Saturday, July 10, 2010

I Just Took A Big Beige Poo

The day started with a whimper... a whine if you will. Brendon, our nominee and Badda-bing's first target, isn't a happy camper. In fact, he's down right angry. That Helmet Headead Hayden put him on the block and after many hours of reflection, Brendon has decided that Helmet Head is simply jealous of Brendon's good looks. You see, Brendon fancies himself to be somewhat of a Jeff 2.0. He walks around with his shirt off a lot, he shouts moronic juvenile phrases, and his hair is brown. As far as Brendon is concerned, he might as well be Jeff's twin brother. I only wish I could smuggle a note to Brendon telling him that Jeff was a tool with the brain of a Today Sponge. Since I can't set Brendon straight myself, I guess I'll just have to make fun of him and one by one point out his every weakness. *sigh* It's a tough job, but someone's gotta do it.

OK so Brendon is all, "Why me? Hayden's so jealous that I'm super handsome. He's just young, dumb, and full of cum." Yes, Brendon actually said "young, dumb, and full of cum.". Right after I tattooed that phrase on my ass I came back to find Brendon still bitching about Helmet Head. He bitched to Annie. He bitched to Rachel. He bitched to the dying fish in the fish tank. He told everyone with ears (or gills) that Hayden wants Brendon gone because Brendon is such a hot piece of ass that all the girlies will want to hook up with. Annie nodded and listened to what Brendon had to say. On the inside, I'm sure she was thinking, "Is this guy for real?". It's not everyday you see a big strapping dude get catty over "who's cuter". Annie pretty much just levels with Brendon telling him he has no choice but to win POV or else he's going home. I think Brendon already knew that. I think what he really wanted was reassurance that he's hotter than Hayden. After some more fist clenching and foot stomping by Brendon, Ragan enters the room and says, with a deadly serious face, "I just took a big beige poo." And there you have it, welcome to Day 6 in the Big Brother house Bitches!

Jewy JewBoy, Rachel, and Brendon are hanging out talking about the impending POV. Jewy is telling them how Enzo keeps instructing Jewy to keep the nominations the same if he wins. Brendon turns away from the full length mirror he's gazing into and says, "Did you know that Hayden is intimidated by me? He's 24. He thinks with his dick. He's young, dumb, and full of cum." *sigh* It was funny the first time you said you rah-tard! Now it's just annoying. Rachel chimes in, "Speaking of cum, you really need to stop saying sexual things to the ladies Andrew." Andrew's head spins around like Ass Licker... errrr I mean the Exorcist chick... almost losing his yarmulke in the process. His face turns beet red and he asks Rachel to elaborate. Rachel tells him how Kathy thinks he's perverted and how his pap smears aren't exactly well received, yadda yadda yadda. You would have thought someone had just put a slice of cheese on a piece of pork or something. Jewy was speechless. He can't believe the women don't like him. With healthcare what it is these days, he thought he was just helping the ladies out by offering free pap smears. After an awkward stunned silence Jewy says, "Thank you. I can't believe the girls hate me. Wow."

This brings me to Annie. I've had a lot of people ask me how I feel about her now that she's playing all sides and playing a little too hard. Actually, I'm still ok with her. She's making as many alliances as she can which always gets out to the rest of the house, but after some seconds of thought, I've decided that once I see her in a position of power, I'll decide whether or not I hate her. She's a bit of an outsider right now and after watching the various sides of the house all day yesterday, I kind of can't blame her. She'll never fit into Badda-bing (Enzo, Matt, Hayden, Lane), Brendon and Rachel are busy being lovers, and Britney, Kathy, and Monet are simply repulsive and childish. That pretty much just leaves Jewy and Kristen. Jewy has his own issues to contend with and Kristen... well, I think Kristen shapeshifts into a butterfly or a plastic cup during the day because, seriously, that bitch is NEVER around. When you look at all the options, Annie skimming the surface really isn't all that bad.

