One girl's twistedly fantastic interpretation of what the hell is really going on inside the Celebrity Big Brother house.
Friday, August 16, 2013
Bitter Quitter
Billy Ocean once said, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going." Not true, Mr. Ocean. Not true! When the going gets tough, the tough go home. They pack up their strapless terry cloth onesie rompers and their caterpillar eyelashes and they hightail it off the CBS backlot. When you have a perfect little treasure waiting for you back at home with one of your former clients (husband) and more CBS shows to assault in the future, you throw your hnmm mnmm's into a sack and hitchhike to the nearest five star hotel. And once your wedges are happily clip clopping across the marble foyer, you can settle into your penthouse suite, pour yourself a glass of champagne and cheerfully tell the chamber maids to stop flattering themselves. What a relief! Maybe this summer can be saved after all. Let's recap, shall we?
After a semi ho-hum week where a waddler couldn't decide what personality she was going to try on, the live feeds turned on with that characteristic Thursday night drama and we all sighed in relief. Aryan has once again won HOH and Amanda is once again disappointed in herself. As I'm sure you know, McCrae threw his round to Amanda so she could once and for all win HOH and get that letter from her family. The problem arose when Amanda found herself in the final two with that challenge beast, Aryan. Aryan ended up with another victory under her belt and McCrae ended up with a giant case of the sads.
In the cockpit we find Amanda and McCrae pouting about the competition. McCrae mumbles that he could have easily won. Amanda sighs and openly admits that she sucks under pressure. She asks McCrae if it looked like she threw the comp to Aryan. McCrae tells her that he doesn't know, but he knew the answer to that final question right away. You can visibly see that McCrae regrets throwing his round to Amanda. And now, strangely, he is worried that Aryan will put him on the block. He tells Amanda that he doesn't trust Aryan which immediately pisses off Amanda. Amanda has said day in and day out that as long as 3AM (Amanda, Aryan, Andy, McCrae) sticks together, they will make it to the final four. So, hearing that her own boyfriend is someone who doubts the four, angers Amanda.
McCrae then finally verbalizes that, yes, he did indeed throw his round in the HOH to Amanda. Amanda replies heatedly, "I had no idea that's what you were doing!" She continues and says again how much she sucks at comps. Instead of consoling her, McCrae remains quiet and stuck in his own thoughts. Amanda begins to cry and says, "I'm sorry you got stuck with someone who sucks at the game!" She then storms out of the room and tells McCrae that he's rubbing it in her face that she sucks at comps.
Amanda then heads to the Storage Room to cry behind the recycling bin. You laughed and, yes, I laughed too. I'm a hardcore Amanda fan, but even I can see the humor of a garbage can sniffling.
Back in the cockpit, Elvira (Elissa) enters. She says to McCrae, "Hnmm mnmm, I think I'm going to be put up." McCrae nods and says, "Me too." OK, hang on a sec, what the hell is McCrae talking about?! He has no reason whatsoever to doubt Aryan's loyalty to 3AM. I can see why Amanda was so pissed off at him. Instead of saying an encouraging word, he's busy crafting weirdo nonsensical game scenarios in his shaggy head.
Meanwhile, in one of the bedrooms, VaGina (GinaMarie) and Aryan are packing up Aryan's clothes for her HOH week, but something is amiss. Aryan is angry - oh so very angry. She is throwing her off the shoulder tops on the bed and violently folding her daisy duke's with an uncharacteristic fervor. It turns out that during the filming of the CBS broadcast, Elvira refused to sit on the same couch as VaGina and Aryan. She called them "disgusting" and said that they were beneath her. VaGina asks Aryan if she thinks Elvira said the comment because VaGina doesn't have any money. Aryan tells her, "No, it's because we're not P.C."
*marching band plays outside the bedroom door* Rah, rah, rah! 2-4-6-8 Who do we appreciate? Aryan! Aryan! Yayyyyy Aryan! Oh Christ, it's Hell-en (Helen). She's dressed like a figure skater and ready to give her weekly congratulatory cheer to the new HOH. And, looking at my watch, she's right on time. You see, this is a weekly ritual for Hell-en. Right after the feeds turn back on, she grabs her pom-pom's and attacks the new HOH with compliments and high kicks. After she completes her 28th toe-touch, Hell-en shouts to Aryan, "Turn your frown upside down! You're so bright! You amaze me!" Aryan glares at Hell-en out of the corner of her eye and mumbles a thank you.
