Official Bitchy Welcome Complete With Spoilers

Greetings fellow Big Brother junkies! How antsy are you today? I don't know about you, but I'm having trouble keeping my mind focussed on anything not BB related. I went to Whole Foods to purchase supplies for my underground BB shelter and a strange thing happened while in the produce section. I squeezed a melon or two. Natalie. Tested the firmness of a zucchini. James. Bought a giant box of raisins. Jessie. Everywhere I turned I saw ghosts of BB past.

Those of you new to the Bitchy Big Brother Blog should know how this season will be going down...

I will be posting a recap blog everyday. Each blog will cover all the goings-on in the house of the prior 24 hour period. For example, a blog post on Friday will cover everything from Thursday day into Thursday late night. Saturday's blog will cover Friday and so on. Blogs will contain clips of the previous days juiciest moments. No fight, sexual dalliance, or sneaky scheming will go unnoticed by moi. They will all be posted here for your viewing pleasure and retold with my signature bitchy wit and charm.

I will send a tweet when a new blog is up. Please follow me on Twitter so you never miss a thing: http://twitter.com/ColetteLala

If you're not on Twitter, don't sweat it. The blog will be up probably between 12- 2 PM EST weekdays and a little earlier weekends. It coincides perfectly to when the HG's wake their lazy asses up California time.

Since I will be covering EVERYTHING in the house, this blog will contain SPOILERS. You'll have spoilers coming out your ass by the time I'm done with you. I'm warning you now: If you do not want to know who wins competitions or who gets nominated before the CBS show airs then this is not the place for you. Thank you for stopping by and have a lovely day.

For those of you who want and need to know everything, welcome! You can call me Lala and I will be your Cruise Director for Big Brother Season 11 2009. Please extinguish all cigarettes and return your seats and tray tables to their full upright position.

Let's get those pesky abbreviations out of the way, shall we? If you're not familiar with BB blogs, the following abbreviations will be used almost daily. Get to know them.

BB - Big Brother (duh)
HG - Houseguest
HOH - Head of Household
POV - Power Of Veto
DR - Diary Room
LD - Lockdown (when HG's are forbidden to go either inside or outside)
BY - Backyard
LR - Living Room
BR - Bedroom
BBT - Big Brother Time (Pacific Time)
FoTH - Flush of The House, this is the graphic we see when the feeds go down (during competitions, prepping for live show, whenever an HG sings or talks smack about someone in the real world)

With the increased popularity of Twitter it will no doubt (and already is!) be a HUGE part of BB11 (#BB11). I haven't decided yet if I'll tweet competition results. I wouldn't want to inadvertently tweet a spoiler to someone who doesn't want to be spoiled. I will, however, tweet MAJOR events as they're happening on the feeds. For example, "Huge fight between Laura & Lydia right now on Cam3!" That way if you're away from your feeds, you can drop everything and run wildly to your nearest computer.

If you are a live-feeder and frequent the chat rooms, go ahead and add me to your Friend List. I'm on Real Player as ColetteLala. My list is still intact from last season so if you've changed your name this season, please let me know.

Comment and comment frequently. Agree with me, disagree with me, lend me your insights... I love hearing what you guys have to say. I've changed my settings so Anonymous commenting is permitted. If you're a follower of my old blog, let me know who you are in the comments if you're commenting anonymously now.

Spread the word! This is my 4th season doing this blog and every year it gets bigger and better. This year the Bitchy Big Brother Blog is listed on several other BB sites as well as some cool blogs that might interest you (check out slackerchic listed on my blogroll). Tell your friends, tell your enemies, tell the dude in the next cubicle, retweet my tweets, show me love people. If you have a blog (BB related or not) and would like to be listed on my blogroll, shoot me an email at colette_lala@yahoo.com. You list me, I'll list you.


Thank you for your continued support,
Colette Lala

P.S. The Chenbot will be on Craig Ferguson tonight. Apparently, she's revealing a secret pertaining to this season. Clip will be posted here tomorrow.

***SPECIAL INSIDER INFO***

***BB insiders are reporting that we have one hell of a diva(o) in the house already. Someone lost a competition and threw a major hissy fit. My money is on Laura, Russell, or Braden. Who do you think it could be?

*** Yesterday HG's performed Thriller in memory of Michael Jackson. Can't wait to see that footage!

*** Ronnie has only been in the house for 3 days, but he's convinced he's already lost 4 lbs.

*** Could Jen Johnson be the Mystery Houseguest? Some sources are saying it's been confirmed. The Bitchy Big Brother Blog loves that bitch!

*** The BBDish site is reporting that the following HG's are the Mystery Houseguests: Brian (Brains), Jesse (Jocks), Cowboy (Outcasts), and Jessica (Populars)

*** Steven just said on the BB Hour that he's 99% only ONE HG is returning.