Monday, July 22, 2013

Hnmm Mnmm

I   like   thiiiink   that   all   of   you   are   soooo   disgusting. Hnmm mnmm. Whooores   and   sluuuts   annnd... where did I put my granolaaa? Unh. Maybe   laterrr   I'll   do   some   yogaaa, mnmm, or   maybe   I'll... you know, I   don't   appreciate the look you're   giving   me   right   nowww. Hnmm mnmm. I left my family   to come   here. My little boy   is suuuch a treasure. Who   made   these   cookiesss? I'm only going to have   one, hnmm mnmm. *eats a dozen* I like  think   it's   really ruuude   that you left   those   cookiesss on the counter   for me   to eat. Pine cone. You should probably  like   apologize   to   me, mnmm. The   fact that you're   such a nonentity   is   so   ruuude of you. Hnmm mnmm. Will   youuu wrap   my   head in   tin foilll? Uhn. Do it   tiiighterrrr, mnmm, I feel liiiike... ceiling faaan unh... what   are   you   doinnnng? Why   did   you   wraaap   me in   tin foilll? I said   duct taaaape. Hnmm mnmm. If you   sayyy you're   sorrry, I can for... maldehyde. That's   what   they   put   dead  baaabies innn, unh . Or   maybe   you put   some in   your cookiessss. If you're   goinnng to   beeee aggressive with  mee, fabric softener. Hnmm mnmm. Let's recap, unh, shall wweee? Hnmm mnmm.

If any of that made any sense to you, you are far better people than I. You also probably do a lot of drugs. Nevertheless! Nevertheless, we have another fun-filled day in the Big Brother house to tackle. Let's begin bright and early at 7am. This is not by choice, mind you. This is because Helen's prancercizing is keeping me from sleeping! *clomp clomp clomp... swish swish... clomp* Helen's 8pm curfew may bring us some much needed peace in the nighttime, but it also means she's bright-eyed and ready to go at the buttcrack of dawn. After endless clippety-clopping around the house, Helen ponies her way into Elvira's (Elissa) room, "Oh good, you're awake!" "I wasn't... hnmm mnmm. You're soooo louddd."

After another quick 15 jumping jacks, Helen scurries up on Elvira's bed for a whisper sesh. Helen sighs and can't believe that Elvira isn't able to play in the next POV. Elvira replies, "I just need to win HOH, uhn." And, you know what? Something tells me she will. Something in my groins or my guts is telling me that next week will be a grueling Ashtanga Yoga/Reilly Trivia Endurance Competition... "Are you ready, Houseguests? Surya Namaskara to Padangushthasana to Utthita Trikonasana to the Reilly Family Tree where you must identify Rachel's 2nd cousin once removed. Go!" Yeah, I have a feeling that Elvira unable to play in the next POV will be no problem at all for the lass.

Helen suggests to Elvira that maybe they should try to help Howard or Jessie win HOH so they'll get rid of Amanda while Helen and Elvira keep the blood of their hands. Speaking of Amanda, Elvira thinks Amanda is the MVP that nominated her. Now, you and I both know better than that. You and I know that we were the MVP. We also know that after last night's CBS edit, Amanda is most likely the third replacement nominee. It's either that or she's simply a tool in the "Let's make Howard look charming and untouchable so he wins it all" plan. Either way, I'm not happy about it.

Next Helen chasses over to Andy and without any hesitation whatsoever she launches into a lecture about how Amanda and McCrae wanted her to put up Howard last week. Earlier, Helen whispered under the door to J-U-DD and he told her that he was upset at how Amanda and McCrae are pressuring him to put up Howard this week. All along J-U-DD thought Aryan was the target. And, according to Helen, J-U-DD is frustrated and upset at how Amanda and McCrae appear to be running the show. I didn't see the conversation between Helen and J-U-DD myself, but Helen has a knack for exaggeration so take anything she says with a grain of salt.

Helen then tells Andy that she think Amanda will put her up if she wins HOH next week. Andy immediately shakes his head and disagrees. He tells her that that isn't true at all (and he's right). Helen again reiterates how angry J-U-DD is with Amanda. She warns Andy that they need to be extremely careful when dealing with Amanda and McCrae, "We have to be really careful. I trust McCrae, but we have to be really careful."

