Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Insane In The Membrane

Albert Einstein once said, "Insanity is doing the the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Oh puh-lease, don't flatter yourself Albie. I have the right to express my opinion here on this little blog and my opinion is...hnmm mnmm. You know what? I don't want to talk you. I never even think about you. Science is totally ridiculous anyways. Religion is what is important in my life. Religion and my ministry. Ministering little gumballs of hate to all the ridiculous pathetic people is my true passion. Not that I even think of other people at all. They're so not worth my time and they should really stop flattering themselves. Hnmm mnmm. And I don't appreciate you sitting in your laboratory with your beakers and bunsen burners making fun of my religion. I have the right to put a stop to your hypothesizing and theorizing and jazzercising. You're just a ridiculous liar. I would never associate with someone as disgraceful as you. Hnmm mnmm. I would also never do that to you - make fun of something that's important to you. Science is like so offensive anyways. Don't flatter yourself thinking I sit here giving science a second thought. It means nothing to me. But you can't keep making defamatory remarks about my religion. I'm telling Production right now! Whatever. Let's recap, shall we?

With two feet, let's jump right in and get to the good stuff. Elvira (Elissa) is completely insane and I can't believe her nurses have let her out in public without her thorazine drip. She is a danger not only to herself, but to society as a whole. Hnmm mnmm.

We begin with Andy, J-U-DD, Amanda, McCrae and Elvira sitting outside. Elvira is talking about how she doesn't like that Howard uses his religion to further himself in the game. Her voice gets louder and louder carrying the hnmm mnmm's across the vast expanse of the backyard with reckless abandon. Andy mimes to her that she needs to lower her voice because there are other people nearby - other "friends with Howard" people. McCrae, seeing Andy motioning to Elvira to pipe down and stick a cork in it, begins to giggle to himself.

Oh shit. McCrae laughed. Elvira was talking and McCrae laughed. Hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife!

Elvira then goes ballistic telling Andy that she can't believe he sat there and mocked her religion to her face. Como what? She says that religion and her ministry are very important parts of her life and she doesn't appreciate people belittling her passions. Andy quickly tells her that all he was doing was trying to get her to lower her voice because she was talking loudly about Howard. Elvira purses her duck lips and says, "Whatever. You know I would never make fun of something that was important to you. I don't appreciate you making fun of my religion." She then gets up and walks inside mumbling to herself about how offended she is.

With Elvira safely inside, Andy, J-U-DD, Amanda and McCrae all look at one another quizzically. Andy asks the group, "What the fuck just happened?" Amanda says, "I think she misinterpreted it." Andy explains to them that all he was trying to do was to get Elvira to lower her voice. Andy sighs to himself and says, "I better go fix things." Amanda then motions to McCrae to go with Andy.

The two boys head inside to the bathroom to wait for Elvira to finish her Colace shits (Colace is a laxative often used in mental institutions because medications can make patients constipated).

When Elvira finally emerges from the toilet, Andy says, "Come here when you're done." Elvira snaps, "I don't want to talk to you guys. Like, that was so rude." McCrae then jumps in and tells her that she was getting loud outside and they were trying to discreetly tell her to lower her voice when she was talking about Howard. Elvira barks, "Howard wasn't even there!" Andy replies, "VaGina (GinaMarie) was!" Elvira snorts, "Whatever."

Andy apologizes again and tells her that what happened wasn't about religion at all. And here is where Elvira opened up her skull and released the alien living inside of it, "Don't flatter yourself! I would never put on a show for any of you. Religion is something very important to me." *scratches head* What the hell is this bitch talking about? I mean... what. the. hell.

McCrae again insists they weren't laughing at her but Elvira just keeps rolling her eyes. Andy interrupts them both and says, "Hang on just a sec. I'll explain what happened. Howard is in a secret alliance with VaGina and Eyebrows (Kaitlin) and you were talking about Howard using his religion and they were right there. That's why I was like..." Elvira interrupts him and snaps, "I don't do that! So to laugh about it is like..." Andy interjects, "McCrae was laughing at ME because I was trying to tell you to lower your voice." Andy tries to explain again and again how this psychotic hosebeast was squawking too loud, but she refuses to hear it. Refuses!

