Saturday, August 10, 2013

The Witching Hour

When a group of like-minded people come together for the greater good, it is a tribe of sorts. And if that tribe has a well-executed plan and a clever name, it is a force to be reckoned with. Kindred spirits marching through time and space to the beat of their own drums plucking away all who stand in their way. I've gotta make this one quick today so... Let's recap, shall we?

OK, so Andy is our HOH and now it's time for him to hold court in his boudoir and meet with all the underlings. It sounds simple enough only it means that Andy is stuck up in his ivory tower with no one to pop in on. This is a new feeling for Andy. One that makes him antsy and pace a lot.

I flipped on the feeds when Andy was meeting with Helen. Normally, I can't be bothered with Helen - her cheerleading schtick drives me up a wall - but this little conversation right here is the first domino falling in a whole mess of dominoes. It will set the pace for, quite possibly, the rest of the game.

So, Andy and Helen are chatting about who should go up on the block. Andy already has his plan (Spencer and Jessie), but he's kindly hearing everyone else's thoughts. Helen tells him that she loves Amanda and McCrae, but that she thinks those are the two HG's they can't win against. Helen leans over with her hypnotic eyes and sympathetic brows, "Keep that in mind, Andy." Andy switches the subject to Jessie and they both agree that she is much more dangerous than Spencer. Helen says that Spencer is more malleable. Helen then starts to repeat itself over and over again, like she's putting a spell on the ginger lad, "You want to make a big move when you're HOH. Now is the time to make a big move, Andy. Look into my pinwheel eyes." Andy sits quietly and Helen continues, "If I win HOH next week, I might make a big move. I don't want to let the moment pass by."

Look folks, what Helen is trying to do here is get Andy to nominate Amanda and McCrae. Andy knows this is what she wants, but he is a smart guy. Plus, he doesn't care for pinwheels. The two then discuss who is the more dangerous of the two and they both agree that McCrae is. Helen tells him she thinks they can both beat Amanda, but not McCrae. Andy sighs and tells Helen that the only two people he trusts implicitly in this game are Amanda and McCrae. Amanda and McCrae are the only ones who told him everything about all of J-U-DD's many final two alliances. Helen looks visibly annoyed. She leaves the room, but not before she says, "Ooookaaaay, I will let you take the lead on this one." Umm, bitch, YOU ARE NOT HOH!

A frustrated Helen then heads downstairs to talk with Amanda in the bathroom. Helen tells Amanda that J-U-DD wanted to play with McCrae and wanted him all for himself. Amanda remarks, "I love McCrae, but this is a game and we have to play for ourselves. (Truth be told, she wants McCrae to win. Amanda is playing Helen right here.) Amanda tells Helen that if the four of them stick together (Amanda, McCrae, Helen, Elvira (Elissa)), then they will all make it to the final four like the Brigade did. She says as long as someone doesn't throw a wrench into their plan, it is smooth sailing from here to the final four.

Back up in the HOH, Andy tells Spencer that he is going on the block, but he is NOT going home. Andy says, "I want to tell you to not even pack your bags because there is no way you're going home." Spencer trusts Andy, but the idea of going on the block scares the hell out of him. Andy swears that it will be a unanimous vote to evict Jessie. Spencer then asks Andy if Helen is a threat to Spencer. Andy tells Spencer that Helen has much bigger fish to fry. Spencer sighs, "Well, Helen liked Howard too and she slit his throat." Andy, again, reassures Spencer that he is going nowhere this week. If Jessie happens to win HOH, then VaGina (GinaMarie) will go on the block and then home. The meeting ends with the two hugging it out.

Next up is Aryan. Andy tells her immediately that he wants to get rid of Jessie this week because she's ready to make a big move and he thinks it's going to be against someone they don't want her to make it against (i.e. Amanda & McCrae). Andy says the only people that matter to him are Amanda, McCrae, Aryan and Helen. He is completely fine going after Spencer next week. Aryan asks her if Jessie wins POV, will VaGina go on the block. Andy answers yes. Aryan says that if that happens, she's going to throw a vote VaGina's way or else she'll totally freak out. Aaryn then sighs and says that she is scared of Spencer. She has put him on the block twice and she's positive he'll come after her. Andy assures Aryan that he can get Spencer to go after Elvira and even Jessie if she ends up staying.

