Saturday, June 22, 2013
Nick: He's Super
And this brings us to Nick. I've heard a lot about Nick Uhas in the past few days. He has apparently struck a chord with the Big Brother viewing audience and not in a good way. Let's see what I think about this 28 year old Entrepreneur from Hilliard, New York.
Ohhh Nick. Oh dear. When Nick speaks it is the equivalent of Mike Boogie in the Diary Room. There are a lot of hand gestures and random whoops sprinkled throughout. When asked what he does for a living, Nick replied, "I am a... professional... stunt... in-line skater. Most people are like 'Whaaaaaat?!? What does that even mean?'" He's an enthusiastic chap bubbling with narcissistic effervescence with a speech pattern not unlike a machine gun - tat tat tattattattat tat tat tat. Every syllable is emphasized. Every word has a period after it. And when he's really excited about something - which is all the time - his eyes open incredibly wide and he stares at different parts of the room as if to challenge them. Yo, window, you wanna piece of me?!
Nick has a laundry list of achievements that he is more than eager to share with you. He traveled around the world in 79 days (Was he competing with the book?), went to a Big Ten school (So what? I did too.) and has a super tight job in Manhattan as an automotive parts specialist of something or other. Who the hell knows. But, he gets to travel around the country and talk about cars which is sick because he loves cars and who doesn't love to talk about cars, brah. There was also some talk about biomedicine and engineering, but I didn't quite catch it all because Nick is a bundle of energy who apparently needs no oxygen because he never pauses long enough to take a breath. He might also be a sheep herder, a nurse and an acrobatic aviatrix. Nick has his hands in a lot pies so I wouldn't put it past him.
Nick isn't just a fan of Big Brother. He's a super fan. Everything Nick does is super. Far more super than anything you or I could ever do. Nick dreams and those dreams come true. Just last New Year's Eve Nick made a commitment to himself to use his entire being to its fullest capacity which somehow translates into appearing on Big Brother. The more I listen to Nick, the more I think he really needs to start a cult. He's enthusiastic, confident, outgoing, incredibly creepy and, no doubt about it, a savvy con artist. I'm thinking he's the guy behind that phone scam that calls senior citizens and scares the shit out of them telling them they owe back taxes. He gets their money and then puts it in an offshore account in the Cayman Islands.
The big question is, what do I think of Nick? I love him. I do and here's why - I've said time and time again that all I want from Big Brother is to be entertained. The recipe to getting that entertainment is to cast HUGE personalities. Let's get one thing straight, HUGE does not equal likable. Do I like Nick as a person? Hell no. Do I like Nick as a reality cast member? He makes my nipples hard. This guy is going to shake the house up. He is going to wheel and deal, He is going to lie and not care. He is going to manipulate. He is going makes promises and then he is going to break them. Hallelujah! We should have 16 of him in that house. THAT is my dream for Big Brother. Loud, obnoxious, hugely charismatic people all elbowing each other to grab that check. I am but a simple girl with simple dreams and like Nick's dreams, mine just came true.
The next question is, will Nick even make it to Jury? I'm not sure. We may need to drop in some Ritalin to keep him in line - like in Hunger Games when they dropped down that ointment to Katniss and Peeta. Nick has 15 things working against him and those things are every other Houseguest. He'll need an alliance entirely made up of timid followers or he'll need to team up with big go-getters just like himself if he wants to last. One thing is for certain, I don't think we'll ever be bored with Nick.
So, what do we think of Nick? Do you see promise in him like I do? Or is he too annoying and too over the top? Does he have a chance in hell of winning? Comment it out, bitches!
Nick just made the Live Feeds ridiculously awesome. Don't miss out!