Saturday, September 12, 2009

Idiots Need Not Apply

Good morning my lovelies! I'm in a good mood today... not sure why. Could it be because I'm going to treat myself to a kick ass new phone today? There's no one I love getting gifts for more than myself. ;) Knowing BB is coming to an end is a bittersweet feeling I need to come to terms with every year. On the one hand, I'm very glad to not have to sit here and watch my computer all the time. On the other hand, I'll have to find a whole new set of people to make fun of now. It takes a few days to adjust back into my normal routine which is why every year after BB I run for the hills. Literally, I get the hell out of Dodge and have some quality "me" time. The trip is all planned. I leave next Friday. Instead of looking forward to my little vacay, I'm actually fretting over when is the best time to post my Survivor Premiere recap over on the Bitchy Survivor Blog. Survivor is only once a week... how will I make sure all you bitches will keep coming back and not forget about me? Oh, but I won't think about that today. "I'll think about that tomorrow." (Tell me where that quote comes from and you're a winner!)

The house is super laid back now as you can imagine and the HG's literally slept all day. BB isn't really even bothering to wake them up anymore. When they do finally get up Kevin asks America to vote for him. Ragamuffin immediately bitches about how they won't be eligible for the "Juror's Prize". Kevin corrects her and tells her that everyone is eligible, but that it doesn't matter because Jeff will win anyways. Ragamuffin says, "You never know." Bitch you have no chance in hell at winning. My money is on Jeff or Jordan to win America's Favorite. Kevin says Jeff never even really played the game and that he should thank Jordan for winning the Coup D'Etat. Kevin thinks the pairing of Jeff and Jordan is what made Jeff so popular. He's not too far off the mark actually. Had Jeff been tight with, let's say, Lydia, America probably would not have voted for Jeff to get the Wizard Power.

Kevin says he's really conscious about everything he says now knowing that America has begun voting for their winner. Ragamuffin thinks people already know who they're voting for and that what happens now makes no difference. Kevin disagrees and cites Keesha as his example. He said how the last episode aired of Keesha was when she was betrayed. She got a good edit and America voted for her. I can't disagree with that. I found Keesha to be insufferable. I couldn't stand that screechy crazy bitch. I never could figure out how in the hell she won America's Favorite.

Kevin makes his way outside and he and Jordan begin talking about what they're supposed to do with their time now. Jordan asks BB if they can go on a field trip. Kevin says even a "ghetto field trip" would be fine. Jordan agrees and says a ride in a car would be sufficient (of course she didn't use the word "sufficient"). They both think a ride in a car around the CBS lot would be very cool.

Not long after, Ragamuffin comes outside. She animalistically chomps her cereal and kills all the fun. Jordan goes inside and Kevin and Ragamuffin begin to recap the game and the plays people made. They keep bringing up Chima and how Ragamuffin thinks she was done wrong. Kevin is saying that is was actually smart that Michele nominated Chima. He says that Michele got suspicious of them all because Jessie's girls were acting like someone died when he left. He says, "Michele was smart. She smelled blood and was like 'Bye Chima'" Ragamuffin gets quiet and refuses to comment.

They talk about how they couldn't believe Michele got the fact/fiction question wrong that said that Lydia and Jessie weren't talking in the jury house. Apparently, Michele thought that comp was geared towards Natalie to win since it was about Natalie's friends. Ragamuffin scoffs and says that's ridiculous. She wasn't friends with Casey and they asked about him. Kevin says, "You know how BB makes you suspicious of everything."

Kevin and Ragamuffin begin to play pool. They talk about their favorite comps and they agree that they both liked the Otev comp. Not long after Ragamuffin tells Kevin he'll be the biggest douchebag to America if he doesn't take her to Final 2. She tells him there's no way he'll win unless he takes her. Kevin doesn't comment and changes the subject to Russell. He says he always thought Russell and Natalie had a secret thing going on. He asks Ragamuffin about her conversations with him and Ragamuffin says she can't remember any conversations with him at all. Kevin is kind of quizzing Ragamuffin about things she's done in the house and it's a quiz she's not doing well at. Kevin says, "So you swear you had nothing with him?" Ragamuffin says, "I swear!" Kevin asks, "Then why did you cry when he left?" Ragamuffin says she started to feel bad about the things she did. Yeah right.

