Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Inside The Big Brother 13 House

The highly anticipated photos of the Big Brother 13 house are here. Shall I walk you through them while providing unnecessary commentary? Yes, I shall! So, join me friends as we tour the rooms we'll be staring at numbly all summer long.

Photos courtesy of Matt Whitfield at YahooTV.

Photo #1: Bicycle Land

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times - more bicycles in the kitchen!

Photo #2: Where The Ants Will Live

I wonder what happened to the surfers who owned those surfboards. Are they still surfing? Have they been bricked in? More importantly, is that a stinking pool table I see out the window?! There's nothing more exciting than watching other people play pool.

Photo #3: The Crying Table

Let's talk about the obvious elephant in the room - 14 photos on the memory wall. I wonder how many of them will belong to former Houseguests...

Photo #4: The Tarot Card Room

That's the Death Card right there which leads me to believe that my Hunger Games fantasy has now become a reality - yes! I've always said that the Houseguests should be put to death when their ability to entertain has waned. It's the only way to prevent them from photographing their penises and doing porn. Consider it a public service.

Photo #5: The Toilet Room

A decidedly softer color palette than the rest of the house, this might be my favorite bathroom so far. I wonder what's in that brown jar in the upper left hand corner... Amber's tears? Lane's future children?

Photo #6: The Ugliest Bedroom On Earth

What in the sam hell sort of fuckery is this?

Photo #7: The Starburst Room

If Starburst had a mascot, he would live in this candy striped room from hell. The beds are bigger, but that floor looks like a slippery nightmare. If you spill a drink on that purple stripe, someone will surely break a neck. Awesome.

Photo #8: HOH Room

On the downside, the bed shrunk. On the upside, it looks like it would be difficult to construct a make-out fort.

Photo #9: HOH Bathroom

I'm digging the 1970's Ice Storm -esque wallpaper, but there's something very pervy about that owl. Let's put him and his elephant friend in a drawer and have a key party instead.

Dead surfers, fortune telling, inappropriately placed steely metals, ceramic wildlife... it's strange to say the least. I'm struggling to find a theme amongst it all. What do you guys think? Which room is your favorite?

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Watch Big Brother 13 on SuperPass!


  1. I like the bathroom. And if the lights don't turn off in that Starburst room, it is obviously the "Have Not" room. Fresh, retina-burning hell.

  2. They let short bus riders do the decorating didn't they? Thats the ugliest BB house yet. If I have to pick a favorite room, Id say the HOH bathroom.

  3. Just read in a Yahoo tv article that it is a "Venice Beach-themed house". Still dont like it.

  4. I have fond memories of the pool table by the back door. Britney playing a game by herself, watching Ragan dissect Vegas Red in the backyard, continuing her game in silence as Red stares at the back door.... Good times!

  5. I plain just don't like it! Even the HOH room is ugly. Can't wait for the HG's to see what they will be living in. And photo #6, what in the hell???? I would be having nightmares sleeping in that room. I did notice there are only 3 beds in that room instead of 4, and I guess the have not room is no more?


  6. Yeah. They totally half assed the house this year. What a wasted opportunity. I wanted to see everything done in reds and blacks, everything in 13s, broken mirrors, cracked floors, ladders over doorways, etc... everything unlucky and superstitious you can think of. Instead we got a half assed breach theme. Again. Shocker.

    The only room I really like is the former cabana room, and even that kinda sucks, considering it'll encourage more napping. Oh, and the new bed setup in the HOH is kinda cool.

    Btw.... aren't there always 14 frames on the memory wall? And the middle one just has the BB logo?

  7. One thing I can't stand the MOST is when people beg for things and are very impatient to see things and then once they see it they complain.. That makes no sense to me at all. Overall the house looks fine.. My favorite room is the ice cream room and the fortune teller room.. I hope there are 14 houseguests this season, the more people the better but I dont think there will be 14 houseguest because this is bb13 and 13 is a "unlucky" number so, why wouldn't there be 13 houseguests?

  8. Barefoot Drunk, that makes perfect sense. I completely forgot about the logo!

  9. This just reminds me of the first time a 12 year old kid gets a Sims game and makes a house.

    God I can't believe I have to look at this all summer.

  10. But there are 14 plates,forks,napkins set up on the table

  11. Oh, and #6... The beds are kindof cool... I'm hoping to see Tyrion Lannister occupying the middle one. Why else would it be so short? But they should have let whoever started peeling that shit off the walls finish. It looks crazy.

  12. Good point Anon @1:10. Suck on that Barefoot Drunk.

  13. I was just making an observation about the memory wall. I hope there are 14. So you suck on THAT.

  14. If we don't get to see AT LEAST one drunken bicycle race/demolition derby/jousting using pool cues type thing...I will be all sad and shit....

    The house looks ok I guess. What kind of BB would it be if the decor wasn't somewhat fkd up somewhere?

    The Starburst room(or is it the Skittles room?...taste the rainbow bitches!) makes my eyes hurt and gives me this odd feeling of wanting to go buy candy.

  15. They didnt show us the Living Room...i wonder how they changed it?....i betcha it will tell us the Theme of the season.... :-)