvira mumbles something about splitting up VaGina and Aryan. Amanda tells her that the best way to do that is to put both of them on the block. If VaGina wins POV, then Aryan will still go home. If Elvira doesn't put VaGina on the block, she can still win POV and save Aryan. Amanda is insistent that the way to assure Aryan goes home is to put VaGina up with her. Elvira says nothing and walks away.


The talk with Elvira is incredibly worrisome to Amanda so she and McCrae go into the cockpit. Amanda rehashes her bathroom conversation with Elvira and tells McCrae that Elvira wants Aryan to go home. She says that Elvira wants to nominate Aryan with either herself or McCrae. Amanda explains how she is trying to get Elvira to nominate VaGina and Aryan together.


McCrae, also worried, tells Amanda that she needs to stay on top of Elvira. Amanda says she doesn't want to push her too much because Elvira pushes back. Amanda tells McCrae that if J-U-DD asks any questions about his eviction, he has to say that Hell-en told them J-U-DD was MVP. McCrae asks Amanda if Aryan knows to say that as well. She tells him that she already talked to Aryan about blaming everything on Hell-en. McCrae worries that Aryan could flip and use it against them.


Andy then enters the cockpit and Amanda immediately tells him that Elvira doesn't want to nominate Spencer or J-U-DD with Aryan. She tells Andy that Elvira wants to put up someone stronger like her or McCrae. McCrae tells Andy he needs to work on Elvira, but not to push it too much because Elvira doesn't like to be pushed. Andy sighs and wishes they could just get rid of J-U-DD. Amanda tells him how Elvira was adamant about not nominating J-U-DD. McCrae says he's super worried about J-U-DD comparing notes with the other HG's. Andy laments that J-U-DD coming back into the game screws up everything. Andy doesn't want Amanda or McCrae to go up on the block, but he also doesn't want to go up on the block himself. Meanwhile, McCrae doesn't understand why Elvira wants to put up a strong person this week. He says that she can't play in HOH next week and everyone will be after her.

Amanda is super worried that both she and McCrae will go up on the block. McCrae tells her that that's exactly what will happen if VaGina wins POV. McCrae keeps saying, "What a fucking nightmare." Andy sighs, "It's going to be so hard to get J-U-DD out." Amanda contributes, "This is the absolute worst case scenario." Before Andy leaves the cockpit, he reassures McCrae and Amanda that they can get through this.


Once Andy leaves, Amanda begins to cry. She tells McCrae that J-U-DD is going to screw everything up (Not J-U-DD, Elvira!). Through sniffles and tears she says she doesn't want to leave yet. If she gets voted out she'll have to go to the Jury House with all those girls that will be mean to her.


Fast forwarding a little, we arrive at Elvira's HOH reveal which is a nightmare of hnmm mnmm's and unh's. Elvira says over and over again, "I'm sooo excited. I'm freaking ouuuuuttt. I don't know what I'm going to doooo when I'm seeing pictures of my familyyyy. I'm going to die, hnmm mnmm." Sadly, she didn't die. Instead she hnmm mnmm'd all over everything and says to a photograph, "That's my little family, mnmm." Amanda then comments on of the photos, "That doesn't even look like you in that picture. That's crazy." Amanda, my love, that photo was probably pre-op Elvira.

In addition to photographs, Elvira also got some hand painted art from Perfect Little Treasure. Elvira says, "Oh my goshhhh, this is sooo beautiful." Later she remarks how the drawings look like her son was angry when he made them (???).


