Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Will My Leprechaun Live To See Tomorrow?

Yesterday, the last full day in the house, was filled with some minor excitement and some major disappointment. It's no secret that all I want is for Kevin to win. I don't really care who wins second place. I just want Kevin to win first place. I don't think he was a floater at all. He laid low when it was smart to and he played fierce when his life depended on it. He's been funny, sneaky, manipulating, and smart. Throughout it all he's always played strategic, never letting the personal get in his way. He's likable and he's a good game player. This is something none of the other finalists have. Jordan is simply likable and Natalie is simply a good schemer. Kevin embodies it all. I will be ecstatic if he wins Big Brother 11.

In the house yesterday all was relatively calm until a banner flew over the house. The feeds went down, the rumor mill began churning, and HG's started lying. I didn't see the banner. I don't know what it said. I don't even know if it had anything to do with BB. Secretly, I hoped it said, "Kevin you can beat Natalie in the final!" Kevin says he saw the words "Natalie" and "trust". Natalie says she saw the words "Kevin" and "liar". Jordan was off somewhere eating a tub of Crisco.

Kevin and Ragamuffin have a little spat over who he'd take to the Final 2. Ragamuffin tells Kevin he's dead if he doesn't take her. Kevin says a real friend wouldn't threaten him. Ragamuffin says a real friend wouldn't betray her. Ragamuffin is convinced that if she gets evicted tomorrow night, she'll have time to convince all the jurors that Kevin is the devil. She's fucking delusional. She'll get evicted, have a commercial break to sit down, and then they'll tell her to shut up. She'll try to make Kevin look bad if she gets a chance to ask him a question, but she won't be able to do shit or convince anyone of anything.

A little later Ragamuffin begins cooking up some crazy concoction that was some kind of pasta with dressing. Kevin was scared to eat it and I don't think Jordan touched it. They talk a little pop culture and Kevin tells Jordan she's like the Jessica Simpson of the house. She's blonde, sweet, southern, and pretty (you know he almost said stupid too). He says Jeff was her Nick Lachey and Jordan just laughs. Kevin guarantees her that she probably got a really cute edit and that America will love her. Who the hell does he think he is? Sylvia Browne? They talked a little about the jury and Jordan is convinced she has no way of winning. If Jordan was smart, she'd throw Part 3 today. That way Kevin would take her to the end and she'd get Natalie's vote.

OK here's what I want to happen: I want Jordan to win Part 3 and I want her to take Kevin. This is the only chance I can see of Kevin winning. He'll have Natalie's vote and most of jury save Jeff and Michele. If it comes down America's vote, Jordan will win the whole damn thing and I'll have to curse the country.

After "dinner", Jordan and Kevin go to lie down and hopefully sleep, but Ragamuffin marches in, plops her ass down, and begins to loudly play solitaire. It's futile for Kevin and Jordan to try to sleep so they wake up and Jordan begins to paint Natalie's toes.

Jordan also begins to paint Natalie's nails and, I must say, Jordan looks right at home. The HG's begin to plan what they'll wear tonight and Ragamuffin is just obnoxious and rude to Kevin telling him he'll look all busted if he wears his yellow plaid shirt. She wants him to wear one of his new outfits, but Kevin claims it makes him look too straight.

Eventually, they all move outside and the Final 2 talk begins. Jordan is, maybe for the first time, keeping me guessing. She tells Ragamuffin she's taking her to the Final 2 and says she already knows what she'll say when she evicts Kevin. Not 5 minutes after, Jordan tells Kevin she's taking him to Final 2 because she doesn't think she can win against Natalie. Kevin said his mind was made up during Pandora's Box and he's definitely taking Jordan. Unfortunately, I believe him. He has beeen practicing speeches against Jordan and he's had about enough of the Ragamuffin at this point. I'm really really nervous about a Kevin/Jordan Final 2. Would Michele really vote for Jordan to win? Would she not vote strategy at all? It would kind of shock me if someone like her voted out of spite. Jeff, Natalie, and Lydia will vote entirely personal and I expect that. Michele is a wild card in my mind. For someone who claims to be so smart, would she really ignore strategy in the final hour?

