Tuesday, September 15, 2009

BB11: How We Got Here

Happy Finale Day bitches! It's been 10 weeks in the making and it all comes down to tonight. Personally, I think BB11 has been a great season. I can honestly say I've enjoyed it much more than BB10. The scandal, the drama, the fights, the scheming, the lies, the tears, the sex, the stupidity, the crazy... it all tickled my no-no and made me feel delicious all over. I don't watch BB for the friendships or the tanning. I watch BB to see how far people will go to win some money. The more outrageous and creative the game play, the higher my enjoyment factor. Let's take a look back at some of my most favorite moments.

Favorite Fight:

While "You got got!" and "You're a terrorist!" were definitely noteworthy, I think I have to say my most favorite fight of the season has to be Lydia all aboard the train to Crazy Town. It was also my most controversial post of the season. I praised Lydia for unleashing on Michele and calling her out in front of everyone. Lydia went batshit crazy dumping out Michele's beer, she slurred her words when confronted about being drunk, and she vowed to turn the house upside down if she was kept in the game. Lydia was always such a good time for me. It was poetry when she shouted to Michele, "Bipolar psycho bitch get your straitjacket and your padded room!” That's a quote that dreams are made of. Fairies come out of their hidden shelters and flutter around majestically when such divine insults are thrown. Lydia didn't stop there though, "Fake blue contact wearing ugly motherfucking tranny bitch!" Oh Emm Geee, it's heaven dipped in ice cream is what it is. She ended her divine soliloquoy with ""Fluck you Russhhell! I'm not slerrrrring my worbs!" Good times. Such good times. The house was never the same when Lydia left. Lydia did crazy with style like none other.

What was your favorite fight?

Click here to read the original post: All Aboard The Crazy Train

Favorite Ensemble:

(Image via Hamsterwatch... this was before I got bbreloader and did my own screenshots)

This cast was absolutely delightful in their outfits. We had Lydia's silver space pants, Natalie's apron dress, Laura's red Hookers At The Point dress, Kevin's pedal pushers, Ronnie's dorky shirts, Russell's fedoras, Jeff's Let's Dance t-shirt, Jordan's booty shorts, but my favorite outfit of all time has to be Michele's Canary Yellow Dress. When she wore it magical things happened. I might have to fight for it if she puts it up on eBay. LOL. Totally kidding. That thing probably stinks of ass and B.O..

What was your Favorite Ensemble?

Favorite Jason Bourne Moment:

I remember this day like it was yesterday. I was on my treadmill and I had set up my laptop so I could still watch the feeds while I worked out. Ronnie had been shunned from society and had taken to hiding out in the HOH room. All of a sudden Russell runs up the stairs to have a secret meeting with Ronnie. I leapt off my treadmill, while it was still running mind you, and ran to my computer. Russell making an alliance with Ronnie was indeed shocking, but what followed afterwards had us all giggling. Russ was trapped in the HOH and couldn't find a safe route back downstairs. He got on his belly and hid waiting for his chance to escape. That chance never came and he had to pretend he had fallen asleep while waiting outside the HOH to taunt Ronnie some more.

Click here to read the original post: A Day That Would Make Salvador Dali Jealous

Favorite Breakdown:

Michele takes this one by a landslide. It even beat Jessie's widows I think. Lydia had a few breakdowns as did Ronnie, but none can touch Michele in her yellow dress in the Green Room talking to herself and switching personalities. Actually now that I think about it, I'm thinking the breakdown where Michele kept staring at me might be better.

Favorite Good Time Moment:

(Image via BigBrotherLeak)

There were many all around funny moments in the house. Launch night beauty pageant, Michele talking about loving to lick ass, Lydia and Jessie in their sex forts, Jordan shaving her legs with a garden hose, Lydia painting Jessie's toes while he slept, Natalie drunk and yelling at everyone, the puke fest Graduation Day HOH comp, but one of my favorites was Truth Or Dare. When Natalie dared Kevin to cuddle Jessie while he slept I was in hysterics. She marched right in and put Kevin's arm across Jessie and Jessie awoke all pissy and angry.

What was your Favorite Good Time Moment?

Favorite Screenshot:

It was divine providence that delivered this precious gem. It's 100% untouched by human hands and, yet, it speaks volumes.

Favorite HG Backstory:

Early in the season I began creating backstories for some of the HG's. They were ridiculous little snippets into what I thought their childhoods might have been like. When the game play began to pick up and my updates got longer and longer, I had to cut back on my backstories and focus more on the game. While I enjoyed Jordan's Wilty Pine trailer park stories, I think Michele's Canary Yellow Dress Of Lesbian Love stories were my favorite. Fans of BBUK should note that Debbie is clearly based on Lisa. Here they are in case you missed them:

Part 1:
So much drama. Ugly drama too. Thankfully, Michele in her canary yellow hooker dress was there to brighten my spirits. This off the shoulder ruffled number is Michele's favorite ensemble. She remembers the day she bought it. It was 1996, her first year of college and her first time away from home. Michele and her roommate Debbie had gone shopping at the Salvation Army one day. Debbie was a unique girl... shaved head, combat boots, and a pierced eyebrow. Debbie had told Michele that she was a lesbian and Michele smiled thinking "lesbian" was akin to being "diabetic". She assumed Debbie would just give herself a few shots everyday and her lesbian condition would be kept under control. Little did Michele know...

