The Great Beaner Debate

Late last night I received an email from a dear friend. Here's what she said, "found out my cuz is a fan of BB. he went to your blog. said the name of your blog was an understatement. ha!". Unicorns and rainbows shot across the sky when I read that. And here I thought I was being too nice. Let the daily massacre begin!

Another lazy day in California began with nothing too remarkable to report. The HG's wiped the sleep from their eyes, stretched their tired limbs, and were ready to attack the day with their characteristic aplomb. The day's conversations quickly turned to Lydia and what a hypocritical hose beast she's being. Russell noted that ever since he took Lydia off the block she never talks to him anymore, never rubs his rippling deltoids, never hints at showers promising blow jobs. Braden joined in the Lydia gossip saying that everyone in the house needs to get her out sooner rather than later. He said, "she'll cut your heads off while you're sleeping." And with that the tone of the day was set.

Lydia has totally changed since she's been taken off the block. She's confident, bitchy, and a little too arrogant for her own good. She's turned on everyone who's tried to help her out and has aligned herself with the Athletes. Yet I'm still remaining middle of the road on Lydia for the time being. I have a theory that if she was never nominated this first week that she'd still be everyone's favorite and never would have turned into the Sybil she became. I'm giving her one more week before I let her have a piece of my mind. That's all you're getting Lydia. Rarely do I give second chances so use this week wisely.

Some of the HG's have been noticing that some of their clothing has gone missing. Does this have something to do with a future comp? I think so.

So it's hot and sunny and some of the HG's are lounging outside. Braden has an inkling he's up shit's creek so he's determined not to leave the house without sinking whoever stood in his way and retelling over and over again his less than impressive resume. He's taken to rattling off his accomplishments, as well as his sexual conquests, repeatedly to anyone who'll give him the time of day. Boy wants to be a star. That's what he came in for. Well, Braden you got your wish!

What happened next still puzzles me. Braden, Lydia and Kevin were sitting in the BY and Braden was telling Lydia what a hypocrite she's been and that she probably wouldn't have gone home had she stayed on the block. Now she's done for. She's sunk her own battleship and she's going to have one hell of a fight staying in this game from here on out. So far, Braden is right on the money... well, until he brought Kevin into it. Braden told Lydia to get another tattoo on her ass and then told Kevin to get one on his cock. That's all she wrote. Fit hit the shan.

Please to enjoy:





Braden, Braden, Braden... you ignorant fuck. For those of you not in the know, yours truly just happens to be a beaner herself. My mother is 100% Mexican, I was raised in Cali, my grandmother hardly spoke English and called me mija. Don't let the blonde hair and green eyes fool you. I identify as Mexican. I always have. As a Mexican, only my mother (or other relatives) can EVER call me a beaner (she used to call my brother and I "little beaners" when we'd love to eat my grandmother's Albondigas Soup). The beaner rule is the same as the N-word or F-word rule. You don't say it unless you are one.

Braden assuming Kevin is a Mexican is beyond ignorant. Just because he's brown and in California he's Mexican? How fucking moronic can you be? Judging people on the color of their skin or ethnicity is just wrong. When Braden said, "What are you? You're just a Mexican from San Diego." he meant that as an out and out racial insult. It astonishes me that some people in the chat rooms said, "Oh, he just said it out of anger." If I ever said to someone, "Oh your just a colored fella from Mississippi" I would be labeled a racist and rightly so! What is this, 1960? The fact that that's the first insult Braden could come up is a glaring insight into his character. He's obviously had those thoughts before. Don't fool yourselves into thinking this was a one time thing with him.

Oh and Braden saying, "I'm fucking white and American!" Seriously?!? Seriously, did he just say that? Someone get the KKK on the horn because I've got a bang up new member for them. Braden you are a racist idiotic piece of shit and I hope you will forever have to be looking over your shoulder in fear. You better pray a Mexican angrier than me didn't see your little performance yesterday. Amber got crucified in the press over her antisemitic remarks and I'm thrilled I was able to get your tasteless remarks highlighted on dlisted yesterday. (http://dlisted.com/node/32931)

After that outburst most of the house distanced themselves from Braden. Kevin and Lydia went a step further telling Jordan that if she ever talked to Braden or Jeff again that they'd never talk to her. While Kevin and Lydia have a point, they have no right to tell Jordan who she can or can't talk to. Jeff called Braden's remarks highly inappropriate and I genuinely believe that Jeff was mildly horrified by the things Braden's said. Jordan didn't witness the fight in the backyard so she'll need to make up her own mind as to whether she wants to associate with Braden from here on out.