Not everything is sunshine and roses in Elvira's HOH. For example, the eyelashes in her HOH basket aren't the kind that she wears. The ones in her basket are "ridiculous". She also didn't get a Manduka yoga mat... "This is not my favorite yoga mat. Manduka is my favorite." If you follow me on Twitter, then you know that, hours before the HOH reveal, I predicted that the brand of her yoga mat would be an issue. For all of you non-yogis, Manduka is one of the most expensive yoga mats. I don't have a Manduka myself, but I'd cut off my left tit to get one. If anyone wants to buy me one, I would love THIS ONE and THIS ONE. Some people got annoyed with me this morning for pointing out that Elvira was bitching about her yoga mat because Elvira said her Manduka was too heavy. Well, Manduka makes lighter travel ones, numbskulls! I'm going to step out of this paragraph right now because I get way too fired up when talking about yoga. Namaste.


In addition to an insufficient yoga mat, Elvira got a Taylor Swift CD (the horror!) and a letter from Rachel (even more horrifying!). And that is where I will end this today. I suspect that Elvira will be nominating Aaryn and Amanda for eviction this afternoon.

So, what did you think of the HOH competition? Are you happy Elvira won? Is Aryan Elvira's real target or is it Amanda? Will you be daytime drinking heavily today during the Kiss The Hnmm Mnmm Ring sessions? Comment it out bitches and have a great day!

CBS Interactive Inc.

47 comments:

  1. I have to say that I am severely disappointed that no one is playing the, "we still have the votes" card. No matter who Elvira puts up--the decision comes down to the votes, and after Veto, she's completely powerless for at least a week.

    If Aaryn and Amanda go up, I'd like to see everyone throw the Veto to McCrae so he can save Amanda and be safe too, then she'll put up GM, and with the votes (and Aaryn's 300 alliances), she'll go home--Elvira be damned.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NOPE!!!! She won't put GM OTB as replacement.....it wud b RAT face Andy!!!

      Delete
    2. If that were to happen, she wud NOT put GM OTB.....it wud b RAT face Andy......and good riddance!!

      Delete
    3. LMAO, Lala!!! Sooooo true about us mini-hamsters. I, too, am sick & tired of people bashing McCranda, Aaryn & Andy! Like Lala said, to accept lying, backstabbing, trash-talking, and deal-breaking from people that they 'like' in the house and bashing people they don't 'like' is hypocrisy @ it's finest. This is how the BB 'game' is played.....it doesn't matter HOW they lie, backstab, trash-talk, or deal-break. It's how CLOSE it gets them to the half million!!!! Some people take this show & it's 'characters' sooooo personally; that's the WORST way to play the game, btw.....

      @ Jessica Kent; I WISH that your dream scenario were a possibility, BUT................Narcissa (Elissa) just now made a deal with Aaryn! It was almost comical watching Aaryn's eyes light up and say, "I'll do ANYthing to stay". Even if it means putting Amanda up on the block with her ❤ love, McCrae!!! ACKKKK!! Aaryn agreed with Narcissa to fight hard for the veto to pull Aaryn off & put Amanda on AND vote Amanda out!!!!!! She has to save her a$$, but maybe after Aaryn wins veto, she can persuade Narcissa into putting Spencer or GM up & vote 1 of them out. The other HG's may also wear Narcissa down, too, which could help. I'm convinced that Rachel's letter & Helen's eviction got Narcissa all fired up like she sort of used to be. She can be a beast @ comps. Rachel & Helen, be damned--lol; that wasn't cool. (lol)

      Even with Judd back in the house, I'm still pulling for Andy/McCrae to make F2, but things are NOT looking good for them right now. IF Narcissa is able to pull this off, we may see McCrae (N000000!!) or Amanda join the jury house Thursday. Kinda stinks because I find Amanda entertaining when she isn't having a jealous episode, and her going means McCrae's HUGE shield will be gone. :( Sad. BUT......it will prove the Amanda haters wrong (the ones who think she was pre-selected to win) plus it will force McCrae to fight for himself and get some blood on his hands since he had Amanda, Helen & Andy doing his dirty work all summer.

