Thursday, July 5, 2012

Danielle: Upward Infection?

(I tried to get a photo of her smiling, but this bitch talks incessantly and with her eyes closed. This was the best I could do.)

Next up is a 23 year old nurse from Tuscaloosa, Alabama named Danielle Murphree. Danielle describes herself as "loving, outgoing and passionate." If she's not dancing fancy free and footloose to her favorite Taylor Swift tune, then she's fiercely scrapbooking. Glue stick in hand she prints photo after photo of Jordan off of the computer. Then gingerly, with sticky fingers, she places them lovingly onto chintz patterned card stock because Jordan is her all time favorite Houseguest ever! *bites lip with fangs* She finishes her creation with puffy stickers and childlike scrawl that reads SUTHERN GIRLZ 4 LIFE! Simply precious. Wide eyed, bubblegum, pigtails precious. *Click Click* Oh good, my rifle still works. Just checking.
Danielle is terrified of two things: snakes and not finding her one true love. Many a full mooned night she can be found staring up into the night sky, chin in hands, sighing. Just sighing. Will I ever find him? she wonders. I know! I'll call up Ashley and see if she has a Prince Charming dream board I can borrow for my scrapbook!

Alright, let's see if she's as awful as I imagine. Please to enjoy:

She does that thing? That going up at the end of sentences and making statements a question, thing? It makes my blood boil? If a mountain lion wandered onto the CBS lot and ate her question marks and her face, I'd be happy? If that council in England that decides all of the grammar laws of the land suddenly up and outlawed question marks, I wouldn't complain? Who needs question marks anyway? Do you? I could totally give them up and not look back? Just as soon as I stop watching this video? Because, you know, I'm kind of on a roll right now? And in the interest of continuity I can't quite stop yet? Until this paragraph is done? Like, right now?

*sigh* Exhausting. Simply exhausting.

*pushes play again*

She's poised and doesn't stare at the light bulbs or the carpet fibers with wide eyed excitement like Ashley does, but I read that thing about Jordan and I just can't shake it. You know me, unlike Teresa Giudice, I'm a grudge holder. I hold on like a starving tick and won't fall off until you burn my head with a match. I can definitely appreciate her dislike of Rachel, but I get the impression that she might be all talk and no action. Some of what she's saying sounds decent, but a lot of it is contradictory.

She says she won't play too hard too fast, but wouldn't that be a pisser if she did? What do you guys think of Danielle? Does the question asking thing make you claw at your arms and legs like it does me?

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  1. She talks...a lot. I foresee many late night monologues. I don't have hatred for her, but we'll see. Maybe she won't be all talk and surprise us.

  2. As of now this is my biggest "on the fence." I feel like she is the love child of Rachel and Jordan. She seems smart, but I feel like America is going to love her in a way that will make me hate her. She said a lot of things that interested me, but still there's something about her I think I might hate. So on the fence.

  3. shes goofy looking like Ashley. She has sleepy eyes and a smile that looks like the cheshire cat.I dont like annoying southern chicks.

  4. Now that I think about her interview was over 18minutes and everyone else's is around the 13minute mark.

  5. Ugh...I shouldn't have read the blurb under the video before I watched, because now all I can notice is that damn question thing. If you have to ask everyone of your answers there is something not quite right going on.

    Oh she doesn't like Rachel...I think she just won brownie points from me. Damn. Am I that easy?

    Honestly, we can theorize all we want but the house CHANGES brings out certain traits...I think she'll definitely show her true colors quickly. I dunno. I just don't know yet.

  6. Puleeeeeeeese, gag me with a spoonful of possum stew??

  7. She hates Rachel. A lot. So chick's alright with me!

  8. she said "who doesnt want to win a million dollars?" Does she know what show she is on?

  9. her joker smile creeps me out !!!

  10. I have some hope for her. At first I thought she was another Ashley, but Danielle seems a little feistier.

    Could prove interesting that she hates Rachel, because my theory is that Rachel has a great chance at returning as one of the mentors.

    Would it throw her game off though, turning her into one of the catty girls she supposedly dislikes?

    I could like her, but worried that too much talking early could get her in trouble a la Annie (sabateur) from BB12.

  11. I couldn't stop laughing from the question marks. It really does fall into the same disastrous speech patterns as "like", "you know" and "so and so and I" (for some reason no one on television [scripted & reality] knows when to say "so and so and me".

    Just hysterical, Colette.

  12. I'm not sure what to say, except "let the cringing begin." As fellow southerner, who grew up less than three hours' drive away from Tuscaloosa, I'm sure that once this woman gets to her "game play," I'll be decrying my southern roots and learning to speak with a Boston accent. Or British. I always love when other southern states are represented, and gave no end of teasing to my friends from Charlotte when Big Red Rachel repeatedly humiliated herself and, by extension (pun totally intended), her home state. Can't wait to see the shame this woman will bring to my already-beleaguered Alabama. And, ROLL TIDE, bitches.

  13. AA - "so and so and I" can be correct... it all depends on the context. But I hear you, grammar is one of the things that separates man from beast, or, rather, real women from other people who don't speak properly. So, maybe you, Collette and I should go dip our nipples in some glitter and get loaded. Even if you're a dude (I can't tell from the name).