Monday, July 29, 2013

Thorny Balls

(What is wrong with this picture?)

A passing comment. A mumble on the wind. A teeny tiny little droplet of syllables. So seemingly harmless yet, over time, it can grow thorns. Razor sharp little daggers to pierce the soul and let all the happiness ooze out leaving a lifeless wet noodle in its wake. If you dwell on it, the burrs will multiply and stick clinging to your hair, your sweater vests, your comfy woolen socks... Best to shake off the ugly and smile a toothy grin. Best to pretend you never heard it at all. Best to hold your head high... and your middle finger higher. Let's recap, shall we?

The day began under a lazy haze. After an eventful POV Saturday night, the Houseguests happily slept away half of Sunday. Of course Helen has been up since the crack of dawn prancerizing hither and thither and being all around awful. J-U-DD and Elvira (Elissa) are somewhat early risers as well. And this is where we begin... outside listening to, "Hnmm mnmm ahummina hummina hnmm mnmm."

J-U-DD and Elvira are discussing who they'll be friends with after this season ends. J-U-DD tells Elvira that he thinks Aryan likes her now. Elvira replies, "Oh wow! I feel like the luckiest girl in the world now! Hnmm mnmm." And then she rolled her eyes and launched into another one of her 18 hour long rants about how she would never associate with someone who says derogatory remarks... "I'd never be friends with someone like that, hnmm mnmm. It's all about people's character. Just because they go from mean to nice doesn't change who they are, unh." Pot meet kettle. If we tally up our score cards of people who have said mean things in the house, Elvira would be champion of the universe.

In addition to hurling insults with unparalleled aplomb, Elvira is a master whiner. And we are once again treated to her bitching and moaning about how all the girls in the house are so mean to her. They always talk about her, hnmm mnmm, and say like the meanest things. Mind you, this is coming from the girl who told Amanda to her face that she was disgusting and J-U-DD that he was a crazy ridiculous liar. Speaking of J-U-DD, listening to this his eyes kind of glaze over and we all smile happily to ourselves knowing he's floating along that Xanax highway of his.

Evira then asks J-U-DD what he thinks of Amanda. J-U-DD says he really likes Amanda. Elvira replies, "Hnmm mnmm, people in the house are saying you want her out." J-U-DD brushes the cobwebs out of his face and asks, "Who said that? I never said that." Elvira tells him that like 3 people said it. J-U-DD asks her if it was Candice, Howard and Spencer. Elvira tells him no and then asks, "So you never said Amanda made you mad by picking your nominations?" J-U-DD tells Elvira that Amanda didn't pick his nominations at all. Amanda wanted Howard on the block, but J-U-DD never nominated him. This may sound relatively innocuous, but here is what you need to know. Helen was the one going around the house telling people that J-U-DD was all broken up and shattered that Amanda was running his HOH. It was Helen, Elvira's best good friend, that has been spreading these lies. Is Elvira starting to suspect that Helen isn't 100% trustworthy? Will the two eventually turn on one another? I hope so!

Aryan then comes outside - which is Elvira's cue to run away and hide. J-U-DD asks Aryan who she is going to put on the block as a replacement nominee (Spencer won POV). Aryan tells him she is definitely putting Candice up, but she doesn't really care if Candice or Howard goes home. J-U-DD mumbles that it would be silly to get rid of Candice right now because Howard is a much bigger threat and can win HOH next week. I am inclined to agree with J-U-DD on this. Production will do whatever they can to save and protect Howard. And if by some miracle he survives the week, expect next week's HOH to be a "Name that book in the Bible" comp.

Inside, we find Helen and Andy in the cockpit. Like I discussed on the Big Brother Gossip Show this weekend, Helen has one thing on her mind and that is JURY. Jury this, Jury that, hurry hurry hurry, let's get these people to Jury. Her entire game strategy is stacking that Jury with people who will vote for her to win. So, when you wonder why Howard is going before Candice it's because Helen doesn't trust Howard to vote for her to win. Helen's worry after Howard is Spencer and how he could possibly vote were he to get to Jury.

