Monday, September 14, 2009

Hell To The No

Soooo much to talk about today and hardly any of it has to do with Big Brother. I can't not comment on the VMA's last night. OK so how wretched is Kanye West? Seriously, his desperation for attention is nauseating. I'm not a Taylor Swift fan by any means. I don't think I can name a single one of her songs, but the poor girl was mortified last night and Kanye was the big bad wolf. What a complete and utter asshole! I've never liked him, never listened to his music, preferred Carlos Mencia's version of Gold digger, and pretty much think South Park had him nailed. Wasn't he supposed to have undergone some big spiritual awakening after his mother died? Apparently, humiliating a teenage girl in front of millions of people isn't a sin in his own personal religion. What's even more annoying is that he's on the premiere episode of Jay Leno's new show tonight. Everyone and their grandmother is going to tune in to see what the douche bag has to say and it'll get HUGE ratings and Kanye will take all the credit. How annoying! As for Beyonce... total class act. Never liked the bitch, but I adore how she spun it last night. Sure it was probably preplanned and not even her idea, but it was generous and gracious and I hearted her for a little bit last night.

Secondly, cracky Whitney Houston is on Oprah today! The little gay man living inside me is doing backflips right now in excitement. It is going to be off the chain... and I swear to god I've never ever ever used the phrase "off the chain" before in my life. She's going to come clean about her addiction to crack, living in pajamas for 7 months, and the intervention her mother organized. It's going to be dipped in dark chocolate, rolled in macademia nuts and redipped again in liquid diamonds. The only thing that can make it even more perfect is if Kathy Griffin tweets during it. Speaking of tweeting, I will most definitely be tweeting my reactions as it airs. I've noticed several of you have signed on to Twitter to follow me and Mr. O'Shaugnessy. I wholeheartedly thank you and have a piece of advice that will make you all want to send me a fruit basket. Do yourselves a favor and download Tweetdeck. It's a program to use with Twitter and it's pure heaven. I get notified immediately whenever any of my friends tweet or mention me. I can also see whenever anyone anywhere in the world says anything about BB11 and it's all laid out for me in little organized windows. I'm obsessed with my Tweetdeck and this afternoon I'll create a new "oprah" window so I can tweet to other Oprah watchers if I'm so inclined. It's a great way to meet new people, get new followers, and stay up to date on everything. Click here to download and enjoy. It's free.

Thirdly, new season of Gossip Girl tonight! MissJavagirl, welcome aboard the GG train. Please tell me you started watching it from the very beginning. Anyone looking for a new show to be obsessed with will benefit greatly from watching Gossip Girl tonight at 9pm on the CW. It's fashionable, scandalous, delicious, hot, evil, wicked and completely addicting. I'm only mad I didn't discover it sooner. It's divinely stylized with an intoxicating soundtrack and clothes that'll make you drool. I think Chuck Bass is my personal hero. Investing in the DVD's is SO worth it. Believe me when I tell you you'll thank me profusely. I've put the DVD's up for sale here on the BBBB over on the right hand side. Click and enjoy!

OK so let's talk some Big Brother... once again the bitches slept all day and when they finally awoke all was not necessarily well. Kevin is sitting in the BY alone talking out loud going over who will vote for him to win. He's going through everyone and he comes to the (incorrect) conclusion that he can't win the $500,000 no matter who's he up against. He says, "Pretty much I have no shot against these 2 girls." He still has no idea who he'd take with him to the Final 2 and I really wish I could telepathically tell him to take the Ragamuffin. Taking Natalie is the only clear cut way I can see the Scarfed One declaring victory. I'm not thrilled with idea of the Ragamuffin walking away with $50,000, but I'd rather that outcome instead of Jordan walking away with $500,000.

Ragamuffin eventually walks outside and Kevin tells her that he has no way of winning the $500,000 no matter what he does. He thinks he can't even win against Natalie because of Jeff. Kevin says, “I feel like I have zero chance of winning against you.” Ragamuffin, completely pissed off that Kevin is even considering taking Jordan, replies, “Well now you’re playing for second place Kevin. If that’s how you feel then all you can do is deal with it now.” She continues, “You’re completely full of it and talking out of your ass... I’m not going to sit here and try to empathize with you cuz you’re talking out of your ass."