When Kevin and Lydia were confronting Jordan, Jordan fought back. She screamed to Lydia that she's never done anything to her to warrant being attacked or talked about (and she's right). Kevin interjected calling Jordan "too sweet" and saying the game will eat her alive. I'm sorry Kevin, but since when did being sweet become an evil attribute? I'm really on the fence with Kevin here. Who the hell does he think he is criticizing someone for being too nice? It's laughably ridiculous. He's obviously threatened by her or else he wouldn't give two shits what Jordan does. Kevin, like Lydia, you are also on 1 week's probation with me. Straighten up or you're toast.

Witness all the mayhem for yourself:

So much drama. Ugly drama too. Thankfully, Michele in her canary yellow hooker dress was there to brighten my spirits. This off the shoulder ruffled number is Michele's favorite ensemble. She remembers the day she bought it. It was 1996, her first year of college and her first time away from home. Michele and her roommate Debbie had gone shopping at the Salvation Army one day. Debbie was a unique girl... shaved head, combat boots, and a pierced eyebrow. Debbie had told Michele that she was a lesbian and Michele smiled thinking "lesbian" was akin to being "diabetic". She assumed Debbie would just give herself a few shots everyday and her lesbian condition would be kept under control. Little did Michele know...

It was a sweaty day in early September. Michele was still trying to fit in and Debbie made it her personal mission to help Michele out. They scoured the racks at the Salvation Army for hours finding only a striped purple tube top with the bottom all stretched out and a vintage army jacket with sweat stains under the pits. The girls were getting tired and were ready to throw in the towel until Michele spotted it... just a tiny glimpse of bright yellow peeking out from under a ripped feathered silk robe. Michele held the dress up to the light on it's simple wire hanger, the sun already beginning to set outside shot magnificent rays of red and pink illuminating the yellow dress like it was the second coming of Christ.

Debbie gazed upon it's magnificence. The girls looks at one another and smiled. No words needed to be said. They had found what they were looking for...

To be continued...

Image via Hamsterwatch

Butter Face Braden Beachcombing In Bonsai With Bubkis

Good morning BB fans!

First things first, let's talk about that CBS show last night. WOW. Lots of interesting tidbits I never would have gathered from the feeds. How cool was that "Have/Have-Not" comp? Very original CBS. Every season the comps get better and better so well done.

What a brat Chima was! She didn't exactly throw a fit as previously reported. Instead she just pouted and TOLD EVERYONE she's used to a lifestyle of luxury. Uh bitch, you don't go announcing to the whole house in the middle of a competition for a cash prize that you live the charmed life and won't put up with anything less than stellar. I hate you and your shiny face. Does all that clown work really pay that well? I mean, you must save money on wigs and prosthetic noses right?

Chima went up as a pawn? Who uses a pawn in the first nomination? Had Chima really done something heinous, keeping her in the house would have been a red flag that she was in an alliance with the Athletes. I'm annoyed Natalie even suggested the whole "pawn technique" in the first place. So unnecessary. I can't blame Ronnie for refusing to be the pawn either. Nobody is that stupid (well maybe Chima).

So Jessie has been lying by blaming Jeff for Lydia's nomination. Sneaky Man Beast. He fooled me. It looks like I have Russell to blame for the nomination (Lydia) that's changed the entire course of the game.

Sad sad horsey Laura. You know I actually think she really did find Jessie hot. I don't think she was lying about that at all. Laura's issue is an interesting one and it's one I saw coming a mile away. For those of you who read my blog commenting on her pre-show interview you'll remember how I pointed out that ugly girls who think they're hot are the worst. "You have to keep pushing them down with the palm of your hand because they're tenacious little monkeys." When she was sitting on the couch asking the group who the hottest guy was I totally thought she was setting herself up to get a compliment by asking the follow up question of who the hottest girl was. Didn't you guys think that? I figured she nixed the hot girl question idea because Jessie seemed nonplussed by the hot guy compliment.

Anyhow, Laura's problem is that she's realized she's not the hot girl at all (clearly Jordan is) and now she has no idea how to play the game. She was counting on her looks to be an important factor in her game play. Turns out, no one is impressed. What's a horsey big boobed girl to do? Sit around and be boring all day. That's what.

Jordan is by far the beauty of the house but she's also the house idiot. Yesterday she thought egg whites were the hard outer shell of an egg. LOL Deep down I don't think she's that moronic. I think she's probably played the dumb blonde in that hillbilly town of hers her entire life. It's become natural for her to act ditzy. It's gotten her far. It's gotten her those new bubbies of hers. I can picture her in her waitress uniform (similar to Sookie's in True Blood) in that truck stop restaurant she works in. Her legs long and tan, giant blue eyes, and new bubbies straining against the thin cotton of her t-shirt. The men, the regulars, probably smack her on her ass as she walks by. Her only response is to giggle. Giggling is what she does best. The sweaty fivers she gets for tips she keeps under her bed in a shoe box. She was saving up for a trip to Californ-I-A, but fate stepped in and flew her there for free. Now, she dreams, now she'll go to New York when she's done with Big Brother. She'll stand in Time Square, mouth open wide marvelling at all the tall buildings. A homeless person will ask her for a dollar. She'll give him a fiver. She knows what it's like to have to struggle...