Helen asks Andy if he thinks Spencer knows about the deal she made with Aryan (if Aryan won HOH, she would let Helen's alliance pick her noms). Andy tells her that Spencer absolutely knows about the deal because Aryan told him about herself. Helen then asks Andy if he thinks Spencer will go after her if he wins HOH. Andy tells her that he doesn't think so. He also tells her that he can control Spencer because they're really close (Ha!). Helen brings up Jury again and worries about letting certain people get too far. Andy then tells Helen that he wants Elvira out sooner rather than later. He doesn't like the fact that she's a loose cannon. Helen nods and says, "For sure", but honestly she wants Elvira there for the long haul. Helen not only knows she can win against Elvira, but she knows that Elvira is most likely a Jury vote she's got in the bag.

Helen then tells Andy that it was Jessie who came up with the plan to keep Aryan safe. True, Jessie was anti-Eyebrows (Kaitlin), but Helen is the one who told Aryan that if she won HOH, the alliance should control her nominations. Helen loves taking credit for huge moves that Amanda makes, but she hates taking credit for shady moves she makes herself. Personally, I don't find anything wrong with Helen wanting to control Aryan's HOH, but it really chaps her ass that Spencer and others now know about it. Speaking of Amanda, Helen is obsessed with Amanda and McCrae NOT going to Jury together. She doesn't want Amanda voting for McCrae to win over Helen. Again, and totally out of nowhere, Andy says how much he wants Elvira out. Helen automatically nods and mumbles, "Sure, sure." She's totally lying.

Andy then tells Helen that J-U-DD was upset with her yesterday for feeling bad that Howard was crying after nominations. J-U-DD became convinced that Helen would flip and save Howard. Helen nods absently, but she is really still deep in thought over building her ideal Jury. She tells Andy that they have to get rid of Aryan because the longer she stays around, the stronger she makes Amanda and McCrae.

And here is where things gets interesting. Here is where I cleverly reference back to my opening paragraph. For some reason, Helen decides to tell Andy that there are people in the house that think he is floating through the game. Andy asks her who is saying that. Helen tells him J-U-DD and other people. Helen then tells him that people have also said how Andy constantly pops into everyone's conversations. The strained look of hiding pain that flashed across Andy's face in that moment was miraculous. In one split second we caught a glimpse of his entire being crumbling. All the bones and gristle and ginger parts began to buckle, but he quickly snaps out of it and declares, "I'm happy people think I'm a floater. You have to choose when to make a strategic move and now is not my time."

So, yes, Andy is happy to be called a floater. In fact, he's so happy he immediately corners J-U-DD in the Storage Room and tells him how much he loves people thinking he's a floater. Up until this point in time, I think Andy was convinced that he is a hardcore gamer. To hear the word floater attached to himself is freaking him out something fierce. But, Andy is Andy. He'll dust himself off, accept the floater label, and tell everyone it was part of his grand master flash plan all along. Before Andy scurries off to tell more people how much he loves being thought of as a floater, he tells J-U-DD to stay on Candice's good side in case she gets HOH next week.

Outside, we find Helen and Spencer in the hammock talking about Candice. Helen says that Candice isn't helping Howard's game at all. In fact, Candice threatened Helen the other day in the cockpit and Helen just can't let it go. Apparently, Candice was trying to push Helen to make a deal to get her alliance to keep Howard. When Helen didn't respond, Candice told her that if Helen doesn't get her side of the house to save Howard, she'll go after Helen and her friends and take them all down. Helen complains to Spencer how she was surprised and appalled that Candice would threaten her like that. Helen says that she told Candice ok just to get her to shut up. She again tells Spencer how it really ticked her off that something she thought as her friend, Candice, could threaten her and treat her so poorly. Truth be told, Helen threatens people everyday!

The afternoon continued lazily and we now find Helen and Aryan in the hammock. Aryan is upset because all weekend long Candice has been bringing up the race stuff. Aryan apologized to Candice last week for flipping her bed and Candice forgave her. But now that Candice and Howard are in trouble this week, race is all that Candice can talk about. Aryan tells Helen how when she found out that people thought she was racist, she cried so hard that she couldn't breathe. She says she has nightmares about it every night and extremely scared to leave the house because a rumor like that could make her unsafe in the outside world. This is true. And no, I'm not saying Aryan should be completely absolved for what she has said. BUT, I wonder if CBS making Aryan the racist poster girl for the season has indeed put her in danger. Look, we all know she is going to have a miserable time the second she leaves the house. And, believe me, she'll learn a lesson so fast it'll make her head spin. If I think back to all the racist comments made over the season, I find VaGina's (GinaMarie) much more offensive than Aryan's. For the most part, Asshat (Jeremy) and Bouffant (David) have emerged from the scandal unscathed. It strikes me as incredibly unfair that Aryan will be walking into a nightmare. and taking all the blame for every hateful thing ever uttered in that house. Yes, VaGina lost her job too, but I don't think she'll be getting 1/100th of the ire that Aryan has coming her way.