Andy tells her, "I would never make fun of your religion. I think you carry your religion amazingly." Whatever that means. Elvira replies, I would never do that to you guys... make fun of something that's important to you." Seriously folks, it's like talking to a brick wall. A psychotic botox-filled brick wall. The conversation ends when Jessie trundles in and tells them they're being loud. Elvira makes a quick escape while Andy and McCrae simply stare at each other and wonder to themselves what the hell just happened.

We then fast forward to a mandatory lockdown where all of the Houseguests have to wait in the HOH room. Amanda, for some reason, takes this as an opportunity to pluck her bikini line. A note to all the women out there: NEVER pluck! It makes more hairs grow. Anyhow, Amanda is sitting in the shower taming her forest when Elvira enters and joins her. She immediately begins to moan about how everything everyone says in the house totally offends her. She reveals that she even asked Production to let her go home the first week. And then, like clockwork, she brings up the religion thing again.

Amanda tries to explain to her what happened, but Elvira doesn't want to hear it. She tells Amanda proudly that she told Andy not to flatter himself and that he means nothing to her. Remember these lines because they're just about all Elvira has in her arsenal. Elvira sighs again and says, "I'm going to tell them I want to go home." Amanda asks, "Andy and McCrae?" Elvira replies, "No, Production. I shouldn't be subjected to defamatory remarks like this." The feeds go to fish and I take the break as my opportunity to pluck out my own eyeballs with a melon baller.

Fortunately (or unfortunately) for me, the feeds return before I'm able to start scooping. They return and I hear that voice saying, "Everything in my life is so good. Hnmm mnmm. I don't need this. This is so stupid." Amanda gently asks her if she is OK with Andy. Elvira says he's so stupid and it's obvious that he's lying to her. And then, once again, she starts with the whole, "I shouldn't have to be made uncomfortable for my religion. I feel weird reading my Bible now." WHAT IS SHE EVEN TALKING ABOUT?! No one said anything about her religion! No one insulted her! No one breathed on her or looked at her wrong... *yanks hair out* 

But she's not done! There's more!

"We're on this show for 3 months. Can't you not hold it together and not make defamatory comments on religion or race? I've never been around a group of deceitful people, just like, lack of etiquette, like social graciousness. I'm going to talk to them (Production) after this. This is like ridiculous. It's the most important thing in my life and it's not funny. Hnmm mnmm. I don't want Andy to apologize. It's rude and it never should have come out of his mouth."

How Amanda didn't attack Elvira viciously with her tweezers, I'll never know. And how Amanda managed to say, "I'm sorry that your feelings were hurt" with a straight face is an even greater mystery. And I hope you didn't think Elvira was actually done, BECAUSE SHE'S NOT!!!

"I think I'm created from a higher power and that's what I believe in. I have never been in such a disgrace. This is disgraceful. I'm building a ministry. They shouldn't flatter themselves. They don't matter anything to my life. It's like totally disrespectful."

I shit you not, the crazy continues for like another 10 hours. After the HOH lockdown is over, Elvira immediately goes to the DR to get one of her microchips replaced.

When Elvira emerges from the DR, she makes a bee line for Eyebrows in the kitchen. The two stand at the sink and Elvira tells her that if she doesn't confront everyone in the house, she'll be going home this week. She says that Aryan is spreading a rumor that Eyebrows is in a secret alliance with Howard and Spencer. Lies. Lies, lies, lies. Aryan didn't say anything. Truth be told, it was J-U-DD. But, if you'll remember, Elvira was just in the DR and Production is doing everything they can to get rid of Aryan this week. So, basically, they fed Elvira a bunch of bullshit, gave her some instructions, and let her loose on the house. She is their puppet. She is a mole. She is in the house to manipulate the game and control the outcome. She is privy to everyone's secrets and she is personally guided on how to navigate through week after week. If this doesn't bother you, you're just as insane as she is.

Anyhow, as Elvira is feeding Eyebrows this line of bullshit, Aryan overhears it all in the bathroom. She immediately goes to Helen and tells her that Elvira has told Eyebrows she's going home. Helen's eyes bug out of her head as she says, "I have no idea what Elvira is up to." I do! She wants Aryan gone and Production is helping her do it! Christ, even Aryan knows what's going on. She tells Helen that Elvira wants her out of the house so bad that she's purposely screwing everything up. If you have the Live Feeds, then you know that Elvira is part of an alliance that is planning on voting out Eyebrows this week. What Elvira just did in the kitchen was betray her alliance in an effort to serve her own selfish desire to get rid of Aryan.