Meanwhile, Elvira, Amanda and McCrae are sitting outside. Elvira tells Amanda that she doesn't like how close Amanda is to Aryan. Amanda says that she's keeping Aryan close in order to protect Elvira and make sure Aryan never puts Elvira on the block. Amanda says she will continue to stay close to Aryan in case she wins something else. Elvira nods and the two talk about how great Aryan is in challenges. Amanda then tells Elvira that J-U-DD was trying to turn her and McCrae against Helen and Elvira. She tells Elvira that J-U-DD was trying to convince her that Elvira was MVP. Amanda tells Elvira she never believed him. She thinks J-U-DD was MVP. Andy then comes outside and asks Amanda if he can talk to her next.

Andy and Amanda head upstairs and the big question on every feedsters mind is whether or not Andy will tell Amanda that Helen wants to go after her and McCrae. The conversation starts out much like all the others - Spencer and Jessie are going up, Jessie will go home, VaGina will be replacement nom, yadda yadda yadda. Andy then tells Amanda that he doesn't think Helen is gunning for Amanda and McCrae, but who knows with Helen? It could get down to Wednesday and Helen could change her mind. The comment sort of flies over Amanda's head because she replies with, "It is imperative that Jessie goes home this week." Andy then says, "I'll be honest, Helen is worried about you and McCrae." BINGO!

Andy says that Helen was wondering when would be the best time to get rid of Amanda and McCrae. Amanda replies, "Really?" Andy assures her that he squashed it and told Helen that Amanda and McCrae are super loyal. Oddly enough, Amanda doesn't seem very worried about it at all. Andy then asks Amanda if McCrae was more loyal to J-U-DD than to their alliance of four (another suballiance: Amanda, McCrae, Helen, Andy). Amanda tells him yes because J-U-DD and McCrae had a final two deal.

Amanda then begins to tell Andy how much more loyal Aryan is to them than Helen. And there it is! It was a subtle kaboom, but mark my words - Amanda will put Helen in her crosshairs. I knew my girl wouldn't let a comment that Helen was targeting her pass her by unnoticed. Amanda then begins to get emotional about how loyal she, Andy, Aryan and McCrae are to each other. She tells Andy that she really feels like it could happen - all of them in the final four. Andy agrees.

And then we have the Nomination Ceremony. Andy has nominated Spencer and Jessie for eviction. Unfortunately, there were post ceremony blow-ups or brawls. Although, Jessie did put on some scary stripper bathing suit and bounce in and out of the water for the boys outside grilling dinner. She's so pathetic.

Several hours passed and I flipped my feeds back on around 10pm EST - which was perfect timing! To my utter delight, I see Amanda, McCrae, Aryan and Andy in the Have-Not room. Amanda is telling them all that if they stick together, they will get to the final four. She tells them they need to get Helen out as soon as possible (yes!). Aryan scrunches up her face and asks, "Are you sure?" And here is where Amanda lays out the plan. Andy has control of Spencer, Aryan has control of VaGina, Amanda has control of Elvira. The only wild cards out there are Jessie and Helen. This week they'll get rid of Jessie and then next week, Helen. Between the four of them they completely run the house. Andy begins to get excited about the idea. He loves Helen but homegirl is screwing up his game. Sensing Andy's excitement, Aryan begins to get excited. All the while, McCrae nods and agrees. And there you have it, a birth of a new alliance. Meet 3AM - 3 A's (Amanda, Aryan, Andy) and and M (McCrae). Their mission is a simple one - take the house back from Helen!

When Amanda and McCrae leave the room, Andy and Aryan have a chat about the final four. Aryan says that she and Andy are stronger than Amanda and McCrae. Andy almost tinkles himself and remarks that he's getting goosebumps all over.

