Saturday, August 20, 2011

Open Post

Ok so this is what is called an Open Post. I fucking hate this show, I hate the cast, I hate the lack of drama, I hate listening to them talk about fishing and curtains and fiances. I HATE IT.

So, in protest, this bitch refuses to blog today. I'll let you guys do it. Show me what you got in the comments. Here's what you have to work with:

Jeff has nominated Kalia and Porsche for eviction.

Jeff assigned Daniele, Kalia, and Porsche to be Have-Not's for the week. Kalia cried.

America (assholes) voted to give the Have-Nots hard-boiled eggs and jalapenos. Kalia cried. She can't eat jalapenos. Shelly laughed wickedly in the backyard.

Big Brother denied Daniele a birthday party in favor of celebrating Jordan shedding her Humilitard.

Jordan danced like an insipid fool in the backyard with Adam.

Rachel pouted over god knows what.

The plan is to vote out Daniele. If that doesn't work out, they'll target Kalia.

To Jeff's surprise, Jordan wants to get rid of Adam before Porsche. Jordan has a feeling that Adam could slide through and win (kind of like she did in BB11?).

I have to take off for a quick jaunt so I will be back on Tuesday. I'm going to be honest though - I'm losing steam very very quickly. I may shave back the posts to only a couple of times a week. We'll see. Comment it out bitches and have a great day!

Watch Big Brother 13 on SuperPass!


  1. Jeff needs to rid himself of Rachel. Production needs to lighten up on the button. If we can hear all about Shelly and her financial accomplishes then we should be able to see Dani in her birthday sash! Please Dani win this POV! We need you in this house for any real BB value! Lastly Jordan is right about getting rid of Adam his BB knowledge is deep but also very annoying! Time for some smelly hard boiled eggs! ggrrrr

  2. I say get rid of them all they all suck Josie FTW

  3. Here's hoping Dani wins !

    Confession: I haven't watched the show or read the feeds since EvelDick left the building.

    I got bored that early.

    I catch the facts on another blog... and read Colette because she's highly entertaining !

  4. Note to CBS: If Dani is gone there is absolutely no reason to watch Big Brother for the rest of the season because the other HG pukes suck !

  5. Seems to me that only Dani will make big moves. Jeff is playing it safe - at least with his nominations. I really want Dani to stay just to keep something going. Kalia and Porsche can't pull anything off without her. I'd like a newbie to win, just cuz I think the vets had their chance. (Let's not talk about Boston Rob in Survior ... he soooooo deserved his 3rd try win! He played those birds like he was playing a fiddle!) If a vet has to win then I want it to be Dani because I can't stand Rachel, really - who can??? - Jordan already won, and as wonderful as Jeff is, I don't think he's played the game as well or as hard as Dani. I totally disagree with her Evel dad. She's playing and has pulled it out of her butt twice when she really needed it. My non-vet to win is Adam - he's played a good social game and frankly, I just like him better than Shelly even though she entertains me sometimes and her daughter is adorable. For the record... as we all know, this cast is boring and we need Rachel to have a few good smack downs before she gets booted. ~greengina

  6. wow. i vented on other blogs about the game and how bb has controled this whole outcome,however,i still think dani will win out. rach will be back doored this week and jeff taken out in double eviction.this is a lame cast thats why dani is running the show.but its tv and sometimes it just sucks.i think i will go watch sesame street now. at least i know who pulling their strings.

