Thursday, July 23, 2009

A Day That Would Make Salvador Dali Jealous

Image via Dona Bogart (Thanks!)

The word surreal doesn't even begin to describe the day we had in the Big Brother house yesterday. What you thought was true ended up to be false. The unimaginable suddenly became the imaginable. Up was down. Down was up.

Let's not waste anymore time, shall we? Lots to discuss.

The day began innocently enough. Casey and Jeff were up early talking and working out. Nothing seemed amiss. Michele arose soon thereafter and after stabbing and eating her breakfast in the bathroom (this should have tipped me off) expressed her concern to Jeff saying that some people in the house may want to keep Ronnie. OK Nostradamus, what else do you have up your magic sleeve? Jeff immediately negated the idea and Michele promptly stole one of Ronnie's most favorite lines, "Actions speak louder than words." Jeff walked away, Michele muttered, "Fuck you Jeff" under her breath, and the tone of the day was set.

Michele and Jeff continued their odd little conversation in the backyard. Michele doesn't think she wants to throw the HOH competition now. She knows people have been talking about her and she doesn't think she can trust anyone. Jeff shrugs it off as paranoia and relays all information to Casey.

Casey, the white guy who thinks he's black, the master DJ spinner, has emerged as the ring leader in the Ronnie hate fest. He's the one who wants everyone to throw the HOH competition. He's made it his personal mission to get Ronnie out of the house and, the once formerly quiet and pensive man, has now become the house loudmouth on everyone's radar.

Not much went on for the next few hours... people waking up and greeting the day. It was here that I decided to hop on my treadmill. I don't know why, but something inside me told me to set my laptop up so I can continue to watch the house. There I am running and walking, walking and running, feeling pretty good about myself when all of a sudden I glance at my laptop. I see Russell running up the stairs to the HOH, frantically knocking on the door, begging to be let in. Needless to say I almost broke my ankle leaping off the treadmill so fast. I ran to the computer and here's what I saw:

And with that the entire face of the game has been altered. Only one (slightly nutty) live feeder had an inkling that something like this would happen. The incredibly astute and persistantly cynical Jediaces predicted something like this would go down. Everyone else, including myself, was COMPLETELY fooled. I've seen every season (even watch other BB's from around the world) and have analyzed and written about BB for 4 years now and I was completely snowed. Props to Russell (and Jedi). He consistently continues to surprise me and I NEVER know what he's up to. He could be the most exciting player I've ever seen. He definitely keeps things interesting.

Later in the day the HG's were given a catapult like contraption that may play a role in tonight's HOH. It was delivered to the backyard with instructions for them to practice. All HG's had to report to the BY for a lockdown and we all held out breaths wondering what would happen to Ronnie. He simply sat quietly, kept to himself, and didn't take part in the practicing (he can't play in HOH). As soon as he was able to, he ran back upstairs to read his bible. Personally, I think he's reading his bible because it's the only reading material available. I don't think he's overly religious at all. Very few people rooted in intelligencia are.

The HG's are practicing and Casey starts foaming at the mouth about Michele. I really wish he'd shut up. I liked him a lot more when he was simply an observer offering nothing more than funny witticisms. BB fever has taken over Casey and he's got game on his mind CONSTANTLY. The only problem is that he's very loud about it and he's drawing attention to himself. As a result, Russell, Ronnie, Natalie, Lydia, Kevin and Jessie want him gone. I predict a troublesome week ahead for him if he doesn't win HOH.

Jessie was inside discussing the catapult thing and the fact that Casey canNOT win HOH with Russ and Natalie. He thinks that they may have to launch the balls into baskets representing the HG's. Maybe when a ball lands in their basket, they are eliminated from HOH. Pretty insightful coming from Jessie if you ask me. I'm finding that I just don't have the hatred for Jessie that I had last season. He has a large alliance, he's not creating too many waves, and he's way more entertaining than someone like Michele. As far as game play goes, Jessie has really done nothing to upset me. I'd much rather someone like Chima be evicted before Jessie. Chima is hateful, whiny, loud, and a complete and total bitch. The day she's gone is a day of celebration.

