Friday, July 12, 2013
All Hell Breaks Loose
What is there to say when the hairy underbelly of society peers out from underground lairs and exposes themselves to the world? What is there to say when the ickiest parts of reality smack you in the face? I'm not sure you need to say anything at all. Instead, you feel. You feel things like disgust, hatred, exasperation, anger, heartbreak, sadness, frustration and perhaps maybe even joy. Perhaps we come out the other side of all of this better people. Sometimes it takes watching a little ugliness to make us all shiny and pretty again. Let's recap, shall we?
It was a hell of a night that has taken me all morning to catch up on which is why this entry will be more photos than commentary. Believe me, I'll have plenty to say about it all tomorrow night on the Big Brother Gossip Show.
Let's start at the very beginning. That's a very good place to start. The live feeds switch on and all we hear is an injured seal wailing in the background. I don't know what sort of speedboat ran over this slimy creature, but it sounds like it is in agony. Apparently it's not-really-lover left and now the only way to get through it is to weep uncontrollably into a soiled pair of his boxer shorts.
Elsewhere we find some more sad ponies. "Oh my god, this sucks! I don't even want to be here anymore! I'm so over this. I just want to go home." Sportsmanship!
And oh yeah, this is still going on too. It's been like 2 hours, but the seal still wails.
Through the tears, the girls are finally able to form some thoughts. They collectively decide that Jessie is to blame for everything. She may be only one vote, but it was a vote against Nick and she betrayed the alliance that has treated her like shit since day one so, the hell with her!
VaGina (Ginamarie) later storms into the bedroom where the winning side of the house has been congregating. She points to Jessie and again blames her for Nick going home. Jessie tells her she'll be happy to talk to her later if she wants. VaGina is still too emotionally distraught over the "man that never loved her" to talk. Instead, she tells everyone else in the room how much she likes them - except Jessie! Except horribly hateful, she killed my last chance at love, Jessie.
Later, Jessie goes to her own bedroom to start picking up and putting away her clothes. But, what's this?! Eyebrows (Kaitlin) and Asshat (Jeremy) are lying in her sheets tangled up in one another eating ice cream off her pillow. Jessie sits next to them on the bed and says, "This is my bed. It's been mine since the beginning." Eyebrows replies, "Good luck with that!" And then the chunky chocolatey ice cream word vomit kept spilling out of Eyebrows' mouth and didn't stop until someone, probably, later stuck a dick in it.
Aryan then chimes in and wants to know why Jessie betrayed them. Jessie tells them openly and frankly that they've treated like shit and she knew she was the least important person in their alliance. She says, "I was never important to you guys so don't sit here and act like I was."
Then J-U-DD enters the room and Eyebrows shouts, "JUDD GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW!!!" J-U-DD ignores Eyebrows and walks over to Jessie. She tells him that the girls are ganging up on her and they stole her bed. Eyebrows then starts screaming at J-U-DD for lying to her face about how he was going to vote. J-U-DD, with his glassy Xanax eyes, glances at Eyebrows and mumbles, "hjsifioufsreuio" He sure told her!
Upstairs, Helen gets her HOH room and everyone is pretty festive about it except grumpy Aryan and depressed VaGina. Elvira (Elissa) cries over Helen's photos of her children and Helen cries as she reads her letter from home. Jessie quietly and quickly steals away from the HOH room and sneaks downstairs to reclaim her bed from that slut Eyebrows.
Eyebrows walks in and sees Jessie in the bed. She tells Jessie that it looks like she could use a little company so Eyebrows proceeds to crawl into bed next to Jessie. Jessie asks her to please leave her alone so Eyebrows moves to the end of bed and plants her bloody diseased vagina there. Asshat then enters and also begins to taunt Jessie. He crawls into bed with her as well and refuses to leave when Jessie tells him that he is making her uncomfortable.
Then, all hell breaks loose. Aryan has had just about enough of everything. In anger she flips over Candice's bed while Eyebrows looks on and giggles. Candice eventually walks in and asks, "Why did you move the bed?" Eyebrows replies, "I didn't touch that bed." Candice asks, "Who did it? Who touched the bed?" Not getting any answers, Candice asks Jessie to please go get Howard for her. Jessie says she can't because if she leaves then Eyebrows and Asshat will steal her bed.
Candice quietly begins to put her bed back together as Aryan walks into the room. Seeing Candice there, she spins around so fast it'll make your head spin. The little chicken shit ran right back out of the room.
Meanwhile, Jessie and Asshat are still bickering on the bed. You can see his legs up there in the frame. That's him in bed with Jessie. Jessie asks him again to please leave her alone. She says, "I've asked you respectfully." Asshat replies, "And I resepectfully decline your wishes." Over on the other bed, Eyebrows bursts into hysterical laughter and starts making weird quotation marks as she screams at Jessie about how that's not her bed to claim. I have to say something here. Something I've never said on this blog. Eyebrows is a fucking bully. I hate that word and I think it's overused and abused, but this bitch is mean. She taunted Jessie all freaking night and she took an evil pleasure in it. It was, I hate to say it, out and out bullying. Eyebrows showed a different side of herself last night. We've all seen her vagina. This time we saw what a hateful cow she is.