  7. this season was flawed the second the first vet entered the door. the house was immediately divided in two. One of the keys to winning big brother is STICK TO THE PLAN. The newbies were going to vote out whatever 6 players came in next. But as soon as JJ entered the room, they became a bunch of groupie star-fuckers. Danielle is the only reason worth watching for me. She did make a mistake by trying to backdoor Jeff. Too soon. But that was b/c she was desperate to save Dom. Of all the newbies, he was her best option as an ally once she broke away from the other vets. True, picking Dom was like picking the tallest midget for a pickup basketball game (the dope did throw a veto when HE was on the block). Still, Dom's blunder doesn't hold a candle to the awesome brilliance of Kalia's HOH. I'm surprised she didn't put herself on the block. Adam might be the worst cast member EVER. Even past players who didn't win any comps were still interesting or entertaining (Enzo). Adam adds nothing. Bacon? 90210?? Really??? Everything he does in front of the camera seems forced and fake. Stop with the dancing. Poor porshia gets a lot of crap on other sites for getting fat (which I think is cruel..she might have put on a few pounds but nothing crazy...I feel bad for girls and the crap they go through.). Finally, I see cbs manipulating a Jeff/Jordan/ Rachel/(hopefully) Dani final 4. Remember folks, this is not reality. It's reality tv. It's about ratings. Would you watch a finale night of Porsche/Adam/ Shelly battling it out??

  8. well lets try again.its time for the girls to pay their dues to bb and cbs fans.let them sweat a little and taste the fruits of their labor. this is code.

  9. yes i agree. its a tuff game and when evil dick left. the script was flipped. you do what you can with what you got and move on for the fans of the game and make it entertaining. i think bb is well aware of this and are doing their best to relate that to the cast. keep rach and dani in the game. thats always fun.

  10. Very disappointed in you, lala. :(

  11. I have a brilliant plan for if Dani somehow gets put up as a replacement against Kalia. Kalia should just start eating real food, like Jen from BB8, make herself a turkey burger, maybe some pasta, she'll get called into the DR and get a penalty vote. Come out and immediately start singing an M.J. song, another penalty vote. Continue this until she has more penalty votes than real votes. Everyone wins in this scenario. Kalia gets to eat and sing all week and then leave the BB house (since it's soooo stressful) and Daniele gets to stay.

  12. Don't get mad at me. It's not my fault the show sucks.

  13. I decided I hated the show last night when Production decided it wasn't really Daniele's birthday until Sunday and decided that Jordan shedding her humilitard was interesting. They FORCED her into making a big deal about it when she didn't want to and FORCED Daniele to remove her birthday crown. I always liked big brother because it showed people becoming animalistic under the pressure of competition...but now the whole thing is overly produced to the point where nothing is natural. Production is behind the scenes pulling all of the strings and I am definitely not on the same page as to what they find entertaining. I thought last season was the worst season of al time, but I think this season might be taking the cake. Obviously I see now that last season wasn't a fluke, but rather the beginning of a downward spiral. There is really nothing that makes me want to watch the show at all, let alone the feeds. Production seems to be doing all of this shot for ratings, but I think that if they just let shit alone the show would be more interesting and the ratings would come naturally.

    One last thing. Jordan or Jeff WILL win this show. This was decided before the show even started and it is obvious every single day. I can't understand how CBS fell in love with these two and let that absurd love bring down an entire show.

  14. I don't think that Jeff and Jordan are even a couple anymore. I don't see any boyfriend/girlfriend affection. I'm not saying they should be dry humping like brendon and Rachel, but there's no kissing, holding hands, hugging...nothing. they are saying they are a couple to be on tv. It's fake like everything else on this show.

  15. As long a Rachel is there I refuse to watch, how in the world could one with a degree be seen with that Las Vegas drink hustler, bar fly. She is the ugliest girl ever on BB.

  16. If Dani gets back-doored and voted out I will not watch the remainder of the season. It wouldn't be the first time, either.

  17. bb, should evict the whole cast in a surprize octet move and bring back the 8 remaining runner ups from the show auditions and call it the crazy eights.

  18. What happened to the rest of August being normal, we need you to blog more often, we need our fix. PLEASE!!!!!

  19. Rachel proved once again what an idiot she is when she was trying to provoke Dani by taunting her about turning 25. Quote "Like, one time, when I turned 25", as if it's a random recurring event! She's so STUPID!

  20. I'm with the others, lets get rid of everyone and lets start all over. This cast is very lame.

  21. I totally agree, Lady Lala - Jeff won the veto, so unless a miracle happens, Dani's history and I'm done - next month Survivor starts - right. Let's all hope it's a bunch of NEW and INTERESTING people. See you in September!!