Listening to all of this, Helen admits that she only ever heard Candice and Elvira's side of the story. She tells Aryan that she understands that the comments probably weren't made out of malice, but that sometimes people don't understand how others could be offended by their comments. Helen says this is especially true in a house like Big Brother where all people are looking for is took a comment and twist it something that could get you evicted. Helen tells Aryan that at one point the house was so against Aryan that if she said hello, people would attack for it. The conversation ends with Helen telling Aryan she is glad she has gotten to know her better now.

The day continued fairly uneventfully. We had Andy telling more people how happy he is to be a floater and Aryan organized another nail party in the HOH (to keep Helen happy). That's where I'll end this for today. This afternoon expect Candice to go up in Spencer's place. Will she lose her shit and cry all day? The magic 8 ball says yes.

So, what do you think of Helen playing her game around the Jury? Have you begun to warm up to Aryan at all? Will Andy stop popping into conversations now? (that last one was rhetorical) Comment it out bitches and have a great day!
CBS Interactive Inc.


  1. I couldn't agree more on Aaryn, she's been a punching bag for CBS for the past 3 live shows and I see no end in sight unless she's evicted. Especially with her nominating the 2 black people and one of them getting evicted most likely on her HoH, you just know CBS is going to take even more shots at Aaryn this Thursday. It is unfair how she's taking all the blame when GinaMarie and Spencer have both also said plenty of nasty things. Not saying Aaryn doesn't deserve some of it, but she has improved and CBS doesn't care they just keep pushing the racist angle regardless.

  2. I think Helen is one of the best puppet master in BB history. She wads people up and throws them in the trash without feeling a thing. And Andy is her sidekick. There is no one in the house I care about winning this game. Can the rules be changed to make the someone pay me $500k for watching this nonsense? And yet I watch.

    Speaking of rules and production influencing the game - wasn't there a lawsuit in the 1950's about game fixing. When there is money involved, production should watch their step.

    1. Big Brother and other reality-based games do not have to follow those FCC guidelines, as they're not labelled as "game shows".

    2. Back in 2010, the FCC decreed that BB doesn't fit the bill, Game show-wise.

      - ''Big Brother'' does not appear to meet the definition of a
      "game show." Rather, it is a ''for entertainment only'' program, somewhat similar to professional wrestling in that it is a pseudo-contest in which the outcome is fully, or in some measure, predetermined. -

    3. And that really is the best description of the show I've ever read.

  3. Helen is playing a great game, IMO, no matter how annoying she is. I adore Andy's pop-goes-the-weasel routine. He's corny, but he makes me laugh.

    Aaryn... I hope she learns a LOT from this experience and doesn't get defensive and blame others. I think her remarks are out of ignorance and not intentionally cruel. I don't condone them at all, but when she's nice, I can see a little part of her that I like.


    1. I agree I think Andy is a hoot! I think he has a twin in the house because he is all over.

      I disagree about Aaryn's ignorance. She is not ignorant about what she said - because she knows what she said was to inflict pain. Ignorance would be to say something inappropriate and have no clue that it is inappropriate. While she may have no clue how much damage her comments have caused her; this 2013, Aaryn knows the meaning behind her comments. She doesn't get a pass.

    2. I agree. There's a saying - "When people show you who they are, believe them." Oh, we all saw who she is. When she mistakenly believed her side of the house was in power, she was a total racist, homophobic, mean-girl bitch. People tried to gently suggest to her how her actions will have consequences, she blew it off, again because she thought her and Jeremy had the game on lock. Only when she got it that she had no power and was on a sinking ship and had burned every possible bridge with her abhorrent behavior did she have regrets and started "trying to be nice" -her words. Problem is, there is no one on this show to root for. Elissa is absolutely horrible in her own way. I can't stand that it takes her twice as long as anybody else to complete a sentence. And her over-filled, over-botoxed face.