On a personal note, I LOVE this new alliance of four. It would be my ideal final four because I like everyone involved and I think it would be a fantastic battle at the end of the game. We know I love Amanda. Andy is growing on me everyday. I've totally forgiven Aryan. As for McCrae, I'm not thrilled with him right now, but I'd rather he be in the running to win over than any of the others in the house (Helen, Spencer, Elvira, Jessie, VaGina). I usually bail on the feeds in the end of the game due to boring and uninteresting people, but this 3AM excites me!

So, what do you think of Andy's nominations? Will VaGina go apeshit if Jessie wins POV? Will Helen find out about 3AM? What do you think of a 3AM final four? Comment it out bitches and have a great day!

And, don't forget, the Big Brother Gossip Show is LIVE tonight at 10pm at THIS PLACE!

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Friday, August 9, 2013

Wounded Bear

If J-U-DD was Native American, his name would be - Wounded Bear Walking Into The Distance. Wounded because he never saw it coming. Wounded because it was a surprise attack. Wounded because that insufferable Jessie is still around and he isn't! Keep your chin up, Wounded Bear. Ahummina hummina. Who knows? You might even get to come back. It is a well known fact that wounded black bears awaken from their hibernation perfectly healed. Jury is your hibernation, J-U-DD. Use it to heal. And when you awaken, ahummina hummina, girls from here to Wal-Mart will be throwing themselves at your feet. Let's recap, shall we?

A fast paced night filled with cheers and tears left a lot of Big Brother fans waking up with sad faces today. Namely, McCrae and Andy, but more on that later. Let's tend to some housecleaning first. So, Candice went home with a unanimous 7-0 vote followed by Aryan win HOH. Aryan nominated Spencer and Jessie for eviction. The blonde powerhouse continued her winning streak by also winning POV. Here is where things get interesting. Over the week Amanda has convinced herself that J-U-DD was up to no good and working against her. Since Amanda pretty much runs the house, Aaryan used her POV and replaced Jessie with J-U-DD. Ugh! Why?!? Yes, I am an Amanda fan, but, no, I am not happy about this. If I have to listen to Jessie analyze another one of her stupid dreams, I'll kill myself. Long story short, J-U-DD went home 6-0.

The feeds come back and, surprisingly, everyone is pretty down about J-U-DD's eviction. Everyone, that is, except for Jessie. Jessie could be heard whining in that horrible valley girl twang of hers, "Karma is a bitch! J-U-DD went home because he told me to shut the fuck up." It is true that J-U-DD told Jessie to shut the fuck up earlier in the day, but he wasn't tempting karma. He was doing the Lord's work! Everyone wants Jessie to shut the fuck up. EVERYONE. She's needy, homely and whiny.

So, everyone is sad and quiet. We see Andy in the corner wiping away his tears and questioning whether or not he made the right decision with his vote. Someone in the room breaks the morose silence and says, "He went out in his bear shirt." Amanda asks Elvira (Elissa) if Candice was wearing Elvira's belt when she was evicted (Candice has a nasty habit of borrowing other people's things without asking). Elvira replies in the affirmative and says she'll get it back from Candice in the Jury house. An interesting statement, if you ask me. Does Elvira assume she won't make it to the final two?

Speaking of Amanda, she also starts to cry and says that J-U-DD was the biggest BB fan next to McCrae. BUT, he was in a shitload of alliances - including one where he had a final two deal with Aryan (This is mainly why Amanda wanted J-U-DD gone. With J-U-DD out of the picture, she can have Aryan to hersself.) Amanda tells the group that she is convinced J-U-DD was trying to get her out of the game (Not really. Not yet. Jessie has been though.) Still, love or hate Amanda, she has successfully run yet another HOH.

And then we have VaGina (GinaMarie). VaGina, in her bright blue not-Nick's hat is mad that Candice went out like a slag. She's not classy, yo! Sta-en Island represent! I need to interject here in order to discuss another misused word. Today's lesson is about the word "classy". Candice thinks she is classy and VaGina thinks she is classy. Sorry home skillets, neither of you are classy. When trying to decipher whether or not someone is truly classy, ask yourself, "Would Catherine Deneuve do that? Would Kate Middleton shriek at the top of her lungs like that?" If the answer to either of these questions is no, then you are NOT CLASSY. I can freely admit that I, too, am not classy. As I type this, there is an empty yogurt next to my bed and a thong thrown on a chair. Would Kate Middleton do that? Probably not.

