Self-inflicted pain. Lies. Duplicity. Traitors. Vengefulness. Backstabbing. Filth. That's more like it. Now I'm in the zone.
The Big Brother house is filled with all sorts of mythical fairytale creatures this year. We have a Wizard, a Manbeast, a Ragamuffin, a Cutter, a Queen, an Ass Licker, an Airhead, a Rat, a Love Muscle, a maniacal head of lips and hair with a body attached to it. The protagonists in this twisted tale struggle with reason and wrestle with their own sanity... much like the characters of an H.P. Lovecraft novel. This isn't horror fiction though. This is Big Brother.
So the big question is, Is Jeff the Wizard? Yes, I think so. Yesterday was the first day in this entire season where I saw a confident, shrewd, no bullshit talking Jeff. It was like he was a completely different player. Boy is the Wizard. No doubt about it. The Wizard was a bit of a point of contention yesterday. It's not due to the fact that Jeff got his power. It's due to the fact that others didn't. As the day progressed and the HG's (save Jeff) began to realize one by one that they were not the Wizard, everything slowly began to unravel and we experienced Mental Illness Day Part Deux (thanks HoodedWarrior!).
What transpired was truly disturbing. Lydia tells Jessie he makes her want to hurt herself and he rolls his eyes and sighs, "I know". All she wants is for him to acknowledge that he's treated her like shit. Manbeast won't even give her that tiny bit of respect. He's self absorbed moaning about how Lydia has been nothing but a problem for him. Talk about kicking someone when she's down. It was ugly. Very ugly. Yes, Lydia was annoying. I'll admit that, but Jessie was just plain cruel. He really hasn't an ounce of sympathy in his grotesque muscle-y body. People who go out of their way to bring others down get no sypmathy from me. Malice is truly the ugliest thing in the world.
After all the drama and the hate, we actually manage to get a very funny conversation. Men, cover your ears. I'm about to talk all things period-related. Natalie doesn't know how to use a tampon. Yes, she's on the rag and yes, she's not showering. Jordan tries to explain to her how a tampon works. They get confused over the fact that your pee hole is indeed different from your fuck hole (Sorry, I couldn't think of a better way to describe it). Jordan was trying to explain to Natalie that you can pee when you have a tampon in. She says, "The pee just goes down the string." Natalie asks if you reuse tampons. Jessie chimes in and says, "No! Even I know that." Natalie says, "So when you take your tampon out, it's full of pee?" Jordan says, "No, it's full of blood." I know. I know. Too much information, but I can't even believe that conversation took place with someone over the age of 16. Jordan finishes the conversation telling Natalie she will teach her how to use a tampon.
Natalie, confused over fuck holes and pee holes, is really fuming inside. She's livid that Jessie has been in the spa room with Lydia for over an hour. She tells Chima she's done with him. She specifically told him not to talk to Lydia again and he disobeyed. Oh go take a shower you filthy cunt rag. Cunt rag is my new favorite phrase. And shower she did. Her Have-Not punishment ended and a week's worth of grime was washed off her tiny evil body.
The night ended with messages from viewers being played into the house. Ok quick question: Why did everyone who called in sound like they live in a remote mountain cabin with no running water and rampant tooth decay? Every single message they played was tinged with a back woods mountains of West Virginey accent. Now I love West Virgina. I visit it often so I don't want to hear any attacks, but the people who were calling in sounded like they haven't been to school since the age of 14 and the messages were all moronic.
The messages ranged from begging the HG's for a car (I'm looking at you Mark from Hartford, CT) to singing them annoying songs over and over again. I got excited when I first heard the messages being played in every 10-15 minutes. I thought this will be funny, but then the same messages were just repeated over and over again. It was so fey. Chima told everyone who watches the live feeds to get a life and Ronnie obsessed over someone calling him out over picking his belly button while reading the bible. Natalie was offended by them all taking them personally and Russ and Jeff think they were all so mean. Ronnie announced, "It's official. America hates us." You got that right ratface.
Please to enjoy...
Russell wrote his HOH blog yesterday and never has an HG been more off the mark. Read for yourself how Russ has completely misjudged everyone in the house: http://www.cbs.com/primetime/big_brother/interact/hoh_blog/
So tonight is big. I'm very much looking forward to seeing Jeff get his power. If he doesn't use it tonight, I can say with absolute certainty that Ronnie is going home. HOH is going to be a nail biter... no doubt about it. I'd like Kevin, Lydia, Jeff or Jordan to win. I hope this coming week is when we finally see Natalie and Jessie on the block. Those two are due for some retribution.
Finally, I'd like to thank you all again for coming back everyday to read my little rinky dink blog. I went from having 3 readers to having several thousand in the span of a week. Your kind words of support and your spreading the word has made this blog reach more people than I ever imagined. Thank you for the retweets and the compliments. I really really really appreciate it. It's been a ton of fun and I'm thinking of doing a weekly Bitchy Survivor Blog as a result. Is that something you guys would be into? Let me know in the comments.