Thursday, June 30, 2011

Cassi: Hosebeast Taker Downer

Next up is Cassi Colvin. She's a 26 year old model from Nashville and will tell you straight up, with no problem at all, that she's a recruit. She's never seen Big Brother before, but after having watched a few seasons she was immediately sucked into the black hole that I'm currently flailing around in. It's a lot like trying to swim through a vat of molasses. Your hair sticks to your eyeballs and, inevitably, your pants come off.

Her accent is thick, but I don't mind it so much. I like her confidence and poise. And, any opportunity for me to type things like, "Ahm jess lookin' ta hayevv a good tahm een tha howse an' meet sum new paypull" is always good fun. Now I know why Rooster Ralph (Survivor: Redemption Island) was put on this Earth - to train me for Big Brother 13.

Cassi is a beautiful girl - there's no doubting that - but she says that she doesn't care for judgmental people. Well, excuuuuuuse me! Judgmental people are what makes the world go round girlfriend. Judgmental people put those pennies in my PayPal account I'll have you know. When you're pretty, you're judged. Bitches get jealous, they key your car, they slip in insults when they want you to think they're complimenting you. That'll never change honeypie. Just get used to it and give the haters the finger.

When asked about the possibilty of a showmance, Cassi became a little tongue tied. She doesn't plan on having one - which is what they all say - but she also doesn't know what she's looking for in a man. Call me crazy (or just wishful), but I'm thinking "closeted lesbian". Oh please please, pretty please, let Cassi be gay. There's nothing I love more than a hot chick with zero interest in the douchebags hitting on her and who instead secretly lusts after the girl in the next bed. Lesbians are great fun and I want one on Big Brother dammit. We always get our token gay man, but we really need a fun sexy lesbian to mix things up. She's probably straight as an arrow, but I'll keep my fingers crossed for a late night coming out of the closet moment.

Cassi doesn't give us many clues about her strategy and I'm ok with that. It's always so silly to me when people overplan and plot elaborate lies before even knowing who they're playing with or what the twist is. She doesn't strike me as a windowlicker and I think she'll pick up her own strategy fairly quickly once the game starts. There's not much for me to dislike Cassie for yet. Her favorite word is "shit" and she seems comfortable in front of the camera. I'm also not getting a famewhore vibe at all. Then again, I completely misjudged Rachel last year and will never live that down so, who knows?

There is, however, a potential for boredom here. I can't tell if she'll be evil and crafty in the house or if she'll float her way through the game with nonconfrontation. It's going to be a waiting game with Cassi, but upon first impressions, she doesn't bug me... yet.

Let's watch her CBS video:

So, what do you guys think of Miss Cassi? Are we sensing any bitch potential here? How do you think she'll get along with the returning Houseguests? I don't know about you, but I think Cassi is my ticket to a certain rancid hosebeast being taken down a few notches. Comment it out bitches and let me know if we're on the same wavelength.

Don't forget to get your Live Feeds! This season just got a hell of a lot more interesting.

Watch Big Brother 13 on SuperPass!


  1. I like her...she is a Tennessean so of course I like her. I think she has potential...I think we will have to see her with the other house guests first to see for sure though. As of right now all my hope is on this one girl..the others so far just seem blah to me. I guess for sure we will have to see them all interact first before we know anything positive.

    Welcome back to the blogging world Bitch!

  2. I'm getting the strong silent type from her. Like she won't put up with your bullshit, but she won't have a screaming match or cat fight with you either.

    I was getting a little worried about their casting choices, but like you said "she doesn't bug me"...which is really what it comes down to when you spend the whole summer watching them.

    *crosses fingers for closeted lesbian* (When is this show going to realize how much of a drama gold mine lesbian drama is?)

  3. I'm on the fence about Cassi. She does seem to have potential to make good TV....*crosses my eyes hoping for the lesbian drama*

  4. I forsee her transforming into a lampshade or a pillow. You always fall for the pretty ones Lala! She could be interesting though. I bet when she is pissed off she is spectacular.

  5. Let's see if I can some up my thoughts on her in one word:


  6. I'm with Prettyplainjo on this one. She is gonna lay low and get booted early. Her personality will ruffle those that wonder what her deal is. Reminds me of Kristen. I like her though.

  7. I believe that Cassie is going to be cool and "together" sort of what Jenelle was like. America loved Jenelle and I have a feeling that Cassie is going to be a close second.

  8. lovethebitchynessJuly 2, 2011 at 10:40 PM

    I've been watching these in reverse order, from newest to oldest. So far, Lala, you have hit the nail on the head. I like this girl a lot and hope she makes it to the end, but she does have a kind of Kristen-like-quality which may sink her.

  9. She is from Texas, lives in Nashville and her Twitter account says NYC. Well at least she looks good in a bikini. She may be lying in her interviews but I hope she goes farther than the other 7 do

  10. She IS from Allen Texas, has lived in NYC for a few years working with Wilhelmina and Trump model management, and loves Nashville. I've found videos for Jake Owen (Tell Me) and Kenny Chesney's live tour for "Somewhere With You". She is very different from most girls who look like her. I did some research. I'm just sayin'.

  11. Her accent /voice rapes my ear drums everytime she opens her mouth.So I hope you guys are right about the whole " silent type " thing. Not bad on the eyes. I always appreciate nip slips..extra ;-)