The one thing I do like about Annie is her obvious dislike of Monet. Monet has been fairly quiet and not very Chima-like (like everyone expected) so far. I've even seen some tweets where people actually like her. But then, I began to notice the things coming out of her mouth. Her and Britney would lie next to each other for HOURS and point and stare and nitpick everything that's wrong with Rachel, Annie, and Kristen... especially Rachel. Now, Rachel's on the block and I never understood why. I thought maybe people thought she was phony, but after further study, Rachel is actually pretty genuine. Sure, she has a goofy laugh and she says some boneheaded things, but I don't think she has a mean bone in her body. She's blissfully ignorant to all the game play going on and I truly think she's just there to hang out in the BB house until someone tells her to go home. She's not plotting evil schemes, she doesn't make fun of people... she's innocent. I know "innocence" doesn't fit her appearance, but it's true. In Rachel's world, charity is fun, helping people is compulsory, and laughing a lot is second nature. It's her attitude coupled with her big breasts that's throwing people off I think. It's like seeing the Montauk Monster for the first time. You're not sure whether you should be scared or think it's cute so you either make fun of it or think it's precious.

OK so this brings us to the big POV. Brendon needs to win this to save his ass and wouldn't you know it? Brendon wins it and saves his ass. Better yet, I think the competition was the "technotronics" word spelling one. Way to be original BB! You just know Brendon skipped up to his room to write in his journal... Dear Diary, I'm one step closer to being just like Jeff. Actually, I'm gonna be better than Jeff. I won the competition he lost last year. He's gonna be sooooo jealous of me. Kisses. Talk to you later! Love, Brendon... So yeah Brendon won POV and ain't that a bitch?

Yes, it is a bitch. It's a big pile of steaming bitchiness. And if you ask Enzo, it's pretty much the end of the world too. Our Italian Stallion had it all planned out. Brendon would go home, Andrew would leave the next week, he'd win HOH after that, on day 23 he'll win a prize, day 60 they'll have a party, and on day 2000 he'll win the 500K. Enzo has this thing all planned out minute by minute. Brendon winning makes Enzo have to go back to drawing board and start all over again. Some words on Enzo: he's hysterical, he has a divine gift for turning a phrase, I think he snuck meth into the house, he should always keep his hat on, and once he gets fixated on something he doesn't shut up about it. Somehow Enzo has now gotten it into his hair plugged head that Annie is not only the reason Brendon won, but she's also the strongest player in the world, she's smarter than everyone else, and I think she invented air too, but I can't be sure. Whatever is of monumental importance in the world, it's all Annie's fault.... according to Enzo.

This begins the Enzo V. Annie portion of the day. Actually, "portion" is too limiting. Let's just call the whole day Enzo V. Annie. OK so POV is over and Enzo is throwing a fit. He doesn't know where to turn or what to do. If there's one thing Enzo hates, it's losing. Although, I'm pretty sure everyone else on the planet hates losing too, but that's neither here nor there. Enzo is questioning everyone, running from room to room, he's breaking a sweat, his hair plugs are beginning to squeak, and then he approaches Annie. "Annie", he says, "So uh who you uh gunna put up for nomineration if you uh win head of household?" Annie replies, "Andrew". Enzo takes his new information runs back to Badda-bing and announces, "That Annie is the saba-tore. I just know it!".

(The Salvatores)

OK I need to pause here because I feel it's my duty to address how people in the house are pronouncing "saboteur". Enzo, Badda-bing, and Britney pronounce it like "Saba-Tore", but they say it really fast like they're saying "Salvatore" but with a 'B' in the middle. I'll be sitting here watching and someone will say, "I think she's the sabatore". Naturally, I react like any CW fan would. I look around the room and wonder if it's Damon or Stefan who's infiltrated the house. Seriously, I'm beginning to thing bloodsucking is the second twist. It's unnerving.