Elvira then enters the bathroom and tells Helen and Andy that she's been paying attention to who gets called into the Diary Room. She thinks this will reveal who the real MVP is. She also tells them that she doesn't particularly like talking to Howard because he always talks in circles and it bothers her, hnmm mnmm. Before leaving the bathroom, Elvira reiterates that Aryan is still the target this week.

As Elvira leaves, Jessie enters and is just itching to tell Helen and Andy all about McCrae's birthday party last night. Before Jessie can tell them about how rude Elvira was to Amanda, Elvira reenters the bathroom forcing Jessie to just talk about the party in general. Jessie says, "It was super scandalous." Elvira nods and agrees. First off, it wasn't the least bit scandalous. Everyone was involved in it. Everyone was cracking up. Basically, Amanda put on a one piece bathing suit and pretended she was a dominatrix. Spencer and Howard held McCrae captive as Amanda kissed McCrae's torso 24 times. She then spanked McCrae with a plastic spoon 24 times as everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, counted very loudly from 1 to 24. The party was fantastic and everyone was laughing, giggling and having a great time. It was probably the happiest I've ever seen the house. McCrae even announced to everyone that it was his best birthday ever. No one's clothes came off. No sex acts were performed. It was just a group of people having a blast.

The problems came about because Elvira is a heinous bitch who can't stand not being the center of attention. After the spankings were over, someone in the room (I can't remember who, but it wasn't Amanda) suggested that Amanda put whipped cream between her breasts and let McCrae lick it off. Amanda laughs and then we hear it... from just off camera, "If you dooo thaaat, I'm going to vommmiiit. Hnmm mnmm. That's so disgusssting, unh." The entire mood of the room immediately shifted to an awkward silence. Amanda sat in the chair trying not to look hurt and says, "That was rude." But Elvira wasn't done. Oh no siree bob. Elvira then launched into a rant about how gross one piece bathing suits are and why would anyone anywhere in the world ever wear one. Amanda, sitting there IN A ONE PIECE BATHING SUIT, mumbles an excuse about how she left something downstairs and she quickly leaves the HOH room. Once downstairs, she breaks down in tears.


Jessie's version of the story made the party sound like an Bacchanalian orgy full of hedonism. It wasn't! And, if I recall correctly, Jessie was clapping and singing and chanting along with everyone else. Hearing Jessie's version of the party, Helen shakes her head and says, "I'm so glad I wasn't there. I don't want my husband seeing that. He wouldn't approve." Bitch, shut up.

Jessie then tells Helen that when Amanda was downstairs crying, Aryan, Eyebrows (Kaitlin) and VaGina (GinaMarie) were the ones comforting her and talking shit about Elvira. Jessie says they need to be careful of Amanda now because the other side of the house is clearly trying to recruit her.

Outside, McCrae's birthday party is still a hot topic. With righteous Helen constantly jabbering on and on about how glad she is that she wasn't there because of her curfew, the others have no choice but to agree with her and tsk tsk tsk over Amanda's behavior. Spencer even shakes his head saying that he'd never be involved in something he wouldn't want his family to see. Oh really, Spencer? Is that why you were grinning ear to ear at the party? Is that why you were doing the white man's dance and cheering during the band-aid striptease last week? Is that why you leer creepily at Jessie's ass and make remarks about how you want to eat her tampon? You sure are a paradigm of pious behavior. Your girlfriend and family should be very proud about how you told J-U-DD to finger Jessie so you could smell his fingers. And wasn't it just last night you said, "I'm in a secret alliance with Jessie's nipples." Shut your trap, you hypocrite.

The puritanical bullshit party continues with Helen repeating, "I'm so glad I was in bed. I'm so glad I wasn't there. I'm so glad I went to sleep." Perhaps Jessie began to realize how much Helen was blowing everything out of proportion because she begins to change her tune and say how entertaining Amanda was. She says Amanda is so funny and outgoing that she reminds her of Chelsea Handler. Jessie says that Amanda's fun personality might help her with a career in comedy. Helen shrugs her shoulders while Spencer leered up Jessie's shorts from behind his sunglasses.