It was a sweaty day in early September. Michele was still trying to fit in and Debbie made it her personal mission to help Michele out. They scoured the racks at the Salvation Army for hours finding only a striped purple tube top with the bottom all stretched out and a vintage army jacket with sweat stains under the pits. The girls were getting tired and were ready to throw in the towel until Michele spotted it... just a tiny glimpse of bright yellow peeking out from under a ripped feathered silk robe. Michele held the dress up to the light on it's simple wire hanger, the sun already beginning to set outside shot magnificent rays of red and pink illuminating the yellow dress like it was the second coming of Christ.

Debbie gazed upon it's magnificence. The girls looks at one another and smiled. No words needed to be said. They had found what they were looking for...

Part 2:
(This was written on the day when Jordan had called Jessie the "fag of America" and Michele got mad and stomped off.)

Michele remembered a singular moment when she had been out with Debbie's gang. They were leaving an extremely friendly female establishment called Ruby Fruit's. Her hair wild from the heat of 300 women dancing cheek to cheek, Michele was giddy on mojitos and tripping over her black patent leather stilettos. Debbie's friends Sally, Babs, Lucky and Tweety had fawned over Michele in her canary yellow dress. She was high on compliments and unfamiliar wandering hands cupping her breasts while swaying to Ani DiFranco's 'Shy'. No one had made her feel as loved and as carefree as the Ruby Fruit gang. Michele had finally found her niche. Her head cloudy and a cheeky grin plastered on her face Michele felt on top of the world. She felt invincible... until some oily rednecks walked by and upon seeing Babs and Tweety, handsome robust women, holding hands shouted "Fag!". Ever since then she's always hated that word.

Part 3:

Michele wasn't sure why, but she had to wear her canary yellow dress last night. Something deep in her bowels (possibly Chima's microwave pizza or possibly not) drew her attention to the pocket of sunshine nestled deep in her BB closet. She'd felt a slight tingling in her loins (where the Fates choose to attack) and remembered something Debbie had said to her on their last night together, "Whenever you need to feel beautiful, whenever you need to feel loved... wear your yellow dress and know that the Ruby Fruit gang is with you always. It's like the righteous babe Ani DiFranco said herself, "Let's not ask whats next, how or why, I am leaving in the morning so let's not be shy"" That last night together Debbie schooled Michele in the ways of female love. Whenever we see Michele wearing her yellow dress from here on out, we know she just wants to be special and relive the magic she felt that last night with Debbie.

Part 4:

It was a lazy Saturday in her University town, the kind of Saturday that screamed "Antiquing!". Debbie's friend Manuel had delighted in showing Michele what precious tchotchkes can be unearthed during a long day of yard sale hopping. Over the past few months she'd managed to collect 4 incomplete sets of Russian dolls, some fine mismatched china, and a handbag made of ostriche feathers, but nothing would rival the gem she managed to pick up today. The little old woman who lived in the huge Victorian on top of the hill was cleaning house. Her parrot Ferdinand had finally passed on and she no longer had use for all of her collectibles. She knew that she'd be joining Ferdinand soon enough in that big bird cage in the sky.

Manuel dragged Debbie and Michele to the old lady's estate sale. Behind the folding bird-themed card table Manuel discovered a rack of clothes. Dress after gorgeous dress lined the rack. Something other than their musty moth ball smell triggered something in Manuel. He'd seen these dresses before! He searched his memory fast and furious trying to remember who had once worn all these masterpieces. He looked at the label on one of the jumpers and read "Property of MGM". Of course! Only the patron saint of gays herself had worn each and every one of these dresses. Mary Richards... this was the ENTIRE collection of dresses worn by Mary Tyler Moore on the Mary Tyler Moore show! As it turns out the little old lady was the wardrobe mistress and she swiped the entire closet when the show went off the air. Manuel smiled his cheeky grin. He knew of the perfect girl to do these get-ups justice. Her turned to Michele and with a single solitary finger beckoned her over...

So what were some of your favorite moments of the season?

Yesterday's recap and predictions for tonight coming shortly. It's a 2 post day today bitches.

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  1. This season has been a great one. I thoroughly enjoyed it along with your recaps of what had taken place. I think this is a cast I will miss.

  2. I've watched BB for quite a few seasons and this cast was by far, the best. Every season after this will be boring to me. Lydia was the greatest hg ever. I love her.

  3. Favorite fight - FIGHT NIGHT. The night when Russell and Chima blew up, then Kevin kicked Ronnie's Ass (well practically chest bumped him anyway) Then Russell and Chima blew up and people were just running around the house screaming and coming unglued. It was one of my favorite nights period.
    Favorite Ensemble - Lydia as Captain Unitard. Never before has anyone worn the uni with such flair.
    Least Favorite Ensemble - The sausage casing Jordan wore for the finale. Note to self. Never wear something on national TV that you have to keep pulling out of your ass and keep tugging over your fake boobs.
    Favorite Good Time Moment - When Kevin cuddled with Jessie as part of Truth or Dare. I literally laughed until I cried. Jessie kind of ruined it by waking up and being himself. But it was still the best.
    Totally depressing ending to an awesome season. The sausage takes it all.
    Thanks LaLa for making the season even better by being you.

  4. This is the first season that I have watched from the beginning right to the end, and I loved every moment of it. Your site just made it so much more enjoyable.

    Thank you for a great season, and I will be looking forward to BB12 and your site!