Amanda, who is now done crying to the trash bin, enters the bedroom. Aryan tells her that Elvira legitimately hurt her with her comments during the show. Aryan also wants to know why Julie keeps asking her questions about confrontations in the house. She wonders if she's being portrayed as the bitch who confronts people. Amanda tells Aryan that the Elvira drama makes her nominations super easy this week. Aryan replies, "Yeah it does!" (YES!)
Amanda then happily and jokingly bitches about how bad she is at competitions. She seems to be over her sadness and back to being fun and self-deprecating. She laments how it's especially bad since that HOH in particular was probably designed for her to win since it was a Broadway theme. She tells Aryan that her brain just doesn't work well under pressure. She's trying to put on a brave face, but it doesn't work. Amanda starts to cry again when she talks about how much she wants to see pictures of her family - especially her nieces and nephew (FYI, her black Autistic nephew). Amanda calls herself a baby for crying so much over this, but it makes her sad knowing she'll leave the house without winning anything. Aryan tells her that she may not be good at competitions, but she's the mastermind of the entire house. (TRUE!)
Back in the cockpit, Hell-en is telling Elvira and Spencer that in her real life she is good at everything she does, but for some reason she's not very good at Big Brother competitions. Elvira then whines about having a bad day and not being able to see a photo of her perfect little treasure son. She sighs that now she's stuck with these wretched people until September. She's going to miss PLT's (Perfect Little Treasure) first day of 3rd grade. Spencer then kisses Elvira's ass and tells her what a good mom she is. Elvira replies, "Hnmm mnmm" and Spencer leaves. Elvira then turns to Hell-en and tells her she is worried that Aryan will nominate her this week. Hell-en assures her that Aryan won't. (HA!)
Over in the Have-Not Room, we find Amanda and McCrae discussing Aryan. Amanda is worried that Aryan will win the entire game now. Amanda says that Aryan is doing all the moves that Amanda concocted for her plus she's winning competitions. McCrae, still deep in his own thoughts, ignores Amanda and says that he is worried about his safety this week. He wonders if everyone in the house knew her threw that competition. Amanda tells him that the others won't care. McCrae says they will.
Amanda quickly turns the conversation to Aryan's HOH. She says she wants Aryan to put up Hell-en and Elvira, but the target will be Hell-en. Amanda thinks that maybe it's ok that Elvira saw her crying earlier. Maybe that will make Elvira think that Amanda isn't working with Aryan after all.
The night continues with dinner and Aryan getting her HOH room. Up in the HOH the consensus amongst 3AM, VaGina and Spencer is that Hell-en and Elvira are going on the block. Aryan thinks the target is Elvira, but Amanda, McCrae and Spencer are really targeting Hell-en.
Meanwhile, Hell-en and Elvira are in the Storage Room discussing Aryan. Hell-en comments about how good Aryan is at competitions. Elvira sneers that it's because Aryan takes Adderall. Hell-en quickly tells Elvira to stop staying that because it upsets Aryan and she might nominate Elvira if she hears it. Elvira tells Hell-en that she's probably going on the block anyways. Hell-en then does some cartwheels and tells Elvira not to get down in the dumps.
Later, Hell-en goes up to the HOH to do some Elvira damage control. She tells Aryan she knows that Elvira's comments hurt her, but Elvira was simply having a bad day. When she called Aryan disgusting it was because Elvira was nervous about the competition. *eyeroll* Aryan doesn't buy it for one second and can't figure out what she did to piss off Elvira again. They've been cordial to each other for about 2 weeks now. Hell-en quickly tries to apologize for Elvira, but Aryan whines that she can't believe how rude Elvira is especially after she's kept her safe all these weeks.
Hell-en, armed with information, leaves the HOH and runs to tell Elvira that she's probably going up for nomination. Elvira purses her ridiculous lips and says that if she gets sent to Jury, she'll quit and go home instead because that's what good sports do! They quit. They don't get their way so they run back home to Sugar Daddy.
Hell-en, armed with even newer information, runs back up to the HOH and begins to cry. She tells the room that after all this time of protecting Elvira, Elvira says she'll quit the game if she gets evicted. Instead of feeling sympathy for Hell-en's tears, the room sits in stony silence. Not getting the reaction she's wanting, Hell-en begins to cry even harder. She tells them that Elvira was her only vote in the Jury to win and now she's going to quit. Waaah waah. Again, her tears are met with silence.