Inside, Candice and Elvira are in the Storage Room. Word has gotten back to Elvira that she made Amanda cry last night so she begins to push Candice for information. Candice tells Elvira that she hurt Amanda's feelings last night. She says perhaps the all the alcohol Elvira consumed was to blame. Elvira then says, "I wasn't drunk at all last night. I only had one glass of wine." Ha! Not. Elvira was flicking off the cameras, telling all the producer's to eff themselves and she even started talking about the wives of the crew. She better hope for her sake that she was drunk. Otherwise, she's truly psychotic. Andy then enters the room, "Heyyyy!" Elvira turns to Andy and asks him why Amanda was crying. Andy tells her the same thing Candice did, "Amanda's feelings were hurt."

Candice, now with a serious case of Helen-itis, heads outside to tell her version of the birthday party. She begins by telling Helen that what Amanda did wasn't the least bit scandalous. She says that Amanda was in a leotard and there was nothing distasteful going on at all. Candice continues and tells Helen how Elvira was calling Amanda a whore and saying she was disgusting. So far, Candice is being accurate and I felt a little proud of her for telling the truth. But then, she loses my pride and claims that Amanda ran downstairs crying and was being a total drama queen. She claims that Amanda was "acting". Ugh.

So I've watched the party a few times now and, like I said before, when Amanda got upset she left the room all alone. It was Aryan and Eyebrows who entered the bathroom and found out that Amanda was crying in the toilet. Aryan and Eyebrows consoled Amanda which then turned into all of them bitching about Elvira. Aryan was relieved that finally everyone could see what she's being saying all along about Elvira - Elvira is a mean girl.

The game of Telephone continues on and on with Candice stopping to chat with everyone about Amanda just like Helen did. Let's fast forward a bit to where Amanda is finally awake. She quickly discovers that this Elvira "whore" thing has become an issue. She tells Helen she is completely over it and doesn't want it to be a big deal today. Last night her feelings were hurt, but today she's not going to hold a grudge about it. Helen advises Amanda to talk it out with Elvira. Hearing this, McCrae nods and tells Amanda that they need Elvira's vote for the numbers.

Elvira eventually comes outside and sits on the couch next to Amanda. Amanda tells Elvira straight up that the comments about the whipped cream hurt Amanda's feelings. Amanda said that at the time she interpreted it as an attack on her weight. It also didn't help that Elvira mentioned the Spearmint Rhino (a strip club) when she was trash talking Amanda. Amanda tells Elvira that she's body conscious being bigger than the other girls and that Elvira's comments made her feel like her sexuality was disgusting. She also tells Elvira that alcohol was probably a factor in why things turned sour. Elvira says, "I only had one glass of wine." Amanda says, "We shared the bottle. You kept flicking off the cameras and calling out the producers." Elvira insists she wasn't drunk at all. Then she looks down at the plate on her lap and says, "I have an issue with food. I've never even been to a strip club." What? What does have to do with anything?

And this is where things became very creepy. Elvira shrugs her shoulders and says, "I had nothinnnng to doooo with the strippp showww, unh. I don't understaaaand why I was brought into ittt. Hnmm mnmm." Yo, home skillet, you were brought into it because YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WAS THERE TALKING SHIT!!! Amanda replies, "What do you mean?" Elvira says, "I don't think I said anythinnng offennnsive, mnmm." Amanda brings up the one piece bathing suit crap Elvira was saying and how she interpreted it as an attack on her weight. Amanda says, "You hurt my feelings." Elvira replies, "That offends me." Wait, como what? Baking Powder? This bitch is completely insane!

Realizing she's not going to get anywhere with Elvira, Amanda apologizes to Elvira for offending her. It was horrible and frustrating and I hated watching Amanda stoop to Elvira's level. But, as McCrae warned her earlier, they need Elvira's vote. So, instead of calling out Elvira and making her own up to her remarks, Amanda apologizes and the two hug it out. It was a mind boggling scene that you should Flashback if you haven't seen it. The ability Elvira has to turn herself into a victim is a fearsome thing to behold.

