Sunday, July 5, 2009

Jordan Will Let You Ring Her Southern Belles

Jordan. Southern Belle. Bless her heart. She doesn't have the internet and a 5 hour flight to the big bad city of L.A. is just sooooooooo long. Bitch, try flying to Thailand with a hangover, a broken bra strap, and an empty bottle of xanax!

Seriously though, this chick is wholeseome. I'm talking unicorns and rainbows wholesome. Wait a tic... isn't she the one with the boob job? Please tell me her parents got them for her because of Big Brother. I would love that! You know she got back from her initial interview where all the big plastic boobs of L.A. scared her yet intrigued her at the same time. She wondered what they felt like. She envisioned herself being able to survive a plane crash over the ocean because she'd be able to float. You know she didn't get those bubbies for sex. Hell no!

I wonder if Miss Jordan is a virgin... just a good ole gal from the trailer park... reminds me of Kirsten Dunst's character in Drop Dead Gorgeous. Amber Atkins. Pretty, innocent, trying to make something of her life. I will have SO much fun creating Jordan's back story. The possibilites are endless. I haven't decided if I'll turn her into a slut yet. Nah. I like her virginal. Virginal but OBSESSED with sex. The naughty virgin.

In a nutshell, this game is going to eat her alive. Someone will lie to her or use her and she'll lose all faith in the world. Bunnies won't make sense anymore and clowns will only frown. She's delightful in a way. I'll have a good time with her.


  1. I wonder if she had ever left her county before the Big Brother interviews.

  2. Don't let southern women fool you! I've lived in the south my whole life and the women here are very sly. They come off as oh so sweet and innocent and it's all a lie. Southern women are strong and manipulative. They go after what they want and get it. All the while smiling so sweetly bless their hearts! LOL.