I have a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that Jordan will win Big Brother 11. I've already told Mr. O'Shaugnessy it might be better if he watched the show from his cubby hole tonight rather than from my lap. There's no telling what I'll do if Jordan wins. My collectible figurines are wrapped in bubble wrap and my china cabinet has been moved outside. Jordan winning is a joke... a big fat roley poley fucking joke. *warms up hot poker*

Jordan will win the whole damn thing and Jeff will win America's Favorite and I'll be forced to strangle some puppies and drink their blood. Do you have any idea how annoying the chat hags and Twitter will be if Jeff and Jordan win this shit tonight? OMG... I need some Xanax. There's nothing worse than menopausal smugness. I think I'll have to wear my black veil tonight and bury all the knives in the backyard. I was going to enjoy a bottle of wine tonight, but now I'm having second thoughts. A drunken Lala is a dangerous Lala. I could disembowel my leprechaun and set the neighbors houses on fire and where would that get me? Prison wouldn't suit me at all. They don't have Bravo or opium in prison I don't think. Seriously, you guys, I'm freaking out.

Before I forget, I need to mention Ross Matthews' interview yesterday with Keesha, Danielle, Boogie, and Janelle. Thanks to BB11_Unleashed for the tip. At the beginning of the interview Ross says that Dick was supposed to be there but he backed out. The look on Janelle's face is priceless. Remember when I speculated that Janelle and Dick had fought prior to last week's show? Well, it looks like my prophetic powers were right on the money. Ross mentions Dick's name and Janelle sneered like you wouldn't believe. It was filmed right after that live show last week and I'm now 100% certain that something went down between them. I should totally start giving psychic readings from now on.

Believe it or not, there is actually a silver lining to what could be a complete travesty tonight. I don't want to talk about it too much or I'll jinx it, but something could happen tonight that will cause me to dance naked to sweet sounds of Michael Bolton on the bagpipes even if Jordan wins. If it doesn't happen I'll have to dissect my leprechaun and send his body parts to various HG's, but let's think positive shall we?

I now open up the discussion to all of my superbly fabulous readers. Do you think Kevin has a shot of winning against Jordan? Who do you think Jordan will take to the Final 2? How do you think Michele will vote in a Jordan/Kevin Final 2?

Tomorrow I will indeed be posting my thoughts about tonight's show. I will also be announcing the winner of the Big Bitchy Contest. If you've enjoyed what I've done here this season, please feel free to click on my donate button and show me some love. Thank you so much for all of your support all season. It's been a blast and I look forward to doing it all again for BB 12.

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  1. Kevin WILL take Jordan. Michele WILL vote for Jordan to win. Jordan WILL win. Jeff/Michele/Nat/America.

    Jordan WILL take Natalie. Jordan WILL win. Lydia/Jeff/Michele/America.

    I think Jordan will take Nat over Kevin. She seeks Nat out to talk to her. She never seeks Kevin out, she only talks to him when he asks her. She told Nat 'I swear to God, I will take you.'

    And Michele may have played 'smart', but her game is over. She's had a few days to spend with Jeff in the jury house... she WILL vote for Jordan to win.

    If Jordan wins, I will eat all the babies in the world. I will punch old ladies in the crotch. And I will shove Michele up my ass just so she can't shove anything else up her ass.

    Damn you BB. Oh Kevin... I have no hope that you can win... but I will try to keep the faith.

  2. LOVE ur blog!
    I would say hide all your sharp objects because i think jordans taking this one :)

  3. LUV LUV your blog!!! I sooooooooo want Kevin to win BB 11 sooooooo BAD!!!! I dont feel Jordumb deserves a dang DIME in this game, Infact she didnt even earn her stipend, and what makes Nat better than Jordumb is the fact Nat said things to peoples faces while Jordumb talked nasty behing her own alliances Backs!! J/J just sickos to me, aweful aweful sickos.