Meanwhile, Eyebrows is freaking out because she thought she was safe all this time. She flits from person to person telling them how Elvira told her she's probably going home unless she confronts the whole house in a house meeting.

And that's just what we get a house meeting. Or what I like to call, diving into the bell jar. With everyone gathered in one of the bedrooms, Helen asks Elvira what's going on. VaGina jumps in and starts cracking up hysterically, "Yo, yo, yo, Imma supposed to like be in a alliance with all youse peoples. ahahahahaha!!!!" J-U-DD shrugs his shoulders and mumbles, "I hummina hummina stay up late at night ahummina hummina." Elvira announces, "You guys are nuts. I'm sick of everyone lying to me. Aryan needs to go."

Cue Aryan walking into the bedroom. There is an incredibly long discussion about whether or not Elvira said Aryan's name at all when talking to Eyebrows in the kitchen. She did, but Elvira insists she didn't. And since Aryan overheard the kitchen conversation, Aryan insists, "I heard you say my name! Eyebrows, you told me she said my name. Tell her what you said." Eyebrows then crawls under the chair and hides. Elvira turns to Aryan smugly, "I don't know why you're attacking me. You always twist my words. This has nothing to do with you!" Aryan replies, "You said my name. It has everything to do with me." Elvira chews her face and says, "Don't flatter yourself! I never even think about you. You know what, I don't want to talk to you anymore."

The demented dance continues and it goes something like this...

Aryan: I'm so sick of you making shit up about me.
Elvira smiles.
Aryan: Why are you doing this to me?
Elvira: Get a life! You're attacking me!
Helen: Aryan is telling the truth.
Aryan: I'm so sick of rumors being made up about me.
VaGina: Nick! I love you Nick! Holla for a dolla!
Elvira: Aryan told people she was safe this week!
Aryan: I never said that!
Elvira: Why are you even talking to me? I never think about you. Stop flattering yourself!
Aryan sighs.
Elvira: It's not all about you! This has nothing to do with you! Hnmm mnmm.
Elvira: I can't be in this house with Aryan!
Eyebrows whimpers.
VaGina: We're all like genuine people here. Ya know.
Elvira: Aryan just attacked me and I refuse to be manipulated like this!
And... scene!

The meeting disperses and only one thing is for sure... Elvira, time for your meds!

In the Storage Room, it is finally dawning on Helen that Elvira is Queen of the Shit Stirring People. She clutches her head and moans, "She's ruining everything!" Andy replies, "She's a loose cannon. She's pushing her own agenda of getting Aryan out and not the alliance's agenda."

Meanwhile, Aryan is shaken to the core with frustration. Aryan may be an ignorant twit who doesn't know much about race relations or tact, but she doesn't deserve Elvira's twisted manipulations. There's a difference between saying something mean out of ignorance and saying something mean out of malice. Aryan is ignorant. Elvira is malicious. Ignorance can be eradicated over time with education and understanding (and, believe me, Aryan will get herself one hell of an education when she leaves the house). Malice is something within you, a part of you. Malice cares not of the consequences. Sociopathic personalities like Elvira will never learn from their mistakes because, to them, they simply don't make mistakes! Let's just say, it takes a pretty awful person to make us sympathize with someone who was formerly the house pariah. But sympathize we did. We looked at Aryan being manipulated unfairly and it angered us.

The madness didn't end there and Elvira continued to assault even likable people like J-U-DD. She told him to his face that he was a crazy ridiculous liar. Clearly, all of this was Elvira desperately trying to get Aryan out of the house this week. Unfortunately for her, I think her plan backfired. Had she not lost it earlier in the day over the stupid religion thing, the house might have been more likely to believe her. She shot herself in the foot though when she called Andy, harmless Jazz Hands Andy, a manipulative liar. Nice try Elvira. You need to reel in the crazy not roll it out.

So, what did you guys think of yesterday's shenanigans? Why did Elvira go batshit crazy over the religion stuff? How much instruction did the DR give her before she attacked Aryan? Will Elvira strike again today? Who do you think is going home this week, Aryan or Eyebrows? Comment it out bitches and have a great day!

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  1. Elvira wants week.
    Production wants Aryan out...this week.
    DR Case Closed.

    -Reckless Wrestler

  2. Poor Andy. In the 7th picture of him sitting on the wall (or whatever it is) in the bathroom he looks like a Muppet. That boy needs some protein!