(more on Jordan's adventures as the season progresses)

OK so yesterday was the big veto ceremony. Did Russell take down the nomination he tried so hard to make happen in the first place? You bet he did. Lydia is off the block, ladies and gentlemen. Butter Face Braden went up in her place. Early estimations don't look good for the poet surfer. It's looking like a 6-4 vote for Braden to leave. Lydia has crossed over to the dark side now and Kevin, that asshole, gave Chima his "word" that he wouldn't vote her out. Blog regulars know how I feel about people giving their "words". I hate it! Keesha's "word" kept Libra in the game all the way to the Jury House last season. I think promises have no place in BB. They only cause problems.

Apparently, the veto ceremony is a funny one. Braden said, "I got vetoed." or something and all the HG's cracked up.

So Braden is on the block and how did he react? He's goin' surfing bitches. That's how he reacted. He assumes he's leaving and, since he's given up his apartment, he has big plans to go to Australia and surf his troubles away. He's got a $1000 in his bank account, a bohemian heart, and Bonsai Beach in his sights. Wait a tic... hold up! $1000? 3/4 of that will be spent on airfare (a super cheap flight transporting livestock and kool-aid). Braden says he'll stay in hostels once in Oz. Correct me if I wrong, but I'm a bit of a seasoned traveller and you can't stay in hostels if you're over 26. Butter Face is 28. Alright so Braden's plan isn't perfect. The best laid plans rarely are.

As mentioned earlier, Lydia has officially crossed over to the dark side and I don't care for it one bit. She's all up in Jessie's junk now telling him whatever he wants to hear. She's now taken to badmouthing Braden. She doesn't like it that Braden calls her "Lyds". Only her mom can call her "Lyds". Braden doesn't know that! Just tell him you don't like that nickname and move on. My niece called me "PeePee" for a while so I locked her in the basement until she stopped. Problem solved. Lydia also claims that Braden tried to kiss her. Braden didn't try to kiss her in a romantic way. I think it was just a friendly surfer thing. Lydia is hating people based on the silliest nonsensical reasons. She should try hating them for their physical attributes like me. ;)

Not much else happened that's worth reporting. Braden made a soft pitch to Ronnie and Michele to stay in the game, but they just laughed at him as soon as he left their room. I'm warning you now: It may be boring until Thursday UNLESS Braden finds his balls and puts up a fight.

A word on Michele. I don't have a problem with her per se, but I do have a problem with her 99 cent hooker outfits she's been wearing every night. Every single night she puts on a hideous ill-fitting polyester get up of some kind and her plastic black hooker heels. She looks like she's ready to star in one of those Hookers At The Point documentaries they're always showing on HBO. I think it started because she wanted to dress up one night. The boys obviously lied when they complimented her on her outfit, but she took it as truth so now she's wearing a new hooker outfit every night. Maybe her husband forces her to wear sweats all the time. Late at night when he's asleep (passed out on Boone's Farm) she sneaks into her bathroom, pulls her hooker clothes out of the hiding spot above one of the squares in her ceiling, and poses in the mirror while painting her face with a paint-by-numbers set her husband got her one christmas. She has a fantasy of one night mustering up the courage to crawl out of her window and hitching down to the local honkey tonk. She wonders what it would be like to bump uglies with a man named Harlan...

No clips today... I think the youtube clips are preventing my posts from showing up at the Big Brother Network so I'm running a little experiment today.

A quick shout out to chazhu. Thanks for your kind words yesterday. It was good to see you in the chats.

Butter Face Braden Interview

Douche bag says what? Oh dear god this guy is brimming with cliches and he's gonna "rock the show and blow it up! Bring it on and keep it real!". *stabs myself in ear* Braden also says that, "Women are the root of all evil." Uh yeah, because I think you like dick dude. If you're gay, embrace it! Actually, I think he's a switch hitter. By the way, the most wonderful people on the planet play on both teams. ;)

The interviewer (Diane from season 2) asks him point blank if he's done porn and he says, "No, no porn." He respects his family too much to do porn (but obviously not enough to show his wang on a popular gay drama). Whatever brah. Own it! Obviously, Diane knows that Braden has dropped trou on tv. You can hear it in her voice. Why she didn't press him on it is beyond me.

Seriously, how much does Diane want Braden's ass already?



Ugh. I hate him. He was much more interesting when I hadn't heard him speak.