Kevin says he's dying to figure out all the secrets in the game and Ragamuffin says she's doubting everything about Kevin. She begins to give him a guilt trip about how she threw the HOH comp. He tells her he's done way much more for her than Jessie ever did. He brings up Pandora's Box and how Ragamuffin swore on everything she was telling the truth. Kevin thought it was weird that Julie didn't really ask her about it and how Ragamuffin brought up the proposal on her own. He's still suspicious about it all since they didn't bother to make it a huge part of the show on Thursday. He thought for sure Julie would ask specifically about the proposal and she didn't. Ragamuffin tells him Julie didn't even ask her about it in their private interview and she begins to whine again about how Kevin should give her his Japanese hoody. He still says no way.

The rest of the afternoon was pretty low key. At night they got a bunch of games like croquet, dominoes, crafty things, etc. Ragamuffin made them all dinner and Kevin was scared he'd get salmonella from it. Ragamuffin is on this new cooking kick where she wants to try to cook something new every night. Kevin tells her to cook fish tomorrow and then he says he'll make Hamburger Helper for himself. LOL

All 3 remaining HG's begin to discuss 9/11 and where they were when the planes hit. Jordan says that she was in school and someone came into her classroom to tell her teacher what happened (it's like that scene in Mermaids when Winona Ryder's teacher hears about when Kennedy was shot). The teacher told the class and Jordan put her head down on her desk and fell asleep. Yes, go back and reread that sentence. Jordan goes on to say that she didn't even know what the Twin Towers were and thought it wasn't a big deal at all. Kevin is mildly horrified. You can tell by the look on his face. Ragamuffin says she was in elementary school at the time. At least she got that lie correct.

8 years ago Jordan was 14 or 15, right? This is what bugs me. How could a 15 year old not grasp the severity of 9/11? Even little kids knew that something was amiss when that went down. Children are very peceptive when something isn't exactly right. I remember when Reagan was shot and being told to say a prayer for him. I didn't understand what was going on, but I knew it was serious. As far as 9/11 goes, I remember I was at my parents house when it happened. I was actually watching Good Morning America and I saw the 2nd plane hit. When we heard there were more planes unaccounted for and that some might be headed to DC, my mom became very worried for my little brothers and sisters. Their high school was right next to the CIA and she wanted them to come home. ALL the schools in the area let out early and I remember looking out the window and seeing all the roads packed with cars. Everyone was coming home from work and school. The country completely stopped that day. Maybe one of my readers can tell me if it was different in a small town. My experience was that everything paused. Is that just because I'm near Washington DC?

Anyhow, Jordan asks Kevin what happened with the planes and Ragamuffin says there were bombs on the planes. Kevin says, "There weren't no bombs girl! They crashed into buildings!" Ragamuffin refuses to believe it and Kevin goes on to explain how the terrorists took over the cockpit. He tells the two idiots how before 9/11 the cockpit wasn't locked and airport security was completely different than what it is now. He says little kids used to be able to tour the cockpit and go see the pilots.

Jordan then says her boobs feel weird and she asks Kevin to touch them. Ragamuffin says, "Have you ever touched a boob before?" He says no and Jordan says they don't feel right and she wants to get them fixed. Jordan talks about how she loves to watch the food channel and I think to myself she just makes it way too easy. Bitch doesn't cook. Why in the hell is she watching Rachel Ray? Wait. Don't answer that. I know why she's watching. I just lost my head there for a second.

Well, I'm going to end this here because I've got a new phone to go buy and I'm too antsy to ramble anymore.

Oh CBS has posted the application for BB12. Please, if you're an idiot, do not apply! I can't take it anymore. I want some smart crafty players to entertain me next summer not Chrissy Snow from Three's Company. And whoever suggested I go out for BB12 in yesterdays comments, here's what I have to say about that: Hell no! Knowing that there are evil people like me out in the world making fun of the HG's each and every day is not my cup of tea. I'd totally hook up in the house and then I'd be labelled the House Slut and be forced to do Playboy after I got out or some shit like that. I'd have to tour the country judging wet t-shirt contests and, as fun as that sounds, it probably gets old real quick. As flattered as I am that you think I'd make a great HG (I totally agree btw), I think I'll stick to my high maintenance existence and continue to observe from the sidelines. The idea of 10 weeks without internet, TiVo, or my leprechaun is too horrific to imagine.

Quick hello to Cheryl. What the hell took you so long babe?