Back to VaGina... VaGina is mad Candice went out like a piece of trash since VaGina left her such a nice goodbye message. VaGina then, for reasons only known to herself, says, "I live wit my mom and drive a piece of shit car! I live in a piece of shit room and wear blue contacts!" I don't what that has to do with the price of tea in China, but there you go. A little VaGina wisdom to get your day started.

Meanwhile, Andy says that voting out J-U-DD was the hardest decision he's ever had to make. Helen jumps in and they both tell Jessie that they couldn't let her know about the plan to get rid of J-U-DD. Andy tells Jessie that J-U-DD really wanted her out of the game - what's wrong with that?! Jessie replies, "Why me?!" Helen mentions that it had something to do with Howard (?). Amanda then enters and tells the group that J-U-DD would tell her things and then tell her not to tell Andy about it. Jessie seems pleased to know that everyone was trying to protect her (they weren't. Amanda was protecting herself) and she actually appears to have forgiven Amanda for all their past b.s..

Aryan then enters and laments, "Two members of Jury hate my guts!" Helen quickly tells her that it was the biggest move in Big Brother history. Aryan sighs and says that she is glad she won the HOH she did. She didn't want to win the next one. She says she has slept up in the HOH room too much already.

The sadness then suddenly turns to relief. Andy is relieved to have the $13,000 he'll make since he lasted until Jury. He quit his job before entering the game and needs that money. Jessie, too, is relieved. You know who's not relieved? Me. ME! When Jessie is happy, I feel all sorts of things. Relief is not one of them.

But then, THEN!, the camera quickly switches to the cockpit where one lingering sentence hangs in the air. McCrae is heard whispering to Spencer that Amanda will beat him and she has to go home. OH. MY. GOD. Amanda and Andy then enter the cockpit and the conversation turns to Howard and Eyebrows (Kaitlin). Aryan and VaGina then enter and both bitch about Candice's speech. Aryan then says Candice is a racist which totally makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Mean girl Aryan is my favorite Aryan. I prefer her over sweet and nice Aryan any day of the week. The room then compliments Spencer on his speech during eviction.

VaGina then tells Andy that she heard J-U-DD saying his name. Andy stares back at her very confused. Basically, VaGina has no idea what she's talking about. VaGina NEVER has any idea what she's talking about. She says, "I don't like to tawk. Conferdentialiality and all that shit. I ain't no fuckin' rat, but J-U-DD is gone so..." *scratches head* Umm, thank you, VaGina. Thank you for your contributions to society.

Back in one of the bedrooms, Elvira and Jessie now want the Diary Room to start giving them Adderall. They blame all of Aryan's wins on Adderall which is ridiculous because look at Amanda. Amanda takes Adderall too and she hasn't won shit! Plus, you should know, that just the night before Elvira was busy telling everyone that Adderall is like crystal meth. Elvira is a twit.

Speaking of Amanda not winning any competitions, she lost another one last night. The second HOH competition was last night and, get ready, heyyy Andy won! Andy is overjoyed, naturally, but Amanda became extremely upset because she still hasn't won anything. Helen tries to console Amanda and tell her that she is the best strategic player in the house. Helen says that she thought she'd be good at everything too, but it turns out that she's not.

The day ended with McCrae crying over J-U-DD and claiming that his game is over now. Amanda tries to console him saying that if he makes it to final two, J-U-DD will definitely vote for him. She also tells him that if they both make it to final two, she definitely won't win and she's ok with that. She really wants McCrae to win.

So, what did you think of last night's show? What's up with Aryan kicking ass in all the challenges? Do you think a Jury member will return to the game? Will McCrae start plotting against Amanda? Comment it out bitches and have a great day!

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