Later, when Hell-en finally leaves, the HOH room is PISSED. Amanda can't believe that Elvira would quit the game when so many of them had to fight so hard just to get on the show. McCrae is equally angry saying it's a an insult to them all. Looking on the bright side of things, Amanda says that if Elvira quits, she can't win the $25,000 Fan Favorite. She says someone who actually wants to be there deserves it over Elvira.
So, with nominations today, look for Hell-en and Elvira to go on the block. Hell-en will feign sympathy for Elvira all the while throwing her under the bus. Aryan and VaGina think the real target is Elvira so if they catch wind that Hell-en is who the house is planning on voting out, there could be some fireworks. We'll just have to wait and see.
So, what did you think of last night's show? Will Elvira turn psycho again after nominations? How many tears will Hell-en cry today? Comment it out bitches and have a great day!
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I loved this part "They don't get their way so they run back home to Sugar Daddy." I almost spit out my coffee when reading it because I started laughing!
ReplyDeleteI make my fiancé watch BB with me and often read Lala's blogs to him and we giggle away...he & I also were giggling about Lala's "...sugar daddy..." comment. Absolutely and positively for sure 100% agree with you, Alicyn!
DeleteSome thoughts:
I don't believe Amanda is the brains behind everything. At all! Plus, I don't love nor do I hate anyone in the game (I can't believe the hatred and viciousness that viewers actually spew about people they don't know who they perceive to be "bad seeds"....or that this is the worst season ever....or that these HG's are bad casting choices....and/or especially if they say they 'hate' so-and-so-----it's a GAME people! An unofficial "scripted" game show, geez!).
I've said over & over I want and also think that one of this season's F2 will be McCrae. It's who he takes with him that has me stumped. Andy or Amanda? I am not sure he can win against Amanda, and who knows if their 'love' and 'marriage' is real? I believe he would win up against Andy, though. My dream F2? McCrae & Andy, really only because I don't want Amanda to win (she just ran around doing dirty work for McCrae anyway; she can't win anything). The other HG's? They simply chose to not cause waves and always vote with the house, except our little spitfire.....,
Aaryn! She is a huge competitor, and 3AM may be underestimating her prowess, her love of the game, and her sheer determination to win: she's smart, good at all kinds of comps, has a F4 deal with 3AM, has won back everyone's trust (who she is aligned with), has LOTS of determination, and somehow clawed her way back to the top. McCrae better ALWAYS have that in the back of his mind. He's really got to watch her/read her correctly....this alliance COULD backfire on him........BIG time.
And, finally, the "twist". COME ON! Bringing back a juror?! None of them are exciting game players at all! Maybe Judd....but if he had a better social game he would have heard about the "house's" paranoia and not have been so blindsighted. PLUS, he cuddled/messed around with/flirted/kissed (whatEVER) he was doing with 2 chicks!! Aaryn & Jessie!! Not too smart and poor form in the BB house; girls talk, bro, HELLO?! (lolol) Maybe the HG's are all relatives of past BB players? Who the heck knows?!
•Boring? Worst BB ever?? NOPE.
•Interesting? (as always; this show is the world's largest sociology experiment.....it's a GAME....)
•The most hateful/boring cast? Not so much. The social dynamics that have gone on this season are unparalleled.....Aaryn & GM fired....someone @ Spencer's work @ the RR (choo choo!) actually called the cops who searched his home & computer because of a sick joke he told??
~~~~~GET OVER IT. It is a TV show. Everyone employed by CBS & BB are all making a TON more $$ because of things the HG's said. Sooooooo, isn't a TV show (scripted or unscripted) that has been on every summer for 15 years ($pon$or$ galore, folks) NATURALLY going to look for different kinds of 'characters' to be the 'contestants' and then plan to cause conflict for more viewers? More viewers = more $ = success.
Last but not least....sorry so long!! Come BACK, ZingBot!!!!!!!! I can hear it now...."Aaryn...you better win this game; you won't have any $$ outside the house if you don't win! ZING!!" lol
.......OR, "Amanda better get out of bed & start working out or you'll NEVER win! ZING!" Oh I can only imagine!!!!!!!!!!
Great post love this blog. Elvira is a spoiled housewife. While I would love to see a dramatic wedge-stomping exit if she quits, I have a feeling CBS will provide financial incentive to stay. So an equally great outcome for me would be for Hell-en to cartwheel out. Anyone else hate the "snarky" way she casts her eviction votes? Collette you rock!
