Thursday, September 10, 2009

Cuddling Is Not Strategy

A new day. A new petition. A new conspiracy theory. A new project for bored housewives everywhere. The new bruhaha now is over whether or not Kevin and Ragamuffin cheated in the HOH competition. I have 5 words in response to this: Give me a fucking break.

Allow me to elaborate...

A) The idea that BB is somehow manipulating the game for Kevin or Ragamuffin to win is ludicrous. We've seen all along how BB has been suggesting, coercing, violently nudging HG's this season to keep Jeff, Jordan, or Michele in the game whenever possible. Whoever came up with the theory that BB favors Ragamuffin needs to borrow my hot poker. I want you to warm it up nice and toasty in your fireplace. Make sure the iron end is glowing bright red. When you've achieved that, stand up straight and violently stab the hot poker directly into your cornea. Remove the hot poker and then ferociously jab it directly into your navel. Remove it again and then forcefully jam it into your ear. After that, you're done and your debt to society has been paid.

B) Apparently Ragamuffin was gripping the rope and not the key itself. I've seen the photos. I think it's nitpicking. If it was Jeff in that same position, no one would have said a word. If anything, Ragamuffin was at a disadvantage being so much shorter than everyone else. Her key was not as low to her as it was to the others. And who the fuck cares anyways? Ragamuffin lost you fuckwits.

C) Kevin was looking sideways. Yes, this is actually a complaint. Kevin can look wherever the fuck he wants to look. He chose to concentrate on a focal point. Jordan and Ragamuffin were free to do the exact same thing. The only stipulation was that their backs could not face the pool. We even heard the 3 HG's discussing this fact early in the game.

In conclusion, Jeff is gone... GET OVER IT! I mean, let's get real... that's what all of this is really about. Jeff is out of the game and the bored menopausal housewives now need a new reason to maintain interest in BB11.

Moving on... so we didn't get Part 2 of the HOH yesterday. Part 2 will be happening on tonight's show. Rumor has it that all 3 HG's will be able to stay in the house until the finale. If this is true, is it possible the change was made to shut the Jordan fans up once and for all? Is this being done to give the DR enough time to convince the final HOH to take Jordan to the Final 2? Will the question/answer portion be live as opposed to taped? I don't know what the hell is going on. AG herself won't comment on the last minute changes. All she'll say is "Tune in Thursday."

Speaking of Part 2, the HG's received a contraption to practice on. Huh? Part 2 is supposed to be a mental challenge. Why is BB making it a game of chance all of a sudden? Ragamuffin was pissed off about it and now thinks that BB doesn't want her to win (do you hear that you "BB is favoring Natalie" conspiracy fuckers?) The object of the game is to get the balls in the holes without touching the sides. That's stupid. Part 2 should be difficult and test the HG's skill (whether it be physical or mental). Shooting a ball into a hole is a week 1 challenge. It's not worthy of holding the weight and significance of a Final HOH challenge. The Final HOH should test the HG's determination and attention to detail. Practicing on a cheesy ramp thing for one night is hardly worthy of, what could possibly be, a $500,000 challenge. Perhaps the HG's have to answer questions first and then get to shoot the ball as many times as questions they've correctly answered. I'm not sure, but I'm really turned off at Part 2 being partly based on luck. At this stage of the game, the luck challenges should be long gone.

Earlier in the day Kevin and Ragamuffin were wondering what Part 2 could be (this was before the lame ass ramp/ball game arrived). Ragamuffin wondered if it was a puzzle since there hasn't been a puzzle challenge yet. She's absolutely right. Usually, there is a challenging brain teasing type of competition designed to test the HG's memory as well as intellectual prowess. OK here's where I'm going to offer my own fucking theory. We all know Jordan isn't good at puzzles. She said so herself. Was Part 2 originally a puzzle but changed at the last minute so Jordan now has a chance to win? If Part 2 isn't something intellectual I'll be annoyed. Not annoyed enough to write CBS, but I'll be annoyed nonetheless. BB can do whatever they want as far as the challenges go. There are no hard and fast rules set in stone and they have the right to make changes to the format. I'm a rational educated human being and I can accept this fact. While it will bother me if they're favoring Jordan, I'm not going to start some ridiculous petition, fill up CBS's voicemail, or cancel my feeds in outrage. I still love this show and am a die hard fan to the end.

I love this show so much that I was ecstatic to hear that CBS has just ordered another season of Big Brother. BB12 has been green lit and we'll be able to waste another summer glued to our computer screens. This is great news and very exciting. I'm a slave to this show. I openly admit it. 12-14 new HG's next summer to make fun of... Mr. O'Shaugnessy, my opium please!