Since Enzo has now strangely identified Annie as a Salvatore, he's running around the house trying to convince everyone that Annie should go on the block in Brendon's place. The HOH, Helmet Head, is upstairs taking a shower and painstakingly matting down his hair so he has no bloody idea what Enzo is up to. Enzo approaches Britney and her vile minions with his plan. Britney shakes her head and advises everyone not to play stupid. They have to get rid of Rachel because she's in an alliance with Brendon. Breaking up that alliance should be number 1 on the list. Britney has a point... sure, it's a moronic point, but it's a point nonetheless. Rachel is a threat to no one. Let's get real. It would be very easy to blindside her and take her out somewhere around week 4. I don't advise they let her stay in too long or else we'll be stuck with an undeserving winner like we got last year, but she's not on a "need to go" list right now. Britney just doesn't like her for superficial reasons. For chrissake she spent half the day making fun of everything from Rachel's hair, to her voice, to her nail beds.

Speaking of superficial, let's chat a bit about Kathy. I really can't stand this woman. First off, she's always supine. I don't think I've ever seen her stand or walk since this game started. Secondly, she's the ringleader in all the petty bitchiness going on. It's Kathy who gets the younger gals (Britney, Monet) going when it comes to making fun of Rachel and Annie. She's like a crone, lying on her back, stirring her pot, and blowing potions in people's faces. And that voice... my god, that voice. It's killing me. Seriously, I can't stand it. Ok so get this.... Enzo, Kathy, and Monet are lying on some bed talking about Annie. Enzo thinks everything out of Annie's mouth is a lie including the fact that she's been in a relationship for 2 years. He thinks there's no way she could have a boyfriend because she hangs out with Lane a lot. Well, geniuses, she doesn't have a boyfriend. She has a girlfriend and she said beforehand that she'll flirt with whoever she has to to get information. Anyhow, Enzo is calling her a liar and Kathy spits out "Maybe she's gay. Just kidding!". They all look around at each other and then burst into giggles because in their puny minds a girl who doesn't play softball and wears make-up can in no way, shape, or form be gay. As far as I know Annie has been pretty honest about her relationship. I just think she hasn't attached a pronoun to her significant other as yet. I could be wrong. Someone in the chats claims she heard Annie refer to a "he". Can anyone else verify this?

Enzo continues on his anti-Annie tirade. He's flitting back and forth from room to room telling everyone how Annie talks to too many people and pops up at the most inopportune times. Keep in mind, Enzo is the one frantically approaching every HG and Annie, for most of the afternoon, was completely MIA. As that skanky bitch Creme Tangerine said, "Enzo's doing exactly what he's accusing Annie of." Yes, Creme Tangerine, you are right. Still, don't get me wrong, I like Enzo. I like him a lot. I just happen to think he has a bag of crystal meth hiding in his no-no. No way he's that wired without a little sniff sniff.

Finally, Helmet Head has finished with his shower and finally Enzo can get a little face time and start making his pitch. Enzo outlines how Annie likes to walk around a lot, talk to people, breathe, and sometimes laugh. Clearly, she's the Sabatore. She rested her right elbow on the counter which must be secret sign to Big Brother. Also, she may have peed in the toilet at some point which is pretty much a billboard for Sabatore-ness. Hayden nods and listens and thinks Enzo is making some good points. Hayden's only problem is he's shaking in his booties over what's gonna happen next week. If he puts Annie on the block and she stays in the house, she'll undoubtedly turn into her evil flesh eating monster form and kill everyone she lays eyes on. That scares big whole scaredy cat Hayden. Maybe they could up Kathy instead... as a pawn.

Enzo does a little sniffy sniffy in the WC and heads back out for Annihalate Annie Part Two. I could literally write for days on all the insane conclusions Enzo jumps to, but this is getting too long and I've got shit to do so I'll sum it up. Enzo talks to the Petty Bitches some more about Annie. The idea of Kathy being a pawn doens't sit so well with them. They decide that if Annie goes on the block, they'll vote her out. They guess they can live with Rachel for one more week. Enzo runs to Hayden tells him Annie is a goner, Hayden agrees, and they all plan to keep it a SECRET from Brendon and Rachel until right before the POV ceremony.