  4. Its very sad. I think Kevin is going to take Jordan as well. I can see where his logic lies. He feels like he'd have Jessie and Russell's votes if Natalie weren't in the final 2, giving him 3. and then he'd leave it up to America. He's sure he's got too much blood on his hands. I can't see how he thinks he could evict Natalie and still win. Jordan is a pretty pony princess, he can't possibly believe he has America's vote over her. I'd say I want him to throw the comp to Jordan, but I don't think he could trust her to take him. His only solid chance would be to win and take Natalie. I'll be spending the rest of the afternoon sending my telepathic vibes to Kevin.

  5. Lala, I think you need to check and see if Mr. O'Shaugnessy is still hiding in his cubby hole or if he has run away. There's been sightings of a leprechaun up in a tree in Alabama. Do you think it could be him? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nda_OSWeyn8

  6. Great way to end BBAD: Kevin & Ratalie arguing, lol.

    I'll be out tonight & won't get home till the finale is half over. It's the DVR for me!

  7. Ella Rae that is HYSTERICAL! I love the lady who says, "It could be a crackhead!" LMAO

  8. Response to Ella Rae's vid:
    Any crack that will turn you into a leprechaun has to be good shit and that was a crackhead callin' a crackhead a crackhead if I ever saw one! I love the fact that they have a group of "Minute"-ture Men ready to take him down. They got a flute & errythang. hahahahahahahhaha Too funny.
    I hope Jordan loses because I really don't think she's smart enough to take Kevin and I don't think she'll beat Raganat. Although, when the former HG's found out she gives free bj's in college & not high school they were non too pleased. We'll see, but I think Kevin deserves it just for putting up with her "gnat buzzing around your face" personality. Seriously, the bitch never quits.
    We shall see. Can't wait,
    Sore Throat

  9. If Kev-o wins he's taking Jordan. He'll get Jessie, Lydia, Russell, and Michele (I think she's voting strategy - unless Natalie is up there). So Kevin for the win.

    If Jordan wins, dumbass is taking Natalie. Cuz that's what Jeff told her to do. Jordan will get Jeff, Michele, and America. So Natalie will win. (Even though Jessie and Russell can't stand Nat right now, I cant see them voting for Jordan, especially once all her scheming is revealed.)

    So I hope Kevin wins HOH and the $500K. And I hope Jordan doesn't win. I'm sorry but just cuz you're living at home doesn't mean you deserve $500K. Shoot, this is Big Sob Story. This is Big Brother, and you're supposed to win cuz you played the game. Just sayin'.

  10. I voted as many times for Kevin, Kevin, Nat on CBS as i could all week!! GOOOOO KEVIN ALL THE WAY BB 11 WINNER!!! (FINGERS CROSSED)

  11. Lil' Stanky Ragamuffin.

  12. I'd say for sure Jordan wins. Either way. After watching the preview of the jury round table discussion. Jeff says that all 'the strong players that got strong players out are sitting in the jury house'. Well JethroDoucheBag... how the hell do you think you and Michele are in the jury house? Cause Kevin sent your dumbasses there. Oy, he annoys the shit out of me. He will bully everyone into voting for Jordan. And if they don't...'they're all yo-yo's'.

    Then he tries to plead Jordan's case by saying she was the nicest person. Hogwash. This isn't Big Brother Sweethearts. It's a game you freaking loser.

    No way will Michele vote for Kevin over Jordan. Her need to be liked by Jeff is far too great.

  13. Kevin/Jordough final 2. Kevin will win. Jesse and Russell said that they would vote for rival Jeff, If he was in the final 2. I can't see them voting for the undeserving Jordough. Russell, Jesse, Lydia, and Michele(fingers crossed) will vote for Kevin. Jeff, Natalie, and America will vote for Jordough. I hope that America proves me wrong, and votes for Kevin. ideal situation, Jeff is the only person who votes for Jordough.