ReplyDeleteThat may be why she threatening to quit. She probably knows CBS would kick in some cash to get her to stay.
DeleteAaryn is well aware that Helen is the target & is fine with it. She's separating game from personal which Elissa is incapable of. Gina Marie is the only only outside of Helen & Elissa that currently doesn't know Helen is the target
ReplyDeleteAnd fuck Elissa for being so god damned spoiled & not appreciating anything about the game. She clearly doesn't want to be there so nobody would complain if she did leave. I wish both Helen & Elissa could go this week
Amanda's control of this game right now is masterful. She has to win if she finds a way to the Final 2. I think she could easily make Final 5 or Final 4, but getting further then that will be tough when the final stage of the game relies so much on competitions
As always, your blog has both entertained and informed. I'm a little perturbed that you haven't commented on the prospect of a juror returning to the house next week, but maybe you're saving your judgment for after nominations... If Helen is voted out, what are the odds that she'll win her way back in next Thursday? Compared to Jessie, J-U-DD, and Candice, I'd say she's a shoo-in, unless the competition involves finishing a pack of cigarettes in under ninety seconds.
ReplyDeleteAryan must be so bored, having to converse with dimwits day in and and day out. I'd suggest that she hang out with Spencer more often in an attempt to have a semi-intelligent conversation, but he'd most likely bring up fingering girls (ick, ick, ick) for the zillionth time, so...perhaps no. While it's true that Amanda is the mastermind of the game right now, she's also a bully who, yes, really sucks at competitions. I honestly thought all the decent competitors had come together before the competition to decide to throw her a bone, which is the only reason I can imagine that she and her hubby weren't put up against each other right away. When Aryan beat her, I was sure that I'd missed something. How is it that Amanda hasn't managed to force her minions to throw her an HOH yet?
If Elvira wins America's vote at the end, there should be riots. She's done NOTHING this entire season except stretch, talk casually about how rich she is (TWENTY-TWO diamonds on her husband's wedding band?!), whine, pout, criticize, and...actually, that's it. I'd almost like her to walk at this point, but I somehow think that she *cough* production *cough* will change her mind before that happens.
Ugh! Can't stand the elitist bitch Elissa! If she's voted "America's fav" I'm going to scream! She has done nothing in the house. I love my TX girl Aaryn and my fav line from her, "BB airlines..time to go bitch!" BUHBYE!
ReplyDeleteGreat blog Ms Collette! Hilarious as usual.
I honestly hope she does walk. I also hope with that walk it cancels any 'CBS contract' she is going on about. I swear I better not see her on Amazing Race.
ReplyDelete@ Lala, it is inconceivable that people have so much personal hatred towards the current BB HG's, much less towards us as devoted BB fans. :(
DeleteInconceivable. Kids who are bullies grow up to raise their own little bullies. What a shame. Everyone's entitled to an opinion; it's a free country. Glad you go about your business & don't give the "strangers" any thought whatsoever. :)
Keep up the great work!
"Hell-en"? Really? That's the best you could come up with? I don't expect much wit from an Amanda supporter. I don't know why you brought up the fact that she has a Black autistic nephew. Is that supposed to excuse for insensitive "retarded" remarks or her racial remarks? It doesn't--she is scum and anyone who supports her is also scum.
ReplyDeleteAgree 100%! I don't get how ppl would want "a mastermind" like DEmanda to win anything when she is such a scumbag! Master mind or not she doesn't deserve a penny! And Elissa was just sad over missing her son's first day of school, what the hell is wrong with that. She said she was leaving out of her disappoint from not winning HOH and her son she won't leave! Bully is a good word for Amanda! And Hell is something else too throwing Elissa under the bus hope that back fires on her! And I wouldn't want to sit by some of those racist either and I am far from being a snot!
DeleteI like how people who talk shit about houseguests for calling people names or "bullying" turn around and do the same thing. Every fucking year. All the way back to the "Nerd Herd". "Oh, I hate those lazy, fat, whore bitches because they just sit up in their room and talk shit about everyone all day." At least they have an excuse. they are stuck in a house with no outside input. What the hell excuse to feed viewers have?