  4. Can't help but think that Helen is doing her best to rehabilitate Aryan just enough to have Aryan sit beside her as final two, since obviously Helen will win the big prize over Aryan easily. Same with Elvira...she isn't going anywhere any earlier than final three, for same reason. Anyone would want her or Aryan beside them as final two.

    1. Actually, I think Helen wants to be in the final two with Elvira. She knows it's a clear victory for her.

  5. I also think it's disgusting that CBS is ignoring Amanda's racism. Since she tried to "help" Aryan by telling her how she's being portrayed on the show Amanda has joined forces with Aryan calling Candice a nappy head bitch and making fun of Helen's ancestry. CBS should air everyone for who they are.

    And Aryan can lie with such conviction. She only has nightmares about the consequences of her actions, not the actions themselves. She told Amanda that she "wished she cared about [about the racism thing] but she doesn't". She's not at all contrite, she just doesn't want to get in trouble.

  6. Aaryn is a product of her environment....her name is an anagram of Aryan for crying out loud. That was no accident.
    She is in college now, you can't tell me she didn't learn somewhere along the line how to be PC.
    She is a racist plain and simple.

  7. I actually agree with you about Aaryn. I think she said some awful things but I think GM said way worse and doesn't get nearly the heat. While I don't agree with this, I think Aaryn is used to living in an environment where little snide comments are made and people laugh. I'm not saying that's ok or that she isn't smart enough to figure out that those things aren't acceptable, just that she didn't stop to think about how they affected people. Once she realized just how big a deal it is, she does seem to have changed her tune a bit. I know part of it is fear but the optimist in me thinks that it's also part self-awareness. When Aaryn isn't being a complete bitch, she is actually very funny and entertaining to watch. I still think she's a catty brat who said offensive stuff that she should have to answer to but I guess I see some redeemable qualities about her.

    I swear I'm not just saying this because I'm a huge Amanda fan but I totally give her a pass on the nappy headed comment. I say that about myself in the mornings before I fix my hair (I have really thick, curly hair) and about some of my friends when their hair is messy. I've never meant it as anything other than "you have nasty or messy hair".

  8. Hey, I've got a social experiment for you:go up to a sister on the street or work-whatever, call her a nappy, headed bitch. When you get out of the hospital, let us know if you've changed your tune.

    1. Obviously, I'd never walk up to a stranger and say that but thanks for the suggestion. My point was not that it is ok or justified, my point was that I give her a pass because I know sometimes things like that can be said without thought to how they can come off. My mother said that when I was a child because my hair was so long and got tangled so much, I never even realized there were any racial tones attached to it until her saying it got so much attention. I always thought "nappy headed" was just a southern saying, not a racist thing.

  9. Another witty blog. Just the right amount of sarcasm mixed with humor.

    Is it my imagination or is McCrae not that into Amanda? She talks about him after the show, but has he ever responded that he wants to leave MN and move to Florida? I don't think he is terribly ambitious and she seems to be fairly successful. I don't see them for the long haul in the real world. I think they are the oddest couple.


    1. He's really into her actually. It's just that he is HYPERaware of the cameras and what feedsters might say about hooking up all the time. Amanda is the opposite. She frequently forgets that the cameras are even there.

      I agree, I think they're a strange couple. Apparently, her last boyfriend was not unlike McCrae. She likes the weird nerdy guys.