Cut to a few hours later... Hayden is telling Rachel she's safe. He's vague on who he's nominating. Rachel thanks him and vows not to nominate him and offers to help him out in future weeks if he needs it.

Cut to a few more hours later.... Hayden begins to rethink his plan because he's petrified of Brendon coming after him. If Rachel stays, Brendon will be super scary and Hayden could be in trouble. *rolls eyes* Now, Hayden wants Annie to stay and Rachel to go. *smacks forehead really hard*

Cut to even later... Hayden and Annie talk and Hayden hints that Annie is up shit's creek. Annie doesn't understand why everyone suspects her of being up to something. She claims she's just trying to get to know everyone. Hayden, with tinkle running down his leg, admits to being scared about what'll happen to him next week. He advises Annie to work fast to change people's minds.

The night ends with Annie having a complete mental breakdown in the bathroom. I didn't witness it, but I was reading some tweets last night and was dismayed to find people calling Annie the new Amber. Give me a fucking break. Amber cried just to cry. Amber was mentally unstable. The girl actually thought she could be a model. Enough said. Like I said earlier, Annie was GONE most of the day. I don't know where she was or what she was doing, but she wasn't around for hours while Enzo was doing all his scheming. All this shit went down behind her back so, no, I don't blame her for crying after finding out that evil cunts were plotting against her all day long. She thought she was making friends and getting to know everyone. Turns out the cuntwads were taking everything she's ever said and twisting it around. That deserves a tear or two.

So, as of right now I'm still on Team Annie. I'd like her to stay in the house. My preference would be for Kathy to leave so Rachel can stay too. I'm still ok with Badda-bing, but I really loathe Britney and Monet. As for Kristen... I figure she's like a comet. I'll see her again in about 8000 years.

Big super special shout out to Pip&SqueaksMom from BCC! Thanks bitch! I see you.

I'm still working out my sleeping schedule so bear with me until I nail down a sense of normalcy. These assholes are staying up much later than I had anticipated. I will adjust appropriately.

So, how do you guys feel about Annie? Do you think she's the Saboteur? Are you still liking Enzo? Would you like Britney and Monet to criticize each other to death? What about Hayden? He's a total pussy, right? Comment it out bitches and have a great day!

Friday, July 9, 2010

I Should Have Queefed On His Face

They are born.

Big Brother has spread her milky white thighs and eeked out 13 unsuspecting HG's covered in viscera, goo, and what I suspect is matzo ball soup. How's that for a Dickensian opening? I thought I'd class up the joint a little this year. Now, back to the dick jokes!

The clock strikes 12 and like an old man coughing up phlegm, the Live Feeds spit and sputter and finally turn on. Woohoo! I say "Woohoo!" not for the joy of the Feeds, but for what the Feeds have generously put on my lap. Jewy JewBoy (I'm allowed to say that - my bff is Jewish) is crouched on the ground in front of Annie trying to lift up her blanket and get a quick pap smear in before anyone else is the wiser. Wait a tic... I thought he was a foot doctor. Apparently, Annie had the same thought too so she kicked him in the head and promptly threw a tantrum. Rachel, never one to ignore a camera pointing in her direction, feigns surprise, clutches her pearls, and says, "Thank god that wasn't me! I don't have any panties on!!!" So yeah, 2 seconds into the Live Feeds we have one pissed off bisexual, a seemingly pervy Jew, and a big breasted redhead running around Commando. Is this gonna be an awesome season or what?!

Usually it takes a while for feedsters to figure out who's on the block and what got them there. Lucky for us, these BB12 bitches are talkers who like to complain and rehash stuff... incessantly! This week's nominations are Pantiless Paula (Rachel) and Brendon. I could kind of understand why Commando Sally is on the block, but I wondered what Brendon did to piss of Hayden (HOH). If you ask Annie, who has an opinion on just about everything and isn't scared to share it, Brendon is creepy and, in addition to flirting a lot, he likes to slap the salami two times a day. My first thought? Yes! My mission this season is to get a screencap of Brendon playing with his one-eyed monster. *claps hands* Project! My second thought? It won't be long til Brendon hooks up. Remember how last season I was psychic and right about everything? Well, yeah, that's still the case. More on Brendon and his lusty adventures later.