Nothing much went on in the house yesterday. Lots of reminiscing and eating. Ragamuffin kept bugging Kevin for his Japanese hoody. She says she deserves it because she jumped off the log. She claims that she could have beat Kevin, but since she threw it he should give her his hoody. Kevin refused saying there's no way in hell she's getting it. Ragamuffin then wants to argue over who made the best moves in the game. She's insists she the mastermind behind everything and that she's the better player. She's desperate for him to agree with her and I begin to wonder how Ragamuffin got such a narcissistically needy personality. I'm thinking it has something to do with her being an overachieving child athlete. She probably grew up winning everything and constantly receiving praise. Now that she's older her childhood achievements no longer hold any significance, but her need for praise and her entitled attitude still linger. The fact the game is coming to an end coupled with the paranoia of an uncertain Final 2 is making her unbearable.

Ragamuffin thinks that neither she nor Kevin can win against Jordan in the Final 2. How upsetting is that by the way? I'd rather Michele win than Jordan and, coming from me, you all know that's a very strong statement. Jordan has done NOTHING in this game. She asked to be carried to the end. Someone handed her her only HOH. She's a fucking joke and the idea of her walking away with a half a million dollars for a summer of eating and tanning makes me furious. Yes, she's cute and likable. I get that, but that is by no means a reason to win $500,000. I simply cannot reconcile the trailer park idiot winning by cuddling her way to the end.

I loathe the Ragamuffin like many of you all do, BUT she's played a pretty decent game. Don't throw the "but she hasn't won anything" argument at me. Will didn't win either. Ragamuffin won when she needed to. She was creative, manipulating, and utterly deceitful. She's also annoying, incessant, slightly dirty, and completely void of emotion BUT... BUT she played the game. Getting Russell out was the biggest move of the season and Kevin and Ragamuffin are responsible for it. No one can deny that pulling off that move significantly altered the game. While it's very easy to hate Natalie and wish scabies upon her, she's more worthy of winning than Jordan ever will be. If this were a popularity pretty princess contest then, by all means, Jordan should win.

Jordan and Kevin also have a talk about Final 2 and once again Kevin has his hands safely protected inside his shirt (I think he thinks Jordan will eat them or something.). Jordan tells Kevin that she doesn't think she can win against him. She thinks Lydia will vote however Jessie votes. I actually disagree with that. Lydia may like Jessie, but when has she ever done what he's told her to do gamewise (making food and doing laundry don't count as game play)? As we saw in that footage of the Jury House last week, Lydia and Jessie will be voting differently and, most assuredly, individually. Jordan goes on to tell Kevin that she's nervous and has diarrhea. Umm ewww. Jordan thinks that Natalie doesn't need the money. Kevin says that if he or Jordan should win, it would change their lives dramatically. I've said this all along and I'll say it again.... I don't care who needs the money. BB is not a charity. It's a game.

Ragamuffin joins them and the three begin to talk about the best and worst plays in the game. Not surprisingly Jordan is absolutely shocked by some of the things she's hearing. Ragamuffin tells her why Jessie didn't care for Jeff in the beginning. Jessie approached Jeff wanting to talk game and get his opinion on the other HG's. Jeff blew him off saying it was too early to talk game. That coupled with the fact that Jeff threw the first HOH completely turned Jessie off. All of this is 100% true by the way. We all saw it ourselves on the CBS show. Jeff didn't start playing until he won the Coup D'Etat. He wanted to hang out and have fun for the first few weeks.

Kevin chimes in and says that he never understood why everyone didn't try to align with the Athletes. They had the numbers and they had a lot of power in the beginning. He thought it was just common sense to align with people of power. Jordan says, "Really?" Kevin says that is where Laura and Casey fucked up. They went against the powers that be and that was their ticket home. Hate to say it, but it's true. I said the day Laura yelled at Jessie that she was history the next week. Kevin and Jordan tell Natalie how Jessie and Casey had an agreement and when Casey went against Jessie he went home. Ragamuffin refuses to believe it. She didn't know about their early alliance so of course, in her mind, it never existed. Kevin asks Ragamuffin, "Why do you think Casey thought he was so safe? He had a deal with Jessie." Ragamuffin snarls and shakes her fur.