      Sorry so long-winded...I'm obsessed with BB15!! :)

      Delete
  2. I'm so ready for McCrae to exit the BB house. As the super fan he claims to be, I hate his game.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. McCrae's game is pretty genius to me. Amanda, Helen & Andy get their hands dirty while he chills out & takes it easy the 1st part of the summer, only wins certain things, but not many, stays quiet & friendly with everyone, and latches onto a gorgeous real estate agent who can be his ever-important shield in the house. If it weren't for Judd getting back in, and Elissa's letter from Rachel that got her fired up and back in the game (damn her, lol), McCrae would STILL be safe & off the block. There are only 8 HG's left, so they're all doing something right!! Andy/McCrae ALL THE WAY!!!!!

      Delete
  3. I agree it seems unfair that Judd gets to come back in...But I think it definitely adds a bit of fun to an otherwise boring game so far.. and Elvira winning was the only option to make this fun.. anyone else would have been another Amanda led vote which is really insulting to past game players (meaning how sad that these HG's are so friggin scared of one person they let her decide all votes).. so hopefully Elvira will shake things up a bit. But who knows.. her hatred for Aryan might be blinding.

    And yeah, McPussy's game is gross.. he's like a super floater... like a fatty turd.

    I actually prefer Elvira's spaced out valley girl vibe to Amandas neurotic adderal driven gabbing and crying jags.. and get the fuck out of the bed girl. jeez

    quick question: Was andy trying to check out judd's junk when he was chatting with him while showering? :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA1 aAAAHAHAHAHA! I said the same exact thing to my wife about Andy checking out Judd's junk! Whuz up Ms Lala? Keep it real, even when we don't agree, I still get you.

      Delete
  4. Another fantastic synopsis/critique, Colette! While it is weird that Production didn't tell J-U-DD chapter and verse what he could and couldn't say about the Jury House, it does seem to suggest that AG may be more hands-off than she has been in years past, which could explain why things aren't going so like clockwork. Sure, Elissa won HOH, just as she was preordained to do (how else would she have been able to stay totally safe for another week?), but I thought that Helen would win her way back in. J-U-DD seems like such a non-starter for, you know, a "brilliant human being." While I don't really want to lose Amanda, I'd do flips of joy to watch her and her (ick) husband squirm on the block all week long. I agree that it's time he went home. She's been getting entirely too much sex, which is probably why she's sucked so badly in competitions thus far. What she needs is some sexual frustration to light a fire under her ass, and the only way that's going to happen is for "Mickey" to leave. God, Elissa, don't screw this up!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm glad JUDD is back (somewhat). I enjoy the Podcast guy's (can't remember his name) imitation of JUDD for the first 5-10 seconds. When it goes on and on, my mind wanders. But, that's just me.
    Elvira can not think strategically. She is a personal type of thinking gal and that is what drives her. Remember her sister with her drive to get the good looking girls out right away? Way insecure. Elvira's insecurity is barely masked in her "I don't think about these people" and "they mean nothing to me" and so on.
    Again, Ms Lala, another great blog!!!!! Thanks for your efforts. Now, go do Yoga. You deserve it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I actually like McCray's game. Lay low and hide behind his meat shield. Let Amanda take all the heat.

    I have a feeling that Amanda will be going home this week. I hope if she does that McCray forms a threesome with Spencer and Judd and starts picking off the women. Oh, a guy can dream.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Another great and amusing article. I am glad Elvira is HOH – not because she is a good game player – she may be the worst in BB history, but because she will stir the house up like no one else because she has no fear and quite frankly no agenda for winning. For such a long time the power in the house has been held by Amanda and Helen; now the inmates are taking over the asylum. Judd coming back is great – it may be unfair, but BB is not about fairness, it is a television show first and foremost with ratings being the real winner. Everything that Helen tried to instill in Elvira has gone in one ear and out the other with regards to working with Aryan which suggests Elvira isn’t in it to win it. Elvira’s absolute obsession with Aryan will be the ruin of both of them. If Aryan and Amanda are the two left on the block this week, we will finally have a show! Can’t wait to hear the podcast tomorrow night.

