Friday, July 6, 2012

Wil: Flouncy Nipples

Today we meet 24 year old Wil Heuser from Louisville, KY. Wil is a Freelance Marketing Consultant who describes himself as loud, unique, and brash. He's not looking forward to sharing his personal space with other people, but he'll try to adapt and do the best he can. Until he learns to share, he'll make a chalk outline around his bed marking his space and their space. If you step into his space, the hot lava monster will get you and you're outta the game.

Wil's grand master flash plan is to go into the house playing the "nice guy". Once he's hypnotized everyone into thinking he's a delicate fairy sprite, then, and only then, will he cut their throats and drink their blood for breakfast. He'll slice them nose to nuts and bathe in their innards. He'll gnaw on gristle and howl at the full moon. And then he'll lick his own balls and want his tummy rubbed.

As far as past Houseguests go, Wil doesn't care for Evel Dick and sort of liked watching Rachel. Let's look at it this way, at least he didn't say Jeff or Jordan. At least he didn't say that! He won't leave home without his flat iron and has traveled the world many times over. Fame won't change who he is, but if the press bulbs flash his way, he'll take that opportunity to shed light on causes close to his heart.

Keeping in line with what we've heard many times before, Wil is scared of snakes. And bananas. Bananas. Because you never know when a banana will grab you in it's death grip and paralyze you with its venom.

If you haven't checked out Wil's YouTube PAGE yet, I suggest you take a gander or you might miss gems such as this:

Up until now I've only seen Wil in character form, but I'll tell you straight up that I'm really looking forward to checking out this interview video. I got the following text from a Survivor alum the other day - I actually sort of know Wil. You are going to LOVE him. He's the strangest person I've ever met - and I don't know about you, but that sounds promising!

Let's check it out together. Please to enjoy:

If there's one rule that I live by, it's that nipple shirts never go out of style. And since I can see his legs, I can only assume he's wearing hot pants. Gorge! Wil is quickly flouncing into my heart much like a fluffy petticoat on an easy Sunday morning. Flounce. Trounce. Bounce. Pounce.

Hearing him say, "Then I'm gonna stab some bitches!" tinkles the wind chimes of my heart. Followed by golden nuggets like, "Just because you wear sparkles doesn't mean you know jack shit about fashion." Is anyone else thinking that a dream team of Jenn, JoJo and Wil would be AWESOME? Our very own merry band of thieves. They'll be everything the Bro-gade wasn't. Namely... intelligent, witty, likable, charming, charismatic, etc.

I'm not expecting any over the top villain moves from Wil, but I like him as a person and he entertains me. That's all I ever want - to be entertained!

What do you guys think? Is Wil tickling your nether regions?

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  1. I like all his interviews the best However I remmber how much Lawon made me laugh in interviews last year&(still great guy tho).Im weary in pick in a early fave I think the vets last year sucked the life out of most of newbies I hope this year is different that the vets going in know the pot is best stirred.

    Great job on write ups of new cast who knew being bitchy can be done with some class(as to just down right vile smack talk)


  2. I love Wil strictly from the YouTube page- He won this black heart of stone with his god loves me, but he doesn't love you Video. I hope he goes all the way!! He is 100% rainbows and gummi bears.
    I hope I don't regret my I heart Wil tattoo.

  3. He comes across very sincere and engaging in the interview.I'm Jealous that his locks are more shiny & luscious than mine :::pouts::::: I think his YouTube videos suck,but I'm sure he'll bring much needed comic relief to the house.The fact that he admired Cassie scores Brownie points from me.

  4. Um he was in Louisville for the Derby. You know he wore a fabulous hat - like the fabulous cuff he has on in his interview. AND he uses the future subjunctive case properly. Love him. I have a feeling Wil is my boo. And I will forgive him for the blackface. (Y'all. Just say no to blackface.)

    I would love a Jenn - Jojo - Wil alliance.

  5. I cant wait to see his routine, he will hose them all. Imagine if he aligns with Hantz? That's my boy! (dont he gots purty hair?)

  6. I think I love him Colette!
    So, you kinda know him?? YAY! Yes, we JUST want to be ENTERTAINED!!!!!!!!!!

    1. No, I don't know him. The Survivor Alum knows him.

  7. Not really my kind of guy, but he could be alright.

    He won't be shy of the cameras. Probably the biggest diva, at least among the guys.

  8. I really liked this guy from interviews now Im in luv with him Speedos!! omg I so hope he dont let me down & if he is funny& a good player I hope he goes far! please!

    BB needs so desperately to have some new players who stand out & knock theses power couples of the bb throne Im so done & over it please! Let this season bring us new bb star(well star in reality world I mean)

  9. OMG!!!! LUV Wil! Thank you Lala for posting the link to the Wil Show! Did you check out the Barbara Walters clip? Hilarious with a gin kick at the end! I would love a secret alliance with Ian, Willie and Wil... no one would see it coming!

  10. He could be the next new D-list "Star!!" I would pay good money to see him slap a bitch. Like.

    And I, too, am behind a 3 way alliance with Jenn, JoJo, and Wil.

    -- Leigh