Monday, June 22, 2015

Shelli: Eggshell Colored Blah

Next up is 33 year old Interior Decorator Shelli Poole from Atlanta, GA.

Please to enjoy:

(Video Courtesy of Big Brother Network)

It is a little known fact that when God created the universe, he yawned at one point and out came tumbling Clay and Shelli. When asked a question, any question, by the interviewer, Shelli stares off into space. She's not searching her head for intelligent life inside. She's just staring. At an eggshell colored wall - funnily enough the same color as her personality. Time ceases to exist until she next has to inhale. Then we get, "Oh wow. I'm kind of having a blank moment." KIND OF?!

When the interviewer is then forced to borrow some dental pliers from the stash found in the lining of John's Jockey shorts, Shelli confesses that she grew up happy, with a lovely family, and no tragedies scarred her for life or made her, you know, think or experience an existential crisis. She's an uncomplicated girl with seemingly charming upbringing. Good for her. Unfortunately it makes her as exciting as a pebble. A pebble you kick off into the brush.

Get those feeds, you freaks!

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