    JayEs

    ReplyDelete
  8. I do not get why everyone seem to think that Ellissa's best strategy would be to work with Aaryn, even if she could put her differences aside, Aaryn had repeatedly shown that she is unable to make a move even when she had the numbers, she is a weak game player, she is good at the physical comps, but she does not have the mental strength to play her own game. So why would anyone want to work with her? We know the only reason she is still in the game is because Amanda controls her and as soon as she is no longer needed, buh bye..

    At this point Amanda has figured out that she cannnot control the noms this week so her paranoia and anxiety will ramp up to epic proportions and she is going to start feeding on her own, If I was Andy I would be worried, we all know that rodents will eat their own...so I give it another 24 hours and she will annoint the next one to go and the attacking will start, I just dont know who it will be. I am guessing Aaryn as she knows that she can wear Aaryan like a hat and can very easily recall all the early good old days, back when Aaryn was wearing her sheet and publically polishing her burnin' cross, she can play Aaryn like a cheap violyn and get that whole mean girl back in motion, that way she can divert attention away from both her and that thing that follows her around...however she is going to need 2 victims and I believe the other one will be Judd. But I dont think that will play so well this time.

    All I know is that Andy will be very interesting to watch this week as he knows that Ellissa doesnt trust him and since he has already told Judd that he is besties with Ellissa to try and get Judd to ally with him, however that backfired on him quite quickly when he walked in on the conversation between Ellissa and Judd and she stopped talking game and changed the subject, Judd had to have seen that Andy is talking some shit about what he can offer someone in the game.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "that thing that follows her around'.. lol classic

      and yeah will be great to see who amanda turns on to save herself. Andy would be amusing.

      Delete
  9. I am hoping that Amanda walks out the door next week. I am amazed at Elissa's obsession with Aaryn. Elissa has a personal Jihad against Aaryn. It is insane how much she loathes her. Her stated reason is she has ruined her game. What fucking game is that. The one where she rides Helen's coattails. The one where AG hands her the comps. It is amazing that she has totally ignored all of Helen's sage advise and is myopically focusing on Aaryn. looking forward to this weeks paranoia overload.

    ReplyDelete
  10. If I had a tail I would wag it!!! I love when the wrench gets flown into the machine so to speak.

    It is amazing that all the other house guests can walk upright given that they prove week after week to not have a spine and do whatever Amanda wants through fear and intimidation, and plain wearing down.

    They say Yoga is good for the spine, and I guess that is proving to be true. Elissa seems to be the only one showing she has one.......... and BTW, I am amazed that you would cut off your left tit for a $78 yoga mat. You probably spent more on alcohol to get yourself in a place where you could write this column..........

    Life is grand!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I have a theory about Elissa's single minded hatred of Aaryn. I have a feeling that back when the "Aaryn is a racist" firestorm was brewing, the DR kind of let slip some info to Elissa about it, perhaps to nudge their golden girl to start going after Aaryn. Aaryn took the ball and ran with it, and is still convinced that all of America hates Aaryn and it is her sole purpose in the game, as America's Hero, to take out the filthy racist demon. She probably feels like she is doing God and America's work. That's my theory, anyways.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's a good theory. She seems to be obsessed with calling out people for playing for the camera, but I think she plays for the camera more than any of them.

      That also makes sense with Helen's thing with bringing America into it and America loves 'moms" and the "good people" Elissa's love for Candice seems over the top too. She always stresses how classy Candice is and how successful she is. It's a sell job cos Candice was annoying and no one else in the house liked her.

      Delete
  12. I'm glad I found this blog. The best ever. I love Amandas game and obvious power. Helen is wrng about MCrae being manhandled by Amanda. I believe she loves him and is devoted to what he wants and his game, which is fucking crazy given she met him in the BB house.