One more thing, they reset the votes over at the BBTop50 so I need your votes more than ever now. I was ahead by almost 300 votes. WTF! Bitches. Ok so click on the voting button up at the right hand corner of this page and then click "Enter This Site". Thanks everyone!

Gah! One more thing... that shitty site that's totally stealing from me just gave away a mug in some contest... are you fucking shitting me? Why can't they get any ideas of their own?

Bookmark and Share


  1. I sure will miss the Bitchy Big Brother Blog - It is the 1st thing I read when I wake up... Thank God for Survivor!

    As far as 9/11 - I am from a small town in Connecticut, and while we are close to N.Y., things were the same here. Everyone pretty much stopped and was glued to T.V. sets where ever one could be found. I was at work at the time, and went to Dunkin' Donuts to watch the news on the T.V. there (of course, I work for a tyrant and had to keep working). I'd never seen DD so packed before.

    Your quote today is from one of the most wonderful movies of all time "Gone with the Wind", spoken by the beautiful Scarlett O'Hara!

  2. Hey! I've been reading your blog for about a month now-- read about it on Simon and Dawg's Online Spoilers. You have truly a gift with words (I have no reason to suck up) but when you describe Gnastalie-Ragamuffin as you write( actually a word my mother used to use) I can totally picture her as a snarling wolf. I also believe the quote above is from GWTW-- one of my all-time faves(did you know Vivien Leigh was a sex addict in real life?)!!! Anyway, about 9/11: I was (and still am) in San Antonio,TX when the WTC and Pentagon were attacked. We had four working AFBs at the time, and yes, our city came to a stand-still. A lot of people were sent home from work to be with their families as we thought our city could be a big target, too.

  3. I couldn't believe what Jordan said about 9/11 and the twin towers either... I was 11 and I understood. My parents worked for the airlines and I was really worried about them so the school let me call them. I lived in a small city outside of Dallas, we stayed in school the rest of the day but I knew it was very serious. Once I got home and was able to see footage I cried and my family went to church that night to pray. I don't see how 15yr old could be so dense... maybe she didn't have a tv?

  4. I'm from a town SMALLER than Jordan. In West Virginia of all places. And while it did not SHUT our town down... we all knew the severity of what was going on.

    If she wins this game... I may have to eat babies.

  5. I was in an isolated village in Arctic Alaska (really) and the world came to a standstill. Because of the time difference we all awoke to news of the first plane and breaking news of the rest of the attacks. My FIRST GRADE students knew something major was going on even if they didn't know what the WTC was.

    She must not win!!!

  6. Good Lord these people are on my last nerve! I like Jordan, but how can you not comprehend 9/11?? When it happened, I had a child in Kindergarden, and she even knew that it was serious! I'm beginning to think that the doctors transplanted her BRAIN into her BOOBS!! Oh, wait, her brain couldn't be THAT big...
    Anyway, I will miss your BB blog, but I am now hooked on you, so I will be reading Survivor blog. Love to you & the leprechaun.

  7. 1- I would be cool with Jordan winning if she blew me away with her final speech (which i don't see happening) she COULD totally spin what she has done into a good game play story (she won't though)
    2- Sorry, but i can understand Jordan not understanding about 9/11. We have no idea how the school told her and we know she didn't run home and watch the news. When things first started happening everyone was confused and you really had to be glued to the news in order to figure out what was happening.
    3- I'm from New York. Long Island to be specific, so when I say I was in the thick of it all, trust me. I woke up to get ready for work and had on ABC cauz i watched Regis and Kelly every morning back then. But it wasn't on. instead there was a plane sticking out of a building. it didn't register for a minute, but then i grasped that a plane was flying to low and flew into the WTC. I went downstairs to discuss with my stepfather. Then i had to race out the door. Picked up my coworker. Mentioned it to her. We listened to Howard Stern in then morning then. There wasn't talk about it. Then suddenly the commercials, yes commercials, were interupted with Stern screaming about how a plane just flew into the pentagon. We were freaked out. Then at work we listened to 1010wins (news radio) and over the next 6 hours they painstakingly tried to piece together what was going on with no information or facts. we worked in a store and anytime someone came in we screamed "we're under a terrorist attack" and they left. we finally went home and watched the news where they were finally starting to have facts. it definately was terrorism. we watched those planes fly into the buildings at least 500 times that day. Ever since then I always keep the news on in the background.

  8. And for the record, let us not forget that when our president OUR PRSIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES heard about the planes he continued reading a book to children. I can't attack dumb people. I can only feel pity for them.