(Forgive my ghetto Screencap. BBReloader is no more so I'm playing around with some new programs.)

So Jewy JewBoy thought it would be funny to flash the feedsters a vajayjay at the opening. Sure, it's funny and all and I appreciate the effort, but maybe humiliating a girl who seems to be wound super tight might not be the best of ideas. Annie's all pissed off and she needs to vent to someone who'll give her some attention. It turns out Kathy was badly injured in the Have/Have-Not competition (her arms look like Rihanna's face did) and she's confined to the bench to convalesce with a blanket, some smokes, and a permanent sneer on her face. I hate this bitch. I didn't like in her interviews and I like her a lot less now. That accent is gonna drive me insane I just know it. Anyhow, these two yentas begin to whisper all about Andrew. They talk about how annoying he is, how he might be the saboteur, and how he has a small penis. Now, I don't know if the small penis thing is true or if that was Annie's way of getting back at him. What I do know was that it was a dick joke so, of course, it made me laugh.

Annie, who was my pick for Early Favorite, is paying off in spades. She's hyper conscious of absolutely everything going on in the house. She almost got hit by a drive by pap smear and she's obsessed with the saboteur even though she insists he/she isn't affecting her game play at all. Right off the bat, she thinks Jewy JewBoy is the culprit. Perhaps she's right. Remember how last night Andrew became the Weeney Mascot who earned himself immunity for the week? Well, was that preplanned? Did BB instruct Andrew to do that? Hmmmm, I'm not sure. Maybe Annie's the saboteur and she's trying to deflect attention away from herself. Or maybe it's Kathy. Could it be her injuries are from the saboteur minefield? I have no bloody idea who it is. What I do know is that it's either Jewy JewBoy or he wants everyone to think it's him. That's what people on that show The Mole would do. They'd try to confuse the other competitors by purposely acting moley. You have to admit it is a little convenient that Andrew is safe this week.

Back inside the house a gang has formed. I've dubbed this gang The Baddabing Gang. Members of Baddabing are Enzo (duh), Matt, and Hayden. Britney floats on the perimeter of Baddabing right now, but I'm thinking Baddabing might be solely a men's club for the duration. Like all angry Italian "men's clubs", Baddabing has a target and his name is Brendon. We already know that Annie and Kathy think he's creepy and that his masturbatory habits are a little over the top, but I can't really tell why Baddabing has a problem with him. And then I hear it... coming from outside. It starts like a low mumbling and then amplifies to what sounds like a madman shouting. "Technotronics! Technotronics!" Oh hell to the no. Do NOT tell me BB has snuck in Jeffy Pooh for another summer of torture. I frantically switched my feeds to outdoors and sighed with relief. No, it wasn't Jeffy Pooh. It was just Brendon.... Jeff worshipping creepy jacking off Brendon. He's trying to flirt with the ladies and, for some reason, he thinks shouting "Technotronics!" repeatedly is the way into their hearts. Naturally, I issued a tweet that Brendon was a tool. Take a guess at what I saw in my BB12 search column on Twitter. Yep, cat ladies everywhere swooning over how cute and Jeff-like Brendon is. I promptly stuck a melon baller into my ocular cavity and poured myself another tumbler of gin. *sigh* It's gonna be a looooong season.

