Monday, July 2, 2012

The Tokyo Poop Tour

 (Julie Chen on Media Day)

Konnichiwa Bitches! After a trying weekend of sweltering heat and no power (!), I'm happy to be back amongst the land of the living where I'll never run out of ice cubes for my gin and am eager to share the official house photos of the Big Brother 14 house. The theme, as suspected, is "Tokyo Pop" which, of course, means I'm calling it "Tokyo Poop." Let us take a little tour, shall we?

First up, join me as we venture into the Kitchen/Dining area for an arresting assault on the eyes. White Verner Panton S Chairs encircle the dining table (decidedly more Danish than Japanese and most definitely knock offs) as a drab pixel pattern marks the floor. The pixel motif continues upwards in a blur and I'm sure someone somewhere thought they were being clever, but it's all just so blah. The definition of "pop" is to sparkle, to surprise, to catch off guard. Instead, I feel like I'm in the Arts & Crafts room at Bellevue or something. Not like I've ever been in the Arts & Crafts room at Bellevue. But if I were in the Arts & Crafts room at Bellevue, it would definitely have white plastic chairs as opposed to complicated metal ones I could take apart and beat an orderly upside the head with.

Moving on, we find green plastic chopsticks hanging out in water glasses because, you know, the Japanese daintily drink their water one drop at a time. Looking to the back wall, white mod capsules hold the dishes and stemware. By the way, what's up with all the white? White walls, white chairs, white cups... all the white makes the house look incredibly institutional.

The Lounge, however, is great. Bright, colorful, sleek yet quirky... wait a tic, what's that blasted white table doing there?! If we ditch the table, the room works. Even the cafeteria fluorescents reflect an interesting golden hue that warms the area.

Making our way into the bathroom, we find the booby showers - showers designed to play the boob show. I know many a male BB blogger who is getting a chubby right this very second.

Around the corner from the bathroom we find the Speaker Room - a ghastly bedroom with dollar store sheets and thin foam pallets. The muted purples and grays scream, "I will suck the life out of you!" Aww poor Houseguests. *giggles*

The Shoe Room is equally disturbing with it's high school bathroom floors and stinky shoe wall.

The HOH Room, however, isn't all that bad. In fact, it's warm, lush, and inviting with a tinge of Mountain Lodge thrown in. The couch alone is reason enough to want to hang out and plead my case. "The reason you should keep me in the house is because I'm sitting here talking to you with glitter encrusted nipples, dumb ass." Although, is that a super tiny bed or what?

Making our way outside, we find the pool and a freshly painted blue wall. Nothing too exciting leaps out and the couch area has been much better in past seasons. For a wild and technicolor theme, I'm kind of surprised by how non Technicolor the house and furnishings are. It's like someone pressed a giant mute button, got inspired, and ran with it.

Finally, we end the tour at the Memory Wall which sparked the rumor about 14 newbies. However, I have been told that there will be 16 newbies. CBS is famous for switching things up at the last minute so don't be surprised if whom you expected to see in the house isn't in the house and whom you didn't expect to see is in the house. More HG's are in sequester right now than are needed. Not all will make it in. Let's just collectively hope CBS chooses the ones who will bring drama not whispers. Infernal hard to hear whispers.

EDIT: I completely forgot to mention the room that was off limits during Media Day! And I'm not talking about the Have Not room. 

And that's it! That's Tokyo Poop. You can check out a SuperPass Video Tour of the house and catch the premiere episodes of Rumor Control featuring whisperer Daniele Donato and nails on a chalkboard Rachel Reilly today at 6pm EST. Click the link below before the Early Bird Special ends. Time is running out!

Watch Big Brother 14 on SuperPass!


  1. I like most of it. I agree, both bedrooms are awful, but I guess that's more incentive to make it to the HoH room.

    I'm just shocked they didn't go with some other variation of the beach/summer theme. Isn't that what they usually do? In fact, I picture them all sitting around a table in the spring, discussing what the theme will be, and Grodner kinda snorts out, "What do we usually do? Let's just do that."

    The house is nice to look at. I like looking at nicely decorated houses and rooms. But I'd really much rather know who's gonna be there and if I'm gonna have a lot of free time on my hands this summer as a result.

  2. I like it (sorry Im cheesy like that I like it every year ) first thought the hoh was too dark but looking at more shots its not as dark as first seen.

    The cabana room& speaker bedroom looks like maybe will see them sit up more lol(want hold breath on that 1)

    Now bring on the cast I honestly dont care whos there its how it all plays out to me I like to see alot of battle of wits(Drama)&stategy&funny people finger crossed


  3. I have to say, I think it's all very mehhhhhh for the most part- I do like the bathroom and the lounge, and the HOH room is alright but yeah, a little dark. The sneaker room is scary. I don't like the white chairs around the round table, nor the Memory Wall.

    Could Rachel Reilly die in a fire please?

  4. It really looks like a child's playhouse, not the ones the kids go in but the one to play with your dollies in. They fold up with a handle and have little plastic people too. The kitchen cabinets are something I've seen, ok played with when babysitting. I think my cousin's daughter had one very similar when she was younger, FisherPrice or some other toy maker. They never change it up, it's always a cheap look and a week into the show we don't even remember it is different than the season before, the same with the assholes playing.

  5. The BigBrother house looks like the set of some TV show on the Disney channel or Nick. I do have the same knock-off chairs thanks to IKEA.

  6. I guess it's fitting that you're calling it the 'Tokyo Poop Tour', as the dining room chairs look like toilets!

  7. Does anyone but Me think they should have demolished this house and built an all new set??? I don't care how many times you redecorate or theme it.. It'd still the same setup... BOOOOOORIIIING!