Later that evening, when VaGina approached Elvira for making fun of her for not having a college degree, the same thing happened again. VaGina ended up complimenting Elvira , chit chatting about hair extensions and apologizing to her. It was truly bizarre and horror movie scary.

So, that's that for yesterday. Elvira is completely insane, but she somehow gets away with it and makes people kiss her ass. Today we find out who goes up in her place on the block. While I hope it's not Amanda, the target for this week is still Aryan. Elvira is hellbent on getting Aryan out of the game as soon as possible. Will something happen between now and then to change things up? Probably.

So, what did you think of the birthday party? Were you grossed out watching Amanda apologize to Elvira? Who do you think will be the third replacement nominee? Is Elvira even human? Comment it out bitches and have a great day!

CBS Interactive Inc.


  1. hnmm mnmmm cheese

  2. The world is full of manipulative bitches (I don't mean that in a nice "Bitchy" way) like Elissa, who act offended as a means to gain power over other people. They disgust me. She disgusts me. And CBS disgusts me for not only putting her in that house, but giving her a free ride. Hnmm mnmm, my fucking ass. She's such a twat.

    But that's just my opinion. :)

  3. As if I didn't dislike Rachel Reilly enough already, I will never forgive her for ruining my summer pleasure by pushing her sister into it. Elissa will be the worst player ever to win BB, Jordan Schroeder notwithstanding. I foresee BB 16 being Team Rachel vs Team Elissa, and I will spend my summer evenings binge watching "Hot In Cleveland" instead. Thanks for nothing, Grodner.

  4. I too was a big Amanda fan early in the game but her overbearing nature is grating on the nerves. Ellissa is just a beatch who is riding the entitlement train. Without AG's manipulation she would be out on her tight ass. I was happy J-U-DD won hoh but watching his spineless reign has given me agita. I actually have been thinking of not watching this cesspool anymore. The entertainment value is negligible.

  5. After watching the Riley sister's mamma on the Brenchal wedding, it all makes sense. ;)

  6. I like Amanda. that I said that, I also think she needs to chill out. She is pushing the Howard thing too much and if I can feel her panic here at home, they can feel it there.

    I actually didn't mind Elissa up until the birthday stuff. I mean she is not playing BB but she didn't bother me. She is absolutely a mean girl. No doubt.

    The strangest thing that happened in my eyes is that I actually had a smidge of sympathy for Aaryn. She is awful...horrible...ignorant and yes...Racist. No doubt in my mind, but up until the Birthday thing no one (me included) believed that Elissa had done anything to Aaryn to make her not like her. Now we get a glimpse into what kind of things may have happened before the feeds were turned on. It's at least a small explanation as to why some people feel the way they do about Elissa.

    Personally, I want Helen and Spencer out of the game. Helen drives me crazy and Spencer is disgusting. I know it's not gonna happen because Helen in a ''Mom'' (Why is that working this year??) and Spencer is everyone's best friend. ick.


    1. I agree with this. Amanda is far from perfect - yes, I'm rooting for her, but, yes, she can be very intense. I'd love for her to succeed in getting Howard out, but she has no idea that production clearly has other ideas.

      And I may be nuts, but Aaryn is really growing on me. She's young and she's said some stupid things, but I don't mind her so much and I like how she stood up for Amanda. I'd love for her to stay this week. It would suck if she left this soon.

    2. LALA,

      You ARE nuts for having Aaryn growing on you. You OBVIOUSLY like "the bad people." First, I don't get Amanda now..Why was she crying? Elissa said she LOOKED like a stripper. I thought the whole idea of the whole THING was for Amanda to do a stiptease. Her GOAL was to look like a STRIPPER right? So why is she crying??? Seriously. She should have taken it as a compliment. Also one pieces are unappealing..and YOU know it. And um..I wouldn't want to see her lick whip cream off McCrea either. I'm sorry but as much as I love amanda she is a TOTAL TOTAL stripper..come on! Didn't you see her on the feeds last night covering her nipple with that cubic zircona?? That was hilarious but proves my point. She's scandalous but doesn't like getting called out on in a cries...what? That's fodder for bitchy comments yet you fail me.
      And another thing, Amanda is SO nasty to Candice she's annoying the hell out of me. And nasty to her face..what the hell? "move your big ass" go on a tirade about that. Though you were an equal opportunity to these people. You bitch about EVERYONE except her and McCrea.