More interviews on the way!

Braden - The Male Butter Face

Alright so it's late... I've had a little wine... I'm making new friends on Twitter, watching Michael Jackson on 20/20, and acknowledging my newfound respect for Johnny Cash on blip... innocent, right? Yeah, until I found this latest creepfest. CBS2.com just released the full length interviews of the new HG's. I'm divulging right now that I have NOT watched them. Let me edit that statement. I've watched 15 seconds of one of them and immediately logged in here to write this post.

I click on Braden's video thinking to myself, "No chance he talks about his foray into the soft core porn world. He'll talk about his love for surfing and that'll be that." Shit. I didn't even get that far. Boy said "Hi" and I ran here.

Have any of you ever heard of the term "Butter Face". It's typically used by frat boys who call each other "brah" and wear Co-Ed Naked Lacrosse shirts. Let me use it in a sentence, " She's a butter face." Translated for those not in the know, this means, "Everything about her is hot, but her face." Gentlemenly, right?

Well, men, back at you I say... back at you! I call foul when I see Braden's video. Boy is a butter face. No other way to say it.

I literally clicked on his video and said to myself, "What the hell happened to his face? I thought he was good looking!". He's not my type or anything (I like 'em dark, tattooed, and in black leather pants), but he was kind of cute in his photos in a surfer kind of way. He was a bit of a sexy little bitch on that most beautiful men webpage. How did he get so bleh? How do you do that Braden? How do you look cute one day and gnarly the next? I'm reminded of that Seinfeld episode where Jerry dated the girl who only looked good in certain light. He had to take her to a strategically placed booth in Monk's where the light would hit her face just right. Otherwise, she was a freak show.

The website isn't letting me post the video directly here, but click on it yourself and tell me if I'm crazy or not. The videos are on the right hand side of the page. Braden's is first. http://cbs2.com/bigbrother

I'll watch the videos and make some comments I'm sure, but tonight... tonight I'll dream of the magical Jeckyl & Hyde that is Braden Bracha.

Braden Bracha - BB11's Sexually Ambiguous Stud

I love a scandal on the (unofficial) first day of Big Brother season. In the past it took weeks for James' "pooping on the beach" and gay porn videos to surface. Same goes for Josh's cocaine photo. Not this year my dears. Braden has set new records.

Braden Bracha is the 28 year old sensitive poet surfer - Dare I say a younger McConaughey with some Laird Hamilton thrown in? - who likes to collect shells and play chess. I'm not making this shit up. Check out his Most Beautiful Man profile: http://www.mostbeautifulman.com/misc/BradenBacha/bio.shtml. Anyhow this blonde whale saving environmentalist also has some acting credits under his belt to boot. I've seen the Dante's Cove clip (Hey there big boy!) and now I'm reading he was on something called The Brotherhood II: Young Warlocks. According to Imdb.com, he played Chandler Academy Student #1 in this low budget male version of The Craft. Upon further research, he was not a regular on Dante's Cove. Alas he only appeared in the episode entitled "The Solstice" (hmmm I'm sensing a witchy trend in young Brandon's resume). Clearly, Dante's Cove is a gay tv show (a lesser known Queer As Folk if you will) but is hunky Braden a full fledged Streisand listening gay?

Like James in BB9 (who'll do anything for a buck), I don't think he is. He's not identified as homosexual as far as CBS is concerned and we all know CBS loves it's labels. I think he's a Hal Sparks gay for pay kind of guy (which I love! Straight actors who have no problem playing gay have a special place in my heart.) Did Hal ever show full frontal on Queer As Folk? I can't remember. It doesn't matter if Braden's gay or not folks. All that matters is that he's already got the girls and guys out there in a tizzy. He's somewhat in the industry (clearly he thinks BB will seque into something else) and I wouldn't doubt that he was recruited for the show. Allison Grodner was right. Braden is definitely this years "eye candy".

Since CBS' announcement that the HG's will be divided into cliques, I think it's safe to say that Braden will be in the "popular crowd". No doubt the girlies will be hot for him. My fantasy would be a cat fight for Braden's heart only to have Braden send the gals to the curb and run into the arms of Kevin (this year's gay). Big Brother needs some hot homo loving (no, Natalie and Chelsia's dance does not count) and I'd really like this year to be the year it happens.

Personally, Braden does nothing for me. Men who are that pretty are usually useless lumps of muscle in the sack. I've got my eye on Lydia. I'll ignore the fact that she has a Harry Potter tattoo and I'll keep my fingers crossed that she's sassy, hot for at least one of the girls (who will hopefully be bicurious), and blessed with a quick wit.

You can find the link to Braden's third leg reveal here: http://bitchybigbrother.blogspot.com/2009/07/naked-houseguest-already.html