  3. Wow. I watched it all and it was the most unbelievable shit I have ever seen.

    I was not a fan of Elissa but I did feel for her. I thought she sort of got screwed being put in this house because everyone would want her out simply because she is Rachel's sister.

    Not anymore.

    It was like something out of a movie. No one really acts like that in real life. Had I not seen it, I wouldn't believe it went down the way it did.

    It was infuriating to watch. It was hilarious at certain points and it was actually sad too.

    The look on Amanda's face after the original issue outside was priceless. Eating her mango she looks up and says ''Well that went terribly wrong' LMAO.

    I can't believe it, but I did feel bad for Aaryn. I think the worst part for Aaryn was that Kaitlyn, the girl she thought was her friend was so spineless.

    I'm not buying Kleenex or anything but it was a really screwed up situation.

    I've never seen anyone so unaware and so vacant as Elissa when this was happening. There was absolutely NO reaching her. If it had been a ploy, or she was scheming it would have been interesting, but even if the DR told her to do it, it wasn't like she went out there with a master plan. They may have pumped her up to defend her religion or right to be religious but it wasn't like she was a mastermind like Dr. Will or Dan. This was just someone telling her she was right and she should stand up for herself.

    It was bizarre. So glad I have the feeds.

    Do you think ANY of this will be shown on the show? I doubt it but it should be. Hope Julie tells them America was MVP. Can you imagine the emotional outbreak that Elissa and GM would have. Neither one of those girls could handle the thought that America doesn't love them. Wonder who will get MVP now? I'm voting for Amanda.

    oh and one more thing. I need Amanda to stop wrapping Elissa in plastic wrap. It's demeaning. They are not friends. Elissa was so cruel to Amanda the other night. I just hate watching Amanda cater to that crazy bitch.


  4. I was hoping Kaitlin would go for strategic reasons; she's a more dangerous player (relatively) than the other two. Now I want her gone just to piss off the Crazy Lady, and so I can listen to the Reilly Family Catladies howl about the Elissa Haters that are personally responsible for messing up her so-far perfect game.

  5. I tell you what after yesterday Elissa went to the bottom of my list. What a nutjob! I for once was all for aaryn. I want aaryn to stay and win hoh and get her revenge on elissa.

  6. All I can think is that Elissa, doer of production's bidding, and beneficiary of their fixes, will soon become a liability for them. They can't control what she does, really. She may have stirred shit up yesterday, but it's unlikely any of it will provide footage for the show. And it created sympathy for Arryan, which is obviously not what Production wants. Many have speculated that Elvira would win HOH this week. Honestly, I think that's the only way in which she continues to have value for Production. She can probably get Arryan out next week, which is what she wants, anyway. Then Production will have gotten all it can from Elvira, and will throw her to the wolves. If I were Production, I would give the HOH to E, have her succeed in getting Arryan out, then get Elissa put out in the second half of a double eviction. It's way early for a double, but I think it solves their problem AND ramps up the drama.

  7. Elissa is being controlled by production not the opposite. They want Ayran out which was the plan. Understand you want the most drama in house, but don't think A is entertaining just arrogant and racist. Don't want her rewarded for her ugliness. E seems to be having a major breakdown that should give you lot's to write about. Used to like Amanda a lot, She has taken over poor Judd's HOH, she thinks she can control A more than Kaitlin, leaving someone like Aryan in house could backfire.

    1. Agreed with all of your statements!

  8. It sounded like Elissa was speaking the words that Howard should be saying but can't, like she is starting a "ministry". Howard is starting a "ministry" egotistical white chicks don't start ministries. Well maybe a few do.

    I am not so sure Aaryn is not malicious unless turning over Candice's bed is not a big deal anymore.

    Love you blog Bitchy!

  9. Don't believe for a minute you will see any of Elviras craziness on the TV show, They will give her the "halo" edit.

  10. I think Aaryn is not only ignorant but also the malicious one. I'm not a fan of Elissa, and still not, but I did think from day one, and still think, that she's a few cookies short of a baker's dozen. Because of this I just pity her. The HGs have been noticing she's been weird lately. And I don't think she's doing anything on purpose but that she's actually just... have some kinda disorder.

  11. I even empathize with Aryan's frustration. There have been multiple instances of HG's basic inability to understand - to parse the simplest sentences for meaning. When you add that to all of the outright disinformation it's amazing that anything gets understood. Elvira's not deliberate - she's broken. Elvira's inability to understand is epic and her ego protects her from any tendency toward self-awareness. Entertaining though...