      You need to start shit talking about your girl a little bit or else I'm going to think you're her sister.There IS PLENTY of shit to talk about her!! Be an equal opportunity offender.

      P.S. your Elissa rant was awesome..I could literally hear her voice in my head while reading

    3. I'm not an equal opportunity anything. Never have. Never will be. I like the imperfect and controversial. Just look at my Survivor Blog where Abi was my favorite. Thanks but no thanks - I don't take requests.

  7. Love Amanda! Wouldn't mind it if Aaryn stayed awhile longer just for entertainment value. Elisa sounds like she's having sex when she talks. Not sure if McCrae is even playing agame. Seems lime he's just "there" and not really doing anything other than entertaining Amanda. Out of all of them Amanda has my vote for the win.

  8. I have no idea where the vote is going this week, could depend on the 3rd nominee. Any guesses on the replacement MVP nom? My personal vote would be for Helen, but I doubt that's happening. I agree it won't be Howard.

    Possibly Amanda, it would force Kaitlin and Gina to either side with Amanda, McCrae, Andy, Helen(?) to get Aaryn out or side with Spencer, Howard, Candice, and bounce Amanda (I hope not). She got a great edit early on, but she needs to tone it down a bit. They've shown how she tried to run Judd's HOH and her and McCrae are the biggest target as a couple now.

  9. They are all nuts. All of them. I hate them all equally.....except Howard......cause I got a full frontal pic of his wing wang. Then I hate him too.

    But I love watching all of them meld, implode, explode, reinvent themselves, and then recycle.

    Aaryn needs to go because I really cant wait to be entertained by her outside the house. It will be big news.

    did I mention I love to Hate them all?

    dark in da house

  10. Colette, I'm with you. Amanda, McCrae, and Andy are my favorite and the only hamsters I can tolerate. I am worried about all three right now. All of a sudden everyone but Andy is on the let's get McAnda out. I see DR manipulation for sure. Amanda may be pushy but she is 100% right on about Howard. He is the linchpin in getting the other side of the house together. He is already doing it. Most likely with coaching coming from the DR. TPTB can't have that with all the racist unrest going on outside the house. They have to protect Howard, Candice, Helen, and Elissa at all costs. Since Amanda is the only one stirring the pot , she is the sacrificial lamb being led to the slaughter. J U DD said last night that there was too much DR and production interference going on, and almost all of the POV players stated that the comp was rigged for Elissa to win as all the high numbers were in her lane. If Amanda is the replacement nominee, I fear for her safety. KimG

  11. Aaryn needs to go. I find her racist comments over the top, and since they make me have flashbacks to the evil kids in elementary school, I'm ready for her to go. I know that someone who hasn't experienced racism might not feel that way, but I'm ready for chick to go silently into that good night. I love BB and she makes me not want to watch. So, ya. OVER HER RACIST ASS.

    I could take or leave everyone else. They've all had despicable moments. All of them. They all grate my nerves and I can only take so much of them. I'm glad I'm not holed up with them because I'd probably stab someone with a mascara wand.

  12. My line of the day yesterday:
    J-U-DD and MC talking in HOH....J-U-DD talking about Elissa...
    BB: You are not allowed to talk about production.
    J-U-DD: Is Elissa fucking production?!?
    I love him!

    I agree with Anon above, who only likes Amanda, MC and Andy (OMG Andy has literally been making me laugh out loud, who knew he would grow on me so much?). J-U-DD is OK also, but I hope this new allience he has with Howard, GM, Kait and Spencer is BS, because that is my BB group from hell.

    I have a theory and I pray I am wrong, but I am mulling CBS trying to get Howard, Helen and Candace to finale (to make a stand, so to speak). Talk about killing my summer, I hope that never comes to be.They bore me to tears.

    Oh, and Howard and Candace, is there anything as poisonous to live feeds than those 2 in deep conversations? Besides Helen, I should say. H & C annoy the hell out of me lately, the fauxmance is brutal.

