Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Blonde Girl Problems

Life as a blonde woman is chock full of problems. I should know. I am one of this often looked over minority. While we may look like Nordic princesses on the outside with our light eyes and fair skin, no one knows the true pain of our daily lives, the pain that follows you the world over. Walking down the street in Madrid, Spaniards point and shout "Rubia! Rubia!" In Rome, men flock to me in circles three deep begging to buy me a gelato. Gelato isn't on my diet! Even here, in my own country, no one can understand the heartache that comes with getting self-tanner on your cream colored bathmats. And the extra expenditures that I have to endure on a monthly basis... I'm sure one of those welfare inner city people could totally never afford it. Root touch-up's, eyebrow pencils and sunscreen aren't handed out by the government you know. So while some not-blonde women are getting free cheese every week, I have to waste 30 minutes at the M.A.C. counter arguing with Tatiana over whether "Fling" or "Lingering" is the better color brow definer for me. Tatiana is such a bitch, I'll have you know. And while summer is inherently my season and I may look at home lying by the pool in my bikini, I am constantly at war with myself. What if I freckle? What if my scalp burns? I want to go swimming, but the chlorine... the chlorine! *weeps* Green pool hair is a flaxen girl's shame to wear three months out of the year. If only people took the time to understand our daily struggles, they might not be so quick to judge and shout slurs like "Barbie!" when we walk by. Let's recap, shall we?

Wednesday is usually my day off, but a conversation went down yesterday that I feel is important to touch on. It is the conversation that everyone has been waiting for. The fans have addressed it, CBS has addressed it, but the Houseguests themselves haven't addressed it... until now.

After weeks of racial slurs, awkward jokes and general all-around horrible behavior, Amanda has taken it upon herself to confront Aryan on the things that she has been saying in the house. Amanda didn't have to do it. No one told her to do it. And nothing yesterday precipitated it. She was very non-confrontational and approached it as a friend giving another friend advice. In the house, the two aren't besties, but they're trying to work together in a foursome alliance that includes, Asshat (Jeremy), Aryan, McCrae and Amanda.

When approaching a friend about delicate matters like bad breath, body odor, how fat they look in those capris or the extremely inappropriate racial slurs they've been spewing, it is important to be gentle and nonabrasive. Amanda did just that. Let's face it, it's not easy for anyone to say to someone else, "Hey bitch, you left your Klan hood on my bed last night." It is an incredibly awkward situation for everyone involved, but Amanda is worried that the comments could affect both her and her alliance's safety in the house.

Amanda: "I want to tell you something that might upset you a little bit. I want to tell you so that you're mindful of it."
Amanda: "I think you're joking every time there's any sort of like racial thing comes out of your mouth. Like, I do the same thing. But I think it's, I think the people who are a different race are taking it offensively. Like there was a conversation downstairs with like Howard, Candice and umm Helen and... who else was down there? There was a couple other people down there. There was some fish comment made and I don't think you meant it racist at all, but I don't think they know that. I don't think they know you're joking. So umm, just like, and that's what I said downstairs too, 'I think she was just joking.' You know what I mean? I don't think it was malicious."
Aryan: "The fish..." *scoffs*
Amanda: "People look for any sort of excuse to villainize you. Just like, just like, be careful."
Aryan: "Who was down there though?"
Amanda: "I don't know. I like walked in on that conversation. And this is not to like start shit. If you make comments like that, just be mindful that they're not taking it as a joke."
Aryan: "I don't even know what I said that they would think that."
Amanda: "I don't know. I wasn't even here when you said it, but you made some sort of segregated comment about the fish up here or something that like..."
Aryan: "Well, they are."
Amanda: "Yeah but like you said the black fish should get at the bottom where they belong or something like that."
Aryan: "No, that's not what I said. I said the black fish stay on the bottom because they're camouflaged on the bottom and that's where they hand out the welfare checks and the white fish stay higher because there's light and it's closer to God."
Amanda: "Just be mindful of it."
Aryan: "Who started that conversation?"
Amanda: "I don't know. It doesn't matter who started it. I just want you to know and be more mindful of it. I know you're not a racist person. This is just from a friend to a friend."
Aryan: "That is the most annoying obnoxious thing I've ever heard. There's nothing I can do about it. I don't feel like I need to pull someone up here to say something."
Amanda: "Just be mindful of it. Candice was saying it had malicious intent."
Aryan: "Candice is the one starting it! And when you said you never heard of the phrase 'Jewed over' that immediately put it in my head so now I'm saying it all the time. That's your fault!"
Amanda: "Uh huh."
Aryan: "When you're blonde and blue eyes, people will make a big deal out of everything. Candice is obviously insecure."
*Aryan stretches*
Aryan: "I just woke up. I don't want to talk about this anymore. There's nothing I can do anyways until I get back home and am able to burn crosses in peace. God, this is so annoying!"

Maybe I paraphrased some parts, but that is pretty much the gist of it. Bravo to Amanda for trying. I'm not sure I would have had the balls to say something.

But the real kicker of it all of this is that while Amanda was trying to warn her friend from becoming a target, her so-called friend and alliance mate is now using it against her saying that Amanda is starting shit. Rumors began to fly through the house about a "Minority Alliance" which Aryan then blamed all on Amanda. Even Howard is angry about it.