  12. Yes - Elvira has been a ticking time bomb but I bet it will end in implosion. She already requires a lot of time away alone. I expect it will end with a fetal-position whimper.

  13. Anyone got a time for any Elvira "ministry" talk? I need to hear that word from her lips.

  14. If the MVP vote was legit we could get behind someone that's NOT Xmanda but I don't think the vote is real. If you charge people to vote and then completely disregard their votes is that not fraud?

  15. As a non-medicated person who also considers her religion important, I wish Elvira would STH up. Just this statement alone makes her a hypocrite, " I'm building a ministry. They shouldn't flatter themselves. They don't matter anything to my life." If she's building a ministry then everyone should be important to her. Unless of course she's building a ministry of crazy, which is entirely possible.

  16. First I have to say when I read "I love you Nick" right in the middle of that I really did LaughOutLoud. I watched most of this live on the feeds and I was just flabbergasted. It was so frustrating listening to Elissa so I can't imagine how they feel. It really was like they were talking to a brick wall. She really doesn't listen to people.

  17. Aryan’s Mom sounds like a drunken slut. I guess the peroxide doesn’t fall far from the shelf. I hope Aryan stays she spices things up.

  18. In a convo earlier today centered on the boredom that comes with the lock downs, someone reminded her that she could at least read her bible. The budding ministry builder replied something like, "I know but it's not as if I haven't already read it." Now I admit that I don't know much about the bible culture but wouldn't that kind of attitude be frowned upon? Elvira needs to go back to one of her multiple homes, put on her newest pair of Louboutins, pick up her Hermes bag and go have lunch with the rest of the trophy wives!

  19. Although I agree that Elissa is incredibly annoying and mean and perhaps even crazy, that does not miraculously absolve Aryan of her previously horrible behavior which, by the way, closely mimicked Elissa's. Do not forget that during the first week of the competition aryan and her crew drank the entire bottle of wine that the house agreed to save and share with the have nots, then when the HGs discovered the wine was gone Aryan fetched her bulldog Jeremy to go curse everyone out. That's not ignorance. That's malice. Flipping someone's bed over and telling them that they have crabs is not ignorance. It's malice. Telling Helen to shut up and go make some rice? Ignorance is when you don't know or don't understand that what you're doing is hurtful. Aryan fully understands what she's doing. Her intent is to offend and hurt. Therefore, that's not ignorance. It's just being a mean bitch. And now that Aryan has decided to start playing the game I do not feel bad that she's getting a dose of her own medicine.

  20. Why did she go batshit crazy? Because she screwed up talking too loudly and didn't like being corrected. She pulled out her ministry bullshit to deflect attention away from her mistake and put it back on them for being insensitive to her religion. It doesn't have to make sense. In her mind, it just needs to happen. Likely no one in her life has ever told her anything but how wonderful she is. Criticism in her world isn't taken well. Every confrontation she's had, she's made the other person feel sorry even tho they were the recipient of her venom. Like when Amanda apologized for being upset Elvira slashed her during the dominatrix routine. I think in all the years of BB I have not loathed anyone more than I do that chic.

  21. Are you meth girl?

    Elissa is not high on my high score card but man. Your Paranoia is Insane. I SAW that POV..and I did not see any tampering. They were crawling all over the place. there were no "Lanes" as was said in the podcast. They were able to crawl everywhere to get points.

    It's obvious that Elissa was teased as a girl as a kid and is paranoid about people talking about her in the house. Yet YOU stay silent about your Spoilt little Amandabitch....She ALWAYS gets her way remember..her daddy said so. Lets make fun of the girl that has no idea how to socialize..but leave the spoilt bitch alone. I guess you do too huh if you side with that STRIPPER. I hope she doesn't cry over that one.

    1. Were you trying to ask me if I'm on meth? Umm no, I am not. Are you? You seem awfully amped up over the fact that I don't pray at the altar of Elissa. Calm down. It'll be ok.

    2. LOL. "Are you meth girl?". Funniest thing I've read all day. If you are going to talk shit to people on the internet, you better proofread girlfriend. And if you're unable to figure out simple capitalization I hope you can understand why your opinions on the complexities of the Big Brother house aren't going to be taken seriously.

      Also, keep the slut-shaming to a minimum. It's not a good look.