Eventually, Aryan comes back into the room. Asshat asks her if she got in trouble. Aryan flips her hair and giggles, "No." Candice then says to the room that if anyone flips her bed again, it's going to be all out hell in the house. Eyebrows then shouts, "Whoo! I'd like to see that." Aryan then puts on what I think is supposed to be a black voice. She says, "What you gonna do gurrrl? The black gonna come out of you?!" She then snaps her fingers and slides her neck back and forth. She continues, "Do something. Do it right now. I want to see riiiiight now." Aryan again makes what are supposed to be "black girl" motions. Candice replies, "I'm not doing anything right now." Aryan barks, "Well then, don't talk. And first of all, I wouldn't get in yo bed anyways with all them crabs."
*silence* Oh my god.
Howard then enters and gives a look. A look so priceless I want it on a poster.
And then, for some reason, VaGina jumps up and starts screaming in Candice's face, "What you gonna say? What you gonna say? What you gonna say?" Candice replies, "I'm not going to say anything." VaGina continues, "The blacks this way and the whites that way!" Howard then lifts Candice up and carries her out of the room. The last thing we hear is Eyebrows, "Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh I just wanted to smack her right there."
We then find Candice and Howard in the Have-Not. Candice is angry and sits in silence while Howard tells her that everything they say to her, all the racial stuff, is like them calling him the N-word. He tells her he doesn't want her sleeping in that room because he has a temper and if he goes back there, he'll lose it and get sent home. He says it breaks his heart to see those girls attack his black queen. He says that since Big Brother is allowing it to continue that they must want it to play out. He tells her that they need to think long term. Of course the stuff they say bothers him, but he turns to his Bible and that is the one thing that helps him.
Candice then starts to cry over the thought of Asshat and Eyebrows in her bed. She really wants her own bed. She says her favorite part of being in the house is getting to sleep next to Howard at night in that bed. Howard continues to try to reason with her. He tells her that all of this is so much bigger than the bed. He tells her that when CBS called his friends to see how his temper was, he told them all to lie. He said he never would have been put in the house if they really knew how he can get. He says he'll blow everything, lose the money and go home, but if he does that then Candice will truly be alone in the house. Candice continues to cry about losing the bed. That bed is incredibly important to her. I think it's a symbol to her. A symbol that she has something she can rely on in this game.
Candice eventually leaves and Howard is left alone in the Have-Not. It's a gut wrenching scene as Howard tries to fight the tears, but he can't. He clutches the suitcases and begins to cry. Watching him on my laptop, my own tears began to fall. At that moment, I felt all of Howard's anger and frustration. I felt with him and I felt for him. He begins to plead with God to please help him through this. Please guide him. He grips the suitcases even tighter and cries all that much harder. It might be the most emotional thing I've ever seen in the Big Brother house. It absolutely broke my heart.
Big Brother then comes on the loud speaker, "Would Howard please go to the Diary Room?" Howard exhales and tries to compose himself. You know the last thing he wants to do is let the other Houseguests see that he has broken down. Watching him try to regain his composure, I started to bawl. I literally ached for this man. Thinking about it again now, the tears return.
But I don't want to end this on a sour note. I want to end this on a beautiful note. I want to end this with justice and grace. I want to end this telling you about how Amanda gave Aryan the smackdown of her life! Back in that bedroom of horrors, Amanda enters and she's fet up with everyone attacking Jessie. Jessie isn't the only one who cast a vote for Nick. She tells them that they've been treating Jessie like shit since the beginning so it's no wonder she flipped and joined the other side of the house. Amanda tells everyone in that room that they've all talked shit about each other. Aryan has talked shit about Eyebrows and Eyebrows has talked shit about Aryan. How can they be in an alliance with each other when they don't even trust one another?
Amanda then turns to Aryan and told her she should have been nice to Elvira and Howard when she advised her to be. She says she was just trying to help Aryan. She even went to her as a friend and tried to help her shake herself loose from all this racism stuff. Aryan asks her all snottily, "You were being a friend?" Amanda says it is so obvious that the show is portraying Aryan as incredibly racist and she was trying to help Aryan. Aryan asks, "How do you know that?" Amanda tells her that she's been asked about it over and over again in the Diary Room. The whole house has been asked about Aryan's racist shit! Amanda says she was trying to do Aryan a favor. Aryan says, "What you're doing right now, that's trying to help me?" Exasperated, Amanda replies, "Absolutely!" Aryan says it's fucked up what Amanda is doing right now because Aryan hasn't said anything racist. Amanda says that she finds it hard to believe since the entire house has been questioned about Aryan's racism yet she's not a racist. Big Brother then comes over the loud speaker, "You are not allowed to talk about your Diary Room sessions," Amanda points in the direction of the voice and laughs.
Aryan sits smugly which obviously doesn't sit well with Amanda. So what does Amanda do? She outs all of their secrets! She tells the room how Aryan has been bitching about what a slut Eyebrows is and how Eyebrows had her vagina on Aryan's swimsuit. She tells them how Aryan said that Eyebrows was coming between her and Jeremy and how she and VaGina don't trust Eyebrows. Amanda ends her assault by telling them how ridiculous their alliance is. She says the point of an alliance is being with people you trust. How can they call themselves an alliance when all they do is talk shit about each other all the time? It was genius and fabulous and I'm SO GLAD Amanda did what she did. Bravo!
So, what did you think of last night? Should Aryan be punished in some way? Will Howard ever confront her? Have you voted yet for Amanda for MVP? Don't forget! Vote 10 times for free online. Comment it out bitches and have a great day!
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