Hey HEY Heeeyyy!!!

What I'm about to do is the bravest thing anyone anywhere has ever done. I may not return from where I'm about to go or I may return slightly disshevelled and with a half a brain. I do not know. What I do know is that I do this for you, my lovely readers. Yes, I'm scared. Yes, I'm nauseous, but I feel like this must be done. If I don't make it back, I thank you all. I thank you for visiting everyday. I thank you for commenting. I thank you for donating. I thank you for yelling at me and telling me to get a life. Thank you. *takes a deep breath* Now, it's time. Ladies and gentlemen, I am about to step into the alcohol and red dye saturated mind of one Miss Rachel Reilly. *plugs nose and jumps in* Let's recap, shall we?

Hey HEY HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYY!!! OMG you guys! VEGAS won Her seCOND HOH!!! It's SO CRaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaZY!!! I didn't think I was gonna win Y'all, but I pulled thru and did it for me and my man. That BITCH Kristen kept coming after me and I was like, "Uh whatever! Step off on Vegas beeeyotch!" LULZ No one comes between me and my man! YAY for meeeee!!! I'm soOOO Vegas!!

THis HOH was SO diffrent for me. I decided to make it all about POWER MOVES and sex. YAY! Whenever I drink I looooooooooove to have sex. Brendooooon gets on top of me and for like 3 WHOLE minutes we make some beautiful love y'all. Afterwards he cries and its' like SO cute. He keeeeeeeeeps me SO happy. Sometimes he says things that like make me mad and when he does that i like just stare at him because I no that if i say something i'm gonna bite off his head. He's learnign tho. He nose that you CAN'T STOP VEGAS y'all!!! Wut wut! Ohmigod are there like posters of me up in Las vegas now? they'll be changing there slogan to "Whatever happens in Rachel STAYS in Rachel" HAHA!

imma gonna get rid of ALL the floaters. GRAB YOUR LIFEVESTS - I made that up NOT janelle - cuz I'm coming after y'all! That bitch Kristen with her perfect body and perfect skin makes me SOoo crazy inside. I neeeeed to get her out of this house because I waNT to BE the LAST girl. I voted Annie out. I got rid of Monet and I'm now I'm sending that bitch Kristen home. DId you no she came up to MY room and tried to talk to MY man? Who the HELL does she think she is? Like my man woudl EVER want to be with HER! She doesn't have the oozy red suckers that I have on my hoo ha. Thats how we roll in Vegas y'all.

This week was all about me being SO feisty & fierce. My booboo Brendon told me that's what I am. Did you no that my man Brendon can make the most beautiful macaroni art? He MADE one of me getting mad at that BITCH Kristen and it was like sSO amazing. I put it up in the bathroom so I can look at it all the time cuz that's like where I am for like 5 hours a day. Big brotha shoudl relly get me some gas-x up in this hizzy yall. it's not liek i'm on slop or anything. maybe its the olive oil my man brendon uses to cook with. He's SUCH a good cook. Just yesterday he made stuffed peppers filled with taco meat and i don't no why but no one wanted to eat them. Theyre just jealous that my man brendon is SO creative. Maybe one day he'll paint using his own tears. Ther's like enuff of them to paint a ceiling or something. YAY!

SO hayden & kristen tried to make a deal with me and my man but I dont TRUST that BITCH so she's like going home tonite and it like totally sucks she cant even play good enuff to get to the jury house. i dont no why Hayden lieks her. Shes not even a good strong player like me and my man. So anyways they tried to make a deal with me and my man cuz there butts were on the line and their was KNOW WAY i was gonna take it. Im KNOW dummy. I no that their was know way theyd put up there friends and backstab Enzo or Lane. i tolled Hayden to make a deal with Britney and like HE DID. YIKES its scary how easy he can be controlled. I'm SO glad my man brendon isn't like that. So like Britney didn't use the veto - YAY - so now that BITCH kirsten is like campaigning against Hayden and she really needs to reread the BB manual or soemthing cuz like she literally sucks. How can you even go against someone you like in this game? my man brendon LOVES me. he's NEVER go against me or try to get me out. OBVI!!!