OK so Baddabing wants Brendon to hit the high road and they're going over what could happen with the POV competition. This POV players are: Hayden, Rachel, Brendon, Monet, Andrew, and Enzo. Baddabing is concerned that if Andrew wins, he'll take Brendon off the block. Enzo plans on keeping the noms as is out of "respect" for the HOH. After a brief conversation about Reese Witherspoon movies, Baddabing gets back to POV plans. They decide that if Brendon comes off the block, Ragan should go up in his place. It's not that they necessarily want to get rid of Ragan or anything. It's just that they don't want to put anyone else who can help them further down the line in jeopardy just yet. Rachel isn't really their target, but if she has to go then so be it. No sweat off their hairy backs. What Baddabing knows for sure is that the plan for Week 2 is to crucify the Jew... if you catch my drift. It turns out Andrew and his yarmulke like to talk and speculate a lot especially about Enzo. Well, since Enzo is a "made man" and Andrew is a Christkiller.... sparks are bound to fly. Baddabing plans to evict Andrew as soon as is humanly possibly. That, or they'll take him to an abandoned warehouse and whack him. Who knows?

While Baddabing is busy cleaning their guns and making Scorcese shrines, Monet is now outside with Kathy. They're under the pap smear blanket bitching about Annie and Rachel. They don't like how Annie and Rachel think they can get famous from being on the show. In actuality, I think it's just good old fashioned jealousy. Annie and Rachel look cute, they've made friends, and they seem to be having a good time. Meanwhile, Kathy is miserable and Monet isn't getting the attention she feels she deserves. Another big gripe with these two is how Rachel reacted during the POV ceremony. Apparently, Rachel picked Monet's ball and immediately made an evil "Awwww no fucking way... why me?!?" face. Monet interpreted it that she is the new target to go on the block. Others interpreted it as Monet being worthless to compete with. I don't know what the impetus behind the "You've got to be shitting me?!" face was, but there is definitely no love between Rachel and Monet. Awaiting the imminent blow up between them is oddly delicious though. Don't you agree? Hair extensions could start flying, bikini tops will be torn off, they'll both be wrestling with only their good angles to camera... can't wait!

Back inside, Jewy JewBoy and Enzo are having a little chat about alliances. JewMeister knows about Enzo and his "gang" and assures Enzo that he'll be safe for a while. Enzo, on the other hand, merely hears the word "gang" and begins to throw a complete fit. "Gang? What gang? I ain't in no gang!" Gang, alliance, tomatoes, tomahtoes. You're in a gang Enzo and that's ok because I gave it the best name ever. People will be talking about Baddabing for years to come. Trust me. Lighten up.

It just so happens that Annie is also wise to the gang and bitch wants in. She approaches Enzo and says she wants to make an alliance with Hayden. She thinks she'll get along famously with Hayden. I think she sees strength in numbers. Baddabing could be a force to be reckoned with and Annie's no dummy. She's not making any friends with the women so she might as well try to hook up with the men. I can't say I blame her.

The night ends with Rachel and Brendon in the spa room. They're cuddling and canoodling and talking about who they should trust. These two nominees have vowed not to campaign against each other so instead they'll just flirt and completely misread the rest of the players. They're torn as to whether or not to trust Andrew. He might be Brendon's only ally, but Rachel is convinced that Andrew is just plain creepy. Another thing these two lovebirds have in common is that they're both Have Nots. Isn't that precious? Penniless and in poverty with a lover is always better than penniless and in poverty alone. It's like that Bon Jovi song 'Living On A Prayer'. Rachel cries in the night, Brendon whispers, "Baby it's ok... someday." Take my hand we'll make it I swear... oh ohhhh living on a prayerrrrr.

I won't end this tragic love story there. I'll end it here... with a kiss. It's a kiss filled with hope, yearning, the future... and tongue. Lots and lots of tongue. Thanks to my friends over at for the photo that I completely stole from them.

So, what did you bitches think of the first night? Any favorites so far? Who's really chapping your ass? Are you happy with the nominations? Who's creepier: Andrew or Brendon? Also, tell me who said the title of today's blog and you're a big weiner! Comment it out bitches and have a great day! LOTS more to come tomorrow. We've got our first full day and night ahead of us. Oy vey.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

The Bitchy Early Favorite!