Jordan comes outside, sees they're arguing, and immediately turns around and goes back inside. Kevin just sits there while Ragamuffin continues screaming about he's "trippin'" and needs to take a "trippin' pill". Eventually, she calms down and says she wants to go inside to cook. She walks in and not 30 seconds later BB announces an outdoor lockdown. Kevin starts cracking up and Ragamuffin storms outside furious. She's livid she can't cook up some crazy concoction and she starts screaming again. She says, “When I get this mad I end up going to jail cuz I end up doing something really dumb!” LOL Maybe those rumors about her beating up someone were true after all. Kevin just continues to laugh and Jordan comes waddling out. Ragamuffin is now demanding that Kevin plays pool with her and he says. "HTTN!" For those not in the know, that translates to "Hell To The No" - which is a phrase I think cracky Whitney herself coined during Being Bobby Brown.

Jordan wants to know why they're mad and Ragamuffin tells her how Kevin doesn't think he can win against either of them. Kevin and Natalie keep bringing up Dan (BB10). Natalie insists he was hated and still won. Kevin thinks everyone kind of liked him because he was a nice guy. Jordan doesn't say a word and she just sits there looking a little mad. Is she mad that Natalie was out there obviously convincing Kevin to take her to the Final 2 or is she mad that her cookie dough is inside while she was outside? I'm not sure. Ragamuffin breaks the contemplative spell and starts shouting for Kevin to come play with her. Again he says, "HTTN" and just ignores her. All the chat hags got pissy because they wondered why Ragamuffin never asked Jordan to go play. Ragamuffin begins to play pool by herself and bitch seriously won't shut up. She has a total gift for running her mouth nonstop.

Eventually, they're allowed back inside and Ragamuffin immediately begins to torture an innocent fish. She puts all sorts of spices on it and soy sauce and vanilla and god knows what else. Kevin wants nothing to do with it and Ragamuffin gets mad. Jordan, in the meantime, is washing dishes in the sink with her boob completely hanging out of her shirt. Bitch needs to put a damn bra on. I really wish I could be a fly on the wall in her trailer when she discovers how many naked pictures there are out there of her.

As far as last night's show is concerned... I missed the last half, but it appeared to me that Jeff and Jordan got way more coverage than anyone else. That's really not very fair considering America is still voting. Oh and how funny was it that they didn't even cover Seabiscuit and Beaner Boy? You know Laura was bucking and kicking her hooves like crazy wondering how such a smart beautiful girl like herself could be ignored. Blech! Laura you have only Jeff and Jordan to blame. Their footage was much more important than yours apparently. God forbid we go a day without seeing Jeff water some silly plants with his shirt off.

We learned a little something about Kevin last night as well. Apparently, he had Poland Syndrome when he was a child and he has no pectoral muscles or something like that. He had to undergo surgeries for pectoral implants which is why we rarely ever see him with his shirt off. According to Wikipedia, Poland Syndrome is the underdevelopment or absence of pectoral muscles on one side of the body. Does this make his upper body weaker than normal? If it does then I can't blame him for not hanging on longer in the first HOH comp and in the Graduation Day comp. On the same token, it's even more impressive how long he lasted during Part 1 of the final HOH comp. I love him even more now for not revealing this earlier to garner sympathy or use it as an excuse for his physical shortcomings. Kevin for the win!

Late last night, BB must have made another trip to Michael's because the HG's got even more crafts to play with. Kevin made a BB plate and Jordan painted a mug to celebrate Natalie's engagement. Ragamuffin kept barking at Jordan the whole time telling her what colors to use and how to design it and I just had to wonder why Ragamuffin didn't paint a damn cup of her own.

That's about it kids. As to how I'm voting, I've been voting Kevin, Kevin, Natalie. Jordan winning is a travesty to mankind. I don't care how much she needs the money. Again, BB is NOT a goddamn charity. If she needs money so bad, then maybe she shouldn't have shelled out over $6000 for new tits.

Speaking of charity and worthwhile causes, if you've enjoyed what I've done here this season please click on my Donate button and show me some love. I do not get paid to do this at all. I do it simply because I enjoy it. It takes several hours a day to create this ridiculousness and anything anyone can give is greatly appreciated. It costs a fortune to keep Mr. O'Shaugnessy in whiskey and cabbage. I might be forced to start sending him out as my high class leprechaun manwhore.