(Image via onlinebigbrother.com)

Britney is like relly smart. She does everything i say and last night we took a bath together and it was SO awesome. We were talking about that BITCH kristen. We did mud masks and evrything! I didn't tell Britney they were made out of my poo. I had too much and I coudlnt' hide it in the toilets anymore so I had my man brendon whip up some poo, coffee, chocolate and mud and make me a mask. I dont' think he new we were gonna put the masks on our faces cuz as soon as he saw us he squealed. It was like SO cute. Just the other day he made a shirt out of tassles and pipe cleaners and it was like SO european. i'm sure europe is gonna call my man brendon and ask him to make shirts for them.

You no who else i relly don't like? Matt. I don't trust him. I tolled Britney that my man brendon is gonna put him on the block cuz he wouldn't make another deal with us and thats like shady. i thought he might be an alli for us but i'm pretty sure he's in an ALLIANCE with Ragan. I also don't like how Ragan wanted me to keep that bitch Kristen. You're either with me or against me. I just made that up yall. I'm SO vegas! I just no america is like "Go Vegas! We luv yOU!" LULZ I love you two you guys. It's like seriously literally SO hard in here. I'm like playing four you all and I can't wait to meat my fans HAHA.

This game is only gonna get harder and my man brendon and I r gonna like have to FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT. I really hope britney isn't like playing us like everyone else is in this game. Shes a good person to get infomation out of. she spies four us and tells us what those floaters lane and enzo are up to. i just really don't like floaters. If they don't swim their gonna like totally sink. i have the BEST one liners y'all! HAHA! I'm sure that like CBS is SO obsessed with me and my man Brendon.

(Image via onlinebigbrother.com)

Yesterday I got my HOH camera and RAgan was like SO funny. I tolled him to put my extensions on cuz I want everyone in this house to no what it feels like to be ME - AWESOME!!! So he put on my extensions and it was like hilarious. I don't know why he was laughing all crazy and talkign weird tho. I'm like so not like that. LULZ!! I took videos of him too but it used up all the memory in the camera and I couldn't take any more pitchers. Oh well... I really don't care. Everyone else in this house is like totally after me and my man brendon so i don't want their faces in MY camera anyways. Oh my GOD you no what i love too do? I LOVE making kissy faces at the camera! HAHA! I really do it cuz my lips are kinda like a deformed big bird but i squench them up they look like SO sexy. HAHA

So the plan for this weeks is for my man Brendon to win the HOH. I'm gonna cheer for him SO much today. I say things like "Go Brendoooooooon! YOu can do it!!!". I think he likes it. He better like it. Then when he wins we're gonna nominate Matt and maybe kathy or ragan. i don't know yet. I really don't like the floaters like ragan and kathy, but i REALLY don't trust matt. basically the only person that'll be safe is Britney and maybe Enzo. My man brendon is becoming really good firends with Enzo. they sit outside and brendon talks to him for like hours. enzo closes his eyes and put his hat over his head when he's talking to brendon. I think he totally does it to really concentrate on what brendon is saying.

Soooo that's like literally all that's going on. I'm totally playing this game SO hard and FIGHTING every minute of every day. i don't even have time to take a shower or wash my hair cuz I'm ALWAYS fighting. If I stop to clean myself up then like people could start beating us or something. I think my poo mud mask and strategy baths with Britney are enuff to keep me fresh. Brendon doesn't care. He LOVES me. I totally know we're the next Jeff & Jordan. WuT! Wut! See ya'll on the Amazing Race!!! And I have to thank my family like SO much for sending me all the letters I wrote to myself before I left for Big Brother. I no i'm making you proud by having drunk sex with my BOYFRIEND every night. I'm SO blessed to be here and I really APPRICIATE your support - even my haters. HAHA!

So who do you guys think will win HOH tonight? Will you watch if Brendon wins? Do I have to watch if Brendon wins? Will you cry with me when Kristen leaves tonight? Will Strunk & White ever forgive me for what I've just done? Comment it out bitches and have a great day!