Thursday, June 18, 2015

Austin: A Lute And A Goblet

Next up is former pro wrestler Austin Matelson from Woodland Hills, CA. Austin is a hulking mammoth of a man with a wild mane of hair and a secret identity he calls "Judas."

Please to enjoy:

(Video Courtesy of Big Brother Network)

Immediately we see that Mr. Judas is charismatic, confident, and an articulate kind of a guy. There are lots of layers lurking beneath those locks and I look forward to discovering each and every one. He has a Masters Degree in Medieval Romance Literature and sometimes likes to lead a troupe in a little "Rah rah rah" when the fancy strikes. I'm just going to come out and say it... I LOVE HIM.

While this is an image you could have tucked in the back of your mind when thinking about Austin, I would venture to say that this one works as well...

(Meeting On Turret Stairs by Frederick William Burton)

Throw in a couple lutes and a goblet of gin and you got me, Austin. 

While Austin is indeed a formidable presence, he is very well aware that this is also his biggest obstacle. All any HG needs to do is take one look at this guy to know that he is going to be a competition problem. Austin is prepared for such a reaction and so he will tell everyone he's got all sorts of multisyllabic maladies. Will it work? Probably not. Do we want it to work? Hell YES! In his own words, "I'm a medieval historian. I believe in true love." So do we, Austin. So. Do. We. 

This guy is my One To Watch. I find him charming and eloquent. He works "Arthurian" into sentences with the ease of a knight pulling a sword out of a stone. The dude's even got a princess in a castle, for crying out loud! What is not to love about this guy?! 

Waterhouse, Ophelia, The Lady Of Shalott. Shit, I've got some studying to do.

Have you signed up for your Live Feeds yet? Let me just remind you... Austin - in the shower. Go sign up!


  1. This guy is my favorite so far. My dream team is a six person alliance of Austin, Audrey, DaVonne, Vanessa, Judas and Dexter. Austin lures the Dixie Cups in to the parlor with some glut work and spiced mead, Vanessa and DaVonne work them over KGB style for secrets followed by brain washing, Audrey black widow wraps the unsuspecting with bikini straps and sends them off to Julie. Too much?

  2. I agree. The headshot does not do him justice. Looking forward to his shower scenes.

  3. I really really want to like him.... but a top hat??? COME ON

  4. He can wear whatever head gear he wants. That's how lumbersexual should be done. Hawt.