Ragamuffin changes the subject to all things post show. She thinks her phone will be ringing off the hook when she gets out of the house. Kevin disagrees with her. He tells her how Jessie said himself that when he got out he went right back to living his daily life. Ragamuffin bares her fangs and said she meant that her family and friends will be calling her all the time. Kevin and Jordan say that they just don't think people will really care all that much. Ragamuffin bites both of their jugulars and they die. She spends the rest of the night wallowing in their blood and tellling herself she's the greatest Big Brother player of all time.

It'll be interesting to see what happens on tonight's show. Danielle (BB3), Janelle, Boogie, and Evel Dick will be on the show as well. I wonder why. Anyhow, I'm looking forward to see the jury house after Jeff arrived. I think they all hugged it out and had a circle jerk. Michele arriving will just be awkward. Wherever Michele goes, awkward follows.

Contest Finalists will be announced a little later. Be sure to check back this afternoon to see if you're a finalist!

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  2. All the bitching and complaining by BB fans alledging cheating is really getting on my nerves. These folks are yelling about rules and they have no idea what the HG were told. We don't know what the actual rules are. AND the bitching about the calendar has got to end. Michelle had her birth control pills and now we find out Jordan has a card calendar. So everyone in the final 4 had a study tool they designed. Yay for creativity! People really need to calm the fuck down.

    All the bitching is rife with this sense of entitlement that is just annoying. Sorry to rant but I'm so over it. I've stopped reading other blogs (that shall not be named) because of all the bitching. Sheesh. It's JUST a TV show.

    But I still heart you, Ms. LaLa!

  3. All I want is for the DR to stop talking to Nat. She drives me nuts, and I think she is reading something on the wall. Like she has a script or something taped to the wall because she is no monotone and dull.

  4. To really annoy the Jeff menopausal fans, I'd consider using Natalie's obnoxious yawn as a ringtone! Wouldn't it be totally insane if Jordan ended up winning this thing? I'm still bettin' on Lil' Stinky, though.

  5. Lala, I gotta agree with ya on all counts however painful. Yesterday during a couple of the conversations I sat dumb struck as Jordan was struck dumb thinking surely if she was special needs when casting the vetting process would have excluded her.
    I am compelled to wonder 1) as the shit spills out of her mouth do her ears/brain recoil? 2) is she makin' her poor Mama proud? and
    3) Not only should she not win $50K/$500K they should send her a bill for sucking up their air conditioning and a grocery bill.

  6. LaLa - I mostly agree with you this time, BUT i don't think there are ANY conspiracy theories. None. None for Nat, none for Jordan. I really honestly think CBS couldn't care less what really happens. People will always watch BB no matter what their emotions are. Its a proven fact at this point. What MAY be happening might be like this: (I really think this is how CBS/BB think) Final 3 is person A, person B, and person c. A won HoH part 1. A talks incessantly about being aliigned with B. Let's ask B loads of questions about C so we have a chance of editing this to look suspenseful. C is an idiot who can't win anything. Let's make HoH part 2 a little different, not so she has a chance, because that's impossible, but because C getting railroaded is completely boring. Let's make HoH 2 a little less predictable, even though that's basically impossible. - -

    I think this is more the mindset. I think all of BBs decisions are simply to make more exciting television and they can't care less who actually wins. Being a soap watcher for many years I can PROMISE YOU TV execs couldn't care less about making the viewers happy. They know people will watch anything.

  7. Oh..and as far as the cheating talk.. this is NOT some olympic official contest. Its a TV SHOW a GAME SHOW. People have GOT to stop nit picking.

    AND personally, i hate whoever started defining a "good BB player" by how evil they are, how much they lie, etc. I think what defines a good BB player is creativity, uniqueness, innovation. All these liars, manipulators, challenge throwers... its all been done. Next!

  8. I, too, am tired of all the conspiracy theory rumors out there!! I get tired of hearing it in the chats. If whoever THEY want don't win, well, this one muct have cheated, etc...blah blah blha. Get a fucken grip you moronic hags. I'm a moronic hag myself so don't jump down my throat please. All they can talk about is Kevin was sideways, nat's hand wasn't on the key, they have calendars!!! Other seasons have had calendars..what is against the rules is the pen and paper. If they are inventice enough to find a way to study, then let them!!! It's part of the game!!

  9. Agreed! Who cares if BB doesn't care. It's their game and we just get to watch. I do get a kick out of it though. Nut jobs crack me up. The latest is the elastic band Natalie tied around her hand and key at the start of the comp. I think Natalie doesn't think she is winning if she isn't trying to get away with something. She's always pushing the limits. It boggles!