DeleteAgree 100% as well. Gimme a break with her 'black, autistic nephew' BS. If it were true, she'd be a heck of a lot more sympathetic to the shit that she spews and how she speaks to a bi-racial castmate. I couldn't believe it when she was making fun of Candice. Do you know how hard it is to be an African American child & get adopted? Let alone a bi-racial child? So, for her to make fun of Candice without thinking about what's in her own family is just fucking awful.
DeleteI have a biting, dark sense of humor, too. But there are things I just wouldn't say or find funny. And good for Elissa for not wanting to be near such scum.
Amanda's a brute and a crybaby all at the same time. I like your recaps, but you are so bias towards Amanda. At least you admit it.
ReplyDeleteOf course I admit it. I've never denied it and I've never been fair. I don't know why this is always a surprise to people (not you specifically). I've been blogging Survivor and Big Brother for 85 years and I've ALWAYS picked favorites.
DeleteAdmire your loyalty Lala, we rarely like the same people with the exception of "Golden Boy" Malcolm on Survivor.. But why is Elissa saying she wants to leave worse than Amanda crying behind a trash can because the didn't win the comp than was thrown to her? Can't really root for any of these people Helen is the worst then Amanda, GM and Spencer, pretty sad when the mean racist girl is best in the house. Would like Mcrae if he'd dump that bitch and play on his own, guess sex every night is worth 500,000!!! Hope Judd comes back and can manage to stay to the end..
ReplyDeleteAmanda went and cried, collected herself, and jumped back headfirst into the game. She's there to play. Elissa is basically saying "If you vote me out I'm taking my ball and going home." And what makes it even more infuriating is she's not even playing the game! She's just hanging out with Helen. She has not made one game move of had one original idea the whole time she has been in. So she's basically saying "If I can't be on TV anymore I'm leaving." Super lame.
DeleteHUGE difference.
OOPS sorry about errors didn't want to rewrite..
ReplyDeleteI too will be super pissed if Elvira wins America's vote in the end. More so than last year's Frank Choice. At least he played the game hard, she adds nothing to the feeds or show. I hope they put her behavior on the show so all of America can judge and out number the rabid Brenchal fans who are delusional and think she is playing a good game.
ReplyDeleteEven though I want Helen to get sent packing, I hope she wins the POV this week and Elvira goes. That would practically guarantee that J U DD would come back in. I want Helen there to insure the fireworks and in her case waterworks,to follow with J U DD coming back in. I hope it is done before the HOH Comp and that he plays and wins. OH BOY OH BOY, the BB Bus will be busy if that happens. KimG
Elissa missing her sons 1st day of 3rd grade was not the issue it was her refusal to sit next to Aaryan and GM and calling them disgusting. Plus her refusal to speak to Aaryan when she asked her what was wrong. Once again this privileged entitled bitch has spewed her vile judgments and polluted the air. Its O.K. to have a bad day whats not O.K. is abusing others because your having a bad day. Listening to her refusal to acknowledge and apologize for her mistreatment and her delusional rationale for this is amazing. I wonder how she is able to maintain relationships outside the house. I guess she only interacts with those who endorse/enable her behavior. I dont understand what benefit Helen deives from her alliance with Elissa.
ReplyDeleteYou're kidding, right? I could delete Elissa's name and insert the names, Aaryan and/or GinaMarie and the post would be right on-the-mark.
DeleteI get Elissa. I think she feels the way I do...... "I just don't have time for the shit anymore" and I don't feel the need to apologize for that.
Go away and STFU. I don't mean you Hooligans. That's for all those who get on my last nerve
Then who are you addressing? Cuz it seems like it's to Hooligans. Also, Elissa needs to grow the fuck up. Who cares what they've said, just fucking sit by them and shut up.
DeleteThis is like the third time Elissa has threatened to quit. I'm not really that surprised though, bb13 every week Rachel didn't win HOH she just packed her bags and started threatening to leave, I whole heartily agree that Elissa is a terrible sport and that it's better off if she does quit during jury because then America gets a vote for the final and we don't have to hear Elissa go, "Well I don't really like either of you in the final 2 so sadly I vote for (INSERT KEY) because that's, like, what everyone seems to, like, want..."
ReplyDeleteGoodbye Eliza...you know what you do...no way you're THAT clueless!
ReplyDeleteWell, first fuck Amanda and her losing ass BS. Second, is her nephew bi-racial or black? If he's bi-racial, I'd think that she'd be sensitive enough to distinguish the two ethnicities. SHe was an a-hole to both of the people of color in the house, and now I'm supposed to believe that she really wants a letter from home from this nephew? Give me a break.