    3. Yeah, if Colette wants to worship Amanda, a loudmouth entitled bitch who bosses everybody around and likes to tell "jokes" about beating Jessie bloody, raping and murdering her and sodomizing her corpse, that's her business! Colette can support anybody she likes…I expect to see an appreciation of SpenSSer's "shower" joke any day now. Relax.

  22. Oh yeah,
    To amend my ..ya know the camera is watching the "point" calculation. They KNOW what points they got by the end because of the camera work. So AG told them which order to go in for the MOST suspense for tv vieweres. Do you even think about these things before spouting your paranoid "rigging" ideas on podcast? I thought you were smarter than that. OMg do you think aliens are real too? Do you believe that earth is an alien convict planet? Come on!

    1. For the most part, the Bitchy followers are educated, respectful and generally here for entertainment. You must be new to Ms. Lala's blog.

    2. I love how you post as anonymous.

    3. Anonymous, what the hell are you talking about? Those "paranoid" ideas of mine have had 1.5 million downloads this week. Thanks for listening!

  23. You nailed it. Aaryn is ignorant, but Elissa is malicious! Clearly, she knows nothing about BB game tactics. She does not belong on this reality show. Go back to Anderson Cooper's talk show & win another (honeymoon) trip to Costa Rico.

  24. Aaryn is malicious too!!! Aside from all her racist bullshit she's also just mean to people. Why does Elissa being a jerk cancel out Aaryn being a jerk? She only just recently started pretending to be nice, which she's not even good at, because she thought she was about to get voted off. They are both awful in different ways.

    1. Nah, Aryan is a sweet little darling, don't you know? She's just ignorant! When—even AFTER being warned by Queen Amanda that everyone thinks she's a racist—Aryan says that having Howard (or "Robert") throw the sour milk in her face was "like getting jizzed by King Kong", that's just her sweet little ignorance again. How could she EVER be expected to know that comparing a black man to AN APE is racist? Poor Aryan.

      (PushyTits Amanda loved it, of course. That doesn't make PushyTits a racist, either. I'm sure she's just "ignorant", too. Sweetums! And I didn't see Andy's reaction, since he was snugly up Amanda's ass as always, but I'm sure he was just ignorant and not malicious at all! Only Elissa is malicious! She's evil! Burn the witch!)

    2. I'm the Anonymous from NOT from this post but the previous one. Damn this one is good. I wonder how you are going to spin Amandabitch this week.

  25. I know this opinion isn't terribly popular, but...does anyone else think Howard is the worst of the bunch this year? (I'm referring to how terribly, terribly dull he is in comparison to everyone else.) Every time he launches into one of his interminable monologues about honor and respect, I just want to peel my face off. Aryan is awful (did anyone else catch her jab at blind people in the DR? Is there any group that's off-limits to her?), and Elissa and VaGina are both delusional, but at least they're entertaining! There will be time for Aryan to get her comeuppance in the real world after she's been evicted, but I say that we push for Howard's ouster immediately so as to maximize the craziness in the house for as long as possible. (Helen's pretty boring, too, and her constant complaints about the drama make me question her grasp of reality, but her presence keeps Elissa around, so that's a good thing.) Oh, and how much of aMANda's prison bitch is McCrae? She even makes him wear his hair in a bandanna for her amusement. If she's not fashioning a strap-on to use on him out of slop, cigarette butts, and Eyebrow's tweezings, I'll be very surprised.

  26. Not to beat a dead horse about Elissa - but is she suddenly looking a bit puffy? Her face looks like it has been stung by a bee. Hmmmmmmmm...

    On to Aaryn - I do not think she is ignorant - she knows what she says is derogatory so she can't claim ignorance. I think she is truly intolerant of anyone of another race. She says she is really trying hard to be nice, yet she is not nice at all. Doesn't look like she going this week so another week of looking at her looking at herself in the mirror. Ugh!!


  27. I Like the name Colette...that and I think that it is wonderfully beside any real point at all to watch this version of Big Brother for what it was supposedly meant for...Julie's stab at weekly exposure to the millions...THIS show is awesomely becoming a 1000-car train wreck and with no favorites in my eye...truly fun FUN FUUUUN to watch!!!