  13. Why isn't Elvira disgusted by her own sister, Rachel. Didn't Rachel have sex with Brendan in the house a few days after meeting him? What Amanda did was nothing in comparison to that. Also, didn't Rachel work as a cocktail waitress or something similar in Las Vegas? Not exactly classy compared to a real estate agent.

    1. Rachel was a cocktail waitress but the bitch had a masters degree in chemistry. That is nothing compared to being a real estate agent. That takes at least 6 years to get done..and it's chemistry. It takes dedication to get a college degree (which is why Gina Marie gets butt hurt about not having gone to college). Women are strippers and cocktail waitresses for the money not for the class it brings.

      Don't talk shit about Rachel!She won BB. She won my respect that season and hasn't lost it since..well maybe a bit after seeing her chum up with D Donato.

    2. I don't believe I talked shit about Rachel.

    3. Anonymous, I'm not trying to be funny but...are you slow? It was nice of the doctors to allow you some computer time today. Might be time for your nap though.

      Rachel did not win BB13. The season was designed for her to win. Actually, I'm thinking it was designed for Jeff to win but his dumbass couldn't keep it together. Anybody other than a veteran winning BB13 was never going to happen. Get your head out of your ass.

    4. NO I'm not slow bitch. I"m just not paranoid like your ass. Stop smoking so much meth and relax.

  14. Back in the 50's their was a huge scandal concerning the rigging of game shows. People went to jail. Doesn't the interference by production constitute rigging the game? And if so, why isn't their a hue and cry re: this state of affairs?

    1. If you check out the history that relates to QUIZ SHOWS. This is not a quiz show. ( i don't think)
      Try it out. It's all speculation at this point as there could be possible answers for everything.

      i.e. Elissa said "She knew she was going up friday" for MVP nom.
      EVERYONE says that right after or before they go up.EVERYONE has a Gut feeling they are going up. Why anyone would think it was rigged is stupid. Elissa is at fault for everything!

  15. Not near the same thing, it's not a "game show", it's a reality TV show. What's not to say that Survivor production doesn't steer certain tribe members as to where immunity idols are?

  16. While I like Amanda, dare I say, at least Andy is playing the game even if he is in every camera shot. I think I want Andy to win. Detest Spencer! Uggg...makes me shiver in disgust.

  17. It was auvi that Rachael had emotional problems but I never thought she belonged in a mental institution. I can not say the same for her halfwit sister. If you're a halfwit compared to Rachael does that make you a quarterwit?

    I truly enjoyed watching Crotch Rot(Amanda) cry even though I know it was an act. You can't really hurt her feelings because she doesn't have any but it sure is fun to try.

    There does seem to be more than one Andy or maybe he's figment of our collective imaginations.

  18. Its a game show. Real World and Jersey Shore are reality shows. Shows such as BB , Survivor, et all have game components and the contestants are competing for a cash prize. Real World and Jersey Shore participants are paid for their appearance on the show.

  19. It's a reality competition. It's a fusion genre between game and reality. I don't know if the houseguests get paid per episode, but I do know the castaways get paid for every episode they appear in (even in the credits) and then again to be at the reunion. They are considered employees, where people who compete on like wheel of fortune are not considered employees.

    I hope Aaryn stays, because it's been nice to see that she's not really a xenophobe. She's extremely catty but she is also less mean than Kaitlin and less crazy than GinaMarie.

    1. To my knowledge you have that backwards. It is common knowledge that the house guests get a stipend for every week they are in the house. They talk about it constantly. I have always heard that Survivor contestants don't get paid. The winners win money.

    2. No, the Survivor people don't get stipends like BB does but I think it's something like the final 9 on Survivor win money. A couple thousand more for each week you last.

  20. I'm loving your blog, because you always seem to have the funniest opinions on... Well... Everything.
    Does anyone know where the blogs for season 10 are archived? Or are they just deleted?

    1. Season 11 was my first season blogging here on Blogger.

    2. Ok, thanks. :) I was just wondering because of your references to that season.

  21. KateLand aka Eyebrows has to go this week! I simply can not watch her ass get any bigger. It started out so perfect!

  22. Hey DoucheNozzle your blog really sucks!