The 2 nominees aren't campaigning, aren't mingling, aren't worried at all. Laura spends her days sleeping and dreaming about even bigger boobs and long lazy days of playing horseshoes (thanks Grimace). She's also probably hallucinating at this point due to malnutrition. The slop diet has turned Laura into the spitting image of a frail 90 year old woman with spindly legs and arms. Jordan, on the other hand, is puffy, poopy (she has constant diarrhea), and a little dirty. She's stopped washing her hair and has taken to dressing sloppy. Her stories make even less sense now (something I thought impossible) and are so embarrassing to the point that they're even making Jeff uncomfortable. I'm finding it very very hard to continue liking her. The dumb southern blonde thing used to be cute and endearing, but now it's becoming exhausting and sad. She's so dumb and she's so oblivious to what's going on around her that I almost feel pity for her. I think it was the baby talk thing that pushed me over the edge. Her accent gets thicker and she lays on the baby talk whenever she tells Jeff one of her inane childhood stories. And before anyone starts shouting "Hypocradar!" at me, I hate it when Lydia does it too. Women who talk baby talk should be collected and shipped off to a remote island in the South Pacific. They should be forced to build shelter, kill their food, and endure infinite insect and rat bites. That'll knock the baby talk right outta them.

This brings us to our second Russell/Ronnie encounter and to what is quite possibly the funniest clip of the week. Russell, anxious to keep Ronnie informed of the day's developments, risks a very dangerous visit to the HOH. At what was not the most opportune time of the day, Russell runs upstairs and hides in the HOH. He's scared shitless. EVERYONE is milling about the house. His eyes are glued to the spy screen as he makes some more plans with Ronnie. Ronnie informs him that Lydia and Kevin shot him looks of sympathy and understanding when he was sitting outside. Russell wonders who's after him, Laura or Casey, just as Casey himself enters the kitchen and appears to be looking for someone. Can it be? Can Casey be searching for Russell?

Casey's eyes dart here and there. He knows something stinks in Burbank but he can't quite figure out what it is. He starts going room to room quietly wondering to himself where Russell could be. He tries the storage room, the bathroom, and even the diary room. Meanwhile Russell is upstairs (WITH THE ENEMY!) frantically pounding spy screen buttons and realizing he's trapped. He has no way of getting downstairs unnoticed. People in the chats were screaming for Casey to go upstairs. I was screaming, "No no! Hell no!" This Ronnie/Russell alliance is the most exciting thing I've seen in any Week 2 of BB. Why would anyone want to put the kybosh on it now? Don't you guys want to see how this all plays out? I know I do.

Eventually, Ronnie decides to leave the HOH to get some food and create a distraction. They agree to talk again at 4 am. Russell gets his Jason Bourne on and crawls on his stomach out of the HOH. He's hiding not only from Casey but from everyone else in the house as well. It was hysterical! You have no idea how close Russell came to getting caught. In the end, he pretended that he was stalking Ronnie and ended up falling asleep on the upstairs couches. I think it's fooled Casey for the time being. You can tell he's getting paranoid and that he knows something isn't right, but he hasn't pinpointed exactly what it is yet.

Later Natalie and Lydia, having NO idea that Russell and Ronnie are really working together, agree that keeping Ronnie in the house is a good idea. They think that as long as Ronnie is in the house, they can keep the target off their back.

Chima, wild and psychotic, gets a whiff that something isn't right with the HOH tomorrow. She was under the impression that the Brains would throw it and that she'd be completely untouchable. Michele hints that she has no intention of throwing anything. In typical Chima fashion, she blows up and starts accusing everyone of trying to set her up. She wants to know why no one told her that they were no longer going to throw HOH. Casey intervenes suggesting that he's not the architect of any HOH plans (lie) and that they should all decide together what the plan will be for tonight's competition.

Everyone, save Ronnie, gathers at the dining room table and discusses how this week will be played. They all agree that the mission is to get Ronnie out (keep in mind that Russ, Jessie, Natalie, Lydia, and possibly Kevin are completely lying) and that the best way to do it is to backdoor him. Russell brings up the possibility that if people throw HOH and the POV turns out to be a competition for prizes or money (which HOH automatically plays in) that whoever threw the HOH would be pissed off at missing out on prizes. Russell doesn't want that on his hands. The last thing he wants is Chima bitching for a week over losing a chance to win some money. Jeff agrees that if a prize competition is in the near future that everyone should have a chance to play. Casey chimes in saying that everything changes in the house so quickly that you never know if a little fight will suddenly make you more hated than Ronnie. Throwing HOH could put someone, who's innocent this week, in jeopardy next week. It's a unanimous decision. The house agrees that NO ONE will throw HOH.

