One girl's twistedly fantastic interpretation of what the hell is really going on inside the Celebrity Big Brother house.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Willie: The Revenger
Last one!
Meet 34 year old Willie Hantz of the infamous Texas Hantzes. The Hantzes are very much like cockroaches. In the case of a nuclear attack, only they will survive. Parts of them might be melted off, but their characteristic I'M A HATZ tattoos will identify them through the nuclear winter. Yes, it's HATZ. The Hantzes may be everywhere these days, but that doesn't mean they can spell.
Willie describes himself as serious, hostile and docile. His favorite activities are gambling and strip clubs. His life motto is... wait a tic, did he just say "gambling and strip clubs"? *glitter falls from the sky* I'm beginning to like this Willie character. And if I keep on reading his CBS.com bio I'll discover that he wants to take cigarettes and vodka into the house. It's a Christmas miracle!
Willie would have turned to suicide were he to be in the house with Rachel. A quick and painless shot to the head with his 9 and the red-headed nightmare would be erased. I have a feeling he would have preferred to kill Rachel instead of himself, but you probably can't put that in a network questionnaire.
There is a softer side to Willie though. His kids are what he's most proud of and I suspect we'll see them on the next season of Swamp People. Rambunctious little rugrats covered in mud and slime shooting the neighborhood dogs and cats for the family supper. Willie tries to discipline them with a strap and a bear trap, but they're faster than he is. Plus there's a dead 'coon in the trap right now and the missus forgot to clean in out.
So yeah, that's Willie. Let's check out how he is in person. Please to enjoy:
Oh he's a wizard alright. He wants to "revenge" his brother's loss on Survivor. Wasn't Robert Downey Jr. just fabulous in Revengers 2?
Willie may not be the brightest bulb there ever was, but he's confident and charismatic and I won't begrudge him that. He's immediately more likable than his brother and you know I appreciate someone who hopes the entire house hates each other. (That's all I've ever wanted!)
"I don't have no integrity." Hang on...
*goes to the garage for the baby pool of pink glitter I keep on standby*
"I'll vote off my mama first."
*prepares, inhales, raises arms above head... and DIVES!* Ohhh it feels sooo good on my skin. Oh yeahhhh... *does the backstroke and blows little poofs of glitter off of each hand* Poof! Poof!
Willie doesn't care for how Adam played the game and neither did I! (Note: Adam is actually a really great sport and didn't get mad at anything I said about him last season. Can you believe it?!? Either he's super super nice or mentally ill.) It's interesting what Willie has to say about Britney thinking she's better than everyone else because I kind of agree. I liked Britney and she made me laugh at times, but I was never gaga over her. She's not someone I pine to see more of - let's just put it that way.
I'm very excited that Willie wants to manipulate the way people think. I've always thought psychological warfare was woefully neglected in Big Brother. Matt (BB12) played with it a little bit, but the last great attempt has to be Kevin and Natalie's BB11 lies. I loved those! The more I watch Willie, the more I like him. He might be what saves this vanilla cast from falling into a BB13 slump. (I HATED BB13!) He'll stir up the house into a bubbly concoction of festering evil. I don't see how anyone can hide and be boring with Willie poking sticks at their lifeless bodies.
So what do you guys think of Willie? Does the Hantz thing bother you or do you not care?
And that'll do it for the cast write ups! Big thanks to Big Brother Network for making these videos available to everyone. You can check out even more interviews over at SuperPass, but you can't see them unless you sign up for the Live Feeds! The Early Bird Special is winding down and there's never a better time than now to join in the fun. Plus, there's an episode of Rumor Control today with Rachel and Janelle - that should be interesting.
Thank you so much to everyone who has gotten their Live Feeds from my little dog and pony show here. I'm a small site, but I pack a pretty big punch. And, believe me, I plan on punching a LOT of people this summer. Fun!
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I don't want to be voted out for a deuce.
ReplyDeleteI. Heart. Willie. I don't care if he's a Hantz. I enjoyed every minute of Russell on Survivor. So if Willie causes drama and great television, then I say bring it on.
ReplyDeleteLala, I am strapping on my Red Riding Hood cape and entering the Dark Forest of Big Brother against my will. Bless your evil little heart. Can't wait to read.
Im torn. Part of me wants to hate him based on being yet another Hantz, but if what he claims in the above video is what he actually does, he could be a grade A Houseguest. I guess as long as he dont act like Russell and he keeps me entertained, I wont care that he a Hantz.
ReplyDelete-sending the kid away to sleep away camp...check!
ReplyDelete-got feeds.....check!
-perfectly air conditioned cave....check!
Ready to get this show on the road. In the mean time I'm going to clean out my DVR,and spend a few evenings watching Louie,Nurse Jackie and Taboo.
I think the Hantz could be a win win either way We can watch him stir up the house on reg basis or could be just as funny watching him crash&burn I think he is going to deliver either one& no middle ground there.So I think my hope for him is almost 100 guaranteed& the only 1 out of the 12
ReplyDeleteRooting value yet to be determined tho
So glad you're back for another season of BB, Lala! I'm settling in for a long, hot summer laughing my *ass* off at your blog! XD
ReplyDeleteBless his heart. He thinks he can live forever on $500K... or whatever amount is left after taxes. Doesn't he see folks like Rachel sucking at the BB dick like a $10 crackwhore? That money isn't that much. Just sayin'
ReplyDeleteHe looks just like his brother. I don't know how long he can hide the fact that he's a Hantz. And what the hell did their momma do to raise TWO boys who would stab her to get some money? These two are out of control. Great tv - but can you imagine being related to them?
That being said, I think Willie is gonna bring it. I'm anticipate really good diary. And I think he might be a little bit like BB11 Russell. Which means delicious fighting!! YAY! Say what you will about Chima, but that fight between her and Russell was one of the best BB moments EVER. I'm counting on Willie to bring the drama and make me wanna pop popcorn.
He literally watches the show, literally. As opposed to... ok I'm watching all these vids, since I only know Wil I guess I have to see who is on this season against my crazy virtual son.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the glitter and cheap gin, i got the feeds from here Lala !
ReplyDeleteWanna make out?
DeleteI love this guy. The Hantz thing doesn't bother me because I liked Russell (well, his first season on Survivor at least).
ReplyDeleteSeems to be a mental player, I love how he wants to manipulate. He's not afraid to be a villain, he understands you need to keep people who hate each other both in the house to keep the heat off yourself.
Not sure he can win the whole thing. I'm sure CBS will try their best to let the Hantz secret slip, and I'm not sure he's going to be liked by the other houseguests enough. To get to the end, he'll probably have to do some backstabbing.
Should be fun to watch though.
Oh my. An essential ingredient for mind control is the mind part. Does he actually have one? I just don't know. I admit, (ironic, because I'm from Alabama) the Louisiana swamp accent does throw me a little. But his super-cocky attitude and willingness to do ANY (and I mean ANY) thing to win, and football references ALL hold promise. I envision some fights between the New York twins and him. OR mad love.
ReplyDeleteAt least he appreciated the idea of being a villain. And hating on Adam and Britney always appreciated. LIKE.
-- Leigh