*drum roll please*

This year's Early Favorite is (and it should be noted that I completely changed my mind at the last minute)... Annie! She's chill, not phony, laid back, seems to have a good head on her shoulders, and has a very smart approach to the game. She plans to not make plans. Good for her! Drives me nuts when people create this big dramatic scheme filled with all sorts of moronic lies that are completely unnecessary (i.e. Ragamuffin, Ass Licker). She's currently dating a lady, but has no problem messing with the men... because, let's face it, they're all easy to mess with.

Miss Annie has her B.A. in Theatre (so does another lovely lady *points to self*), finds herself getting riled up over things like hate and racism, and cites Renny as one of her most favorite BB players. She's an adventurous gal who likes to bungee jump and skydive in her spare time and she has no problem hopping a plane to New Zealand if the fancy strikes her. Sometimes her mouth gets her into trouble and I have a feeling she'll speak openly and honestly rather than suppressing her thoughts like some of the other players plan to do (i.e. Britney).

I like her. I like her a lot. Bitch better not piss me off.

Check out Annie's video for yourself here:

I was actually going to pick Rachel as my Early Favorite only because she looks like that wrestling chick from the Celebrity Apprentice, but she was so fucking phony and over the top in her video. It wasn't genuine and it kind of turned me off. I'll chalk it up to nerves and keep her on my back burner. I have a very detailed fantasy outlined where she karate chops Monet in the face and it would be too much trouble for me to put another person's face in place of Rachel's. I'm too lazy to ammend my Creative Visualization exercises.

Monday, July 5, 2010

How This Bitch Rolls

The bitches are moved in, an HOH has already been crowned, and from the looks of things everyone is getting along... so far.

OK bitches, here's how the Bitchy Big Brother Blog will work:

#1 Recaps will be made daily sometime between 11AM and 2PM EST. Once the season starts and I get into a routine my posts will go up at roughly the same time everyday. Factors like how late the HG's stay up, when this bitch *points to self* gets to sleep, and how much I've had to drink the night before will determine blog regularity. New posts are always announced and linked on both my Twitter and Facebook. Sometimes real life intervenes (it's been a hell of a year), but I'll try my very best to be consistent.

#2 I'm not nice and I curse a lot. If this bothers you, move along. You won't be missed.

#3 Comment Often: I love comments and hearing what you guys think. When I get a lot of responses, I'm more inclined to exert more effort and touch myself. Since this blog is quite successful I get a lot of assholes trying to put ads and their own blog links in my comments (seriously, it's a daily thing). For this reason only, I have to preview all comments. As long as you're not trying to sell Viagra or pimp your own blog, your comments will be immediately accepted and posted. Agree with me, disagree with me... I really don't care. Just please DO NOT post links for ads or self promotion.

#4 Spread the word! Word of mouth, tweets, and Facebook updates linking to my blog are how I get my readers. Last year was a huge success and I hope to surpass that by at least threefold this year. Please tell your friends, retweet my tweets, and help me get the word out. Your assistance is greatly appreciated.

#5 Donations are always welcome. It takes a lot of time to do what I do each summer. If you enjoy my posts, please click on my PayPal button and show this bitch some love.

#6 If you're a relative or friend of an HG, it would behoove you (and the HG) to contact me. It's best to get on my good side. I can make or break reputations. You don't want your HG to end up like Ass Licker, do you?

#7 If you have a blog or website and you'd like to do a link exchange with me, please send me an email at As long as you're original and do your own thing, I'm more than happy to post your link here. Any type of blog/website will be considered, not just BB.

#8 The Bitchy Network is an annex to the Bitchy Big Brother Blog. It's a place for fans of my blogs to hang out, chat with each other, and discuss a huge array of topics and TV shows. Members can make posts, start discussions, post gossip, speculate, etc. Join now. You know you wanna.

#9 Since BB fans are rabid obsessive beasts who spend hours trolling the internet for information, you can feel free to contact me with tips, gossip, theories, etc. I might just do a post about it and I always give credit (unless, of course, you wish to remain anonymous). It's a one woman show here and I can use all the help I can get.

#10 Most importantly, have fun! Don't take what I say too seriously. Obsessive political correctness really chaps my ass.