    ReplyDelete
  13. That's the last comp Elvira should have won. It required doing 2 things at once plus cold water. I expected a yoga contest (you need to simmer down with the yoga trash talk) or maybe who can talk the slowest and make the least sense. I can't stand Elvira but if she one the McManda's out she should be given a Mandingo vibrating mat.

    ReplyDelete
  14. GO, Elissa......FINALLY....someone with a backbone...just hope she concentrates on mr and mrs McSkanky and leaves Aaryn for another day :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Noooooo, just last week Narcissa threatened to quit BB if she went to the jury!!!! How can ANY BB fan even root for her now?! To even THINK about self-eviction is sacrelige in the BB world!!

      Narcissa's HOH letter from Rachel pumped her up, plus her 'revenge' (vengeful feelings--isnt that non-Christian to wish for revenge??) for Helen's eviction. No HOH for her next week, & it's long past time for the house to evict her, so I foresee a little back door action headed her way. And if she quits and walks from jury in the name of her family........GRRRRRRR.........she will become a laughingstock and labeled THE worst sore loser this game has ever seen.

      Delete
  15. It seemed to me that the ball part of the competition was designed as a controlled variable to improve Elvira's chances because as we learned last week "I am Rachel's sister, they won't let me be sent home." By using the ball element, they can subtly improve her chances with adjustments to speed and loft one those flying in her direction without it being as obvious as comps in previous seasons.

    ReplyDelete
  16. That's an interesting theory... I will be watching closly on Sunday's broadcast to see if there really was an advantage to Elvira....

    ReplyDelete
  17. Can someone clarify why Julie kept saying all week long that for the first time in BB history a jury member would be returning to the game? Kayser came back, Brendan came back, Crazy James came back inside a giant gift box and I think it was Eric that cam back, it was in Marcellas's season, the season that Lisa won. (I think her name was Lisa. She had long brunette hair) It was the season that black Danielle was in the final 2. (No I am not being racist but everyone always thinks of Evel Dick's spawn Danielle when that name is mentioned. Anyway to my knowledge there has been at least 4 other people that have returned to the game in past seasons so why has Julie been saying this is the first time?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Christy and I have been having this conversation too. I believe that it is b/c they were all actually in the jury house vs. separate in sequester as had been in the past. Difference being that they could all compare notes in jury which could effect final voting

      Delete
  18. McMandumb's sleeping strategy is pure genius. Mastermind caliber stuff!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Seems pretty obvious the DR has been feeding Elissa a lot of information again. I'd bet that production outed the 3AM alliance to her.

    She doesn't trust Andy at all, McCrae and Aaryn are on the block, and Amanda is her 1st choice for replacement nom.

    Looks like she wants to eliminate Aaryn this week for personal reasons, and round up the randoms (Spencer, GM, and Judd) to unite and go after McCrae and Amanda.

    I understand what she's doing, but this is kind of a kamikaze style strategy. If any number of people win HOH next week, she could be in a really vulnerable spot and need POV to stay in the house.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Okay. Fine. Colette, you win. Elvira listens to Taylor Swift, she has to die...I mean go.

    Aryan & McRae were nommed. This was perfect. Elvira's going after the 2 couples w the option of backdooring the most obnoxious of the pairs - amanduh or VaGina,

    I don't understand the Ju-DD hate from these people. He did nothing to their games before, he's willing to start fresh, and yet they don't know how to play with that.



    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I so hope that one of these times when Amanda is pulling one of her faces, that instead of spitting up her drink she breaks out in tune and sings............"we are never, ever, ever, getting back together!"

      A girl can dream :-)

      Delete
  21. Watching Elissa LAUGH in Amanda face as she cries about how defeated she feels was delicious!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ummmmm, @Anonymous, your comment is even more evil than Narcissa's obnoxious cackles! Not such a nice person, eh?

      Delete
    2. I thought good for Elvira. I HATE Amanda and was was glad that she got a taste of her own medicine. If that makes me evil then I guess I am evil. Oh well.

