Saturday, September 5, 2009

Big Bitchy Contest - 3 Days Left


If you're looking for today's recap, it's the post right before this one.


OK contest lovers, the Big Bitchy Contest is still on and I've got to say I've had some GREAT entries. You've got only 3 more days to enter so let's do this people!


For rules and prize info, please visit Big Bitchy Contest.


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THE REUNION PARTY



It was Friday night at the new hot club in downtown L.A. It was the night of the Big Brother 11 cast reunion party! There were bottles of (1) LIQUID and trays of (2) FOOD ready to be enjoyed by all. The host for the evening was none other than Allison Grodner herself. She carried around a (3) OBJECT with her all night and looked very dignified.

Lydia and Jessie arrived hand in hand and Lydia delighted in showing everyone her new tattoo of (4) NOUN. Jessie wore pink muscle pants and a t-shirt that said (5) FUNNY QUOTE. They kept their distance from Natalie because she was with her boyfriend who spent the evening shooting evil (6) PLURAL NOUN in Jessie’s direction. He also had a hand on the Ragamuffin’s (7) BODY PART and she found it very difficult to move freely.

Jeff and Jordan, the couple everyone hotly anticipated, arrived late because Jordan was busy (8) VERB Jeff’s (9) BODY PART. They smiled sweetly for the cameras and when asked what their favorite part of being in Big Brother was, Jordan said, (10) JORDAN-ISM and Jeff replied (11) JEFF-ISM.


Michele was decked out in a (12) ADJECTIVE dress and kept whispering for her husband to shove a (13) NOUN up her ass. He was a little taken aback at her public request but obliged her and Michele felt (14) EMOTION.

Russell and Casey, new besties, spent all of their time in the DJ booth playing (15) MUSICIAN/BAND and comparing their (16) PLURAL NOUN.

On the dance floor was where Laura and Braden shined. She swayed her (17) NOUN and he shook his (18) PLURAL NOUN. Ronnie tried to dance and join in the fun but his (19) NOUN kept getting in the way.

The winner, Kevin, made a grand entrance decked out in his best (20) GARMENT. It was (21) COLOR and smattered with (22) PLURAL NOUN. His boyfriend gazed upon him adoringly and thought about all the (23) THINGS he could now buy with the prize money.

The merriment lasted for hours and everyone had a blast. The night was a success! Off in the distance, if you listened closely, you could hear the (24) ADJECTIVE voice of an expelled Houseguest shouting (25) CHIMA-ISM, you motherfuckers!

The End

3 comments:

  1. 1. Tequila
    2. TOOOOONA!!!
    3. Burger King Crown
    4. Jessie's Balls
    5. "Dae Yum! Dae Yum!"
    6. Spit Balls
    7. Latina Booty
    8. Scratching
    9. Teeny Tiny EGO
    10. Playing with my BOOBS on National TV!!
    11. I GOT GOT!
    12. Strapless red
    13. Fist
    14. elated
    15. QUEEN
    16. Big Brother Goof-Ups
    17. Mrs. ED Teeth
    18. Ugly butt
    19. Pinnochio Nose
    20. Feather BOA
    21. Green and Yellow
    22. Fairie Dust
    23. New Boyfs
    24. Shrill Racist
    25. "You took away my HOH and my day to shine, you mofos!!!"

    ReplyDelete
  2. THE REUNION PARTY

    It was Friday night at the new hot club in downtown L.A. It was the night of the Big Brother 11 cast reunion party! There were bottles of HOLY WATER and trays of CROW ready to be enjoyed by all. The host for the evening was none other than Allison Grodner herself. She carried around a CLAIROL HOME PERMANENT KIT with her all night and looked very dignified.

    Lydia and Jessie arrived hand in hand and Lydia delighted in showing everyone her new tattoo of THE LYRICS TO “FUNKY TOWN”. Jessie wore pink muscle pants and a t-shirt that said “WON’T YOU TAKE ME TO FUNKY TOWN”. They kept their distance from Natalie because she was with her boyfriend who spent the evening shooting evil TWISTY TIES in Jessie’s direction. He also had a hand on the Ragamuffin’s TOOTH PLAQUE and she found it very difficult to move freely.

    Jeff and Jordan, the couple everyone hotly anticipated, arrived late because Jordan was busy KISSING Jeff’s ASS. They smiled sweetly for the cameras and when asked what their favorite part of being in Big Brother was, Jordan said, EXPLAINING FEMALE ANATOMY and Jeff replied WHAT WAS THE QUESTION?


    Michele was decked out in a SHORT HALTER dress and kept whispering for her husband to shove a BOTTLE OF HOLY WATER up her ass. He was a little taken aback at her public request but obliged her and Michele felt DEVILISHLY DELICIOUS.

    Russell and Casey, new besties, spent all of their time in the DJ booth playing THE TITANIC SOUND TRACK and comparing their PARANOIA.

    On the dance floor was where Laura and Braden shined. She swayed her AMPLENESS and he shook his FINGER. Ronnie tried to dance and join in the fun but his INCESSANT TALKING kept getting in the way.

    The winner, Kevin, made a grand entrance decked out in his best BUTCH BOY VEST. It was MUSTARD and smattered with PLAID. His boyfriend gazed upon him adoringly and thought about all the THERAPY he could now buy with the prize money.

    The merriment lasted for hours and everyone had a blast. The night was a success! Off in the distance, if you listened closely, you could hear the VAGUELY FAMILIAR voice of an expelled Houseguest shouting, I’M TWITTERING ALL OF THIS SHIT, you motherfuckers!

    The End

    ReplyDelete
  3. 1. Gatorade, merlot and Muscle Milk
    2 cookie dough and oven dried squid jerky (Jessie’s own recipe)
    3. A ‘Michael’ Real Doll dressed in nothing but boxer briefs (there is something familiar about him…)
    4. her captain unitard goggles
    5. JC is my personal trainer (Or WWJD What would Jessie Do)
    6. twist ties
    7. Dreadlocks
    8. Giving raspberries to
    9 Armpit
    10. Do my boob’s look funny? They feel kinda weird.
    11. Jordan shut up.
    12. poly/acrylic/spandex blend
    13. a bottle of wine
    14. face chewing ecstasy
    15. the new collaboration between Lil’wayne and Clay Aiken
    16. bananas
    17. glistening mane
    18. head shots
    19 light saber
    20 zippered hoody
    21. all the colors of the neon rainbow
    22 fabuliciousness!
    23. gay leprechauns
    24 bowel liquefying
    25 everyone in there is a racist misogynist besides me

    ReplyDelete