  9. I'm from New York state (a small-ish city near Buffalo) and on 9/11 the day went on as usual. I heard about it in school and back then I didn't know what the WTC were but I did know something bad happened because the teacher that informed us seemed frightened. All of the teachers were told not to talk about it and to teach as usual. I realized how big of a deal it was when I got home and my older brother was watching the news. I'm only 2 years younger than Jordan so I can see how she didn't understand the severity of the situation.

  10. Gone with the Wind! and i will be following you on survivor and amazing race bitchy style! thanx for the many lafs. so glad i discovered you and your blog.

  11. Based on the wide range of accounts within the comments one can appreciate the shock & horror of 9/11 & what it required for the events to be processed into our collective psyche‘. Some compare the attack to our generation's Pearl Harbor. One could tender a defense that as a teenager she should be given latitude because she did not know a private sector landmark like the WTC even in the country’s largest city.

    However, it begs the question when you learn that there are simultaneous attacks on your country by an unknown entity against targets in several cities including governmental/historical nerve centers like the Pentagon, Capitol Hill & DC how can a 15-16 year old not understand the gravity of the day?

    And why after:
    .Thousands of families have lost love ones in an instant that morning;
    .Our nation collectively lost our naiveté and assumption of National security on our soil & in our skies;
    .First responders continue to pay the price of their dedication;
    .Eight years have passed & the propaganda, planning & prevention have been analyzed;
    .Regardless of anyone’s position on the war-our country has been at war; and
    .Her contemporaries have fought & died as a direct result of that atrocity.

    Those personally affected by those murders have constantly been barraged by people beyond our boarders justifying the murder of their civilian loved ones by individuals advancing religious and political philosophy.

    Yesterday, those same victims were further assaulted by sister golden hair interchangeably lamenting her botched boob job and her sister being pissed off because she needed a nap on 9/11.

    What the FUCK CBS/BB all fucking summer we see fish on the feeds because you are worried about legal waivers/releases or licensing rights? Why don’t you consistently take measures to preserve your fucking brand to social sensitivity as you did with Chima & Russell? I guess Mrs. Fields doesn’t fall into a predictable offensive stereotypes?

  12. Jordon makes me so mad, how can a person be sooo stupid? Everything that comes out of her mouth makes me feel dumber for having heard it. I actually enjoy the fact that she eats too much, it keeps her mouth busy so she can't speak.
    I live outside of Houston and on 9/11 we were terrified that we were a target because of our ports and refineries. I bartended back then and I was never busier than that day. People wanted to be together, schools closed and the refineries were purged of people except bare bones operators. We all sat around the tvs at the bar glued to the news all day and all night trying to make sense of it all. There were a million people there but it was eerie how quiet it was.
    As stupid and self absorbed as Jordon is now I don't find it the least bit surprising she didn't care about anyone else back then either.

  13. I have to say that I live in a small southeast Texas town and on 9/11 I was at work in a plant painting parts for military vehicles. There are no tv's or radios there, someone came back from lunch and told me that two planes had hit TWC. I thought it was a joke, and didn't know what TWC was, so I went back to work. When I got home and saw the footage I just sat and cried.
    Lala, that you for a wonderful blog and can't wait for Survivor to start! Give Mr. O a rub for me and enjoy your vacation!

  14. I too lived in TX at the time, suburb of DFW. It became quieter that day but did not shut down. Everyone who saw me said they were sorry & asked if I knew anyone in the building & was I worried...I was the only New Yorker around, they seemed to miss the point at that time that it was all of us attacked, not just NY & than anyone from anywhere could have been there even friends from abroad. The next day was very strangely quite and I remember the house shook when an F16 literally flew feet from the street. I also remember watching BB and the house guests reaction and wondering if they would end the show early or if that girl who had a relative in one of the towers would leave the house. Scary, weird, surreal time for all of us. Anyway, glad to have found your site it always gives me a laugh & makes me think; defiantly will vote & be here for Bitchy amazing race, my favorite show by far.

    Have a good one LaLa.