ReplyDeleteUgh. Can't stand that Aryan is HOH again! This idiot probably will make it to the end and she still hasn't caught on to all of the clues that Julie & Production are giving her regarding her language.
I know that Elissa may be seen as boring, but good for her for having some damn morals and telling that trash Aryan & GM that they're trash and she doesn't want to have anything to do with them. It's about time someone addressed their skanky BS.
If you think that is being moral, you have some fucked up morals.
DeleteMorals and BB do not go together. The best players are utterly void of morality. Dan, Will, Rachel, even Shelly, all lied and backstabbed to make their way to the top. And, I don't see anyone attacking that homophobic bigot Jeff for all the hate he spewed, now he has a contract with CBS. ridiculous. I hope Aaryn wins it all, and that Amanda comes in second.
DeleteI don't think the term Mastermind applies to BB. Simplemind on the other hand is perfect. These people are BrainDumb. I will agree that Xmanda is a little smarter than most of the HGs but that's not saying much. BB has a formula, take some not so bright people with emotional problems, mix in some paranoia and walla you have BB. I like the live feeds because you get to watch a group of people kinda go insane and get so sucked in by it that you're kinda insane too. They may have crossed a line with Elvira and GM, they are borderline mentally/emotionally challenged and I make fun of them but sometimes I feel weird about it.
ReplyDeleteFunny. Write about "not-so-bright" people and "walla"? Perhaps you mean "Voila!"? One of those things bright people should know....
DeleteReally, a spell check, that's the best you can do? How bout I agree you're insane. Another example of a limited mentality!
DeleteElissa thinks all of the girls except Helen are trash, especially Amanda, who has no sense of shame in showing off her body at all. Every year, there is at least 1 female of this sort; this year it was the majority. Total lack of morals. However, I also think Elissa is just a bit too judgmental. As much as I love Elissa, she really does need to get off her high horse before she hurts herself from looking down on all the little people.
ReplyDeleteThis house is ignorant. Elvira can't and won't win this game and neither can/will Spencer. Yet, no one wants to make the huge moves. Hell-en & Elvira will get nominated, one will win veto, Spencer will go up, and everything one will vote him home, unanimously.
ReplyDeleteAll of this talk about Amanda and Helen running the house is fools gold, because if they really were, they wouldn't gone after each other already.
I feel sorry for silly little Jessie and hopes she reenters and wins even though she doesn't deserve it.
Aaryn's 4 HoHs will ultimately mean nothing unless Hell-en and or Amanda or Elvira go home THIS WEEK.
good post
Unless Hell-en, Amanda or Elvira go home THIS WEEK< then this whole thing is bullshit.
ReplyDeleteI feel sorry for Jessie. She was silly, dumb, and awkward but at least she told some truth and made the point that Hell-en and Amanda are running things.
Either Elvira and Spencer will go home unanimously and the house will suck balls again.
good post
I know Colette is a big girl and certainly does not need me (someone she never met) to defend her...but seriously....if you do not like colette and have not embraced the "bitchy empire"...then, PLEASE for the love of magic mike... stay away.... I am not saying that everyone here has to agree and love everyone that colette loves...hell, im a jeff fan, and i hate anyone Hantz-adjacent....BUT seriously... why come here? i just dont get it....if you vehemently despise colette and all her bitchy wonderfulness, why are you here??? does she come to your house and tell you to F-off (well, knowing colette, maybe, but you get my drift)... IF you soul purpose of reading her blog is to spread your hate, dont come here...isnt your time more valuable than coming, reading and replying to a site you hate? i just dont get people...
ReplyDeletesorry, but i really needed to get that off of my chest for WEEKS.....
well done Colette...here's hoping for a helen/elissa nomination and JU-DD re-entry.
also, favorite part, amanda crying behind the trash bin...it just goes to show you that there is truly NO WHERE to hide & have a moment :)
~carolyn
I agree with your noms and the return of J U DD. However I disagree with your kumbaya call to arms. Dissenting opinions are well within the definition of "bitchy".