Aryan is a selfish little pig who takes any form of constructive criticism as a personal attack. I'd like to send her a message though. The only message that someone like her can understand. I want to make Amanda MVP this week after Elvira (Elissa) leaves. Lord knows, the girl deserves it. She went into the danger zone and emerged alive. She's in big trouble though next week and it would be pretty shitty for her to get booted out after she put herself out on the line like that. Let's make it happen, bitches!

So, what did you think of the conversation? Have you ever met anyone as selfish as Aryan? If I started a "Save The Blondes" fund, would you donate to it? Comment it out bitches and have a great day!

CBS Interactive Inc.


  1. I don't know why, but I think production told Amanda (in a diary room session) to talk to Aryan so she might be able to save face, or apologize or even make it worse (because ratings have never been better)

  2. Amanda became my favorite after watching this horribly uncomfortable conversation. I already liked her but to put yourself in that position...even if production encouraged her, is ballsy.

    I was worried while they were talking that aaryn would turn this around on her and of course she did. It's really too bad.

    Can't figure out how to post without picking Anon so I will sign this...


  3. Brilliant paraphrasing, CoLala! You gave me a good laugh for the day! As a brown hair/brown eyed mother to a blondie/bluey, I had no idea of the prejudice my daughter will endure as she grows older (she's only 8 now). You definitely have a pledge from me for the "Save the Blondes" fund to save y'all's bacon!

  4. first time poster, but been following ur amazing blog for awhile now. I just had to say this is some amazing writing, you definitely have a way with words. This post was beyond funny as well as touched upon very deep issues.
    I really believe that CBS purposely casts people (and women especially) on the younger side as those are usually less self aware. They have a very small filter and think the world revolves around them. Aaryn is obviously the epitome of that part, Dani Donato comes in second on my personal tally.
    Once Aaryn leaves the house and realizes what a shit storm she started and how much she lost in her real life through this bad (more like demonical) behavior I truly hope she will do a life accnt and comes out of it more enlightened - after a world can use less hateful people and everyone deserves a chance to change themselves.

    I was going to vote for Helen for next week but now will definitely be voting for Amanda. She needs it and to win HOH. Actually I would like to see Candice win HOH as that will create a total chaos in the house, especially on the white supremecist side...

  5. I love Amanda. I am going to vote now.

    Aryan is the devil.

    Great blog as usual.

  6. The sad part is that when young Aryan is reunited with Real Life, and hears the boos and reads the stories and sees the videos and fills out the unemployment forms, it will not be a life-changing experience for her. She'll think, "What is wrong with these fucking people?" and go on being what she is. Despite (or because of) the national headlines, nobody outside of her community will remember her by the end of October. She'll land some type of job, or marry rich, and live out the rest of her life as if this summer had never happened. She's more delusional than Jeremy the Cherokee, and nothing will ever convince her that it's her that's in the wrong.

    And, yeah...Amanda for MVP. I can get behind that.

    1. She'll become a real estate agent, marry a contractor, become born again.

  7. I love you bitch. I would go straight for you lol Amanda does need help, the guys are all intimidated by her and the girls don't like anyone but themselves (except maybe Helen)

    Amanda for MVP!

  8. Lmfao at a serious subject. Amanda has my votes for tackling this!

  9. Does anything faced by a departing houseguet in past BB approach the backlash/reality check that awaits Aryan? I usually tune out from the noise once the season is over, but will be definitely be watching when she gets her walking papers or... (no, no way she makes it to the end, will she?)

  10. You would pick the jew to root for.

  11. Probably just in the first paragraph for copy points....... but when your hair goes that green tinge from chlorine, you can rinse it with red wine vinegar. The red pulls the colour green from your hair and it is back to normal....... just in case you were serious

    1. You can also do the same thing with ketchup

  12. World English Dictionary
    Aryan or Arian (ˈɛərɪən)

    — n
    1. (in Nazi ideology) a Caucasian of non-Jewish descent, esp of the Nordic type
    2. a member of any of the peoples supposedly descended from the Indo-Europeans, esp a speaker of an Iranian or Indic language in ancient times

    — adj
    3. of, relating to, or characteristic of an Aryan or Aryans

    — adj , — n
    4. archaic Indo-European

    [C19: from Sanskrit ārya of noble birth]

    Arian or Arian

    — n

    — adj

    — adj , — n

    [C19: from Sanskrit ārya of noble birth]

  13. After watching the compilation on youtube of all the most of the crap several members said... Amanda said plenty of nasty things too. Sure, they weren't nearly as hateful as what Blondie said, but still, Funny Girl, doesn't have a leg to stand on either. "Pot calling the kettle black." The whole situation is pathetic.

  14. But Amanda said she did it. No fuss no muss that I've heard. Aryan is just deflecting.

  15. It would be funny if Aaryn's future daughter brought home a black boyfriend. I'm not talking
    lenny kravitz black but like Ladysmith black mambazo black! It happened to my sack of shit brother in law.Hes a huge homophobe and racist. His son turned out to be gay and his daughter just married a black guy.haha!

  16. Colette, has anybody mentioned how much Ju-DD sounds exactly like Jeff Boomhauer from " King of the Hill? "