      Delete
    3. ITA - keep on laughin' Elissa..it seems to really make mrs. McSkank mad. Speaking of Demanda - UGLY on the outside - UGLIER on the inside!!! The elder Mrs. Olsen must be freaking out 'bout now!! lmao

      Delete
  22. Either Eliza was double-crossing her double-cross or she has Aaryn totally on board to get Amanda out of the house...they were actually totally GIDDY together as the After Dark feeds went out last night...I wonder what happened after? I have my theory about how Eliza all the sudden got smart in this game...but it mostly entails production leading her by her nose into the promised land! All the power to her for finally listening to SOMEONE! This is the nightmare Amanda has been trying to suppress the whole game...

    ReplyDelete
  23. Well another week calls for another conspiracy theory, right? It never ceases to amaze me how the nature of the HGs seems to rub off on the viewers every season. Regarding this cast never have I seen in 16 seasons (15 BB US and 1 BB CA)so much done by so many so often to LOSE. Even the conspiracy theorists seem to have adopted a half-hearted approach. If they are so sure that production caused first Helen and then Candice to fall, how could they miss the same thing happening within seconds to Amanda and then Elissa? Clearly the BB gods were trying to save Vagina (GM) only the snake Amanaconda and Elvira somehow managed to save themselves. Furthermore, I am shocked by the conspiracy theorists lack of mentioning the throwing of the balls. Amanaconda mentioned that she knew one of the hurlers and even she did not go on to say that Elvira was getting tossed soft lobs and not the rockets that hit Helen in the neck and bruised Amanaconda's boob. Come on folks get your heads in the game you can't leave opportunities like that on the table. Even the DR is getting sloppy. For weeks Elvira has been steadfast (even if stupidly so) about wanting Aryan out and her noms reflected that except for Vagina (GM) not going on the block with her. Now a DR session later and Elvira is making all nice with Aryan in order to target Amanaconda. Seriously guys you could not have waited for this til after the veto was played? Surely the McManda haters are all a twitter about this by now, but as pizza boy (McCrae) tried to point out to Elvira if you don't put both halves of a duo on the block then one can win veto and take the other off. Just for the poetic irony I now am left wanting this very thing to happen to Elvira with Amanaconda winning POV and saving her precious puppy. I don't have any faith that this will happen, but if it does the conspiracy theorists will be at it again that production somehow managed to save Amanda. Guess the comp is gonna have to be something like "Bully Pulpit" where soap boxes are arranged in a circle and the players have to talk one another into stepping down only if you are quiet for thirty seconds you are out.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Xmanda winning something? Nobody is going to buy that! This is BB's "jump the shark" moment.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Who is the gorgeous real estate agent? Hell, I wouldn't "tap" Amanda with your dick, if you had one. I've seen better looking "Lot Lizards" (truck stop whores) than Amanda. And those "ladies" (I'm being charitable calling them "ladies"), aren't known for their looks.

    Sadly, the POV competition must have either been "The Biggest Skank" or "Most Capable of giving blow jobs to grease balls" and of course, Amanda excells at either

    I'm still not getting all this love for the skank and pizza boy. IMHO, these two make the lowest white trash appear superior in comparison. And my girl Collette disses Honey Boo Boo?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was a big tit contest. She beat out Elvira by a nipple. Poopy never had a chance.

      Delete
  26. At this point, I respectfully disagree with your love for Amanda, Lala. However, after weeks of watching idiots fall prey to Pushy-Tits masterful manipulation, I have to say she may deserve to win. I do not think she is a bully either. Pushy-tits has a way of learning things about a house guest, and using those things to manipulate or hurt them later on. Scary... but brilliant. Evil...but good game wise. If someone can win no HOH competitions ever, and still get the HOH to put whoever the non-winning individual wants on the block week after week, then damn there are a shit load of sheep in that house.