DeleteI like dissenting opinions, too.... The bitchy/snarkier the better..... I'm just tired of the Colette bashing ... Its her blog for god's sake.... I didn't mean to insinuate a kumbaya vibe, I would hate that, for certain :)
Delete~carolyn
Glad to see you back Ms. Lala. I was beginning to fear that the haters had driven you off. Now that it is all but certain that Helen will be leaving this week I have a vision of the end game. Elissa and Spenser will be the next to depart followed by Andy and McCrae. The final three will be Aaryn, Amanda and GinaMarie. Production forgets to give Amanda and Aaryn their Adderall the morning before the final HOH endurance comp is to start. They get into a physical fight and are both ejected. This leaves GinaMarie shouting out in the BY, "Does this mean I win? Does this mean I win?" Chenbot and Allison Grodner quickly announce that the jury will now vote one of their own back into the house to face GinaMarie in the finale. After four split ballots the white smoke finally rises from the jury room and the idiots send Candice back into the game. In their arguments to the jury these two "classy" women once again devolve into personal verbal attacks as neither one can point to anything they really did in the game to justify winning. The jurors finally approach the nominations box to insert the key of the person they think should win BB 15. To everyone's surprise when the keys are pulled it is a 4 to 3 vote (Amanda and Aaryn were ejected so they are not in the jury) and Judd wins over Jessie. Production is thrilled with all the press they receive for having outdone that upstart BB Canada for a shocker ending. Expect the unexpected! GinaMarie is left to wander the backyard till next season muttering to herself, "I outlasted all of youse guys so I won." Production decides to continue on the path they started this season and announce that BB 16 will be a version of All Stars pitting HGs from season 15 against HGs from season 9. GinaMarie remarks, "Oh cool, so I don't gots to unpack."
ReplyDeleteThis was ridiculously hilarious. Thank you.
DeleteJust so everyone knows, Amanda has NOT mentioned having an adopted, autistic black nephew. Her dad told people about her nephew when he was interviewed by someone about some of Amanda's tacky comments. Lala's use of it was meant to be ironic. (Thanks Lala, you got laughs out of me, even though I am very much NOT team Amanda.) Keep up the good work.
ReplyDelete-Macky F.
LOL at Amanda and Co. thinking they have a legitimate shot at America's Player. It'll NEVER happen. Its pretty amazing how Amanda went from being a favorite to now probably one of the most hated houseguests in BB history. Hoping Jessie comes back to make some real power moves.
ReplyDeleteHave fun with high hopes for Jessie, she'll be voted in and the house will vote her right back out again. She was a terrible player from the beginning, and I highly doubt she'll win HOH if she gets back in the house.
DeleteCan't wait for Amanda to walk out that house and face the cold reality that America despises her. That girl is a piece of work. Crying behind a trash can because Aaryn didn't give her the HOH... Entitlement much?
ReplyDeleteAn inflated sense of self-importance and unwarranted entitlement are two traits that characterize virtually anyone who auditions for any reality show, right? Why else would someone subject him- or herself to weeks of filmed scrutiny and editing designed to emphasize one's worst breakdowns and peccadilloes? Elissa, Amanda, and VaGina are the worst of the remaining batch of delusional ones (I think Aryan is well aware of how she's been portrayed and has been doing damage control for weeks to try to salvage her reputation), but Elissa has surpassed her sister as the most unpleasant houseguest in history. She has done NOTHING but whine, do yoga, ride coattails, win a Veto that was probably handed to her by production, and criticize everyone else for having "offended" her. Why she didn't wind up on a Real Housewives show rather than this one mystifies me. If she had, I wouldn't ever have had to see her. Hate, hate, hate, HATE Elissa!
ReplyDeleteColette, why do you not comment on how vile Spencer is? I feel as though I should take a Silkwood shower every time he talks about sex.
So once again Elvira wins a "find some stuff" veto. What did they do glue the stuff to her ass!
ReplyDeleteHow bout Moron and moron plus get the fuck out of the HOH bed. I've have never hated anyone more than I hate the 2 year old and McStrange!
ReplyDeletecryptic much?
ReplyDeleteSo, it's no wonder that Production coached Elvira on Otev and hid the one Jessie answer in a place they revealed to her; we tend to expect Production to coach a favorite in order to help him or her win. What's a mystery is WHY this whiny do-nothing IS a favorite. She's not her sister, although they share a handful of traits (duck lips, bad skin, and a tendency to quit when she loses and gloat when she wins). I'm really at a loss to explain why being the sister of an infamous former houseguest automatically makes you worthy of worship.