    2. Xmanda is just happy to have a man!

  10. Regarding the racist and otherwise hateful sentiment in this house, nearly the majority of the house has said discriminatory things about some minority. Aaryn, GM, Amanda, Spencer, Jeremy, Kaitlin -- all have said hatefull comments regarding minorities. Elissa has been outwardly rude and hate-filled, but I haven heard her say anything discriminatory toward a minority, except fat people and strippers (not really minorities, vaguely referencing Amanda being heavy, which she is not). I haven't really heard Judd, Jessie, Andy, Candice, Howard, or Helen say anything racist, but at one time or another I have seen McRae, Amanda, and maybe Judd (i can't be sure of that, Judd's speech isn't intelligible ) laughing and condoning some pretty nasty speech from other housemates, esp. Aaryn. Almost no one gets a pass. This is the "summer of intolerance" and I am very disappointed to hear people I want to like (Amanda, McRae) condoning hate speech, but people I do not care to watch (Elissa, especially her) standing up to it. Especially regarding Amanda, she has joined in denigrating Howard for "using race" in his game (though it has definitely become part of the "social game" to discuss race, sexual orientation, and religion)....and honestly, it's beyond other players not rocking the boat and messing up their games by taking a stand, IMO. It seems more about whether one player likes another as to whether they'll call the person out. Like = let it go. Gross gross gross. I certainly agree Aaryn is totally at fault and gets zero pass -- just because shes from a cture where some racism is accepted in Daily life is no excuse (so am I, and i don't/never have tolerated it, regardless of age). and it is not just ignorant behavior (and I am from Alabama, I know racist culture!) but many others, ESPECIALLY GM and Spencer, who are equally culpable. I agree totally that CBS has unfairly focused on Aaryn over those others in pointing the camera....Gross.
    But yeah, I'm still wacthing; I'm a' total hypocrite.

  11. I'm baffled why Amanda's behavior since her nom hasn't been mentioned. I'd rank her 3rd in line after Aryan and Gm for hateful speech with added malice. She's sure not saying things out of ignorance. When she's not backed up by her alliance, she crumbles and looks pretty assholish doing it. Even McC is side-eying her ass.

  12. I smell censorship at the Bitchy BB Blog. You left out the part about Xmanda having a complete mental breakdown just from being nominated. Aryan was on the block 2 weeks as the target and never batten an eye. Xmanda was on the block for 10 seconds as a pawn and her head started to jerk and her eyes were twitching. I expect her to look like Igor in Young Frankenstein by Thursday. I'm starting to root for Aryan at least she doesn't turn into a sniveling basket case at the first sign of imaginary trouble.

    1. No, no censorship. I actually watched very little yesterday, but I wanted to get a blog up on Monday. Whatever I manage to screencap is usually what I end up writing up. It's not a conspiracy. It's pure laziness.

  13. Collette Lala, I have been a fan of yours forever and a day. Plus I am absolutely a chair-seated hypocrite at this moment. Whatever. I love your blog and have to give you a few thoughts.

    Aaryn - I think she already knows she is Effed
    Helen - Too hard, too fast (more than PopUpAndy)
    Andy - He is GOOD... Pop-up works this season... good for him!!!
    McCrae - Can you blame him? I can't.
    Spencer - Perv Uncle... but we wouldn't think that if he shaved (he IS young)
    Jessie -WHO??? (good sign for her)
    Howard - GONE soon enough; well, we will see.
    GM - Keep her for entertainment and rewriting our dictionary
    Candace - She is SMART. Please don't get salty... MORE.
    Amanda - LOVE her... but she reminds me of me WITH BALLS OF STEEL!!!
    Elissa and Judd... both are very entertaining (I hate including Judd with her because he should win this season) END OF STORY.

    However... I must give you some links for both:

    Elissa - She mmmmmhmmmmn's so much... she is Karl and here is a link for your viewing pleasure at 2:50 in the clip

    JuDD - mumbles (but love him and want him for the win) Please to see what I mean at around 32 seconds in. ROFLMAO.

    Join me at BB Strategic chat room for live feeds.

    StackedInFL - Laura

  14. Oh yeah... one more thing... "What is wrong with this picture?" Jessie's ass-crack is hanging out and Spencer is oblivious. DONE and DONE.

    1. :D Do I get a southern fried chicken dinner too? I still can't believe nobody else noticed that!

  15. The whole "the house sez do this..." mentality is getting pretty boring, why do votes have to be unanimous? They never had to be before. A houseguest wins not the house and why doesn't any of them challenge the pecking order? They don't talk about "big moves" until they need one and then it's too late. CBS needs to revamp this game after this season. Has Paula Deen weighed in on the racism thing yet? There ia a woman who owed up to it and lost a lot, these people have been taped spewing the same crap, some have lost their jobs on the outside, but CBS still intends on paying them? Or maybe this season's real twist will be at the end when Julie Chen tells them all they've been disqualified and CBS is donating all prize money to the NAACP