    Everyone mad about the fact that Pushy-Tits won veto today, well this is what makes this crap worth watching. The constant power shifts and unexpected wins is how some of us get by; especially with this cast of fools. Maybe there is a conspiracy. I don't know if there is anything anyone can do about it at this point.

    Fantastic Recap as usual Lala, and I die of laughter whenever you accurately mimic Elvira and VaGina's horrible pattern of speech!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Funny thing--later Elissa admits this is the yoga mat she brought with her! Because it was lighter. And she begged for a free travel one from Manduka for the repeated references. Just a spoiled bia*** imo. And couldn't she have a freaking closet full of these things with her hubby's supposed $$? She is just a never-happy whiner. She seemed very loopy, like my sister used to after getting her scripts refilled.... All the giggles and staring at people looking for a cue as to what to respond because her brain wasn't going to help her...

    BTW, in your photo, why are there so many balls on the ground around Elissa? She has so many in her tube, I expected to see LESS on the ground under her feet. But I counted over twice there.... And E was the only HG who did not complain of the balls hitting them full force on face, neck, boob, chest...not where someone should throw a ball at such full speed--blood clots happen and people die. This comp was at minimum a passive aggressive spectacle! Should have been entitled "Let's hurt the HGs!" Should just let bashers get in line and throw at the HG of their choice! NK.

    Love your blog! TY So many of us Amanda fans get to feeling pretty lonely--now I send them here for giggles! ♥

    ReplyDelete
  28. So when Elissa falls and is hanging on the ball holder, the platform stops moving till she gets back on and settled.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Oh my gawwwshhhh, like, that was sooooooo freaky, like, it didn't even move. Can you believe that? mmmmmmm "
      *gags*
      The number of balls at her feet wasn't missed by the fans, either, nor was Eli-see-ya being the only one not bruised or injured.
      Production has never been so blatant before......how Shady. lmfao
      GO Amanda!

      Delete
    2. Um Ok, so now Ellissa is responsible for the camber of the BB15 back yard now? How the hell does the amount of balls at her feet indicate anything? They are balls, when they hit things they bounce away and roll to a stop in random patterns, but now she is somehow controlling gravity and physics? Look I get that people dont like her, but that is just ridiculous.

      How about we talk about Amanda bringing up personal things about people's families into the game, while Ellissa has no problem throwing crap back at Amanda, the difference is that the ammo was given to Ellissa by Amanda, all the things that Amanda is crying about is stuff that she told people herself when she first entered the house. Who the hell talks about their possible pregnancy and having herpes to total strangers on national TV? I have never heard Ellissa bring up any of the other houseguests families but Amanda goes there quite often when she realizes that she has no power over Ellissa.

      Amanda is soooo desperate for attention she has lost all of her personal boundaries and is really showing her self to be pretty unsavory in real life too! This isnt game Amanda we are seeing, this is who Amanda really is, I am wondering if those meds she is taking is something other than Adderal??

      Delete
  29. I realize as I write this you already have a new post up, but I can't read it since I don't have live feeds and I hate spoilers. However, I really wanted to comment this week and first say that you're my favorite BB and Survivor blogger, even though we disagree sometimes.

    I'm so happy Elvira won, since she was probably the only one who would've gone after the 3 am alliance. I can't stand people following Amanda lock-step, since she is super arrogant and all around annoying in her DR confessionals (like Elvira, and Aryan, and Helen, yes I agree). For once I'm grateful for Elvira's thick-headed stubbornness, rendering Amanda's charms and overall power of speech useless.

    I also wanted to say real quick that I still hold a good-natured grudge against you for basically giving up last season when Dan was working his mastery. I thought his tactics were the best in the history of BB, making it very exciting towards the end. This season was looking to be a snoozefest until this week, since no one was daring to go against Amanda, but now with Elvira winning and Judd coming back I hope for a lot of unexpected evictions, with my default favorite McCrae making it to the end and winning it all!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Amanda is one shitty actress.

    ReplyDelete