Thursday, June 30, 2011

Porsche: Nothin' Special

Porsche Briggs is a 23 year old cocktail waitress from Florida and is, for some reason, named after a car. I can't take her seriously when all I'm wondering is "Did her parents name her that? Is she considering a career in porn?" I'm going to be really honest here, I'm watching her video and hoping that those ruffles on her shirt come to life and strangle her. I'd like little tiny yellowing claws to jut out of that blouse and pierce her jugular. Just a nick. That's all I need. Just one really quick swipe and then she'll be out of my life forever.

Look, I don't care who she's friends with or what movie star she's dated, I don't like her. Maybe it's because she's following the scrumptious Lawon or maybe it's because she seems really really fucking boring. If you say Daniele Donato is your favorite Houseguest, I simply have to assume you're just not very bright. Daniele Donato was a whiny little snot who gave us nothing but booty shorts and Uggs.

It's not all a lost cause for Miss Chevrolet though. She could team up with some of the people I'm rooting for or possibly get rid of some of the unsavory returning characters I hate. That would win her some points with me, but on first impressions - eh. I'm not feeling it at all. Nothing sparkles here. Nothing stands out. She's cute, but that's not enough.

I kind of want to cruise (car joke intended) through this one and move on:

What do you guys think? Does anything about her personality seem exciting? She could get into some fights I suppose. I guess I can see that happening. I just can't shake that "insufferable" vibe I'm getting from her. Fingers crossed she doesn't hook up with Lawon. Comment it out and let me know what you think.

No more lagging. Just get the feeds already dammit!

Watch Big Brother 13 on SuperPass!


  1. I see her as an Edsel....

  2. She seems to be everything she described hating...

  3. First off I never trust someone who was named after a car..there is just something so wrong about it so that is strike one with me.

    Second, the ruffles...will those ruffles become the next ugly sandals that was worn every other day by Annie last season? I hate strike two for Pinto here!

    Third, her face is unless she sacrifices someone the first night in that evil looking room she is not on my list of winners. :)

  4. but she is such a "beautiful girl."

  5. Don't like the name, don't like the ruffles, but I luv DaniD ....

  6. Wow. I just watched her video on Superpass. How many times did she refer to herself as pretty and/or beautiful? I'm all for self-confidence and looking in the mirror and thinking "Damn, I look good today", but when you sit and constantly reassure yourself that you are pretty, well, you pretty much suck at life.

  7. lmaoo i dont like her as i have said on my site lol Shes a Star Whore lol