  28. This will most-likely cause a shit storm but...why are people so insistent that everybody loves everybody all of the time? I am a WOC and while I don't think Aaryn's comments were nice, or intelligent...I'm over it. She's not the President. She's not a teacher in my son's school. She doesn't work for the UN. She's not picketing outside a homosexual wedding. So who gives a shit what she says? She's some 22 year old chick who probably works at the mall. Her opinion is seriously unimportant. She's on a stupid reality show. Why does she have some responsibility to have opinions everyone enjoys? I don't really get it. I really don't think Aaryn means the things she says...but I also don't really care haha. I'm not butthurt about it. People hate other people! As long as they're not inhibiting their life why does it matter? I hate stupid people. I hate people who wear self-tanner. I hate people who chew with their mouth open. I hate brown eyes. I hate when girls have the 2nd toe longer than the 1st. I'm vocal about hating these things, and thinking they are not as good as other things. I'm not murdering people with brown eyes. I don't stab people who chew with their mouth open. I don't wish bad things for these people. It's okay to not like everyone. It's okay to hate other people. It's okay to think Asian people eat a lot of rice- they do! It is a staple in their culture! I really just think it's white people trying to feel politically correct and it's sorta hilarious. Everybody, all races, all creeds, aLL LGBTQ-identifying people make comments that could be considered 'off-colour' at some point. If you aren't out there pulling a Hitler though..why the fuck do we care? I'm half black...if some random chick from Texas says that the fish tank is segregated..why the fuck is that supposed to offend me? The choice of the word segregated is perhaps a poor one..but maybe the fishtank was? Who gives a shit? Why is everybody's panties all in a twist about this?? I don't get it.

    1. I wonder if the reason people are so upset about it is because they are not used to prejudices and stereotypes being placed on people they know. Maybe Howard, Candice and Helen are not as taken back by the comments because the comments themselves are not shocking to them. Where possibly, people like Elissa for example, are shocked because they have never dealt with those types of things being directed at them or someone they know. My husband and I were just talking about this last night. It really does seem like the people who should be the most upset have moved on. Not that they are ok with any of it but they can separate the fact that these people don't matter to them and in the real world they don't have to see them again. I really don't know if any of this is correct, I just found your post thought provoking and wanted to reply.

  29. A new fan of yoursJuly 26, 2013 at 11:03 AM

    I just discovered your blog and it's absolutely hilarious. You're a brilliant satirist! Thanks for making me laugh so hard!

  30. Although I don't always agree with you ie. Aaryn being ignorant and not malicious. You are f*cking hilarious, this blog makes my day, love it!

  31. Looks like Rachel found your blog, please ask her why her sister is batshit crazy.

  32. Please please please update more. Please. You will have twice as many visitors ( 2 million- WOW) if you would just update more than once a week.

    1. This week was a little nuts for me, but the blog will return tomorrow. I promise!

    2. Seriously- you are genius!

  33. It seems like every year the Big Brother community gets more and more batshit crazy. If you state any opinion that doesn't match those people, you get labelled as a "bully", or their opinion is "biased", or much worse. Why does anybody care what others think? Every person on these shows has fans AND detractors. Some have valid reasons for their opinions; others don't. Why does anybody give a shit? Colette likes who she likes, and the wrath of the entire Brenchel Army is not going to to change her mind. In fact, I know her well enough that it will just make her dig in and defend her faves that much more.

  34. Wow wow wow! Just found your blog and love it so much! Wish I had found you the first year you wrote...but will catch up on this season... Such wit, such fun. You have the courage to write without mealy-mouthing. The stuff about Elissa that day made me feel so much better about how the house seemed to let her get away with that crap.

    Did you notice she was getting all giggly and stupid in the evenings last week? After showing all this weird behavior, she changed though maybe the BB shrink stops by on her way home from the office to medicate E, numb her out for the night. E tried to say it was her endorphins after her yoga routine--if that were true, it would have happened from day one, and we'd be dealing with yoga addicts everywhere, and yoga rehab centers would be popping up all over. I guess they adjusted her dosage because now she just gets friendly and relaxed, not falling all over laughing like the Joker she resembles with her lip implanted like a Real Housewife wanna be.... It is a strange strange world where we find Elissa, and your blog was hilarious, taking us to visit her. TY! GM winning that comp meant for E was a great blog too--I had to reread it out loud--it was a laugh riot and a perfect GM! Thanks for all the fun! You have a fantastic talent for making us smile and laugh, when it's so easy to get mad over things that really have nothing to do with our lives. Invaluable. Thanks again! I cannot wait until the next one!