  22. Adios !! BB13 ... hopefully between now and next summer CBS will grow a brain and return to the original format or shit can the whole show !!

  23. I've watched two episodes in their entirety... both of Brendon's evictions. I have watched maybe 10 minutes of the other previous shows. I didn't get live feeds.

    I only read the "live feed discussion" thread and I don't read it all. And I'll look at the photos/screenshots. Bringing back the Re-treads blew my enjoyment because of their feelings of entitlement and "production's" involvement.

    I use to live for the SUMMER and nothing else ever got completed... not true for this year.. even my closet is cleaner! ....

    If next year is "All-Stars" or they bring back ANYONE into the game... I will not even do what little I'm doing now. And my addiction will end. I can sympathize with you and not wanting to write about it.. I can barely read about it!

    Notice how "I" channeled Rachel and talked about "I" "I" "I" ... LOL!

  24. If Jeff does get Dani out of the house, I hope that at least she gets America's vote at the finale. She deserves SOMETHING for putting up with every ones crap,especially Rachel!

  25. Who took the chess men and the other stuff?

  26. Earlier this evening I tweeted this:
    I know I'm going to sound insane, but I think Jeff's super long DR session last night was him practicing this POV puzzle.

    I tweeted it as a joke, but the more I think about it the more I really believe it. Jeff came out of the DR yesterday and someone, Shelly or someone said something about how he had been in there forever and how his face was all red. He replied saying something about how it was the longest DR he ever had, but claimed he kept messing stuff up because he had a beer earlier.

    I call bullshit. Today again there were repeated references to him have more frequent and longer DRs. I get that he won veto, but what was with last night?

    Suddenly today, idiot Jeff who can't spell, who has long mentioned he can't do a puzzle to save his life, suddenly and magically beats Daniele in a puzzle. When the feeds came pack from the PoV Porsche even called it out how strange it was and asked Jeff he he had done a lot of puzzles as a kid, to which he replied "Nope" and said he just got lucky or something.

    For some gut, my instinct, everything tells me he spent yesterday in the DR learning the puzzle. Production didn't want Daniele to win because people would have called Bullshit. They didn't want Kalia or Porsche to win because that would have given Daniele no chance of survival and equally no suspense. I'll bet they worked something out with Jeff so that he would win.

    Notice how he won't even tell Jordan what he plans to do. Isn't that really odd?? He says he wants everyone to be surprised.

    This isn't me being bitter or something. To me it really is just a show. I don't really care what happens. Whether it be Jeff or Dani or anyone, I don't like the idea of production interfering or cheating or bullshit.

  27. Part 2 of my conspiracy theory: Brendon wasn't voted back in. CBS rigged the vote. We all know Brendon didn't get a million votes. Brendon was put back into the game to save Jeff's ass. Dominic would have only made the force against jeff and Jordan stronger whereas putting Brendon back distracted Dani from Jeff for one more week. Think about it- If Brendon hadn't been put back in, who would have gone home last week?

    Also, and I have no confirmation for this, but word is that at some point tonight Rachel let it slip that her and Brendon were guaranteed Jury

  28. Pleeeeeeeeease....CBS could not trust that these HGs (morons) (sometimes even dumber and loose lipped after booze supplied by CBS) could keep traps shut about production manipulation and rigged comps. If there really is a scandal erupting, then history will repeat itself and Les Moonves should kiss his job Buh-bye( and Chen-bot wife unemployed too)

  29. Agree with most that just about everything about this season of BB totally tanks.

    That includes Julie's Chenbot ramblings on the Thursday live shows, where she reads that insipid questions script, while each house-guest enters the DR waiting for her to finish & address them as to whom they wish to vote out.


    Just can the preamble & ask for the vote choice.

    CBS made a major mistake in both bringing back the oldies vets & seeming to manipulate the game for what the network appeared to believe would be the majority viewer's approval.

    If the producer's are smart, (know that's a stretch), they'll pay attention to great blog's like this one, & learn not to repeat these decisions next season,.... or,... suffer the consequences of some serious viewer numbers fall-off.