    Susan in FL

  15. Thank you Jo.

    Susan in FL

  16. You are fucking awesome!! Been reading your blog about 2 months and had to pour half a bottle of wine to just get the courage to go watch the flashback of their 9/11 convo.. I'm sure I will finish the bottle before my head hits the pillow for the evening! Just pretty pissed that Jordon is so dumb...what must life be like in that candy land brain?
    You mentioned NOVA recently in your blog and it creep'ed me out 'cause I almost wondered if I knew you.. based on this post I can say I had the great misfortune of growing up in GF..Langley '92..ughh
    I was working in Reston, driving on the toll road and heard it first on Howard Stern..lived in Old Town and could smell and see the smoke at the Pentagon from my 15th floor balcony. Scared shitless like everyone else.. that smell lasted for a week.
    Thanks for all the great daily entertainment! I don't think your fans will forget about you at are awesome at using the powers of the internets to keep us coming back!
    Aslan in GF

  17. The CBS voting is tough. You have to pick someone for all 3 scenarios even when you don't want to. Have to go with Kevin & then Jordan if it's between her & Natalie. While Natalie was a better game player, I just can't stand her.

    I guess seeing Chima close up makes her look prettier & younger. The hg keep saying how young she looked & how beautiful. She sure
    looked in her 30s to me & I missed the beauty part. She was ok, but nothing to write home about.

    What is with Natalie & the Japanese hoody? Go have your fiance buy you one!

    C'mon, did anyone really think Jordan would know what the World Trade Center was? This from a girl who never heard of the Louvre! Five dollars says Jordcan can't find NYC on a map. Ok, ten dollars if she can find NY state on a map. My last offer, twenty if she can find the United States...

    BTW, I've lived in Manhattan for the last 20 years. I didn't go down to the World Trade Center till last fall (job). It's still very hard to look at the site & as I don't work there any longer I haven't been back since last February. There are also a ton of tourists everyday taking walking tours & generally milling around (I have to admit it makes it tough for people who work down there). Vendors selling anything and everything are constantly being pushed back by the NYPD. When the new bldgs. go up, maybe it'll be easier for me to look that way whenever I go south of 14th street & know where they used to rise up over the west side.

  18. A lot of people doing the Superiority Dance around here. And let us not forget, Jo, you are an idiot. I pity you.

  19. After watching the boredom that is the BB house the last 2 days... I am convinced that Jordan will take Natalie if she wins Part III. And Jordan will win. (America, Jeff, Michele, Lydia and/or Kevin)

    If Kevin wins, he WILL take Jordan, and Jordan will win. (Nat, Jeff, Michele, and America.)

    JORDAN WILL WIN THIS GAME. DAMN! I need therapy.

  20. Hey there, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your blog! I've been reading every day for almost the whole summer.

    I can't fucking believe how stupid Jordan is. I'm from Canada, and I remember that day clearly as if it was just yesterday. Even up here everyone was at a stand-still. I was working at a restaurant at the time, and everyone was gathered around the tv's the whole day. My daughter was only 2 at the time and even she knew something serious was up.

    Keep up the great work, I can't wait to hear your thoughts on Survivor!! It's going to be tough only having one show a week for you to comment on though.

  21. I had just dropped my child off at daycare and had gone back home to get ready for work when a friend called me and told me we were under attack. We're both ex-military and immediately grasped the situation. I saw the second plane hit.

    We are in a VERY small town. I can't speak for the children, mine were too small, but the adults understood the gravity.

    I remember later that night, holding my family close, waiting for next attack. I remember feeling that way for a very long time. Sometimes, I still feel that way.

    Eight years later and the WTC is still a hole in the ground. It's a travesty, a scar, a wound that won't heal, a terrible reminder that safety is an illusion and freedom is never free.

    I won't ever forget that sentiment and I have made sure that my children won't forget it, either.

  22. CPM - I have NO CLUE why you called me an idiot, but I don't need your leftover pity. Thanks for the offer though.

  23. I'm a little late, but since I'm an "old" friend of Col Lala"s it's okay. 9/11... my kids were in middle school and I was at work. We found a tv in the basement and brought it into the office. That whole day was unbelievable the sky was blue and it was the most beautiful Sept. day, yet nothing was right. I went for a walk about 5 p.m. (we live in OH near a major AFB) and while I was walking and near home we had a sonic boom...I came in the house and the local news was confused and my 2 children looked like ping pong balls...they were so freaked out. My daughter slept on the floor in my and my husbands room for 3 months. My kids knew and understood the severity. (She was also ready to move to Canada). I can't even fathom how Jordan can be so clueless. She is 2 or 3 years older than my daughter!

    love ya Col... see ya at Survior and Amazing Race... gina