What did you guys think of last night's recap show? Have you been voting a lot? Are you ready for this season to end already? Will you be selling all of your Kanye CD's today? Have you set your cell phone to remind you about Oprah like I have? Does Chuck Bass inspire you to wear purple? Take it to the comments bitches and discuss!

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  1. I am just wondering and maybe I missed, although I am sure I have watched all of this year's episodes. You know how BB does little background on different HGs during the live show, I don't recall ever seeing one for Kevin. They've done them for Jeff/Jordan, Michelle and I even remember one for Natalie. I don't recall ever seeing any background or story on Kevin. Did I miss it? If not, is this something that could hurt him in America's vote?

  2. No you didn't miss it. They never showed it. Ronnie actually told me that they went to his house and interviewed his wife and family for over 2 hours and it never aired either. A lot of people were dissed this year. I'm sure they went to Russell and Lydia's family as well, but we never saw a thing.

    Yes, it could hurt Kevin in the votes because the majority of voters don't have feeds and they vote purely on what CBS shows them. The same goes for Jeff or Jordan definitely winning America's favorite. They both got such a good edit and lots of air time that it's inevitable they'll win.

  3. I'm a GG fan as well, but Chuck Bass has some catching up to do. He's only a teenager, though. I can't expect him to have done everything.

    It saddens me greatly that Kevin is so conflicted. Hopefully Natalie just shuts the hell up today before he evicts her solely for agitating the hell out of him.

  4. Jordan for the win!!!

  5. You havent spoken of the possibility that Kev is sharing his congenital defect NOW so those on the feeds will sympathize & throw him votes. Everything he does in the last week, especially, is calculated for the win, understandedly.
    I always cheer for the good guys, the down trodden; that's my nature. Nasty, spiteful, vicious, unnecessary digs at others, not so much. Nat wanting to throw red dye in M's food, and Kev wanting to torture M @ her dead brother gives me the chills. I dont know people like that in my ordinary life. Cheaters, yes. In my high school, majorettes & cheerleaders got into the Honor Society, as they were expert at gleaning good test scores through a netwk. of cheats.

  6. Okay, first of all Kanye did have a spiritual awakening after his mama died. This just goes to show you how much of an asshole he was when he was born. Taylor should have swiftly kicked him in the balls cause lord knows he's got some to spare. Never did like the guy. Speaking your mind is one thing but being a dick is a whole other mindset. I think he just does it for the publicity. Wouldn't it be great to have a celebrity BB with Kanye, Don Imus, Rush Limbaugh, Joaquin Phoenix (he's nuckin' futs now. Most definitely ate paint chips as a kid), Eminem, Nick Campbell, Whitney, Mariah Carey, Lindsay Lohan, Naomi Campbell, Elizabeth Hasselbeck and Rosie? Can't you just hear Whitney now . . . "Bobayyyyyyyyyyyy! I mean Kanyayyyyyyyyyyyyy!
    Oh, and lets just throw Mel Gibson and Joan Rivers in for shits & giggles. I would pay to watch that.
    I haven't watched last nights BB yet so I'm gonna go hate on Raganat for a while.

    Sore Throat

  7. While I do agree with many of your thoughts, I do have to say that I do not on one major issue. The idea that Jordan winning would be a travesty to mankind is a bit absurd. I am not a huge Jordan fan or for that matter a huge fan of any of these boring hG that are left. But I think Jordan deserves to win as much as anyone. Having no gameplay was her gameplay..Kevin did nothing as far as gameplay was concerned until he was left with the yoyos that cant win anything. I think making it to the final three deserves you a chance at winning 500,000 no matter how you got there. Saying Kevin deserves it or Nastily over Jordan doesnt make sense to me..they all deserve it..10 others have left and they are still matter how they got there..and by the way if Nastily wins I will break my t.v., but there again thats my personal opinion, not a reflection on her worthiness to be there!

  8. LOL Chuck Bass does seem to pull of wearing purple and pink. I kept telling my husband real men wear pink. I went out and bought season 1 b/c I was intrigued *looks at Lala* and then fell hopelessly in love. I think I have a girl crush on Blair, she is so evil it is fabulous. I will definetly be DVRing the season premier tonight b/c I haven't seen season 2 yet and that is just unacceptable lol

  9. OMG - I just creamed my panties a little envisioning Sore Throat's Celebrity BB!!

    Throw in Paris Hilton, Christian Bale and Kate Gosselin and I would have a full-blown orgasm!