ReplyDeleteMy prediction for Thursday: Helen will be evicted, which won't be a surprise to her, since she'll long have been informed of the decision by that point. She'll step outside, destroy Candice, JU-DD, and Jessie in the competition (which will probably test their rice-making or cheerleading prowess), and immediately return to wallop everyone in the next HOH competition. She'll target Amanda and Aryan, and one of the really interesting people will go home. Yawns will abound after that.
Wierd scenes inside the goldmine...
ReplyDeleteLOVE your blog! After reading much of what else was being written out there, I was starting to think the sheeple mentality had spilled over into one of my favorite summer traditions. I too am an Amanda fan, and have been amazed at all the poor sports who are pissed that their whiny little princess isn't winning. 'Elvira' deserves to win....NOTHING. What a fucking stuck-up bitch. She is "disgusting" (a favorite word of hers), and quite frankly, one of the rudest, and most ungrateful people I have ever seen. In hours of live feeds, and numerous occurrences of someone saving her ass, I have heard her utter the phrase 'Thank you' exactly one time. But I digress, and really didn't intend to talk about her...... but one more thing..... I found her sister equally painful to watch and listen to as well.
ReplyDeleteAs for as Amanda, I think she has played a great game, with the exception of her horrible reactions to comp losses. Suck it up, Buttercup. I wish it was part of her strategy, but I don't think so. But seriously, for not having won a thing, she's had a pretty good run so far, and has certainly set things up to go to the end. Only time will tell if she has what it takes to get to F3.
Aaryn has me puzzled at this point. Who the hell was she the first few weeks? She has maintained this current demeanor for too long now, so it can't be an act. It's really too bad, because this Aaryn seems like an ok young lady, who is playing this game like a pro. I think I will re-watch the Live Feeds I have on the DVR, and try to hear everything that was said again. All that whispering in the hammock, it was hard to hear exactly who said what, and while whoever said it should have been reprimanded immediately by the others, I wonder if there was a 'young mob mentality' that took over. I have actually questioned in my mind the one comment I can for certain attribute to Aaryn, who directed it at Helen, which was "why don't you go make some rice". When I heard it live I was disgusted. Within days I realized just how many others were disgusted as well. It was a stupid, rude, ignorant comment..... but many more hours of live feed do have me questioning if it was actually racist. You see, I have heard Hell-in say "I'm going to make some fried rice" or "do you want fried rice?" at least a dozen times since then. And that doesn't mean I condone Aaryn's statement, or think it was kind in any way. It just made me wonder if maybe, just maybe Aaryn is more of a petulant child, who says something snotty under her breath, perhaps to get a laugh, or possibly just because she's young and a brat, but not actually a racist. Just a thought...... and easier for me to digest than a 22 year old being a bigot.
Thanks again Colette, I'm looking forward to your next post.
A look at the "BB15 Bigotry SuperCut" (created by S12's Matt Hoffman), would give you a lot more than ONE from Lala's precious Aaryn. And that's just from the first couple of weeks, it doesn't include her calling Howard "King Kong" or Candice "Aunt Jemima", for example.
DeleteAnd at the time of Aaryn's MULTIPLE "She should just shut up and make some rice" comments, Helen had actually never made rice in her life. (She doesn't cook, and had to ask Elissa for advice the first time she tried it.) Look before you apologize/whitewash.
Btw, have you been enjoying Aaryn's numerous "I look like a fat lesbian mule" comments on BBAD? She sure wasn't 'whispering" those. Or is it okay to compare lesbians to farm animals and assume they're all fat? I know it's okay with Colette, the Bigots' Best Friend, but you might have some decency, so I shouldn't pre-judge you.
For Colette, the only reason I'm commenting on this post after skewering you in my comment on the August 3rd post is because I decided to give you a second chance, see if you'd come to your senses, and were no longer leading the cheers for Aaryn. Except that now you're doing it literally. Of course you are. Good practice for all those KKK rallies you'll be attending, I suppose.
(And the hypocrisy of your glossing over Amanda's breakdown while getting huffy about Elissa being the 900th contestant in the history of the show to talk about self-evicting/not going to Jury without any of them ever actually doing so would be laughable if it wasn't so annoying. Farewell, forever. And thanks for soiling my memories of Ragamuffin and Fabulicious, the true and deserving winners of S11. Sigh.)
Dan
Ahhhh.... if I could only believe it really was 'farewell, forever'. But then again, you might have some decency and be a man of your word, so I shouldn't pre-judge you.
ReplyDelete¯\_(ツ)_/¯