    "No Vet Players Returning, & Let The Game Progress Naturally Without Production Cheating Interference's!"

  30. I could never do what you do Lala, and to try would be villainy. An insult to your fairy dust lands. I haven't been watching in honesty. Only hope now is to have America vote back Dom... maybe? Also for America to vote out Rachel, Jordan and for the fortune teller to tell them how this whole season was a mistake from the get go. I wish Kalia, Dani, Porsche would just self-evict, Double-Elimination would vote out Adam and Shelly and for Rachel? Eh, who cares... so Jordan and Jeff could just win all ready. On to Amazing Race! Also... there's always BBUK.

  31. prettyplainjo makes some interesting observations. I too thought Brendon deing voted by America was a total crock. Every BB site I visited had surveys showing Cassie overwhelmingly wanted back. Regardless, Brendon was ALWAYS LAST - lowest percentage wanted him back. That really cemented my thoughts that the show was being manipulated. This puzzle-training scenario would not surprise me - reminds me of "Quiz Show" But what do you expect when we give billions of dollars (more) to bailout fatcat bankers while 20% of America is out of work? USA manipulation is a fact of life, kiddies.

  32. Last night I fell asleep thinking about how when Evel Dick left all of the vets wanted to quit because they thought they had no shot.


    Think about that. Think about how after that vet after vet after vet won HoH.

  33. If Daniele gets backdoored, who do I cheer for? JordaN TO dumbass her way to 500 large again?

    Jeff and Jordan working w Rachel is idiotic. After this week, if Dani is gone, the numbers go to the newbies. I realize Shelly is a Jeff/Jor acolyte but she hates Rachel as much as us. No way she's helping the red plaque any further in the game.

    Big Jeff is a Big Doosh

  34. Ok. Lets put all of this into perspective. Yes, Big Jeff has become a douche that spent all of BB11 sitting on his ass using what he pulled out of his nose to string Jordan (and America) along. Even with his fingers up to the 2nd nuckle, I still liked him, as did everyone at CBS based on his career path for the last two years. Yes, he was a good guy back then, pulling Gumby from his nose, and after a close inspection, flinging it across the back yard of the BB house.

    This guys ego has grown to its current size so that it can balance out the vast emptiness of his chosen mates cute-as-a-button cranium.

    At the current position of the cast, Jeff stands to become The Puppet Master. Everyone in the house will bow down and follow his orders like a gay Navy captain at lights out. He has intimidated all the girls in the house and has even the guys, Adam and Shelly, shakin in their Birkenstocks while they follow his every commmand.

    Yes, we all want Rancid Rachel out and most everyone wants Devilish Dani out. I however am rooting for Dani. I think she has just enough bitterniss and attitude to really make some waves in what's left of our late-Summer entertainment.

    If Rancid and Deveish were to leave on Thursday, since we know it's a double eviction, we all might as well cancel our Superpass and go volunteer at the local retirement village. You all know there are some horney old birds living in those places that we could watch many a hip shatter trying to map out the Kama Sutra, as we all search tirelessly for the closest knitting neadle to skewer our own eyeballs. I digress... Anyway, If those two vixons are gone, Jeff will controll everything in that house from Adam jacking off thinking of Tori Smelling (he!he!) to Kalia's bowel movements. I hate to say it, but as much as I want Rachel gone, if we have any hope at all of BB13 and BBAD having any entertainment value, then they both must stay and Kalia needs to go first quickly followed by Big Jeff in the fast forward eviction. Which will most likely lead to Jordan self evicting thinking she will go directly to the Jury House and spending the lazy days of late summer in Jeff's shadow. Oh how she will whine like a cat in heat when she discovers it will result in a one-way ticket right back to hooterville.

    In regards to the rest of the dead weight, Porsche is good to have around just for the amount of idiocy she spews from the celulitic craters that make up her enlarging ass and theighs. Even though the artierial flow issue to her brain does clear from time to time and she does do something that shows she has active brainwaves, it's not enough to warrent her a threat.