  10. Sore Throat, you're divine. Bless your celebrity cast. I'm not sure if you're aware but BBUK has a Celebrity Big Brother which airs in the winter. Past contestants have been Coolio, LaToya Jackson, Verne Troyer, Jermaine Jackson, etc. So fucking good and so worth looking into. The new season starts Jan. 10. 2010. Because I'm special and fabulous, I have access to a live feed, but everyone else can also enjoy all the episodes over at Amazing site with reality shows from around the world. Project Runway Australia and Project Catwalk are definitely worth checking out. You can even go back and watch past seasons from beginning to end.

    MissJavagirl I lurve Blair. Glad to know you'll be DVR'ing it tonight. I'm the exact same way... can't watch a show unless I've seen it all the way from the very beginning. I just finished Season 2 this weekend. You'll love it.

  11. My niece forced me to watch GG, and once was more than enough. A bunch of insufferable asses. Westwick's(Chuck) acting is cringe worthy.

    Will never understand how anyone, including Jeff, could believe that Jordough deserves to win. I realize that Jeff is horny, but he is thinking with the wrong head. Gameplay.? The woman is a moron. Did she graduate from Grammar School.? Her wanting to be a squirrel, is an insult to squirrels. I despise Gnat, would still give her the $500,000 over Jordough. Hope that Kevin wins.

  12. Go, Kev-O!! Kevin FTW!

    Ugh. US Open will be keep me from seeing crackhead Whitney. So annoying...

  13. I wondered why Kevin only put his feet in the hot tub & never went in. Thanks for the info.

    Don't the family/friends have to sign releases to be interviewed or even mentioned? Perhaps Russell, Kevin, Lydia's, etc. did not sign & that's why we never saw them.

  14. Banner said.. Jordan FTW!!!!

  15. Thanks Lala. I will def be checking it out. Just my cup a tea. As for the BB show last night the fight between Kevin & Ronnie was fucking awesome. Only because if I were a first time viewer I would have pegged Kevin as a hard ass straight dude & Ronnie as the gay guy. Complete role reversal and the butchest I think we will ever see Kevin. I am seriously pondering the notion that Raganat is a little bi-sexual minion manipulator. She just strikes me as the girl who you always knew was a rug muncher but showed way too much attention to the guys to cover it up, but I would bet that she's had more lip blisters than a Manolo Blahnik models feet. Oh and I did ponder the thought of becomming a squirrel because then I could live in a neighborhood. Fucking WHAT? Ummmm, would somebody tell Jordo that she already lives in a neighborhood and she gets to be human while doing so. I mean come on! She'd only starve to death. It's obvious that she's not a very good nut chaser. She would only end up teasing the nuts. On the brighter side if she were a squirrel she could shoot herself. Just for fun.
    Oy vay. My life for more wine. Let's all get together after the show and do an excorcism cause the HG's are all possessed with some sort of mental malady, Kevin being the sanest one. K I'm gonna go lie in bed and talk to my sleeping husband about my whole fucking life starting at the age of, oh I don't know, a day.
    Can't wait 'til the end of this love/hate relationship. I feel so violated yet, in the words of Depeche Mode, I just can't get enough.

    Until we meet again,
    Sore Throat

  16. I don't really care who wins at this point. These houseguests arn't strong players, and havn't done much in the game.
    This was the worst season of BB, with some of the most deluded, self centered houseguests of all time.
    Though, Natalie winning is just something horrible to think about. Her whole game is based on lies, and her saying she played the game with her morals in tact is just infuriating. Calling the kettle black, aka calling michelle the devil is horrible. Her getting the 50,000 is cringe-worthy. Although, it might be worth it to see her reaction to see what kind of questions the jury throws at her.
    I'd be happy with anyone else winning.

  17. I have been voting Kevin Kevin Nat as well, I dont feel Jordumb deserves a dime!!! I pray Kevin wins 3rd part of HOH and takes Nat as well, J/J were the 2 worst BB players In 11 yrs, GOOOOOO KEVIN!!! WIN BB 11