Sunday, June 21, 2015

Jason: Step, Ball Change


This is Jason Roy and he is wearing skinny jeans. Jason is a 25 year old Supermarket Cashier from Massachusetts.

Please to enjoy:

(Video Courtesy of Big Brother Network)

Life, this bounteous dish placed upon us, is a wondrous universe of smiles for Jason. You want to buy some yogurt, Q-tips, and lollipops. Well, come right this way! Lane 1 is open and life is a cabaret, old chum. So come to the cabaret. Young man, I forgot something. Which aisle carries the condiments? Aisle 3 to your right. While you scurry your frazzled self, purse hanging off your shoulder, worried you'll anger the shoppers in line behind you, Jason hums happily to himself. You have to understand the way I am, mein herr. Out of breath, but relieved, you return with a smile. Here we go. Sorry about that. *swipe, beep, swipe, beep* Jason glances down at the vinegar you've added to your bounty. You'll never turn the vinegar to jam, mein herr. Then he climbs atop the conveyer belt... step, ball change, step, ball change. So I do what I do. When I'm through, then I'm through. And I'm through. Tootle-oo! 


So yeah, Jason bags and checks groceries. Will he meet his Tad Hamilton? That I do not know. Will he win Big Brother? Perhaps. A self-described "people pleaser" Jason has worked in customer service for years. He knows how to be friendly and score high on customer satisfaction surveys. After all, money makes the world go around... on no, here he goes again, tap dancing with a roll of receipt paper... The world go around! The world go around! Money makes the world go around. It makes the world go 'round. A mark, a yen, a buck or a pound. A buck or a pound. A buck or a pound. 

Either I shall love and embrace Jason or he is going to drive me batshit crazy. Only time will tell.

Big Brother starts this week! Get those feeds!


2 comments:

  1. I love him and his accent. #teamJason!

    ReplyDelete
  2. A real life Pee-Wee Herman

    ReplyDelete