    My biggest fear right now is that Dani will depart followed by Kalia on Thursday, leaving Jeff in command again with Rachel in a close second. The best thing that will come out of this senerio is that Shelly will end up rolling Rachel up and punting her over the wall showing everyone how she won the homecoming game when she was the quarterback for her high school football team.

    For know, I guess we are all stuck with the hours of endless dribble leaking from the many orifices scattered around the back yard.

  35. Allthat848 wrote:
    We find ourselves on our own today. And another day of watching our pets in the cage of the Big Brother house. I find our friends akin to dogs at a pound trying to find the best way to get along and to figure out how to get by til it’s time for them to win and get a new family. I want to give a rundown of how I see our little doggies and what kinds of dogs they would be. Jeff our Siberian Husky is a nice looking dog with a bit of a temper. He tries to be the leader of the pack. Right by his side is his faithful companion, a Border Collie, Jordan. She is faithful, cute and has nice hair. All the dogs think she’s dumb but she’s a pretty smart puppy. Both of them sit court while watching their minions and waiting for the right time to pounce.

    In our pound we also have a Rat Terrier (Shelly), this dog is sneaky, kinda rough looking and tries to annoy the other dogs without getting caught. She is stirring up commotion and trying to get the other dogs to turn on each other while she sits back and enjoys. She learned some of the dogs would be getting terrible treats and inside she barked and yelped up a storm.

    Our loveable St. Bernard(Adam) tried to be friends with all the dogs and felt maybe this week will be his week to show everyone that he is good enough and can do tricks just like all the other dogs.

    Then there was the terrible trio. They are known to all as the ones eating terrible treats, thinking they were in charge and controlling the pound when it was all meaningless pretending until the Husky (Jeff) and Collie(Jordan) ran things again. The terrible trio consists of our Chihuahua(Kalia) who we call Blackie, just for the heck of it. Blackie is an annoying lap dog, she thinks she’s one of the big dogs, but she’s really small potatoes, she is begging for attention wherever she can get it and she just wants to be loved. The second in our trio is our Poodle(Porche), she wants to be the pretty one at the dog show. She tries to be cute with all of her different styles of dress and ways to fluff her hair, but underneath it all, she is really just an annoying, yappy, furry dog. And lastly, we have the majestic Greyhound(Dani), she is in charge of the terrible trio and she just wants to come out the winner. She has been trained to win. She has the technology. She can be rebuilt. She is the grand bionic dog. She has no emotions. She just wants to win.

    Lastly, we have one more dog. She is a Jack Russell(Rachel). She’s our mentally challenged dog. She’s a little bipolar. She tries to be friendly but sometimes can’t do it. She has her moments of being a good tempered dog, sometimes she goes over the top and needs a puppy prozac.

    So, our terrible trio will work together to try to keep their fearless leader safe. The Greyhound(Dani) will try to catch the rabbit and win the race against all odds. The Rat Terrier(Shelly) will continue to stir things up while always trying to keep her eye on the biscuit. Our St. Bernard(Adam) will do all his loveable tricks while likely falling short of the finish line. The Husky(Jeff) and the Collie(Jordan) will win everyone over with their looks and charm and before all the dogs in the kennel club know it, they’ll be in the final four. The Poodle(Porche) will keep training for the Kennel Club Dog Show and make pretty. She will care only about her appearance and like Narcissus, will eventually cause her own demise. Blackie, the Chihuahua(Kalia) will keep yapping and will leave the day care long before she’s ready. She’ll be at home wondering what happened and look back at how stupid she did everything. Lastly, our Jack Russell(Rachel), she will meander through the days trying to manage her emotions, bit her doggy tongue and hope to mentally work her way to the finish line. That’s how I see our group of animals in a cage. It’s like puppy pound, everyone wants to be picked and only one gets to go home with the good family.

  36. I take exception with the last rude ass comment. Let's call Kalia "blackie" for the heck of it? Really? You are truly a jackass.

