Friday, July 3, 2009

Braden - The Male Butter Face

Alright so it's late... I've had a little wine... I'm making new friends on Twitter, watching Michael Jackson on 20/20, and acknowledging my newfound respect for Johnny Cash on blip... innocent, right? Yeah, until I found this latest creepfest. just released the full length interviews of the new HG's. I'm divulging right now that I have NOT watched them. Let me edit that statement. I've watched 15 seconds of one of them and immediately logged in here to write this post.

I click on Braden's video thinking to myself, "No chance he talks about his foray into the soft core porn world. He'll talk about his love for surfing and that'll be that." Shit. I didn't even get that far. Boy said "Hi" and I ran here.

Have any of you ever heard of the term "Butter Face". It's typically used by frat boys who call each other "brah" and wear Co-Ed Naked Lacrosse shirts. Let me use it in a sentence, " She's a butter face." Translated for those not in the know, this means, "Everything about her is hot, but her face." Gentlemenly, right?

Well, men, back at you I say... back at you! I call foul when I see Braden's video. Boy is a butter face. No other way to say it.

I literally clicked on his video and said to myself, "What the hell happened to his face? I thought he was good looking!". He's not my type or anything (I like 'em dark, tattooed, and in black leather pants), but he was kind of cute in his photos in a surfer kind of way. He was a bit of a sexy little bitch on that most beautiful men webpage. How did he get so bleh? How do you do that Braden? How do you look cute one day and gnarly the next? I'm reminded of that Seinfeld episode where Jerry dated the girl who only looked good in certain light. He had to take her to a strategically placed booth in Monk's where the light would hit her face just right. Otherwise, she was a freak show.

The website isn't letting me post the video directly here, but click on it yourself and tell me if I'm crazy or not. The videos are on the right hand side of the page. Braden's is first.

I'll watch the videos and make some comments I'm sure, but tonight... tonight I'll dream of the magical Jeckyl & Hyde that is Braden Bracha.


  1. I realize this blog was actually about Braden but I am gonna start with Russell and I'm sure I will have several other comments. I went to watch the videos and Russell was the first one. He has a horrible annoying laugh. I can already see that it's gonna annoy the crap out of me. But I think I already knew he would annoy me.

  2. he is a butter head fo sho sistah