Friday, July 4, 2014

Happy 4th Of July!

Happy 4th of July, bitches! This being a National holiday, I will be taking a personal day and doing what all of you good people will be doing, eating noodle salad and sticking sparklers in places they don't belong. BUT I don't want to leave you hanging after last night's double HOH comp so here's a brief summary of what you need to know.

Amber and Diva (Devin) have both won HOH and were left very little time to come up with their nominations. After much hemming and hawing and whining and being generally awful on Amber's part (I'm sorry, but I can't stand her. She's SO bloody whiny. It does my head in.), this is what happened: Diva has nominated Payola (Paola) and Brittany while Amber has nominated Hayden and Nicole. The plan was supposed to be to backdoor Diva, but Amber is awful and a total wimp.

Pre-nomination consisted of Diva telling Amber over and over again, "I'm not going to force your hand, BUT YOU BETTER NOT NOMINATE ANY OF THE BOMB SQUAD." We also heard, "I don't want to tell you what to do, but you have to nominate a guy."Amber's HOH was basically Diva's HOH. While it is obvious that Amber sucks as a player, I think I'm OK with the idea that Diva could stay in the house this week. Long time readers know that when it comes to Big Brother, I only care about one thing and that thing is - TO BE ENTERTAINED. Like Mena Suvari said in American Beauty, "There is nothing worse in life than being ordinary... or having life-sucking mind numbingly boring Big Brother feeds." If Diva needs to stick around in order to keep the feeds interesting, then so be it.

To sum up, if Hayden and Nicole win the Battle of the Block (which is taking place as I type this), then Diva remains HOH and Brittany and Payola stay on the block. Conversely, if Brittany and Payola win the Battle of the Block, then Diva will lose his HOH and could end up getting backdoored. Let's be real though, the chances of Payola winning anything are about as good as...

And I have a live update! Hayden and Nicole have won the Battle of the Block which means that we get an ENTIRE week of Diva as the HOH. Let's all thank Amber - either with sincerity or disdain. Thank you Amber. Thank you.

So there you go. You are now up to date. What do you think about Amber blowing her HOH? Are you up for an exciting new drinking game? We drink every time we hear the word "daughter". Comment it out bitches and have a great 4th of July! Don't drink and drive. Don't wrap your hand around a firecracker. And if you absolutely must stick a sparkler up your bum, take a picture for all of us to see. Have a good one, bitches!

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  1. My liver couldn't handle a drink every time Diva says "daughter". It is on the edge of the cliff already. I agree, entertainment is key and that is why I hated to see Joey go. Instead we get Nicole, Derrick, Brittany and Amber to float through the house. Hey, thanks for this Bitch! You enjoy your 4th and your noodle salad! Anyone have Joey on Twitter? Would love to follow her and see what she has to say about the house guests.

  2. Thanks for taking the time to update, BBAD always stops just when it gets interesting! This happens every season, the person everyone wants GONE just won't go! There's not enough chardonnay or vodka in my house to get me thru "the daughter" drinking game! Diva is driving me nuts repeating the same thing over and over and over, he's like a combo of Brendon and O.J. CREPPY! At least Caleb the pig slayer has let up a little on the Amber monologue he and Diva are so delusional. Can't wait to see what Donny doe's as America's player, that went so well the1st. time! Have a great 4th. and be careful with those sparklers!!

  3. The problem with Diva being around another week is we have to listen to the goofy bastard. I'd rather chew tin foil. Bratt's the only gal with any balls, Icktoria, Poo Poo or Lunesta need to go next.

    Some one needs to explain to Flunkie that Gay guys get a free pass to like final 8, unless they're annoying stereotypes like Wil BB14.

  4. We put off our party until tomorrow with the unpredictable weather. We intend to eat, drink and be very merry with guests sleeping over so they don't drink and drive. I remember years ago we had Fourth of July parties with an ice block to do shots - ah, good times.

  5. Our game is that whenever "Team America" is mentioned, we have to scream 'FUCK YEAH!". Last person to scream it, drinks.