  37. Prettyplainjo.....I think you are so right, in fact, I am sure of it! It's as clear as can be and I can't believe I never thought of it before. I'm sure CBS cheated in the DR. Remember how impossibly fast Jordan guessed her answer in the contest where Hasselhoff came into the house earlier this season? Now this whole season makes sense to me. I hate CBS!

  38. I don't understand how most of you are saying how much Dani deserves to win. She was a whiny bitch on her season and won because of her dad. On this season she is a whiny bitch without the help of her dad and she is on the way out because she has made HORRIBLE games moves. First she tried to break up her alliance way to early in the game and got caught. Then as a result loses her number one ally (Dom). Her next move is to allign herself with Kalia (are you serious?). Then with her and Kalia being in power for 3 WEEKS straight the other side only lost ONE person. She actually allowed Lawon to be put up on the block and voted out and in comes Brendon. Now she is crying in the corner about how unfair it is that Jeff is going to BD her when she tried to do the same thing to him. At least she had the chance to win the Veto but she didn't Jeff won. She keeps telling everyone that it is just a game and not to take anything personal but it sure looks like Princess Dani can't take her own advice since she is already threatening to cause chaos in the house when she goes up. She was in the best spot in the entire house the minute she got the Golden Key. She was making friends with everyone in the house and wasn't on anyone's radar I guess getting out from under Daddy's shadow was more important then winning. Bye-bye Dani.

  39. Online Big Brother is speculating that Rachel might be pregnant due to her period being 2 weeks late along with Brenchel's spectacular failure at proper birth control usage.

    If it's true, Brendon just flushed his Ph.D down the crapper.

  40. Kahlia & Adam make this season impossible to watch.

    The eating & disgusting things Kahlia does.

    The endless mugging for the camera from Adam (please, BB, screen out uber-fans).

    Come to think of it: Porsche, too. The dullness. The gym suits. Everyday....

    Shelley at least makes it semi-interesting. Her integrity, though, is wearing.

  41. Rachel can't be 2 weeks late; she had her period on July 31st.

  42. After this season of BB I am sure I will be a big fan on watching paint dry....yawn.

    What a bunch of pussies in this house I wish I could step into the way back machine and bring back Dick, at least there would be real drama.

    Who ever cast this buch of melodramatic wussies should be freaking fired..pronto.

    My only joy is now to wait for the GLAAD bandwagon to steam roll that smug Chi-town, no real girlfriend having, frat boy wannabee asshole aka BIG JEFF.
    and if he is in a relationship with DUMBO aka the floater of all floaters then I am the king of Spain, these two are just good pals that bump uglies every time on of them visits from out of town.
    At this point I will bite the bullet and throw a vote to big red...simmer down..simmer down.. the tramp is in her second summer and her emotions are akin to the world's biggest roller coaster and she will need the $$$$ for mental counseling after the show is over and her and Brendum are split.
    Overall the season is very boring, I never thought I would miss ENZO and his carniverous table manners....bangin' yo...
    PEACE, Sausage...

  43. I really can't remember the last time I watched the feeds. Every time I turn it on they are sitting around doing nothing. I lost a lot of respect for the show when Brendon was "voted" back on. This was clearly rigged. I agree with an above poster that CBS/DR should stop manipulating everything and then things would be more interesting. Also give them more alcohol. One beer each isn't enough for anyone. I could go on for days. But my point is that I was glued to my computer last summer watching. Now I have to force myself to even watch the show on tv. It also KILLED me when they played that one game and said that Rachel is from Vegas. No CBS Rachel is from Concord NC. She is just living in Vegas. I wish she would stop wearing her college shirt, she is giving WCU a bad name

  44. What a turn of events, Jeff was a cry baby, rotten rachel is going to commit sucide. And that big stupid farmer don't have a clue.

  45. I don't understand the big to do over "blackie" with Kalia. First of all, her supposed sex/relationship blog name is Blackie Collins. Second, in some Eastern language, Kalia means "blackie" which is an insult (from what I stumble on searching on Google). Kind of weird that she made such a stink about an innocent comment that NO ONE meant as an insult or to be racist. Is the word black completely off-limits, now? Why did SHE choose the name "Blackie" for her nom de plume?