  14. Yo' Dumbasses! Looks like Jordan isn't the idiot you thought she was. She brought the player that won less (way less) than her. Gnat didn't deserve a dime, but Jordan won.

  15. Well, There goes poor Mr. O'Shaugnessy.

  16. Well, excuse me Michele, errr Michelle. But I said Jordan would win you douchebag. So who the hell are you calling a dumbass?

    And I don't give a shit if she just won the fucking nobel peace prize, she is still the BIGGEST idiot to ever be on a television screen. Now go shove something up your ass and stfu.

  17. Oh, Lala---all last night during the finale, all I could think of was you choking yourself on bathtub gin and strangling the leprechaun with your feather boa. I kept picturing Norma Desmond on PCP. I have to admit, I got the giggles.

    Jordan finally shook the cobwebs out of her brain and used it. I am sorry that the Scarfed One got screwed, but the LOOK on Ragamuffin's face when Jesse voted for the cookie monster was worth $500,000. Actually it was PRICELESS---PRICELESS. I broke out the wine and screamed "LET THEM EAT COOKIE DOUGH!"

    And later, I got the watch the strangest interview ever. A broken down Evel Dick, doing a tragic Keith Richards impression, trying to explain to Ragamuffin about the MILLIONS of haters she has, while she describes milking her 15 minutes into a career. She waxed poetic about convincing Grodner to foot the bill for a Big Brother wedding, while Dick choked on vodka and edged away from her slowly and looked at her like, "FUCK, She IS fuckin' delusional AND she really DOES smell." The poor bastard kept trying to explain how bad it was going to be and tried to talk her out of going to Vegas with the rest of the cast. Sad, sad, sad.

    I realize that it will take a while for you to recover, but "Tomorrow IS another day." For tomorrow brings SURVIVOR and more lucious people for us to pick apart while we drink happily and our BB memories fade away. So, pull up your stockings, fill that bathtub, get your stash of opium ready, and for the love of God, stop abusing that poor leprechaun. How the hell are you going to get that pot of gold out of him if he's cut into little pieces?

    Much Love,


    Lay off the menopause comments. Picture Phoebe when she was pregnant with the Source of all Evil's baby and her head explodes is flames everytime she had a hot flash. Now picture that about a hundred times a day. I'm fucking praying for snow so I can roll around in it like an estatic puppy rolls in shit while I wait for the fucking hormones to kick in.

    Where the FUCK is global warming when you need it?!!!!

  18. I'm amused by your site, more than a lot (you tho't I'd say a little, didn't you?)BUT, I was SO OPPOSED to your trashing of Michelle that I was ecstatic that the 'good guys' won over the evil! If I had 25k to throw around I would express it to Michelle. Nerds always seem to be picked on, even in adult life (on here is an example).
    On a lighter note, I am glowing in the fact that Kevin was no smarter than Jordan on the last comp...AND she beat him (ironic for all the hrs he & Gnat spent w/their clay cheater brd)!
    What did you think of the maternity dress? Isn't it time H. Klum stepped in w/her stylist to do the gurl a fav?

  19. Russell and Kevin were the only ones that voted on how the game was played, not personally. Russell said it best, "I am voting for the person who played the best game, from beginning to end". He voted for Gnat, as did Kevin. Jesse looked stunned, when he heard of Gnat's engagement. He got got. That news, combined with Lydiot's bad mouthing, was the reason he voted for Jordough. Jeff was extremely defensive, when it came to comments about Jordough not deserving to win. He knew they were right. Jordough's win is a joke.

  20. Wow. Poke Salad Annie won.

  21. LOL! Ahhmazing! This is Kevin...I got your myspace request and just spent a solid 15 minutes reading your posts! Hilarious! Thanks for the LOVE and brutal perspective! HEART YOU!