Duh. Get Mensa in here right now. That meeting was such a big ole bag of bullshit. You know without a shadow of a doubt that everyone was going to try for that HOH anyways. No one wants to be vulnerable. It's too risky in that nuthouse. They change their game plan just about every 3 hours in there. Anyone throwing that competition would have ended up taking it in the ass. The whole meeting was just for show.

Naturally, everyone went outside and immediately started catapulting balls all over the place. Michele is horrifyingly bad at it. Casey looks like he's training for the Olympics. Paranoia has officially set in.

Tonight is going to be exciting. You thought last weeks HOH was a big deal? You have NO idea how important tonight is. Personally, I want an Athlete to win it I think. That way Jeff, Russ, and Jessie are safe and Michele & Chima are not. I'm done with Michele and Chima. They are at the top of my shit list. This doesn't mean I want an Athlete to win the $500K, I just don't want them vulnerable this week. I need to see what happens with the Russell/Ronnie alliance. I really really really want to see how that plays out and how Ronnie's game changes as a result. I love all the secret alliance stuff and watching it blow up next week is going to be perfectly delicious. I like the drama and the intense strategizing. That's what gets me off when it comes to BB (not some guy from the midwest in his black boxer briefs). Right now only Russell and Ronnie are giving me that.
As far as tonight's eviction goes, I'm predicting Laura goes home with a vote of 7-2 . She's infinitely more threatening than pea brain Jordan and she made her bed with that idiotic tantrum she threw in the HOH. I've heard rumblings of some talk on Twitter this morning that some people in the house are now thinking of voting Jordan out, but I really don't think that will amount to anything. Jessie will get his girls in line and make sure Laura goes home.
I bid you adieu Seabiscuit. It's good you left when you did. I'm plum out of horse references. Had to borrow from the Canadia lad known as Grimace to make it through today. I never liked you but I wish you and your ridiculous breasts well. Now go. Trot off into the distance and stop whitening your teeth already.
A special hi there and hello to Ronnie's wife, Michelle, and sassysara.


  1. I so totally agree with you. Watching Russell crawl on that floor was a HOOT! I love this drama!! I find Jessie much more somber than last season, although I still don't like him much, but I do think he is playing a much better game. Russell reminds me some of Jessie last year, loud and arrogant, yet, he is making the game and house more interesting. At this point, I think Russell and Jessie are playing the best game, but my opinion may change in the future. At least Russell is making it interesting! That being said, I felt so sorry for Ronnie when Russell was heckling him. I HATE bullies and had a hard time watching that. I am sort of glad to find out it was all an act but, it was STILL painful to watch. I kind of wish that Ronnie had known about it being an act before it all happened. He looked so pitiful in that HOH room crying and alone. I'm sure he needed some meds to calm his anxiety down, that's why he slept most of the day.

    I enjoy your posts so much and the little clips. It helps me straighten things out in my head regarding this game. Thanks for doing this!

  2. Michelle TalbottJuly 23, 2009 at 2:28 PM

    Hi right back at you! I enjoy your blog. It's spot on! I especially love the Ronnie is the square root of all evil. You are very insightful and witty. ~Michelle

  3. I finally get to read your whole blog today. But I don't have time to catch up on ones I missed. Great blog! Loved the clip of Russ crawling on the floor. I'm glad we have different perspecitives on the game. You make me look at things differently. I still enjoying watching that handsome chitown man though. :)

  4. As usual, your blog is right now. I watch bb for the drama; not some idiot and a dude flirt with each other. I think its exciting that ronnie and russel made a deal. I can't wait for tonights HOH. Also, why is everyone so angry at Ronnie for playing the freakin game. They didn't go to make friends; they went to win money

  5. Lala, you always hit the mark, (missed your little background story today, maybe how Russel was secretly in special forces where he learned his belly crawl, but got kicked out cause his butt hit the wire and set off alarms), but loved it all. I think Casey is blowing his game big time. Too, bad. I thought he was playing great. Really looking forward to tonight. I dislike so many of them, not sure who I even want to win.. Charliesyaya